Subject: [FFML] Re: [fusion][R1/2/Marvel] Avenging Act III, Chapter 4
From: DB Sommer
Date: 12/11/2006, 12:13 AM
To: Abdiel

% Yay! Nice to hear from you again so soon.

Abdiel wrote:

n 10/22/06, DB Sommer <> wrote:

Since there have been formatting problems, we'll try this in Notepad
(since Wordpad had wordwrap issues

In conclusion, forget about it. It's just not worth the hassle. Sorry for
wasting your bandwidth and time, I'm fairly sure I'm the only one who
gets/cares about these strange non-ascii symbols in your post anyway. I won't
push the issue any further.

% Okay. Will continue posting in plain text then.


[Last chapter: After defeating Swarm, Iron Rose headed to her new
acquisition, only to discover the Man Beast and his Ani-Men already
there. After a brief fight, Iron Rose was defeated as Man Beast began
his insidious scheme]

Ani-Men --> Ani Men (last chapter, you opted for the latter spelling; be

% True. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have looked up the proper spelling.

Hmmm. Y'know, this fic is becoming quite, well, comic-like with all the 'Last
chapter' summaries at the beginning and all.

% Since there is some times a good bit of time between chapters, it 
helps jog people's memories quickly.

Nabiki: (muted trumpet call plays in the background) Congratulations, Captain
Obvious! This fic _is_ comic-like!

(clears throat) Thing is, I have my worries about the comic part swallowing the
anime part in the long run. Is this the case nowadays in the later chapters?
We'll see.

% It very well might. For one thing, the characters in the manga/anime 
didn't evolve that much over time. These ones in this alt-uni are taking 
on a life of their own, so there are going to be increasing changes over 



��judging from what Humbug said, and if those Host Club losers are
indication, this Man Beast guy is up to no good. 

(muted trumpet call) Mwa-wa-wa-waaaah... 

Nabiki: And here's Captain Obvious's First Lieutenant!

% True. Ranma is... direct, in a things in this.

Apparently he�s some

animal rights loon that�s calling for likeminded nutjobs to rise up and

Wow... 'likeminded' is a dictionary-verifiable word. Too bad 'nutjobs' isn't.

Suggest: nut-jobs

% used most of your grammar recommendations, as always.




�So what should we do to the varlets?� Thor asked, stood imperiously
before the group, looking like she wanted to smash something.

Hmmm. Car-wreck sentence again. Suggest: Thor asked, stood imperiously before
the group, looking --> Thor asked as she stood imperiously before the group,
looking/Thor asked, standing imperiously over the group and looking

You're making far more car-wreck sentences than usual, DB

% It happens. Sometimes I have bad proofing days, and I'm the only one 
doing it at this point. No prereaders. But then, that's what the list is 
for, n'est pas?


Wasp answered, �Obviously we hunt down this Man Beast person, since from
his name it�s obvious he�s some sort of super-villain, and beat him up.

Hank McCoy: (pouts) A rose by any other name, my dear. A rose by any other

% Wasp: We'll blast the Rose too, if he gets in the way. Kingpin's 
progeny can never be up to any good.


And we also beat up anyone who�s following his orders.� She sounded like
she was even more eager than Thor.

I know Kasumi's kind-of, sort-of OOC when she's in Wasp mode, but imagining her
saying all these things in her soft, cheerful, and vacuous Kikuko Inoue/Willow
Johnson voice fills me with hearty giggles. ^_^

% That is the intention. She's not really rough and tough, though she's 
trying to act like it. Witness her conversation with Hornet/Hand Maid May.


�Like against the Serpent Society?� Wasp asked a bit testily at the
perceived attempt to ruin her fun.

Oh yeah. Those guys. Hmmm. I don't like them very much for the simple fact that
they were introduced into the series the way cannon fodder is usually
introduced; with zero buildup and a haphazard, touch-and-go appearance.

