Subject: [FFML] [C&C][Naruto] Suiren, Chapter 9: Breath...
From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <>
Date: 12/13/2006, 4:15 AM
To: "Eimii" <>, <>

Harsh Language Warning: Haha! This is the first new warning i've had to
write since these revisions began, because, for the first time _ever_,
i've uncensored all of the '#$)(&' things that everyone seems to hate...


All taken into consideration, it might be best to consider this a new,
'Quick and Extremely Painful' version of "Breath..." I'm tempted to call
it "Breathe Faster!" but that just doesn't roll off the tongue as well.

Maybe "Gasp"?



"What exactly did you mean, when you told Sakura to 'remember her

"Why, I meant her courtesan training from those special kunoichi classes, of

"Haha! Have you noticed something interesting, Kakashi?" Absently
kicking his current enemy across the gallery, the bushy browed jounin
looked over his shoulder at his comrade. "While I admit that the
progress of your other students is truly impressive, you were foolish to
ignore adorable little Sakura-chan!"

"She gives MUCH better head than Sasuke..."

That didn't mean that he would be denied a victory, however. "That
reminds me of a child I once knew," he mused wistfully, sizing up the
younger woman. "I can remember how she used to come home with burned
fingers and lumps on her head after trying to steal sweet chestnuts from
street vendors..."

Anko's expression soured for a moment, but she recovered quickly. "Well,
if we're talking ancient history here, I can remember a few things too,

...did Anko just call *herself* old?

Reeling as the banshee's wail mercilessly castrated his ego,


Standing back to back with Kakashi to show the righteous solidarity of
platonic teacher's love, Gai pointed an accusing finger at the examiner.
"If the girl who was here just a moment ago was truly a clone, then tell
me, what have you done with my darling Sakura-chan?"

...ooookay THAT is a little creepy.

While she was adjusting the ties to keep the cloth snug against her
face, a faint whistling sound caught her ear. Sakura looked to her right
just in time to see a few leaves on the ground leap into the air as if
they were alive, before a glistening, half-seen ribbon of light shredded
them to pieces- razor wire! *FUCK!*

I think fucking razor wire would be...extremely painful.

"Eh?" Glancing down, Sakura realized that her tattered gray t-shirt was
flayed open diagonally in front, and the loose binding she'd tied over
her breasts had been neatly bisected as well. Apparently she hadn't
escaped the Sound nin's last attack _completely_ unscathed.


"This scent!"

"What now? The shampoo again?"


Dropping her poisoned needle, the kimono-clad ninja clung desperately to
the branch she'd just landed on as the forest to the left of her erupted
in a deafening wall of fire. "HOLY FUCK!"

Yare yare...this isn't Pleasantville...

Cancelling her windup into a block, the Sand nin hopped away, releasing
a Kamaitachi in Sakura's general direction. The wind attack was blunt,

In which case, then, it wouldn't actually be a Kamaitachi at all, would it?
Since that's literally a cutting wind...

*That jerk!* Even if this was what they'd agreed upon, he could have
stuck around long enough to do more than throw a couple kunai! *Dammit,
he'd better keep Sasuke safe, or I'm gonna introduce that jackass to
Mom's favorite family-sized can of Raid!*


If she closed to melee range, however, she would be totally exposed, and
she didn't like her odds in that situation; Temari was looking a lot
fresher than she felt after, fighting those Sound nins. Striking with

stray comma there

Abruptly, Temari shifted her weight and began turning left. As he
adjusted his footing to mirror her, Kankuro heard the clang of steel on
steel, and felt his sister's arm jerk.

A feeling he's well used to!

Before he could reply Kankuro felt Temari's shoulders tense violently
against his back, and the shadow of the girl above them began to ripple
and warp. Looking up, the last thing he saw was a sky-blackening curtain
of crawling, chittering bugs descending upon him. *Aaaaw, fuck me...*

Shino: "....I apologise. I do not engage in that type of behavior."

"Is she dead?" he inquired cautiously.

