Subject: [FFML] Re: [1st Draft][Moldiver] Puzzle Pieces - Chapter 2
From: DB Sommer
Date: 12/12/2006, 8:21 PM
To: StudioPC

It's from June. It's my oldest one I'm going to try and knock off.

StudioPC wrote:

Disclaimer: Moldiver is the property of Pioneer, inc. No money is  
being made from this and no such intent should be inferred.  
Inspiration is drawn from "Moon With A View" by Richard C. Hoagland,  
available at if you're curious.

* * * *

Spacers called space "The Black",

And were promptly sued by the NAACP for racism.

and it was easy to see why. Outside  
of the running lights of the Daniel Boone, there was nothing but  
darkness and it drove some mad.

Flashbacks to Ren from Ren and Stimpy and his 'Space MADNESS!!!!" episode.

When they looked at it, and saw a  
vast void, they turned away from it, retreating into their own heads  
and refused


She sighed and looked away from the window as the terminal screen  
displayed a message from Hiroshi. He wanted to see her in his lab.  
She shook her head and began to get dressed. Officially, she and  
Hiroshi were on board the Boone to field test a new and highly  
classified type of space combat armor in the harsh environment of  
Saturn's gravity. Most of the crew didn't even know their last names.

In their eyes, Hiroshi didn't exist and the only thing they wanted to 
know about Mirai were her measurements.

Pulling on the tunic and loose pants, Mirai slipped her feet into the  
soft booties 

% that looked like bunny slippers.

and headed out into the corridors. From there, she took  
the lift down three levels to Hiroshi's lab, more commonly known as  
"The Pond". This was because Hiroshi had three assistants;

% and a large body of water, complete with lilly pads in it.

ratings and an ensign from engineering who followed him around like  
ducklings to their mother. In fact, Hiroshi's nickname among the crew  
was "Momma Duck", a fact he ignored.

"You wanted to see me, Hiroshi?" Mirai asked. Nearby, one of the  
ratings looked up from her work, smiled and then her eyes dropped to  
Mirai's chest for just a moment. Then she blushed and looked back at  
her terminal.

% Figures, the only chick in Hiroshi's group is more attracted to his 
sister than him.

Mirai hid a smile, the rating wasn't unattractive, but she had other  
things on her mind. 'Maybe on the way back to Earth,' she thought to  
herself as  tapped

missing word there

A that

% At

moment, the com crackled to life. "Your attention. Your  
attention please. Mr. Hiroshi and Ms

% Ms.

Mirai nodded to him and to the First Officer, Commander Oshii, and  
the Science officer, Doctor Wayne. She was however puzzled at the  
other person in the room; a large, brutish looking

% brutish-looking

"Mirai, Hiroshi," Jensen said as they sat down. "This is Sergeant  
Griswold. He's been briefed." The lights in the room dimmed and the  
holo projector hummed to life. "The probe has returned enough data to  
verify that at

% that, at

the very least, there is some sort of subterranean  
structure on Iapetus. Radar imaging has returned several deep craters  
hidden under dust and there is a mountain range at the equator  
emitting heat traces. So at the very least,

drop one of the 'at very least' statements

Within moments, the doors were pushed back enough that the team  
could  continue.

% extra space

"And what makes you so sure, Angus?" The first Marine demanded. "How  
do you know this isn't military? Whole place could be a giant laser  
cannon like in that movie. The one with the laser swords."

% You mean Starclash with David Hasselhoff? ^_^

"Use your eyes, Chase," Angus snorted. "The decor aint 

% ain't

military and  
and a military checkpoint wouldn't be so big. Too hard to defend if  

% maybe they had weapons that would make defending a wide corridor easy.

"It's another door, Sir," Angus reported, "and its


"Maybe there is," Mirai said and triggered her flight field. "I've  
only done this once before and I'm not sure how I did it. "She tossed  
Griswold her headset and began to adjust her density controls.

"MIRAI!" Hiroshi screamed. "What the hell are you -- NO! It won't --NO!"

"Shut it, Hiroshi," Mirai growled.

"You can't!"

"Blow me!" Mirai screamed

% Ohh. Incestuous lemon. Write it! ^_^

There was a moment of silence before Mirai replied and there was an  
odd tone in her voice. "I would like to make a full report in person,  

"Understood. Jensen out."

Griswold switched to a private frequency. "Bad?"

Mirai didn't answer. In fact, she didn't say a word to anyone for the  
entire trip back.

% Interesting. Definitely like the way you're moving this forward. 
Didn't expect to find anyone there after that build up. Interesting to 
see where this takes you next

DB Sommer


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - |
             | Unsubscribing - |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- -----'