% No one in Act II was meant to be long running. Act II was to focus on 
individual characters and lay groundwork and foreshadowing. Irie and 
Hound from the Hulk chapter will now be used a lot in the upcoming 
Phantom Cat arc, for example. Even though they were background at the 
time. The Serpent Society was just a foe for the Avengers to fight as a 
unit to wrap up the arc, and to give some more foreshadowing on the 
'mystery figure' that's been up to financial no good. More on her in the 
next chapter as the Avengers step on her feet again. She's also one of 
the long running villains, BTW, like Kang.

current crop of villainous Ani Men led by the ever-suave, ever-powerful and
dangerously cunning Man Beast... Now _these_ are villains that the reader can
sink his teeth into!

% Yeah, they are an on-going villainous lot, at least Man Beast and to a 
lesser extent, Cat Man.

But of course there's always the chance that the Serpent Society will
eventually get their back and front stories fleshed out in the long run, so
excuse me for getting ahead of myself.

% No plans for that now. They served their purpose.


That definitely caught the Hulk�s interest. �Hulk doesn�t like snakes.
If there are snakes, Hulk will smash.�

Samuel L. Jackson: It's too late for me to make a joke about this. That ship...
or plane, as the case may be... has already sailed/flown far, far away by this
time. Nowadays, I'm Afro Samurai! HOO-HA!

% Heh. I really ought o rent that to see just how bad it truly was.

Indiana Jones: Hell, need _I_ say more?


Wasp flew over and landed on the green goliath�s shoulder. �See? The
Hulk agrees with me.� She kissed him on the cheek, making the Hulk blush
and Giant Man come close to openly crying.

And this scene reminds me of the Dexter's Lab filler cartoon, Justice Friends.

% And it shows more of the Wasp Giant Man dynamic as well. More on that 
later. I haven't forgotten about character development. The next chapter 
should have some fun out of costume scenes with the gang.


It was at that moment the Avenger�s faithful butler (nee ninja) Sasuke,

'nee'? Nanee? Erhm, nani? 

% Formerly. Like when a married woman's maiden name is used.


��saying that the animal rights group known as the Animal Liberation
Front has seized control of the headquarters of Kobayashi

The 'Friends of Humanity' will have a field day with 'Animal Liberation Front',
if ever. 

% There are similarties.


The screen shifted, a logo of Channel 4 appearing in the lower corner.
In front of an ostentatious podium was Man Beast, dressed in a formal
business suit that was a stark contrast to the animal head poking out of
the top.

And this is certainly reminiscent of a video game cut scene before the, well,
the game itself. Big fight atmosphere, with all the setup. I like the way
you're milking the moment; less drag, more suspense.

% Heh. Yeah, It's the climax to the Man Beast part of this arc. Next up 
will be a bit of build up to the Phantom Cat arc, as well as a pair of 
villains that will have a major impact on one of the Avenger's lives.



involving this sort of uncivilized behavior. Our intention is to harm no
one, however any attempt to retake the building before we are ready to
give it up will result in a battle, one in which I cannot guarantee the
safety of all involved. There are a number of concerns I wish for the
government to discuss, while we of the ALF continue to retain control of
this building as a message of the seriousness of our desires to open a
dialogue whereby everyone might arrive to a satisfactory conclusion.�

Nice monologue.

% Thanks. He's very good at telling people what they want to hear vs. 
what he really wants.


its hiding place and followed them. It flitted between the few shadows
offered in the small flight hanger with a preternatural ability, one so

(adds 'preternatural' to my vocabulary) A fic that teaches new words; just how
geeky is that? :P Educational Fanfic, the new trend in fandom!

% Heh. it's a cool word. like conflagration.



Man Beast watched her with rapt attention. Overrider�s hand was
literally inside the screen, words and numbers flashing by at a rate so
quickly even Man Beast�s highly evolved intellect couldn�t follow. That
and her hand was in the way. 

Heh. It just wouldn't be a DB Sommer fic without the digressive,
tongue-in-cheek comedy. That's not to say you can't do serious stuff, but...
comedy is second nature to you, apparently. I daresay this was an involuntary
relapse! :P

% Thanks. I do try to keep a good bit of humor in this, even if the 
background lends itself to a good bit of seriousness. Though efforts 
like the Ouran Animal Rights Host Club was obvious humor.

�Oh, I intend to go public with the virus, all right,� Man beast said,

Hmmm. Just to be safe...

