Subject: [FFML] Re: [Draft 2][SM/SM] The Amazing Spiderwoman Chapter 14
From: DB Sommer
Date: 12/17/2006, 7:35 PM
To: StudioPC

% Might be able to finish this as well

StudioPC wrote:


Carol Danvers clicked off her comlink and smiled coldly. Finally,  
some action. She was a tall, athletic woman, with blond hair and the  
fine features of a model and soft curves under the midnight blue of  
her uniform. However, she only looked soft. In fact, she was a ten  
year veteran of the Air Force, and five years with S.H.I.E.L.D. She  
was also a fully trained and blooded combat pilot and served as  
Fury's right hand man.

% Hmm. Headhunted by SHIELD instead of Cape Canveral where she was head 
of security, or whereever the Captain Marvel series took place.

Not bad for a girl from the middle of nowhere America

% was she? Her father worked the high rises somewhere, which is why 
Steeplejack II tried to kill him.


But now she stood up and began removing her uniform, revealing a  
midnight-blue, sleeveless, legless bodysuit with a yellow lighting  
bolt across the chest and a red sash for a belt. She also wore boots  
and gloves of midnight blue.

% Cool. She's Ms. Marvel/Warbird.

Beryl returned to the birthing chamber and  
gazed upon her weapon. Twenty-five feet tall, red and black armor and  
next to it, constrained by a force field, a seething, writhing sphere  
of raw energy. This was her greatest creation, her child, really,  
since it was her DNA that had formed the baseline for it's matrix.

"Your highness."

Beryl gazed at the man who had spoken. A tall, broadshouldered man  

'gazed at who' might work better than having two 'man's close together.

with a short beard and a red diamond in his forehead. He was clad in  
black and his eyes, like his skin, were pure white.

"Sinister," she said shortly, giving him a brief nod. "Update me."

% Hmm. Yes, I can see Essex aligning himself with her

Beryl frowned at him. "Are you scared of them, Sinister? This  
Fantastic Four?"

 % They've defeated a variety of cosmic powered menaces. Only a fool 
wouldn't be.

"Hardly. But nor am I a fool. If they are on to us, they will keep  
coming, and coming and coming until we are destroyed. Their DNA is  
unremarkable, but they have a curious ability to achieve the  
seemingly impossible. I may take samples some day for my files."

Beryl considered this. Sinister was no fool

% This has been said three times. Use something other than 'fool' for 
one of them

Sinister hated magic. There were no rules, no laws to govern its  

% Of course there are. They have to learn how to use it. It's just a 
field of energy that uses more chaotic elements than most.

Neither of them noticed the cartoon rabbit that appeared on a monitor  
screen, sniggered silently, and then vanished.

% Heh

"You have to be kidding me," Fury complained, crossing his arms. "You  
take a flash drive with you on a life or death mission?"

% Gabe used to take a trumpet with him on missions. You think Fury would 
be used to things like that taken along.

leaping off the walls and sliding across the floor.

Sailor Moon had her sword and the hammer-axe, Beryl was using a pair  
of sabers. As they watched, Sailor Moon launched a series of thrusts  
and then  spun,

% extra space between then and spun.

"Don't you dare make this about that, Usagi!" Beryl shouted. "I did  
nothing wrong!"

"I was twelve, Beryl. Twelve years old!"

"You're still mad about that?"

% heh. Nice exchange.

She screamed, she screamed as she understood everything, including  
what she had given herself too. What she had become.

She screamed until Mettalia obliterated her mind and arose in her body.

She threw back her head and roared a challenge to her foe.

It came back from down the hallway.

"Aw, shaddup!"

% Cute. Spiderwoman is taking something of a backseat here, but it still 
works out as a very nice fusion.

DB Sommer

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