==========================================
RANMA 1/2: Eight Days A Week
Story concept: Nigel M.
written by: Nigel M.
writer's unblocking by: RpM
==========================================
Author's note:
How can Ranma not notice Nabiki? I mean, c'mon! The girl wears super
short shorts most of the time!
---------------
Did I mention that the Writer is obsessed with Nabiki?
Oh yeah, there's a small treat for all you Soun Tendo fans in the back...
-Editor Rod
---------------
"*This means they're speaking a foreign language. Like English or
something.*" Otherwise they're speaking Japanese.
==========================
PART IV: NERIMA AFTER DARK
==========================
=======================
=FRIDAY (I'm In Love)==
=======================
===========
=PHASE 00I=
===========
There was darkness. It was familiar, comforting. There was a smell, sharp,
acrid. There was a haze, this was also familiar. A light, a blur, a shape.
Nabiki. He was in the infirmary. Again.
"Welcome back to the land of the living," Nabiki said, putting away the
smelling salts. "What, pray tell, are you doing in a kendo gi?"
Isamu took a moment to do a mental pushup or two. Name: Isamu Hentaii.
Occupation: Student.
"You're becoming a regular customer," she frowned, handing him a glass
of water.
"There're others?" He asked, sitting up slowly. Various parts of him
protesting.
Nabiki pulled back the curtain. On the other side, Ranma was lying face up
with a very pained and stunned look. Occasionally, he would mumble
"It's not my fault." To no one in particular.
"So what happened?" Nabiki said, sitting across from him. She arranged
her skirt demurely. "Some of Kuno's pals came in here grinning like idiots
and dumped you on the floor."
"Well," he began sheepishly. "It's like this...."
--------------------------------------------
Mommy has a 'name'. It is Shampoo, 'Nimaii-kun' thought. Mommy told
him that he can drop by the ris-too-rant anytime. The flesh thing that was
not mommy and had an, in 'Nimaii's' opinion, unusual head was squirming
his face really funnily.
'Nimaii-kun' followed the five legged thing with interest. From 'tv' it knew
that it was called a 'dog'. 'Nimaii-kun' followed it throughout the night,
unaware that he was melting into a canine form as well.
--------------------------------------------
Isamu walked, as usual, alone to his History class. He was... he didn't
know what he was. Happy, sure. Who wouldn't be? He's gonna go out with
Nabiki tonight. Nervous? Sure. He was used to dating in America, but
Japan was literally a whole continent away. Alone. That's what was
bugging him. He found it very hard to make friends here, he decided,
because he did things different ways. That and he couldn't use chopsticks
worth anything. It was in this state of mind that he passed by the Kendo
Hall.
Kuno, he thought. He may be a jerk, but he sure is popular. Lots of
friends. Acquaintances? Isamu had a few back in the States. Isamu
reminisced through most of History, taking a moment or two to totally
embarrass himself in front of the class. He left the class a bit more
dejected than before. It wasn't the 'making a fool of himself' part that
got him down. It was the fact that he didn't have anybody to talk to in
his classes. He only saw Nabiki and the others during lunch or after class.
Isamu, in his senior year, wanted to be known. He wanted to be remembered.
He passed by the Kendo Hall again. He stopped, and turned
sharply to look at the doors. Ranma bumped into him.
"Watch out, man." Ranma said grumpily. Akane had already smacked him
around and he wasn't in the best of moods.
"Ranma," Isamu said, not looking at him. "Tell me something, how long has
Kuno been captain of the Kendo Club?"
"His freshman year, I think." Ranma said, scratching his head. "Why?"
"And nobody's ever challenged him?" Isamu asked, still staring at the
door.
"Nuh-uh."
"I will," he said determinedly.
"You will?" Ranma asked as Isamu pushed the double doors open.
"Yeah," He said, walking in, Ranma trailing behind him.
"Why?'
"Because... I wanna fit in?" He said uncertainly.
"Huh," Ranma said, thinking it over. "Ok."
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Isamu," Nabiki said as she put away some bandages. "There are a lot
better ways to fit in than trying to wrest control of the Kendo club
from Kuno."
"Wow," Isamu said, rubbing his bruises. "'Wrest control'. I like the way
you said that."
Nabiki glared at him. "What happened next, laughing boy?"
--------------------------------------------------------------
Kuno stood in the middle of a circle of kendo artists. Ranma and Isamu
walked in as they attacked him simultaneously. In the blink of an eye,
they were disarmed. Kuno was about to make a speech when he spotted them.
He made one anyway.
"Foul sorcerers! Whyfor hast thou invaded the inner sacred sanctum of this
renowned and legendary training hall? The gall upon which-"
"You know," Isamu whispered nervously to Ranma as Kuno kept on babbling.
"Seeing how he pulped those guys, maybe I shouldn't-"
"Oh, what? That? C'mon, you're not letting something like him being better
than you stop you from fighting him, are you?" Ranma urged as he pushed
Isamu forward. "Go ahead, challenge him. Live up to your name."
"Hentaii?" Isamu asked, furrowing his brow.
"The other one," Ranma said angrily, shoving him right in Kuno's face.
Isamu thought about it. He wanted to fit in. No, he admitted to himself,
he wanted to be popular. This was the fastest way to do it. Take the
Kendo Club away from Kuno. He took a deep breath.
"-furthermore, you further emphasize your uncouthliness by whispering
while the great Tatewaki Kuno speaks!" Kuno finished. He noticed that
Isamu had not answered back. "Truly am I great that-"
"I am the terror, that flaps in the night!" Isamu said dramatically.
"I am the annoying little voice in the back of your head! I am the
barber who always gives you bad haircuts! I am Isamu Hentaii! And
I challenge you for control over the Kendo Club!" He hoped he could hide
the tremor in his voice.
Kuno looked him steadily in the eye. "Control over the Kendo Club?
So be it." He snapped his fingers and one of the students tossed Isamu a
weapon. "There are gis in the back," Kuno said, pointing with his bokken.
"Full contact," said Kuno as Isamu emerged from the locker. "For you must be
given every and all opportunities to unseat me."
"Whatever," Isamu smiled confidently as they bowed to each other. He was
having severe doubts about this whole thing. This could have been a
stupid idea. The only times he fought Kuno he won by luck and cheating.
His bag of tricks was at home. His gi wasn't helping either.
"Why are these gis so itchy?" Isamu muttered.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Isamu frowned, rubbing his chin.
"Why'd you stop?" Nabiki asked.
"I don't remember what happened next," Isamu said. "I think I lost."
"Pfff! Lost?" Ranma smirked, tossing out of his bed. "I'll tell you
what happened next."
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma sat down with the other kendoists, settling in to watch the match.
"Hey! Sato!" Ranma called as he saw an approaching figure. "Didn't know
you were in the club."
