This was posted to the Ranma List. It should not have been, so here you
go.
--
OCS-IRC
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 10 Nov 1995 16:19:34 -0500 (EST)
From: paladin <paladin@mars.superlink.net>
To: ranma@usagi.jrd.dec.com
Subject: FanFic: Ranma Fever(non-lemon pt1)
Started:10/10/95
Last update:11/8/95
WARNING!!! This part DOESN'T contain any adult subject material!
To get the lemon part of this story see "Author's Notes". If
you're offended by this kinda stuff or sick of Ranma FanFics
(Lemon or otherwise) or underage you really shouldn't be reading
this anyway... okay sure keep reading! Just ignore me! Why should
I care if you get offended then flame me! Come'on, gimme a break,
if you're underage I said to STOP READING! Jeez, like you're really
going to listen to me. Aw doesn't anyone ever read these sections,
or do they just skip over it? Well if you've gotten through that
(or have just plain ignored it) On With The FanFic!
.......Distribute With Discretion.......
Ranma Lemonade Punch #1: "Ranma Fever"
by Paladin
"Ah, what a peaceful day. Eh Saotome?",said a blissful
Soun as he drank sake with his long time friend, Genma Saotome.
The kids were still at school, Ryouga had been lost for a week,
Happousai was out on a panty run and wouldn't be back till night,
and the weather was perfect.
"Indeed, Tendo.", Genma looked thoughtful for a moment,
"Too peaceful...". With that he dumped a pail of cold water on
his head and disappeared behind a bush. After some rustling Panda
re-emerged with a pith-helmet on and pillows strapped about his
body.
"Eh? What are you doing my friend?"
Panda held up a sign: "Preparing."
"For wha-"
"YAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!", screamed Ranma as he burst through
the door slamming into Soun and jumping on Panda's head. Panda
sign: "See?". Ranma ran around the dojo as Akane chased him with
a giant wooden mallet, dodging the blows and spouting poor attempts
at apology.
"I didn't mean it that -YAH!- way! I just meant -whoops
missed me- that your hips are durable! YOW! THAT HURT! OF
COURSE THEY'RE DURABLE! THEY'RE AS THICK AS-"
"YOUR HEAD!", with that Akane slammed Ranma through a wall
into the Tendo garden pond. The mallet mysteriously disappeared
as Akane sniffled and ran to her room.
"HEY! WHATCHA DO THAT FOR! IT WAS A COMPLEMENT!", cried
a feminine Ranma-chan. "Jeez, she's always so sensitive. That's
just 'bout the only thing feminine about that Macho Chick...
oh hiya pop!", Ranma greeted a seething Genma.
"Raaaannnnma! Akane is your fiancee, what did you do this
time boy?!? Until I know that and you apologize to Akane, no hot
water for you!"
"Hey, it's not my fault! I even said she'd be a good
mother..."
-=-=-
Akane stared at the ceiling as she thought about earlier
that day. She was heading out the door of health class when Ranma
caught her and pulled her back into the room. They had just learned
about the rigors and joys of birth.
-=-=-
"Akane... I just wanted to tell you that I think you could
be a great mother...", Ranma had sounded dead serious. Akane's
heart leapt.
<Mo...ther.... Could it be? Does he really want to have
children with me? Does this mean he might actually lo-> Akane
hadn't noticed that her eyes began to glimmer, and that this made
him nervous. Having a crowd of whispering, giggling, and pointing
girls didn't help him much either.
"I mean, with hips that wide, you could give birth to a
bus and barely feel it!", he yelled trying to recover. Akane felt
a stab in her chest and then a heat rose to her cheeks which quickly
turned into fire.
"RAAAAANNNNNMAAAAAA NO BAAAKAAA!", Akane screamed, smashing
Ranma through several walls. In her fury Akane didn't notice the
tears going down her cheeks.
-=-=-
"That JERK! I HATE HIM! Every time we might get close
he has to do something stupid!", a sad thought came to her and
momentarily stopped her fury, <or I do something clumsy... could
it be all *my* fault?>. Akane clenched her fists and refueled her
anger, "What do *I* care?!? Why should I care what that perverted
jerk thinks of me!!!" The soft thought came <Because I love him...>
again the anger subsided. Akane flipped over and quietly sobbed
into her pillow.
