fanfic@andrew.cais.com

                Ranma 1/2: Reality Bites, Hard.
                          The Prologe

                        By Bruce R. Brunk
                      brbrunk@agora.rdrop.com

This is not all that much, yet just the prologe.  I'm just looking for
mechanical/stylisitic advice at this point.  As comedies are harder to
write than dramas, and the subject matter isn't all that funny to begin
with, don't expect multiple, intentional chuckles. (Laughing at my writing
is a whole other subject.)


[* Insert standard "This is my first fanfic attempt don't flame" whine. *]
Hate this, don't flame me, I'll ignore it.  If you would like me to just
go back to lurker mode, just don't respond.  If I don't hear anything I'll
fade away faster.


[* Insert standard legal jargon. *]
IE none of the characters are mine, the ultimately belong to Rumiko
Takahashi.  She can sue me for everything I'm worth and come out with
less money than she started with. So on with the show.


Ok, I finally came up with an idea that 1) To my knowlege, doesn't directly
contridict any tennets set down in the Anime or Manga.  2) Isn't some
story about some otaku getting transwaped into Ranmaworld, all major people
have been seen before.





Prologe
Saturday Morning at the Tendo Dojo, in the kitchen, after an unusually
        quite breakfast.

Ranma   Err. Kasumi?
Kasumi  Yes, Ranma?
Ranma   Well, I was wondering, concidering I'm likely gonna get stuck
        married to your sister, with her cooking ability and all.  If
        you teach me a couple different types of recipes.  I'm afraid
        that my skills stop at salads and vegatible stri-fry, Pop never
        having enough money for meat and stuff like that.   What's wr.. 
        Oh-oh.

Kasumi is looking worried and lets out a little squeak

Kasumi  Oh my.

The scene switches slightly, we see Akane, behind Ranma, having just pulled
out sledge hammer #37, one of her least favorites, that was why she kept it
hidden between the fridge and the cabinet.

Akane   b, Ba, BAKA!!!!
For some reason today, instead of an overhead smash Akane swings the head
of the hammer up and away from Ranma and in her best Peter Jacobsen
impersonation swings the hammer down, around and up, make clean contact
with Ranma's chin as he turned around.  This, of course, sends him through
the roof.  However, instead of going cleanly through it, his left shoulder
hits a crossbeam spining him around so that he flies out feet first.

Kasumi  Akane, that didn't look to good.  I've never seen Ranma fly out
        of here like that.

Akane   He'll be fine.  It looks like he'll land at Dr Tofu's clinic.
        {Why does he always have insult my cooking!}


Dr. Tofu's clinic 5 minutes later.

We see Dr. Tofu sitting at his desk, reading a book titled "37
methods of drying ginseng root and how each effect acne."

[Crash, Shatter, Splat] - from the general area of the waiting room.

Dr Tofu Oh great!  Who is it this time?  I'd better have Genma get
        over here tomorrow.  I'll need it cleaned up before...

As he enters the waiting room he sees Ranma.  Nothing unsual there.
Landed on his face, again normal.  However what was not normal was that
while Ranma's right hand was in the proper "Please spirts, this is gonna
hurt" position.  His left arm was hanging limp.  Not good.  Moving closer
Tofu could see that Ranma was pale, _very_ pale. Then he saw the blood.


Comments?
Bruce

 ___________________________________________ _______________________________
| Bruce R. (just call me Ryoga) Brunk       | All those animals.            |
| Lake Oswego, Oregon                       | People eating Akane's cooking |
| Senior Systems Engineer, FEI America, Inc.| and liking it....   Something |
| brbrunk@agora.rdrop.com                   | weird is going on here!       |
| brbrunk@industrial.com                    | - Saotome Ranma               |
|___________________________________________|_______________________________|