"Hey, Saotome," Sato greeted, squatting beside him. "What's happening
here? Is that your friend?"
"Yeah," Ranma nodded. "He wants to be Kendo Club captain ."
"So he challenged Kuno?" Sato scratched his head. "Why didn't he wait
until next week?"
"Why next week?" Ranma asked as Kuno rattled off another speech.
"It's club elections next week," Sato shrugged. "He should've just run
against Kuno."
"Club elections?" Ranma said, putting his hand behind his head.
"Oh, yeah!" He laughed.
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh, yeah? Whaddayou mean 'Oh, yeah'?" Isamu groaned. "You knew?
Why didn't you tell me?"
"I totally forgot about it." Ranma shrugged as Nabiki smirked.
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Full contact. For you must be given every and all opportunities to
unseat me."
"Whatever."
Ranma watched as they bowed to each other. Kuno immediately broke into
a run, savagely slashing downwards shouting, "THIS IS THE VENGEANCE
OF HEAVEN, FOOL!!"
Isamu grinned triumphantly as he hit aside Kuno's bokken and swung mightily.
*WHACKITYWACKITYWACKITYWHACKKK*
*WHACKITYWACKITYWACKITYWHACKKK*
*WHACKITYWACKITYWACKITYWHACKKK*
*WHACKITYWACKITYWACKITYWHACKKK*
--------------------------------------------------------------
"And?" Nabiki asked.
"And Kuno recovered, deflected his shot and hit him. Hard. Lots of times."
Grinned Ranma, clearly enjoying himself.
Isamu muttered some choice oaths in English.
"So why were you unconscious?" Nabiki asked, never missing a beat.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Kuno stood alone in front of a few training dummies. He smiled as he
remembered the heavenly beating he gave the sorcerer Hentai. The vengeance
of the Kuno family is truly a sight to behold! Kuno moved, slashing quickly.
"Your turn, Saotome." He walked away as flurries of straw streamed from
what was left of the dummies.
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Well that was painful," said Ranma, walking home with Isamu. "Akane said
you and Nabiki got a date tonight."
"Yeah," Isamu replied nervously.
"Nervous?"
"Is it that obvious?" Isamu said, a worried look crossing his face.
"I know I would be."
Isamu sighed. "I never got this dating thing right in the States."
"No?"
"Noooo," Isamu laughed. "I could tell you stories, but since I think I've
embarrassed myself enough for one day, I won't."
"Huh," Ranma kicked a stone high into the air.
"Hey, I got an idea," Isamu said, turning sharply to Ranma. "How about a
double-date?"
"With who?" Said Ranma, his head snapping up.
"You and Akane, man!" Isamu said excitedly. "Oh, this is perfect! You can
cover for me if I do anything too stupid and-"
"No way!" Ranma shouted. "Me and that tomboy?"
"I thought you were engaged," Isamu said, furrowing his brow in confusion.
"It's our stupid parents' fault! We ain't got nothin' in common! We fight
all the time!"
Isamu's eyes widened in realization. "You've never been out with her?!"
"No!"
"But you're engaged!"
"She hates me!"
"But you're engaged!"
"She's uncute!"
"But you're engaged!"
"I ain't got time for dating!"
"But you're engaged!"
"Stop saying that!"
"I don't understand this!" Isamu said, frustrated. "She's gorgeous!
She's sweet! She can cook! Are you ok?"
Ranma picked himself off the road. "Cook? Hah!" Ranma muttered.
"Yeah fine!" He said out loud.
"But this is perfect! don't you see? We go out on a first date,
you go out on a first date." He pointed out logically.
"The first thing goes wrong and I'm a splotch in the wall," Ranma pointed
out with the voice of experience.
"Haven't you heard of safety in numbers?"
"Never worked for me before, don't see how it'll help me now."
"Ok, that's it," Isamu said, rolling up his sleeves determinedly. "I can be
very persuasive when I want to."
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Please?" Isamu pleaded to a stony faced Ranma.
"No!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
--------------------------------------------------
"Tendo," Genma nodded solemnly. "Ranma and Akane still aren't getting
along as we hoped."
"Hm," Soun agreed. "It's time to set it in motion."
Soun and Genma stood up dramatically and shouted, "Operation: True
Romance!"
"Wait," Genma scratched after a while. "We already had that."
"Oh? Did it work?"
"No."
"Then this will be Operation: True Romance Revised!"
There was a strangled noise just inside the door. Ranma and Isamu lurked
slowly back into the living room.
"Ok," Isamu nudged. "It's either you take your chances with me, or you wait
for Operation: True Romance Revised."
Ranma thought long and hard. Whatever those two cooked up always, _always_
ended in disaster. On the other hand, is it better to deal with the devil
you know? But if this.... and if..... and what about...... Ranma's
brain hurt from trying to think of a way out. He couldn't find any.
Maybe going out with Akane wouldn't be too bad?
"Damn! All right!" He burst. "But I'm sending you all my hospital bills!"
"All right!" Isamu shouted, tossing a fist in the air.
"You're forgetting one thing," Ranma said, in tones that made Isamu
hesitate. "Now you gotta ask Akane."
"Me? Oh no, _you're_ asking Akane!"
"No way! I ain't asking-"
"Well I know I'm not-"
"If you think for one second-"
"You're going out with her. You ask her. It' s either that or
Operation True Romance Revised."
"Let's settle this like men then," said Ranma, rolling up his sleeves.
"Fine!" Isamu growled, cracking his knuckles. "One..."
"Two...." said Ranma, thrusting his fist back.
"THREE!!" They shouted, swinging their fists together.
"Damn!" Ranma said, stomping. "I always lose in Junken Pow!"
Isamu smiled as Ranma reluctantly readied himself for the task ahead.
"I'll leave you to it then. And ask her _nicely_" Said Isamu, walking
away smugly. Ranma hit him over the head with a bucket.
"Jerk," Ranma told him, walking into the house.
---------------------------------------------------------
"So Nabiki," Akane said, walking into her sister's room. The sun's
setting light streamed diffusely through the curtains. "Where do you
think he'll take you?"
"I don't know," Nabiki said, idly brushing her hair. "I don't expect
much from this date. You know, dinner, a movie, goodnight kiss."
"Nothing special, huh?" Akane shuffled her feet. How come Ranma never
asked her out? The jerk. She didn't want to go out with him anyway.
"Akane?" A voice called uncertainly. The sisters turned to each other.
"She's in here!" Nabiki called back. "What does he want?" Nabiki asked
her sister.
Akane shrugged. She's never heard him like that before. Ranma popped his
head into the room.
"Hi! ehehehe! Um, listen," Ranma started, facing Akane. Nabiki sat up.
He never talked like this unless he was going to do something he didn't
want to. Ranma looked at Nabiki, thought about asking to talk to Akane
alone, and thought better of it. "Akane," he tried. "Would you, um,
that is, jeez," Ranma took several deep breaths. "Wannagooutonadate?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So, are we in agreement?" Soun asked, looking up from the complicated
diagrams and handwritten notes in front of him.