-=-=-
"Thanks for the water and ramen Shampoo!", Ranma yelled as
he left. <Stupid old man... heh heh. Thinks he can keep me from
getting hot water.> As Ranma rounded the corner he was greeted by
the sight of Ryouga carrying a pail of water.
"Greetings Ranma! Your old man said you might try something
like this... told me to be prepared. YAAAAA!", Ryouga yelled as
he dove forward.
"I don't have time for this you jerk, I'm late for dinner!"
Ranma crouched then flipped backwards and kicked the pail upwards.
"SQUEEEEEE! Oink! Grrrrrreee!" Ranma laughed and mock
saluted the transformed Ryouga.
"See ya later, P-Chan!"
-=-=-
Ranma was panting by the time he got home. His father has
enlisted the help of all the weirdoes in town to keep him in his
girl form. He had evaded all of them but it wasn't easy, everywhere
he turned he saw another person carrying a pail of water.
He sneaked into the house trying to avoid his father.
As he passed the kitchen he saw Kasumi cooking in the kitchen.
<Kasumi too nice to turn me in, I might even be able to get her
to keep some heated water for me, just in case.>
"Um, hi Kasumi, seen my Dad around?"
"He's with Father in the garden."
"Thanks... uh, could you keep some water on the stove for
me? You know, hot water?"
"Ranma, I could never go against your father's wishes...
Besides, I think you should make up with Akane too."
"That tomboy! No way! Thanks anyway."
"RAAAANNNNMA!", Genma was enraged.
"Yipes!"
"What are you doing in that form! You are being punished!
If you cannot take the punishment, then apologize to Akane!"
Mr. Saotome chased Ranma all throughout the house with a
pail of cold water. "Yahhh! Stop it you old fool!"
-=-=-
Ranma crawled into his room. He had managed to trick
Genma, and escaped... barely. <Jeez, how could a lazy looser like
Dad have so much energy when it come to punishing/training me?!?>
He started crawling to his bed when he ran into a pair of legs.
"YAAHHH!", he yelled. Then calmed realizing it was only
Nabiki.
"Oh.<pant,pant> I thought it was someone else. I mean
Dad and those weirdoes chasing me everywhere with cold wa-*<SPLASH>*!"
"HEEEYYY!!", cried Ranma-chan.
"Sorry Ranma-baby, but for a dead-beat, no-job leech your
Dad pays pretty well when it comes to punishment! Of course it's
always negotiable....", Nabiki dangled a steaming kettle in front
of him.
"I so tired... all right, I'll pay."
"Good boy... here you go, nice hot water." Ranma greedily
grabbed the kettle and poured.
"Thanks Nabiki, you don't know how good it is to be a
guy again. I mean-*<SPLASH>*... HEY!!! Y-YOU... YOU!"
"Sorry Ranma, but your Dad paid in advance for just such
an occasion... you know he's really quite thorough with it comes to
punishment... of course it's all negotiable..."
"GET OUT OF HERE!!! NOW!!!!"
"My, my, aren't we overreacting a little bit? See ya later."
Smiled and exited, leaving a wet, fuming, and female Ranma.
-=-=-
"Stupid tomboy... I didn't even mean it... I wouldn't ever
really mean it... I", Ranma stopped herself, "Aw what do I care!
All that macho chick ever does is beat me on the head! Now I'm
stuck as a girl cause of her." She had been moved by the joys of
birth lesson in health and for once tried to say what she felt to
Akane... but that stupid girl had to over-react, all those other
girls laughing... that stupid, stupid, stupid girl. She tossed
another pebble into the pond as her mind began to wander...