If you meant 'bemused' to mean 'morbidly amused',

% Shoud be just 'amused'. I confused several people with that.

Man Beast�s snout turned into a rictus grin. �I�m disappointed in you,
Shinjiro. I thought you had vision. I thought you were willing to
sacrifice anything, even your life, for the cause of saving animals from
people. And I, being a kind and generous leader, am eager to give you
the opportunity to live up to those expectations. Not another single
animal will ever die at humanity�s hands again if there are no humans to
kill them. It�s the only sensible solution that guarantees animals
protection long after we are gone.�

IMO, Man Beast > Herbdarin as a boss. For one thing, he's presenting himself to
be a genuine threat to humanity, unlike Herb's tired shtick of dragon-blood
nobility and conquer-the-world mentality.

% I don't know. I kind of liked it. They are villains of a different 
variety. Herb wanted to rule because he genuinely believed he was the 
best man for the job. Man Beast is basically insane, though almost 
Jeckyl Hyde with his personality.

Too bad Man Beast will only last an
arc, but it was a blast having him around.

% Now now. You didnt' see the body. In Marvel, that always leaves the 
door open.

% Actually, I thought it would be painfully obvious from the way things 
went down at the end that all was not what it seemed. Manny is awful 
smart and plotting, after all.


exterminate Shinjiro, and the human race along with him. Besides, maybe
there was something he could say to get his leader to refocus on the
true nature of the cause. He was probably just getting caught up in the
moment. Power corrupting and all that.

Frozone (The Incredibles): Yeah! That's it, baby! Go for the monologue! Go for
making him recite his prepared speech about the utter destruction of the human
race and how insignificant we humans are in his presence. And besides, this Man
Beast dawg is kind of cool, so maybe his monologue will be halfway interesting!

If there ever was a Comic Book Character's Guide for Surviving in Comic Book
Land, then making the villain monologue would be listed as step one.

% Heh. Way back in Act I Ranma did exactly this to Herb. He even 
regarded that as one of the things super heroes should do when 
confronted with an evil mastermind. In Herb's case, he was so isolated 
and lonely, and wanted to fill in his new allies about his origin, he 
was only too happy to oblige. I also had fun with Mint and Lime asking 
to go since they had heard the story before.

Indiana Jones: Just how many Samuel L. Jackson cameos will this feedback be
having, exactly?

% As many as the man wants. He was Shaft, after all.



For just a brief instant, Shinjiro could understand how a person could
kill an animal, given the insane creature before him. He�d feel guilty

Sayuri: I certainly learned how to loathe plants through a Sommer fic; Being in
one is indeed a life-changing experience. Granted, I'm in a fic called
'Sextacular', so my expectations shouldn't have been so high to begin with...

Heh. As a btw... (nudge, nudge) How about writing a Sextacular chapter one of
these days, DB? ;)

% Time and energy, things I no longer have much of, I fear. It's taking 
a lot just to get this out. Also the 'Realities' lemon I've been doing 
off list is so much easier to write, since it's borderline PWP lemon, 
while Sextacular has an actual storyline. Sextacular is certainly not 
dead, just that it will be updated much more slowly since most of my 
effort is in trying to move this story along. But who knows what the 
future will hold. I ought to update a chapter so no one thinks it's dead.



the equation. It�s the only way to be sure.� Shinjiro tried sounding
fanatically devoted to the Man Beast�s cause.

Hmmm. I'll be doing a nitpick this time around; is it 'the Man Beast' or is it
'Man Beast'? I've seen the same thing happen to 'Batman' ('The Batman',
anyone?) and Battousai (The Hitokiri Battousai is acceptable considering the
translation, but _the_ Battousai? Not so sure). Or are you simply using both? I
suggest sticking to one, but it's not necessarily bad to use them

% No the, though with that name it is hard


�Excellent.� And with that Man Beast grabbed Shinjiro�s head and snapped
his neck with barely a hint of his true strength.

Just another victim.