"Yes," Genma nodded. "This should work."
"And if this doesn't work," Soun grinned, waving a sheaf of papers.
"There's always Plan B," Genma grinned, tapping his head. "Let's
go get the kids."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Akane's head snapped up, Nabiki smiled. "Took you long enough," Nabiki
said, putting the brush away.
Akane's mouth opened and shut. Ranma just asked her out. "Um..."
Nabiki watched their wild-eyed expressions and rolled her eyes. "That means
'Yes Ranma, I would be delighted to.'"
Ranma's mouth was opened and shut. He couldn't believe he just asked
her out. It was one thing to think it, but to actually do it..... "Um..."
Nabiki sighed and sat up. "Just so this doesn't take forever," she said,
looking levelly at the two. "Let me handle this."
This had the desired effect. Whenever Nabiki handled something, it usually
got Ranma hurt. Bad. "No!" Ranma said. "I mean, no thank you. Akane,"
he said, turning to Akane. "Isamu had a great idea."
"Like taking his car out for a spin?" Nabiki asked flippantly. "Or that
basketball game? Or fighting Kuno? Or-"
Ranma soldiered on, hearing the footsteps of the oncoming fathers. "He said
we could double date with him and Nabiki."
Nabiki shrugged. "The more the merrier. As long as you two don't spoil my
date."
Akane gained some semblance of her old self. "Hey! _I_ haven't agreed to
any-"
She was cut off in mid sentence as Ranma urgently
whispered in her ear. "Listen! Our dads are planning something to 'bring
us together'. You know what that means. This way, it'll take the heat
off both of us for a while. Besides, it's Isamu's idea. Do you really think
I'd want to go out with a tomboy like you?"
Ranma stepped back as Akane reared back. The door flew open, smacking him in
the back, knocking him into Akane. Ranma hung onto Akane tightly. This was
the moment Soun and Genma chose to open the door. Soun's eyes immediately
started watering as Genma adjusted his glasses grinning wildly.
"Looks like we don't need Plan A after all," Soun wept.
Akane knocked Ranma out the window and into the pond. Nabiki walked
out of her room as her dad and Ranma's started gushing all over Akane.
"This'll be an interesting date," she mused, whistling tunelessly.
------------------------------------------------------
Kasumi saw everything. From Isamu's pleading to Ranma's swim.
"That'll be an interesting date," she smiled as she prepared dinner.
-------------------------------------------------------
"That'll be an interesting date," said Sasuke as he leaped from tree to tree
towards the Kuno Mansion. He was certain his master and mistress would
make it even more interesting.
------------------------------------------------------
P-chan walked down the hall towards what he thought was Akane's room.
It's been a fairly long while since he'd been here. Suddenly, the ground
fell away from him as his view was filled with Akane's bosom.
"Hello, P-chan!" Akane beamed. P-chan squealed happily.
"Guess what? Ranma asked me out on a date," she said, rubbing his head
gently.
P-chan choked on his squeal. His porky face went red with anger. He
squirmed out of Akane's grasp and went out on a search for hot water.
"Yeah, Isamu got him to do it," Nabiki told Kasumi. "I don't know how, but
he did. There's no way Ranma would have done it on his own."
Kasumi nodded politely, not letting on that she knows. "I'm sure you'll
have lots of fun."
P-chan stomped away angrily. First he takes care of Ranma, then this Isamu.
===========
=PHASE 0II=
===========
Isamu looked in the mirror nervously. This was the seventh shirt he'd
tried on. He was thinking of what to do on this date. He was hoping Ranma
would be able to cover any faux pas he would make. Now that he thinks about
it, and judging from Ranma's reaction, it could have been a bad idea. Isamu
shook his head. "*Why don't they just admit that they like each other?*"
He said out loud. Maybe it's another one of those Japanese things. He
hoped Nabiki doesn't mind the company. He fumbled with his shirt a
little and put some fresh bandages on his bruises. Satisfied, he sat down
and tried to watched a little basketball.
------------------------------------------
Ranma was not nervous. He was beyond nervous. His dad wasn't helping.
He was actually going to go on a date with Akane. Somehow, he admitted to
himself, he was looking forward to this.
"-to carry on the School of Anything Goes Martial Arts!" Genma grinned
idiotically.
"It's just a date, Pop!" Ranma said, smoothing his shirt.
"Nevertheless," Genma said, handing him a small object. "Here. You never
know when you'll need it."
"Pop!" Ranma said, batting his dad's hand away.
"Take it!" Ordered Genma. Ranma snatched the object and put it in his
pocket.
"Fine, fine!" He said walking out the room. "I don't see why I'm gonna need
this thing," he grumbled. "I mean, It's Akane."
Genma watched his son go out their door. "Foolish boy! You should always
carry the 'Saotome Anything Goes School Guide for Making Women Fall in Love
With You' pocket edition on a date!" He said to no one in particular.
------------------------------------------
Nabiki was the picture of cool. Cool as ice. The Icewoman. Cool.
Of course, inside is a different story. Nabiki was just a tad nervous about
this date. She liked him. She was getting used to the idea of letting
other people know that she did. She turned, looking at herself in the
mirror at a different angle. He was a bit more open about his feelings.
Maybe it's a guy thing. But judging from Ranma, maybe not. Nabiki didn't
know what to expect on this date. Japanese he may be, but American he
definitely is. Although he does try, she smiled, fondling the necklace he
gave her. Oh well, what will be, will be.
------------------------------------------
"What about this one?"
"Isn't it just a little bit too frilly?" Akane asked her sister. Kasumi
looked critically at the one she was holding.
"You're right," said Kasumi. "Oh! That's perfect!" She said, looking up.
"You think so?" Akane turned uncertainly in front of the mirror.
"Oh yeah," Nabiki chimed, entering the room. "I love it. Especially since
it's mine."
Akane blushed a bit. "I didn't think you'd mind."
Nabiki smiled. "I don't. Honestly Akane, it looks wonderful on you."
She said, sitting down. "I might even let you keep it."
"For a fee," they all said together. Kasumi smiled as her sisters emitted
peals of laughter.
"It's almost eight," she said, standing up. "He should be coming any
minute."
--------------------------------------------------
Soun Tendo was crying. He had at least a hundred and fifty different ways
of doing so, running the whole gamut of human emotion. This was a
no. 34: Weeping for Joy.
"My babies!" He wept as they emerged from Akane's room. "Both- both so
grown up! You look beautiful! Don't they look beautiful Saotome?"
"Indeed Tendo!" Genma agreed. "As the saying goes, 'beautiful ladies bear
wonderful babies!'" He was about to say something else, but Ranma threw
him into the pond before he said it.