"She's stopped breathing, but she still has a weak pulse," the ANBU
replied in a hopeful rush. "Come over here and hold her arms in case she
struggles," she commanded, gesturing him forward.

Rape time!

Opening her eyes, Temari stared around dazedly until her gaze fell upon
Sakura. "What the he-" Temari's face contorted in shock as she lapsed
into another fit of wet coughs.

"No..." Paling, Sakura recoiled. "Not again! I didn't even do the stupid
seals this time!" she cried, shaking her head in denial. "This can't-"

...oh HELL no.

"Like hell it can't!" Temari rasped, trying to sit up. "I know- eh?"
Noticing that Shino was still restraining her, Temari heaved sigh of
exasperation and looked away, pinning Sakura with a hood-eyed glare. "I
know ya felt it! Ya think _you_ got a problem with this? I'm the one
_in_ the fuckin' bitch!"

Kinky. h.h

*Well, at least I know she still 'me,'* Sakura mused ruefully. The
abrasive attitude could have been Temari's influence, but that tongue
was definitely familiar.

And how!

"Don't look at me, I'm the one flat on my back with some pervert holdin'
me down," Temari spat. "Speakin'a which, if yer gonna hump my leg,
would'ja mind movin' that thing a bit lower, lover-boy? I know that
ain't a fuckin' scroll in yer pocket." The blonde wiggled her hips for


Laughing out loud when Shino fairly sprang off of her to land a few feet
away, Temari sat up and rubbed her wrists. "Heh, guess ya picked that up
from Kiba, huh?" she teased, giving Shino a nasty grin. "You guys close
like that, or what? C'mon, be honest; I won't tell anyone."


"How am I the pervert? _He's_ the one with a hard-on!"

"And you rubbed up against it!"

"Hey, a girl gets lonely!"

"He started it! And it made 'im stop bonin' my thigh, didn't it?"
Grimacing, Temari stiffly getting to her feet, the glanced down in
disgust. "Fuck!"

Didn't we already establish that's exactly what we DIDN'T want happening?

(Who didn't want it? h.h)

"She doesn't wear 'em either! How the hell can they stand it?" Temari
demanded, gingerly picking at the bottom of her sodden dress. "No wonder
she's such a bitch; she walks around with a fuckin' fish net crawlin' up
her ass."


"Ah, c'mon, I'm just teasin'!" Temari took a step back, holding up her
hands in submission. "I mean, look at 'im; he's like a fuckin' tomato in
sunglasses an' a dorky overcoat!"


Instead, she turned to examine the opposite river bank, waiting for her
blood to cool. Halfway through her second, slow ten-count, Sakura
pricked up her ears as a familiar sound echoed through the depths of the
forest: the thunder a hundred identical, irritating voices, screaming in
unison. "Naruto?"

Naruto is kinda like a Zerg rush...if it's coming, you KNOW it's coming.

"T-that's the monster inside him?" the orange-clad boy wondered in awe,
staring up at the mountainous creature before him. *Man, he's even
uglier than the stupid fox.* Naruto supposed it sort of looked like a
tanuki, but it was all lumpy and deformed- and it didn't even have feet!
It was like a giant mashed-potato monster!


"Sakura-chan!" Naruto started to turn around but a slender arm snaked
under his shoulder, reaching up to clamp a hand over his mouth. A second
arm then wrapped around his waist, tightening until he felt a body
pressing firmly against his back. Two small bits of topography coupled
with the sound of her voice told Naruto who his captor was, and for a
brief moment he was too stunned to react.

NOT the time to be thinking about that, dobe...

"...uuuuaaaAAAAGGH!" Emitting a barely human scream of agony, the
bunshin tensed up like she was having a seizure and then suddenly
_exploded_ into a fountain of steaming red blood and black serpentine


Quickly slipping beneath this unrelenting stream of torment, Sakura
barely noticed when deep shadow fell upon her, but in the moments before
the unconsciousness finally claimed her, she looked up to see a great,
sandy claw descending, and then she saw no more...


I used to have a gay sofa.
Now I have a hetero sectional.
The Eternal Lost Lurker

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