<Aw stop insulting her you jerk! It's your own fault, you
always tease her when you feel open.>
<But she doesn't have to take it so hard!>
<It hurts the most to be insulted by one you love.>
<Wha-!?! Love?!?>
<You know it's true, but you always keep a barrier between
you two. If you were a real man you'd let down your
defenses and apologize.>
<I... I can't... I... aw, what the hell! I'll apologize,
but only because I need some hot water.>
<You know that's not the only reason... you love her.>
<...>
It often scared him that when he was a girl his thoughts
would take on two sides and that they sometimes argued. He was
thankful that his male side remained dominant and in control...
most of the time.
"Guess I should go see Akane." Ranma got up and jumped
off the roof. <This time, I'll use the door. Every time I use
her window, I end up falling two stories and landing on my face.>
He knocked softly. "Akane? You in there?" No answer. She tried
the knob and found it unlocked. Entering quietly, she found
Akane sleeping on her side, still in her uniform.
Ranma pulled a chair next to the bed, sat there and watched
her for a moment. <She really is cute...> She was shocked when
she realized she was gently stroking her face with the back of her
hand. She began to pull it away when Akane stirred an held Ranma's
hand to her face. Unconsciously she mumbled, "Ran...ma..".
Ranma tried to pull away again but her grip was too firm,
she couldn't do it without waking her. Akane began to stir even
more, yawned slowly, and her eyes fluttered open. She looked up
at Ranma and smiled... then blushed when she realized she was
clutching Ranma's hand to her chest in an embarrassing position.
Ranma was frozen in terror. <She hasn't realized yet.
Any second now it'll reach her brain... 3... 2... 1... Contac->
"RANMA! YOU PERVERT!", her fist swung around to break
her head when she stopped short. She realized that even though
the thought had reached her brain, her hand still held hers to
one of her breasts. Akane's mind told her to let go, but she
kept Ranma's hand there. Ranma saw the confused look in Akane's
eyes and started to speak.
"Akane..." Akane put a finger to his lips. She didn't
know why, but she closed her eyes and slowly drew her face to
his. <I should stop... but this feels right...> <We're going
to do it... but I never dreamed I'd kiss her as a girl.> Their
faces were centimeters apart when- *<SMASH>*
"HAPPOUSAI!!! I HEEEERREEEE!!!!", screamed a little old
man as he smashed through the ceiling of Akane's room. <Couldn't
he wait one minute! Just one fucking minute!> A pissed off
Ranma-chan cased after him. <Wow... I was really going to kiss
Ranma.... as a girl?>
"HAPPOUSAI YOU JERK! GET BACK HERE!", yelled Ranma
chasing after the old man.
"HAPPOUSAI WHERE ARE YOU!?!" The little man demolished
walls as he ran through the Tendo household. It's inhabitants
left their rooms to see the what the commotion was about.
"Damn! I was told he was here!", muttered the man to
himself. He didn't notice Ranma's incoming foot. *<BLAP>*
Standing on the old man's head, "What's the meaning of this
Happousai? And where's your panty bag?" The old man threw
Ranma off himself flipped backward and dusted himself off.
"Ahhh. So you know him..."
"Know who, you old fool?!?"
"Why, my brother Happousai! Don't tell me he's never
told you about me... though I can't say I'm not surprised,
he hardly ever mentions me, you know?" Everyone gasped,
"BROTHER?!?" "As if one of them isn't enough...", muttered
Ranma.
"What is your business here?", asked Soun.
"I seek to be with my brother... he's always avoiding
me, you know? But I always find him every decade or so...
sort of a family game. Pity he spends so little time with me...
he's the tame one of the family, you know?"
"TAME?!?", echoed everyone.
"Yes... he's always been the non-violent type... and
with women he's really shy... always restricting himself to
mere ogling, groping, and panty snatching. He's never tried
bondage or rape... and in dark magic... wouldn't even touch
the stuff. I mean, is he a bore or what?"
"...", said the shocked household.
"Well if he doesn't live here, know where I can find him?"
"..."
*<SMASH>*
"HENTOSAI!!! DIE!!!", cried Happousai as he smashed
through the ceiling, into his brother.
"Dear brother! How's it- oof!", Hentosai said with a
foot in his face. Happousai launched his attacks while Hentosai
calmly dodged them.