"Shut up, old man!" Ranma grumbled.
Soun switched to no. 22 (I'm Gonna Be a Grandpa!), wailed and hugged all his
daughters.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Isamu parked in front of the dojo. He spent a few minutes trying to calm
himself, but that didn't work so he got out and knocked on the gate.
----------------------------------------------------------
Genma sloshed out of the pond, raising a sign that said, [I'll get it].
There was a shriek and a crash. The Tendos and Ranma rushed out to find
Genma-panda with his sign around his head and a jittery-looking Isamu.
"Panda..." Isamu wheezed, his heart racing.
"Yo, Pops," said Ranma, tapping his father's furry cheek. "You ok? Pop?"
"Pop?" Isamu wheezed, then slapped his head. "Oh, that's right! Nabiki
told me about that!" He cried as he started to help up the gigantic panda.
"Are you all right? I'm very sorry, sir."
"He's fine, just fine." Said Soun, pushing the four out the door. "Now you
just have fun. Bye-bye!"
"Be careful!" Kasumi called as the gate closed with an apocalyptic bang.
===========
=PHASE III=
===========
After a brief discussion about driving in Japan, they all got in the car.
Akane and Ranma shared the backseat as Nabiki took shotgun.
"So," Isamu said nervously. "What do you want to do?"
"How about dinner first?" Nabiki suggested.
"Is that ok with you guys?" Isamu asked, looking in the rear view mirror.
Ranma and Akane sat nervously in the backseat. Akane apparently had great
interest in the view out the window while Ranma conducted a study on his
fingernails.
"Sure," Ranma said, looking up. "Akane?"
"Huh?" She said distractedly. "Oh, sure. Dinner."
"Any suggestions as to where?" Isamu asked.
"Well, there's that place we almost crashed into uh.. Wednesday? Or was
that yesterday?" Ranma said uncertainly.
"Which one? We almost crashed into a lot of places," Nabiki smirked.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Isamu protested. "I'm sorry!"
Akane laughed. The tension in the air lessened noticeably. "How about the
one where that one lady screamed 'Joy riding delinquents!'" She added.
"I think that was Ma Maison," Nabiki added.
"Oh! _That_ one!" Isamu laughed. "Ok, I think I know what you're
talking about. Next stop: Ma Maison."
-----------------------------------------------------------
By the time that the four entered the restaurant, the initial nervousness
was almost gone. Nabiki was surprised at just how well Ranma and Akane were
getting along. It must be the lack of pressure, she thought. They ordered,
chatting away while waiting for their food to arrive. They sat at a round
table, Ranma, Akane, Isamu, and Nabiki, in that order.
"I remember this guy," said Akane. "I was about 15. He thought he was the
cutest thing in the world. It was so annoying"
"Who?" Nabiki asked. "I don't remember this."
"C'mon," Akane teased. "You even went out with him once."
"Oh!" Nabiki smiled. "D.S. right?"
"Right!" Akane laughed.
"Oh yeah," Nabiki said, sipping her tea. "The man thought he was perfect.
He was cute though."
"Is this suppose to make us feel better?" Ranma asked. "Talking about other
guys?"
"Don't be so sensitive," Nabiki retorted. "How about you Isamu? Past
girlfriend problems?"
"Hey!" He said defensively. "We're on a date here!"
"Oh?" She said, sidling up to him, her face inches from his. Nabiki
expected him to shy away, them being in public and all. But Isamu gave her a
quick peck on the lips, making her pull away.
"Hah!" Ranma laughed. "He called you're bluff Nabiki."
"Shut up Ranma," Nabiki said, reddening slightly.
Akane grinned. She was having fun. For once, nothing bad seemed to be
going wrong.
--------------------------------------------------------
Tatewaki Kuno was not amused. How dare Saotome date with Akane Tendo?
He ran on, the power of love fueling his feet. Hentai must have added
his dark sorcery to Saotome's, enabling them to bend Akane to Saotome's
lecherous will. No matter. Sasuke had already appraised him of their
location, and Tatewaki Kuno shall soon sort out these villains.
--------------------------------------------------------
Kodachi ran on, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. She could see her brother
galloping slightly ahead of her on the ground. "That wicked girl!"
She fumed. "How dare she date with my Ranma darling?" She screamed
into the warm night air. "Akane Tendo, for this you shall pay!
OHHOHOHOHOHO!"
In the distance, a wolf choked on his howl, frightened by maniacal laughter.
-------------------------------------------------------
"RANMA GO WHERE?!?"
"Ranma is out with Akane," Kasumi said helpfully to Shampoo. "They went
out about twenty minutes ago."
Shampoo seethed. "Ok, Shampoo see you later," she said as she cycled
off into the night.
-------------------------------------------------------
There was a rustling, as of a fox trapped in a bush. Mousse emerged from
the hedges, his afro swaying in the breeze. Abhorrent though it may be,
he thought. It sure makes good camouflage. He turned around and took off
after Shampoo, jumping up to the rooftops to pace her. First, stealing
his Shampoo, then giving him this afro. Saotome will die.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ryoga ran. By pure coincidence he saw Akane looking out the window of a car.
She looked nervous, as if she had been terribly wronged. Then he saw Ranma.
He chased the car for a few blocks before he lost it. He had already smashed
two or three identical cars trying to find her. He skidded to a halt.
There she was! Nervously walking into a restaurant with Ranma, Nabiki and
the foreigner. Ryoga's eyes glowed red.
--------------------------------------------------------
Ranmaru Suzuka hunkered down into his jacket. He had been sent, grudgingly,
to guard this Hentaii person by his higher-ups in U.W.S.M.A.
"Guard this boy," they said, as they faxed him a photo. "We will
update you on his whereabouts in the usual manner."
---------------------------------------------------------
A world away, a spy reported.
"It is done, sir." He said, bowing deeply.
"Good," said the man and woman hidden in the shadows. "Our son's date must
be perfect."
---------------------------------------------------------
The inside of the restaurant dimmed automatically at nine o'clock. The
lights set in the middle of their table flared into life, casting a soft
glow on the four. They had been getting along surprisingly well.
"Cool," said Ranma. He glanced over at Akane, who smiled at him warmly.
"How's your order?" Akane asked, making small talk.
"It's kinda dry, but otherwise it's great," he replied. He looked at
Akane's plate. Ranma tried to think of something to say.
"Why ain'tcha eating? Normally you eat three times as much as this," said
Ranma, with all the delicacy of a mack truck.
Isamu swiveled his head sharply, abruptly cutting off what he was about to
say to Nabiki. Before Akane slammed Ranma into the ground, he grabbed
Ranma and hastily excused both of them.
Nabiki sipped her tea and sighed. Ranma and Akane where going along so
well before that, she thought. Of course there's nothing Ranma doesn't like
better than the taste of his own foot. She watched as Akane stabbed her
fork viciously into her veal.
