Hmm.....  IMHO, you've got kinda "angst cotton candy" in there.  It seems 
like angst, it looks like angst, but when you flip the page, it's not 
really angst.  Just my $0.00000001 yen, but that's the effect I'm 
seeing.  If you're going for it, that's great, but if you're trying to 
throw angst in there, it's close but not quite there yet.

Frank


On Tue, 5 Dec 1995, RpM-acct2/5 wrote:

Angst!!!  Part 3 definitely needed more angst.  The token angst scenes 
were really good, but I think needed to carry on longer.

RPM:  There's not enough flat-out comedic fanfics out there.  That's what
      Nigel here is tryin to do...  although there _had_ to be angst
      somewhere...
NDM:  I'm not good at angst.
RPM:  I am, but I feel stupid writing it anyways....