Ok, I've added in Kuno :)
Comments, criticisms, suggestions accepted here. (escpecially re: all the
speechifying)
Sapphire, The Blue Tigress
"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"I think so, Brain, but Kuno and Kasumi? What would the children be like?"
*******************
Nabiki and the Airship
========================
The Tendo house, Nerima District. A quiet, clear, starry night.
A slim black-haired girl moves stealthily from one window to another. A
camera hangs around her neck as water sloshes in the bucket she carries.
Thoughts of the yen she will receive run through her mind. 'How much
should I charge Kuno for these pictures--- 3000 yen? 5000 yen?'
Suddenly, the silence is broken by a high-pitched whine. Nabiki turns to
see what looks like a silver frisbee about to land in the yard. Except
frisbees aren't that big and don't have a hump in the center. `There
may be some money in this!' thinks Nabiki as she sets down the bucket
and goes to investigate. A door appears in the saucer and slowly opens...
a figure steps out. It's a man! Noticing Nabiki, he steps off the
saucer and approaches.
"Pardon me, but would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?" asks the man.
Nabiki goes bug-eyed and facefaults. She recovers and asks, "Are you for
real? What do you want with Grey Poupon? Who are you anyway?"
The man smiles and answers, "Allow me to introduce myself--- I am Frank E.
Bowers at your service. As for the Grey Poupon, I use it to fuel my
airship. I have discovered that mustard makes a great fuel source and Grey
Poupon is an excellent octane. Would you happen to have any? I'm willing
to pay for it."
At the word "pay" Nabiki begins calculating. "How much do you need?"
"Oh, about 100 large jars would do."
"It will take me a little while to get that much so you'll have to stay here
for a few days. Let's see... 80,000 yen for the mustard, 10,000 yen for
room and board, and 5,000 yen for service... that makes 95,000 yen total---
cash or credit?"
Pulling out his wallet, Frank extracts a card from it. The card has the
words `Anime Express Card - Never leave home without it' and a cute blue
tiger on it. He hands it to Nabiki who pulls out a cash register from
somewhere and completes the transaction.
Nabiki then looks at his ship and comments, "Parking costs extra. Are
you going to leave it there?"
Frank frowns, thinking about his credit limit, then smiles and snaps his
fingers. "Parking is not a problem. Watch this." He goes over to his
ship and presses a slight indentation. The airship folds up into a slim,
brown leather briefcase a la `The Jetsons'. Frank picks up the briefcase
and grins proudly at Nabiki like a little 5 year old showing off his art
project to doting parents.
"Come on, I'll show you to your room." commands Nabiki, leading the way
into the house and up to the guest room. Entering, she turns on the light
and gets her first good look at Frank. "AAaiiieeee!!!" she shrieks as she
gets an eyeful of his awful outfit. Frank is wearing a deep purple
turtleneck with a bright yellow sweater vest and tacky, lime-green
sweatpants.
Frank grins and waves at his outfit. "A real eye-opener, huh?"
Between her clenched teeth, Nabiki asks, "Definitely. Do you always dress
like that?"
"Oh no, sometimes I have to dress up... then I wear my paisley suit," Frank
replies, smiling cheerfully.
`I definitely have to give this guy some fashion lessons... especially now
that he's staying here!' Nabiki thinks as she says goodnight and returns to
her room.
********************
The next morning everyone, except Nabiki, is downstairs waiting for
breakfast. A fight erupts between Ranma and Akane. Nabiki walks in with
Frank and tries to introduce him but the argument is too loud. Frank
attempts to interrupt the argument but noone notices him. He pulls out a
little grey box with a bright red button and is about to press the button
when a little green duck in a white diaper swipes the box from him and
clutches it tightly.
Baby Plucky lisps, "*You* no push the button. *I* push the button," and
raises his finger high above his head to press the button. Frank grabs the
box back, pulls out a cellular phone, tosses the phone to Baby Plucky and
says, "B.P. phone home!" Baby Plucky happily pushes the phone buttons
and toddles off the scene.