"Relax, little sister."
"Relax?" Akane bristled, waving her knife around. "He basically told me
I eat like a pig!"
"Akane," Nabiki soothed, gently taking away Akane's knife and discreetly
moving all sharp objects away from her. "Aren't you used to it by now? He
always says things that he doesn't really mean." Nabiki sighed. "If you
both would stop being so pigheaded, you'd get along better."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Isamu dragged Ranma into the corner where telephones were. Ranma jerked
his arm away and looked at him crossly.
"What?"
"What the hell was that?" Isamu burst. "Do you think before you say
something?"
"Ahh," Ranma said dismissively. So what if he said she ate a lot?
It was true wasn't it? Ranma Saotome is never wrong.
"Rude, yet tactless," Isamu said. "At least don't ruin it for Nabiki and me.
We're doing fine."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Isamu and Ranma returned to the table. Akane looked mad, Ranma thought.
But also a little hurt. Was she-? He didn't really mean it. Isamu looked
at Nabiki who directed his attention to his companion. Ranma looked like he
realized he had done something wrong.
"Excuse us," Nabiki said, standing up as Ranma sat down. She hooked Isamu's
arm and started walking away. "We need to talk for a sec."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"I need back up!" Ranmaru yelled into his cellular. "I swear, either this
kid's got a _wonderful_ personality or this restaurant has a lot of
dissatisfied customers."
Ranmaru wished he could slam a cellular. The best he could do was switch
it off angrily. The idiot with the wooden sword was good. Lucky for me I've
got a taser built into my phone, he thought.
"Aha! So there you are! For hurting my brother dear, you shall pay!"
Kodachi shouted, whipping her ribbon lazily in the air.
Ranmaru froze as she emitted a bloodcurdling laugh and attacked.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Akane and Ranma sat for ten minutes in silence. Akane was cutting
her meal into little shredded pieces as Ranma inspected every inch of
the ceiling.
"He'll never apologize," Isamu groaned, peering from behind a potted plant.
"No, I don't think so either," Nabiki nodded in agreement.
"How's the date going?" He asked, turning away from Akane and Ranma for a
moment.
"Huh?"
"Ours, I mean."
"Well," Nabiki started. "The company's a little on the stiff side, but the
food is nice."
He smiled at her. "Do you know they call you the Ice Queen? Right now I see
why."
"Moi?" She said, an expression of mock innocence settled on her face.
"Oh, please," Isamu rolled his eyes. "Innocence doesn't become you."
She hit him in the arm, then hushed him. "Wait, I think they're about to
talk."
"He looks meek enough," Isamu said after awhile. "I bet he's gonna
apologize."
"I'll take you up on that bet."
------------------------------------------------------------------
"Are (duck) you (dodge) _sure_ EEP! that you've YOW! never heard of us?"
Ranmaru said as he was pelted by numerous gymnastic assault projectiles.
"No!" Kodachi shouted, unleashing another barrage of clubs. Ranmaru ducked
behind a trash bin. His reinforcements had come. Unfortunately, she had
taken care of most of them already. Her clubs had knocked ten
U.W.S.M.Artists down in as many minutes. Only him, Shinobi from Kitchen U's,
Wataru from Menswear, And a strange metallic midget who looked like he was
from armor division were left. He readied his weapon, extending the
phone antenna to its full length. He took a couple of deep breaths,
waited for a pause in her attack, and ran away.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranmaru called for backup.
The UWSMA database spilled out all currently available agents on the field and
gave their orders. They had valiantly charged to the scene and fought the
good fight.
However, there was one more. Maybe she was late (stupid bus). Maybe she
got lost trying to get there (stupid lousy directions from the home office).
But they deemed her worthy to enter the fray and she heeded the call.
She arrived at the scene of the battle, surprised at the many other fellow
UWSMA members who were knocked out. Fuji from the Automotive branch, Eiji
from the Gardening division, and many others, all taken out of the fight.
There was a noise. She looked around to see a boy in Chinese garb
streaking across the rooftops. But that wasn't what she was focusing on.
It was big. It was bushy.
It was the biggest afro she'd ever seen in her life.
Kyoko Muhoshin, age 11, of the Hair Care division of the UWSMA,
grinned maniacally, whipped out her titanic shears, and charged...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Where _are_ those two?
Ranma's hands were sweating. He found that he had run out of other
things to look at and was forced to look at her. Akane was still giving
him dagger looks, but there was a hurt look behind it too.
"Akane," he said nervously. She responded by throwing her knife at him.
"Hey!" Ranma shouted, just barely catching the blade.
"It wouldn't have broken through your fat head anyway," said Akane,
crossing her arms.
Ranma glared at her and was about to say something very stupid when Nabiki
and Isamu came back.
"I don't believe you two," Nabiki said exasparated. "Aren't you tired of
fighting?"
Isamu decided to hang back. This looked like a family kind of thing.
"No!" Ranma growled. "I don't care about her anyway!"
"Ranma," Nabiki said smiling. "You fool. You just gave yourself away.
No one was talking about you caring about her."
Ranma glared at her. "I was just saying that I don't."
"Oh, you don't?" Asked Nabiki.
"No I don't!" Ranma said, crossing his arms.
"Who cares?" Akane said, uncrossing hers. "I don't care about him either."
"That's good, because I don't care about you."
"You already said that!" Akane said.
"So you don't mind if I do this?" Isamu said suddenly, pressing up to Akane
and kissing her full in the mouth.
----------------------------------------------------------------
There was a darkness. Unfamiliar and disconcerting. Mousse woke up.
"Where-?"
"It didn't work Mr. Mousse," Kyoko pouted.
What didn't? Mousse wondered. Memory flooded back. He met
her on the rooftop. She was carrying the biggest pair of shears
he had ever seen a 11-year old wield. She told him that she was
part of some unorthodox martial arts school. After the initial mixup,
they got along quite well. All he was interested in was her willingness
to chop his hair off. All she was interested in was his willingness to
let her chop his hair off.
"I tried everything!" Kyoko stomped. "Your stupid hair
broke my favorite pair of scissors!"
Mousse looked around. Pieces of a gigantic pair of scissors, and
an electric razor the size of a lawnmower lay about.
"What knocked me out?" He asked.
"This," she replied, lifting a gigantic pearl-handed razor. there was
an afro-shaped dent in the blade.
------------------------------------------------------
Ranma's reaction was immediate. Isamu was sent sprawling across the room,
landing on his head. Ranma ran quickly up to him and whacked him hard
for good measure. Isamu's head lolled as Ranma hefted him up into
the air.
"Jerk! Whatcha do that for?" He shouted angrily as restaurant patrons
scattered about.
"Not.... the actions..... of a man... who doesn't... care about a girl.....
eh?" Isamu grinned, his mouth bloody.
