Hiya! Yes, the not-so-long dreaded fanfic by me. I know
half of you out there are ready to throw their computers you're
so frustrated with the amount of ranma fanfics out there. Sorry,
but if I tried to write about any other anime, it'd come out
even worse.

This is good stuff.  You've shown a remarkable familiarity with the
style of the characters, something which is lacking in a lot of Ranma
fanfic (not necessarily a bad thing, but it's nice to read fanfic
written in the original author's style, too).

	This is written by the mind of a 13-year old (me! ;)),
so it might seem what I'd call 'young' to you. I don't know
why, but I like this, and I'll continue writting it even if
you don't want me to post it anymore. This is my first fan-fic,
so be sweet and don't flame me!

I can see the alternate universes flying now.  If you are, as you claim,
going in for the death, gloom, and despair, maybe you should keep it out
of the main plot and explore the dark, depressing universe of the
alternate Ranma.  Then again, maybe I should stop second-guessing the
author and just take it as it comes. ^_^

This effort is all the more impressive since you're thirteen; your
writing is pretty tight and well-paced.  While mostly standard Ranma,
it's *good* standard Ranma.  Part 2 is where I expect to see your
creativity shine through.

	Ok, there it is! Before you comment, though, please
answer these questions for me.

1) What does Kodachi, Shampoo, Ukyou and Akane call each other?
I'm assuming Shampoo and Kodachi wouldn't use people's
normal names. (ie. Shampoo call Akane pervert-girl sometimes)

Akane calls Kodachi and Shampoo by their names; I'm not sure where Ukyou
fits in.  Kodachi, like brother Tatewaki, calls our heroine "Tendo
Akane"; Shampoo calls her "violent girl".  Shampoo calls Ukyou "not-nice
girl".  Kodachi calls Shampoo "violent savage" or something along those
lines.  Mind you, a multiple meeting of the fiancees like this is rare,
at least early on.

2) What's the name of the person who does Ranma-chan's voice
in the original version? I know it's Megumi something,
but I don't know how to spell it or what her last name is.

Hayashibara.

3) Is it clear? I feel as if I might have left out
something that seems perfectly clear to me, but never in fact
got written out.

Did Nabiki get Kunou to eat Akane's homemade poison by telling him that
Akane had made it?  If not, it's a SURE way to get the big lunk to scarf
down that food.  "My sister's poisons..."  ROFL!

--Angst-sensei
(Hai, hai, post chapter two!)
-- 
/-\ ** Jeff Williamson *** Lightfall Integrated Media *** Chicago, IL ** /-\
|A| jeff@casbah.acns.nwu.edu *@_@* Anime Central Recruitment Coordinator |9|
|C| ==> Misleading subliminal here ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ yes, *here* ^^^^^^^^^^^ |8|
\-/ *CAUTION!  Receiving information.  CAUTION!  Receiving information!* \-/