Frank pushes the little red button and all sound within a 25-foot radius
ceases. The argument goes on for a few more seconds before everyone
realizes that fact and looks around for the cause. Frank pushes the button
again, clears his through and says, "Good morning, I'm Frank. I'll be your
guest for a few days." He pulls out a chair and bows floridly to Nabiki.
"Will you be seated, milady?"
Nabiki sits and thanks him. Kasumi brings out breakfast as Frank sits down.
Everyone else is staring at the two latecomers, especially at Frank's outfit
although they try very hard not to. He is wearing the same purple, green,
and yellow outfit as last night.
"Mmmm... That smells good. Pancakes are my favorite!" exclaims Frank,
smiling at Kasumi.
"Mine too!" peeps a little kangaroo mouse as it hops onto the table from
Frank's pocket and grabs one. The girls instantly go into cuddly mode as the
immortal words "Oohhh, he's sooo cute!!!" fill the air.
"Can I hold him?" "What's his name?" "Where'd you get him?" shriek the
three girls as they watch the little mouse try to hold the large pancake in
its paws.
"Calm down, girls," answers Frank. "Yes, you can hold him...His name is
Nibbles...and I found him in the desert. That collar he is wearing lets
him `talk' to us."
"Hmph. Don't see what's so great about a *rat*," remarks Ranma as he forks
another pancake.
Turning to yell at him, Akane notices the last pancake is on Ranma's plate.
She grabs the plate and shouts, "You pig! Some of those pancakes are were
for us!"
She raises her fist to hit him when Frank grasps her arm and, producing a
plate stacked with pancakes, says, "Hey, no worries! I noticed how fast
those three were eating, so I swiped some earlier."
********************
After breakfast, Nabiki announces, "I'm taking Frank shopping--- especially
for some new clothes."
Akane looks up. "I'll join you. I want to buy a new dress for
the dance next week."
"What would a tomboy like you know about fashion?" says Ranma. "I bet you
can't even dance."
"You... you... you... RANMA NO BAKA!!!" yells Akane, lifting the table and
smacking Ranma into the wall.
Frank looks interestedly at the sizable Ranma-shaped dent then back at Akane,
who is now blushing in embarrassment.
"Very interesting," remarks Frank, lifting an eybrow. He turns to Nabiki,
"Shall we go, milady?"
Nabiki looks curiously at him and asks, "Why do you call me that?"
"Well, you're my hostess... I don't mean the cupcake kind... and you're
definitely a lady. Besides, I've always had a leaning toward the chivalry
and pagaentry of the Medieval Ages." Frank scoops Nibbles back into his
pocket and holds the door open for Nabiki and Akane.
As the trio approach a clothing store, a familiar voice hails them.
"Ah, the strong and beautiful Akane Tendo, the gods smile upon me for
allowing Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, to gaze upon
your visage once more."
He holds a bouquet of red roses out to Akane. Noticing the others with
her, Kuno asks, "Who is this lowly peon who dares to walk beside the fair
and lovely Akane and her mercenary sister, Nabiki? His very attire
proclaims his lowly status."
Frank steps forward and bows humbly.
"Greetings and well met, milord. This lowly peon that you see standing
before you was named Frank by his loving parents and has prevailed upon
the lovely Tendo sisters, Akane and Nabiki, to rectify the sad state of
his dress which apparently offends even the superior sight of milord
Kuno."
Frank gestures at his clothing, then again bowing humbly, steps back.
Nabiki and Akane look at Frank, amazed at his abrupt change in demeanor.
"Ah! A mission of mercy! Such charity should be rewarded. Hmm... Akane
Tendo, I will escort you to the dance next week. Until then, please
accept these roses as a sign of my love."
Kuno presses the flowers onto Akane and walks off.
Nabiki and Akane come out of their stupor.
"Why did you do that?" asks Nabiki.
"What, the speech?"
Nabiki nods.
"Kuno looked like he'd have babbled on for hours and we were planning to
go shopping *sometime* today. So I just gave him a reason to let us go on
our way."
Akane asks, "Where did you learn to speak like that?"
"Oh, I picked it up when I was researching the Medieval Ages. You
wouldn't believe how convoluted some of the passages are. By the time
you've reached the end, you've forgotten what the beginning said.
Anyway, this looks like the right place. Let's go in."