Akane and Nabiki were transfixed by the scene. Akane was in shock. Isamu
kissed her! But that wasn't the shocking part. The ferocity that Ranma
showed was. Does he..... does he really care? Nabiki was shocked.
Part of her mind was applauding the ingenuity of his action while
the other half was seething mad about him kissing his sister. They watched
as Ranma slowly dropped him on the floor. He looked around, a lot of
people saw what he did. Murmurs of "Noisy kids", "I would've punched him
too", "The guy on the ground's right!","He really does care", "That didn't
look like a very good kiss", and "Pass the ketchup. By the way, Ranma
should've kicked that guy around a bit more" filtered across the room.
Isamu wiped the corner of his mouth with his sleeve as the manager started
approaching them. "Well?" He asked as he tossed his wallet to the manager.
"Pick a card," he told the bewildered manager and turned back to Ranma.
"I... all right. I care."
"Don't tell me, man," he said, patting Ranma's shoulder and pointing
towards Akane. Ranma shrugged off his arm. "Tell her."
Ranma walked slowly towards Akane. Nabiki stepped away from her sister and
walked towards her date. He was rubbing a tall glass of ice to the corner
of his mouth. She elbowed him in the ribs, hard. "We'll talk. Later."
She said, in a tone that made the bartender behind Isamu grunt in sympathy.
"Akane?" Ranma said, shuffling his feet nervously.
"I could've taken care of him myself," Akane said, looking at him defiantly.
"Wh- after what I did you-? Fine!" Ranma yelled, then stopped. He sighed.
"I'm tired of this Akane."
"So am I," Akane whispered.
"So what do we do?"
"Not much," she said, barely above a whisper. "We're engaged."
"Is that so bad?!" Nabiki yelled from where she stood, startling the whole
eavesdropping crowd.
They both glared at her.
"I... I guess not." She smiled at him. They both looked over to where
Isamu and Nabiki were. Nabiki gave them the victory sign, while Isamu
continued icing his mouth.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranmaru groaned. He knew that there were over 200 bones in the body. Right
now he was in direct communication with most of them. They finally subdued
Kodachi and were trying to decide what to with her. Wataru suggested that
they just leave her trussed up in her own ribbons, but somehow Ranmaru felt
that that would make her hunt them down once she got out.
"I'm telling you," the metallic midget hissed. "I am a laboratory mouse
in a robotic martial arts armor here to take over the world!" In halting
Japanese.
"Yeah, yeah," Wataru waved him off dismissively. "But how do you suggest
we deal with her?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ryoga didn't think he could get lost crossing the street, but he managed
to do it anyway. The time spent lost didn't help his already not-so-sunny
disposition. He was about to charge into the restaurant when he spotted
four men who had Kodachi tied up. Various other men and a large amount
of junk was strewn about.Much as he was scared of her, Ryoga didn't think
the men were up to any good. All right, he thought to himself. First these
guys, then Ranma, then the foreigner.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh, shoot!" Ranmaru groaned as they avoided this newcomer's
attack, he also spotted the sword guy groggily getting up. He was
asking for overtime pay for this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Isamu came out of the restaurant last, nursing a swollen lip.
"Hey, isn't that Ryoga?" Akane asked, peering at the fighting figures.
"And Kuno?"
"And that's definitely Kodachi," Ranma shivered as maniacal laughter
filled the air. "Think we should help?"
They all looked at each other.
"Nah," said Nabiki, heading for the car.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"So what do we do now?" Isamu asked as he got onto the freeway.
"Just drive," said Nabiki a little grouchily, rolling down the window.
She watched as the guy driving in the next lane smiled at her.
"What about you, Akane?" Isamu asked trying to mend fences.
"Any suggestions?"
"I'm still not talking to you," Akane said.
"I'm sorry! I really am!"
"Let'er calm down a little," whispered Ranma.
"How come you never did?"
"I just thought about it." Ranma answered. "Besides, I don't want her
getting to you before I do."
"You mean I'm still not forgiven?"
"Nuh uh," Ranma said evilly. "Not by a long shot."
Isamu laughed nervously. This may not be the perfect date, but
it sure was interesting.
"Hey," Akane, who was idly thinking of new and painful techniques to
introduce to Isamu, sat up suddenly. "Exit here."
"Huh? Why?" Asked Ranma.
"Ukyo said there was a really good club around here."
"Ok," Isamu said. "Hey, do any of you remember the Name Game?"
He asked after a while.
"What?" Asked Ranma.
"It was this song, you know."
"Oh yeah," Nabiki said after digging in her memory a bit.
"Why'd you think of it?"
"Oh I was just remembering how hard it was to do my name," he smiled.
"I don't remember this," Ranma said, scratching his head.
"Let's try Ranma!" Isamu shouted. "RANMA RANMA
BOBANMA BONANABANA BOBANMA FEE FI MOMANMA! RANMA!"
"Stop!" Akane laughed despite herself. She still wanted to exact
some sort of revenge on him, but for now......
They sang as they drove into the Friday night.
------------------------------------------
Jamie Madrox sat in his hotel room reading a Japanese language book.
.....and listened to a Japanese 'how to' audio tape.
.....and watched a Japanese language tape
.....and took a Japanese language fluency test.
It's nice to be me, he thought.
--------------------------------------------
Jamie Madrox smiled at Isamu's date and watched them exit the highway.
"Boy, are you in for a surprise."
---------------------------------------------
Jusenkyo, China.........
"*Stop Mulder!*"
"*I can't help it! every time this hand gets wet-!*"
"*Goddamn it! I swear I'll sue you for sexual harrasment!*"
"*Scully!*" Mulder whined.
============
=PHASE 0IV=
============
"Ladies and gentleman," Isamu announced. "We are now officially lost."
"Great," Ranma said, slouching. Akane looked at him and poked him in the
arm. The tension in the air was almost gone, but not quite.
"It's not that bad," she told him.
"How is it not that bad?"
"He's not Ryoga."
Nabiki burst out laughing. "That boy could get lost walking a straight
line!"
"What's this?" Isamu asked.
"You know Ryoga, right?" Akane asked, he nodded. "Well for some reason,
he just can't ever seem to get where he wants to go."
Ranma snickered. "I heard he got lost in the Nekohanten once."
"Yeah? What about when he's a pfmmghg--!" He said as Ranma hastily covered
his mouth.
"When he's a what?" Akane asked as she leaned forward.
"She doesn't know," Ranma urgently whispered.
"Nothing," Isamu smiled, embarrassed.
Akane looked like she was about to push the issue but changed her mind.
"Hey," Nabiki quipped. "I think I see some lights."
"All right," grinned Isamu. "The Megami Club?"
"Yeah, that's the one!"
----------------------------------------------------------
They walked in, welcomed by a throng of bodies and a solid wall of music.
Ranma looked a bit uneasy, Nabiki thought. Isamu bobbed his head to the
music.
