Dear J,

Thanks for your letter. I liked your ideas, i will, err, have changed, err,
added some new paragraphs & sentences to the story. You will see them in the
1.5 version. I will post it soon. BRIAN

---Tulpa, your mine  T H U N D E R   B O L T   CUT!---Ronin Warriors (Sage
of the Halo)

Just read v1.4. I love the plot! I really can't wait to see how you sew this
one up!

The violence is not really my personal style, but is _very_ Rumic world,
and thus quite appropriate for a Rumiko based story, and critical to the
plot so
it seems.

The re-formatting really helps the read-ablility of the story.
I never paid much attention to all of that stuff in school, I wish I 
had now. Some authers (Or editors) are just _so_ good at it. I was reading
Tom Clancy last night, and the words never got in the way of the story. I
wish I could one day write just one paragraph that well.

----

You could have lots of fun in the action sequences, specificaly, 
you could slow down time in 3 places:

1. When Ryoga snaps. What was in his mind?
2. The mortal blow. What exactly did Ryouga see? It must have been a
shishi-hoku something technique, ne? Where did he learn it? 
3. Akane's scream. What did she see? What details are burned into her retinas?

I'm honestly not saying that anything needs to be changed in those sequences,
I just think it would be fun to write about those moments.


Please finish this story.

J.