"Why do you follow me?!? Can't you see I hate you!"
"Oh come now, brother, we are family... we belong together!"
"AURGH!!! HUNDRED-HAPPOUDAIKARIN ATTACK!!!", Happousai
began to toss firecracker bomb after firecracker bomb at his
brother who began to juggle them merrily... until they blew up.
-=-=-
Ranma-chan's body ached but she got up anyway. She
groaned and looked around at the devastation. It seemed she was
the last to get up. Happousai was talking to everyone else.
"...always bully me. So we were never really close.
And after that incident you can see why I blew him to space."
"But how can you do that to him? I thought you said
his perversion and dark magic makes him a hundred times
stronger than you?"
"I think he lets me win... it's all a game to him.
Besides, he's also insane and senile, that ruins his concentration.
But thank God I have these lovely girls to look after me!"
Happousai jumped at Akane's chest, but was promptly flatted
face-first into the ground.
"I don't feel *that* sorry for you!"
"Ohhhh but you do feel sorry for me! I knew you had
feelings for me!"
"Get away from my fiancee you pig!!!", Ranma-chan smashed
a table over Happousai's head. Happousai showed no sign that he
felt the hit.
"Ah Ranma-chan, my girl! Wearing a bra yet?" He leapt for
Ranma's chest but encountered only Ranma's foot and Akane's fist.
"Uhnnng." Hentosai got up. He shook his head and grinned.
"Otouto... you sly dog! I thought you'd remain a virgin
your entire life... but you are surrounded by beautiful women.
Perhaps I might have a taste of their sweet honey!" Hentosai
dove at the Tendo girls and Ranma-chan. But Soun, Genma, and
Happousai jumped to the girls' defense.
"Stay back you foul old man!" All three coordinated their
attacks but the skilled Hentosai slipped past and went for Ranma.
Hentosai expected no serious defense from the girls so he was
surprised when he caught a stepping round-house kick to the face
from Ranma. Hentosai tried again but Ranma deftly sidestepped and
stomped on his head. Hentosai growled and dove only to receive a
uppercut that smashed him into the ceiling. He was getting annoyed.
"Grrrrrowl! So Happousai, you refuse to share your
fruits... You've trained them well, but are they prepared for my
Ultimate Technique? HENTAI HENTOSAI PASSION FEVER ATTACK!!!!"
Hentosai jumped into the air, his hands became a blur as his hands
went back an forth, tossing golden dust from a bag.
Hentosai landed, assumed a lotus position, and began to
laugh quietly. Everyone rubbed the dust out of their eyes,
Akane sneezed, Nabiki calmly dusted the powder off her blouse, and
Ranma stared at the glitter sticking to her bare arms.
"That's.... it?", Ranma had expected something more from
a diabolical, perverted maniac, but then again... a simple poke
from Cologne's stick had caused him a cart-load of misery.
"Oh! This will be trouble to clean up.", the simple
Kasumi stated simply.
"Oh I wouldn't worry about the mess, my dear. You
have much bigger problems to worry about. That was my
Passion Fever Attack-"
"P-Passion... Fever?", interrupted a nervous Soun.
"Oh, you don't have to worry. It only affects young...
virgin... females....", he grinned like a Cheshire Cat, "like
you lovely sweets. I can tell from your auras."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Author's Notes:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What the hell is a Passion Fever Attack?!? (Uh DUH!)
Well wouldn't you like to know? To get the lemon part of the story
just E-mail me one of the following:
lemonlst.zip
lemon list archive
sailor moon lemon
Gargoyles lemon
FTP/Web site addresses for either:
adult Street Fighter (SF_*.jpg) pix
adult Sailor Moon (Mars) pix
adult Ranma (sranma/ss/ssp/etc.) pix
adult Anime pix (not hawkenet or doki please I
already have their addresses)
I'm just listing these shameless requests because I've made requests
for these over and over with little response. Out of the kindness
of my heart, I'll probably post the rest of this story in time but
I hope that some of you will send me one of the above.
Please mail comments! No flames!
BTW: please begin all subjects with "**".