"Cool music!" He shouted above the din.
"Yeah! Wanna dance?" Shouted Nabiki.
"I'm not a very good dancer," he said a little less loudly as his ears
adjusted to the music.
"That's ok," said Nabiki, dragging him into the center. "I am."
----------------------------------------------------------
Jamie Madrox danced with a pink-haired girl.
"Cool hair!" He shouted as they danced.
"Thanks!" The girl smiled, doing some unexplainably
feline looking moves.
"What's your name?" He shouted.
"Nuku Nuku!" She grinned.
----------------------------------------------------------
"C'mon, Ryu!" Ken said, looking around happily as the Megami Club surged
with people. "Can't you have fun for once?"
"The fight is all."
"Bull! You weren't always like this man!" Ken said, putting an arm around
his friend's shoulders. "We're in Nerima, we're drinking Miller Lite, life
is good!"
"I was always like this!"
Ken pulled out his wallet. "I've got pictures of you in a-"
"Gimme those!"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Akane and Ranma stood together at the bar. "You wanna dance?" Ranma asked
over the noise.
"I guess." Akane replied. "I don't know this dance though."
"Neither do I," Ranma grinned as they jostled their way into the center
of the fray.
----------------------------------------------------------
Jamie Madrox danced with a blonde.
"Hi! I'm Jamie!" He shouted. "What's your name?"
"Cammy!" She said, doing a very complicated turn.
---------------------------------------------------------
"Hey Ataru! This is great!" Said Megane, entering the club.
"Yeah! And best of all, no Lum!"
Megane thumped him solidly in the back of the head. "Don't say that
about Mistress Lum!"
--------------------------------------------------------
Isamu made some room for him and Nabiki, but mostly Nabiki. Nabiki let
loose with the most complicated of moves effortlessly. The way she gyrated
transfixing a radius of admiring male eyes, to the annoyance of their
female counterparts. Isamu just tried to get out of her way.
He spotted Akane and Ranma in one of the rougher parts of the floor. He had
avoided that part because he saw some moshing going on, but Ranma and Akane
were taking care of business just fine. They spiraled their way near Isamu
and Nabiki as Isamu ducked one of Nabiki's flailing limbs.
"Wow," Ranma admired. "I didn't think she could move like that."
"You two are no slouches either," Isamu laughed as he watched their trail of
fallen bodies struggling to get up.
Akane kept on dancing, flashing her smile on everybody. She bumped into a
girl in a provocative red dress. Akane was immediately envious of the girl's
proportions.
"Sorry!"
"That's ok," the girl said. "Good moves. Have you seen my boyfriend?"
She asked, looking around.
"What does he look like?" Akane asked, still dancing.
"Andy! Never mind, I see him. Hey Andy!" She bounced away.
Akane rubbed her eyes. She could swear there were sparks
of flame trailing the bountiful young woman.
"Bye!" Akane said turning back. Nabiki had finished her dance to
applauses and cheers. She headed for the bar for a breather.
"Hello. I am Shutaro Mendo," said a handsome young man in
white to Nabiki. "Allow me to have this dance?"
Akane noticed that Ranma and Isamu were admiring the woman
who _bounced_ away and fetched them a right smack on the head.
"What are you two looking at?"
-------------------------------------------------------
Madrox danced with a brunette.
"What's your name?" He asked, bobbing his head this way
and that
"Madoka!" Smiled his partner.
-----------------------------------------------------
"Akemi! Wait up!"
"Hurry up! Mr. Yotsuya, Mrs. Ichinose, the bar's this way!"
"What do you think of this place, Kyoko?"
"I've never been here before, Yusaku. Where's Shun?"
"Running from Mr. Soichiro."
-----------------------------------------------------
"You wanna go to a party?" He asked Chun.
-----------------------------------------------------
"You wanna go to a party?" He asked Hitomi
----------------------------------------------------
"I'm gonna have to ask my dad first," Nuku Nuku replied.
"I'm only three you know."
----------------------------------------------------
"No! I don't want to dance with you! Ataaruuuu!" Shouted
a green haired girl at Madrox.
------------------------------------------------------
Some distance away, Ataru choked on his drink. "Oh god, she's here."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Can you guys send an ambulance or something?" Ranmaru said on his
cellular. "We're really hurting here."
Twenty other prone bodies groaned in agreement.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Kunos were madder than ever.
"You may have delayed me like spring before summer," Kuno growled as he
searched the endless streets. "But you, Saotome, shall surely feel the
heavenly vengeance of Tatewaki Kuno!"
Kodachi leaped ahead of her brother. "Ranma darling, where are you?"
"I've found them!" Shouted Sasuke, leaping down from a building.
"Lead on, faithful servant!" Kuno yelled. "The full force of mine anger
shall surely-"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ryoga ran twice as fast, twice as hard. Fighting those fools took too long.
Where are they?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Shampoo crashed into another restaurant, her maces swinging wildly.
She grabbed a nearby hapless waiter.
"Where Ranma?" She demanded.
"I...I don't know what you're talking about."
She tossed him down and ran through another wall. "RANMA! I KILL!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Mousse's hatred for Saotome grew stronger by the minute. Watching his
beloved Shampoo run frantically across town made it flare brighter in his
heart. Saotome, he thought grimly, pray I don't get my hands on you first.
-------------------------------------------------------------
"C'mon!"
"No way!" Isamu said, laughing as he tried to pry his arm from Nabiki's
grasp.
"Do it! Ranma did it with Akane!"
"So how is it that I gotta do it by myself?" He said holding his microphone.
"Because I already sang a song that's why."
They had hit a few more clubs after the Megami. They were at a Karaoke bar,
populated by hundreds of patrons.
"This is embarrassing!" He hissed.
"Ranma did it!" She pointed to where Akane and Ranma were sitting. They
raised their glasses to him.
"But he was in girl-form! That's different!"
"Just pick one!" She said, walking back to their table.
Isamu looked out into the crowd. People were good-naturedly cheering and
clapping. Others were just ignoring him, like they ignored everybody who
got up on stage. He wished there were more of the latter than the former.
He looked down the touch screen in front of him. Damn! It's in Kanji! He
groaned inwardly. He steadied himself and touched the song title that he
read as 'Being Japanese.'
The first few notes came out. He smiled. He knew this song. The rock
guitar swung into action as he readied himself. One, two, one, two, three,
four...
"I THINK I'M TURNING JAPANESE
I THINK I'M TURNING JAPANESE
I REALLY THINK SO
I'M TURNING JAPANESE
I THINK I'M TURNING JAPANESE........."
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Drive, drive drive!" Ranma shouted as they piled into the car.
Tires squealed as the bloodthirsty mob just narrowly missed them.
Nabiki was laughing while both Ranma and Akane imitated Isamu.
"I think I'm turning Japanese," Akane sang as she collapsed in laughter.
