Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma/Marvel] Avenging Act III Chapter 5
From: DB Sommer
Date: 12/21/2006, 11:04 AM
To: Troy Thomas
CC: ffml@anifics.com



Troy Thomas wrote:

Very little for me to comment on. Caught some things that've probably 
already been found. Enjoyed the fight scene, and didn't find it chaotic 
(at least no more than any such scene should be).
 


% Thanks. I know at times the fight scenes are a bit heavy, but most of 
them give each character a chance to shine, and in this case the foes 
tied into a major villain, as well as showed some of the characters 
interactions with one another.

Troy Thomas

 

Jurgens went pale as he saw none other than Captain Japan boldly 
standing at the end of the dock. Surrounding him were the rest of the 
Avengers. Daredevil was there billowing sleeves were crossed across his 
stomach, hands hidden inside their folds. Hawkeye stood poised with a 
bow in hand, arrow notched. The monstrous Hulk was impossible to miss as 
he crinkled his nose in disgust at the smell of raw fish. The new girl, 
Tigra, looked like she wanted to do nothing so much as wrap herself 
around Captain Japan. And there was the normal-sized Giant Man, hanging 
toward the back of the group, as though not wishing to be seen.
   


Daredevil was there billowing sleeves were crossed across his stomach,

Maybe,
Daredevil was there, sleeves billowing across his stomach
 


Okay

 

He roared in her face, more beast than human. Still the Avenger pressed 
on. She knew she would win eventually. She was the Goddess of Thunder 
She wouldn�t have been too concerned save for one problem.
   


Missing a period.

 > �I ain�t got no weakness!� Killer Shrike shouted, but sounded slightly
 

unsure of himself.
Rather than drawing closer, Killer Shrike aimed and touched his 
gauntlets together, unleashing a maximum powered electrical discharge.
   


Is a line break missing there?
 


Not on my copy. Might be a mailer thing. Will look into it.

Thanks.


DB Sommer



 



             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'