"I'm sorry!" Isamu pleaded. "It sounded like it! I thought it was-! I
didn't think-"
"That's right," Nabiki smirked. "You didn't. I've never seen a
bloodthirsty mob before."
"You obviously don't live my life," Ranma smiled.
They speeded down the highway, the girls sitting in the back.
"Hey," Ranma said. "What does this button do?"
"Press it," Isamu shrugged.
The roof folded and tucked itself into the trunk. The stars in the sky
winked at them from a distance. The lights of the city streamed around them.
"Cool," Isamu grinned.
"Home?" Akane asked.
"Home," they agreed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma and Akane stood in front of Akane's room in the predawn hours of the
day. He smiled at her awkwardly.
"I still wanna get him back," Ranma said. "For kissing you like that."
"Go right ahead," she smiled.
"You'll let me take care of everything?"
"Well," Akane said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Not everything. But
I'll leave Isamu to you."
Ranma looked around. "You know, Nabiki hasn't come up yet. You think-?"
"I think Nabiki is a very strong-willed person," Akane said looking around.
"She can take care of herself."
"So," he said, leaning in.
"So," she said, leaning in.
"HAPPY DAYS SAOTOME! HAPPY DAYS INDEED!" Soun shouted,
bursting out of his room with a camera. Kasumi came out of hers with party
streamers as Genma patted his son's back with his paw.
"Tru- truly," he sobbed (no. 25: My Youngest Daughter Has Just Come Home
>From a Very Successful First Date With Her Fiancee Whom I Picked). "We are
lucky parents."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Well," Nabiki said, breaking their kiss.
"Why, Ms. Tendo," he smiled.
"Yes, Mr. Hentaii?"
"Am I to assume that I shall be privileged of your company once again in
the future?"
"I'll consider your suggestion carefully," she said smiling. "Can we
leave the lovebirds at home?"
"If you wish."
"Then I shall consider your suggestions most carefully," she said,
kissing him again. "Good night."
Isamu smiled blissfully as the taste of her lips lingered long after she had
closed the gate. He looked wistfully at his watch. Four o'clock? And it's
_today_ is it? What better present indeed. He walked over to where
parked his car. Today, he thought, is my --
Kuno.
Kodachi.
Ryoga.
Shampoo.
Mousse.
They encircled him.
"I, the great Tatewaki Kuno, defeater of mages such as yourself, consider
it to be the height of uncouthliness to attack one's foe in his domicile
in the night. On the other hand, foes that are out on the street,
whatever time it may be, are fair game."
"You put my Ranma darling up to this didn't you?" Kodachi cried.
"I shall make you pay!"
"You told Ranma to take Akane out on date," Shampoo smoldered. "You I
KILL!"
"Because of you, Akane and Ranma are that much closer. Putting Akane that
much farther from me," growled Ryoga, advancing.
"Saotome, for what you have caused," Mousse shouted as he whipped out some
blades from his 'fro. "You will DIE!"
They charged him as one.
"*OH, SH-*"
------------------------------------------------------------------
'Nimaii-kun' was surprised, morphing back into his human form.
There were so many things he could be! What should he be next?
=======================================
===============THE END=================
=======================================
AUTHOR'S ENDNOTES =)
Well, as far as the story goes, this is the end.
But not really.
I know I left a lot of threads hanging. Like that damn Okonomiyaki monster
and the Cameos that keep popping up. That'll all _probably_ be done in a
follow up tentatively called RESOLUTIONS: THE EIGHTH DAY.
--------------
I swear, this wasn't my idea. This is a rather STUPID place to put
THE END, isn't it? Dammit all, this is ridiculous. Damn, damn, damn.
screw this. This AIN'T the end. I ain't letting it be the end!
-Editor Rod
--------------
------------------------------
FOR ALL YOU SOUN TENDO FANS!!!
------------------------------
Maybe you didn't know, but each single crying frenzy of Soun Tendo actually
has a meaning behind it. Here, for the first time, is...
AN INCOMPLETE LIST OF SOUN TENDO WAILS
1. There is a Bright Light
2. Someone is Spanking My Bottom
3. I'm Hungry
4. He Hit Me
43. I'm Getting Married
105. The Master Has Left Without Paying And I Am Stuck Putting Ladies
Unmentionables on Manequins
109. The Master Has Left Without Paying And I Am Going to
Be Stuck Washing Dishes For Three Days
117. I Just Killed My Master
120. Dinner Was Great
127. My Oldest Daughter Is Born And I Have No Cigarettes To Celebrate With
129. My Wife Yelled At Me
160. My Youngest Daughter Yelled At Me
182. My Best Friend And His Son Are Coming Here Today
201. My Best Friend's Son Who He Has Promised to Marry to One of My Daughters
is a Girl
202. My Best Friend is a Panda
234. My Daughter's Fiancee Is Having An Affair With A Chinese Girl
243. My Daughter Turned Into A Duck
246. My Daughter Isn't A Duck After All
265. My Master Isn't Dead
281. My Dojo Is Being Destroyed By Daughters I Didn't Even Know I Had
287. I Have To Repair The Dojo Again
305. Akane Has Been Kidnapped
317. Akane Cooked Dinner And I'm Suffering From Food Poisoning
322. My Daugher And Her Fiancee Are Finally Liking Each Other
348. My Daughter And Her Fiancee Hate Each Other
385. The Cost Of Repairing The Dojo Is Killing Me
394. Nabiki's Bill Is Killing Me
401. The Cost Of Feeding Those Two Leeching Houseguests Is Killing Me
412. Akane Has Been Kidnapped Again
-------------------------------------------------
Etc. Editorial Stuffs:
The song Isamu was singing at the bar?
"Turning Japanese" by the Vapours. It was a small hit in the 80's
here in the states.
It goes like this...
Turning Japenese
by The Vapours
-------------------------------
I've got a picture of me and you,
you wrote 'I love you', I wrote 'Me too'
I keep on staring at it there's nothing else to do
Oh, it's in colour, your hair is brown,
your eyes are hazel, and soft as clouds
I often kiss it when there's no-one else around
I've got your picture, I've got your picture,
I'd like a million of them all to myself,
I want a doctor to take your picture
so I can look at you from inside as well
you've got me turning up and turning down
I'm turning and turning 'round
<chorus>
I'm turning Japenese I think I'm turning Japenese I really think so.
Turning Japenese I think I'm turning Japenese I really think so.
Turning Japenese I think I'm turning Japenese I really think so.
Turning Japenese I think I'm turning Japenese I really think so.
No sex no drugs wine no women
you fun no sin no you no wonder it's dark
everyone around me is a total stranger
everyone avoids me like a psyched Lone Ranger, everyone
<chorus variation etc etc>
--------------------------------
don't blame me, I didn't write the song....
This has been
an
=M= Productions
production