% Yep. He only blabbed about everything since Shinjiro wasn't going to 
survive. But now the reader knows what the deal is with Manny, as well 
as laying down foundation for the second half of Act IV (you didn't 
think all that talk of Celestials, Eternals, and Youma was going to 
disappear, did you?)'


The frightened sound of a human voice quavered, �The Avengers are
attacking the building. They�re hitting the lobby.�

Ant Man: Avengers, assemble!

Captain America: Pfft. It's those cheesy lines that made you part of the B-Team
in the first place.

Ant Man: Oh, and having a theme song that goes, 'When Captain America throws
his mighty shield' is any better?

% heh, Too true. Too true


�Which might hold them off for several seconds,� Man Beast snarled. �Get
the rest of our companions. We just need to buy an hour of time. And if
we have to kill those fools to do it,� he smiled viciously. �All the

Hehehe. Enough of the cliffhangers and damn that Zeigarnik effect to hell. It's
game time. Plot Resolution, yo!

% Yep, Time for the payoff to the build up.

Captain America: 'It's game time'... Now that's a catch phrase that'll sell!

Ant Man: Unlike your movie...

Captain America: Feh. At least I was actually _in_ a movie!

% But did you ever watch that travesty? (the second one, as opposed to 
the 70's cheese movie) Although if you want bad Marvel, watch the 
psychedelic Dr. Strange TV movie pilot.



�Hulk would pass strength test. Probably get �A�,� he admitted.

Yeah. Like I said before, your Hulk reminds me more of Justice Friend's
'Incragable Krunk' than the actual, Lon Chaney-like, misunderstood Frankenstein
monster Hulk or even Ang Lee's digitally dead Hulk. Then again, I wasn't really
that avid of a reader of Hulk's adventures, so perhaps actual comic writers
have utilized the humor potential of the childlike Hulk.

% I am using it a lot more. Occasionally they did it when Hulk was with 
the Defenders, but the problem is between Silver Surfer, Dr. Strange, 
and Sub-Mariner, not one of them had told a joke in their entire lives 
to play off of Hulkie.



�Too true,� Man Beast acknowledged. �But while we are not human, and are
proud of our animal heritage, we still regard ourselves as equal to
humans, and worthy of the same respect you would give to others whose
only common ground with you might be their genetic structure.�

Smooth-talking bastard, he is. The scene with the guy who got his neck broken
does well to reveal to the reader the underlying threat that Man Beast
represents without being so overstated about it. Despite your beliefs to the
contrary, you _can_ do show and not tell quite well without your innate message
going over your readers' heads. ^_^

% Thanks. Man Beast is kind of nice to do, a madman who can act suave 
and sound good.


one takes up arms against us, we will harm no one. Feel free to remain
outside, poised to fall upon us should we try to break our word or
affect an escape in any way. I would not protest your presence, and

He's smarter than the average bear-dog-mammal-thingy... Yeah.

% And he would have gotten away with it if not for Ranma's reliance on 
bad guys being bad. :)


Giant Man smiled. �Actually that sounds��

�--Like whatever master scheme you have is only going to take an hour to
do,� Captain Japan finished. �You super-villain mastermind types always
try the same tricks, and they always fail. You�re just so predicable it
makes me wanna barf.�

Captain America: See here? My fanfic counterpart has the right idea. That kind
of nice-guy attitude _your_ fanfic counterpart is displaying shows that he
really does belong in the B-team.

% Heh. Actually exepect Ranma to live by the 'superhero book' his father 
taught him.

Ant Man: (grumbles, wonders idly if he can join the Ani Men by virtue of his

% no. Only the Avengers and briefly with the Defenders could handle an 
ant oriented guy. Even Aquaman and his abiilty to control fish was 
neater, though not by much.


Man Beast�s eyebrow twitched in fury. �Let�s see if you can predict
this. You�ll��

�--Never leave this building alive,� Captain Japan finished with a smirk.

Man Beast trembled in rage, almost having a mini-seizure. �Kill them!
And make it��

�Painful!� Captain Japan shouted.

Hehehe. Well, Cap's got a point.

% Thanks.



Cat Man looked at Dragonfly�s back as he complimented her. �Telling them
not to look into those hypnotic eyes of yours was a nice touch.�

Dojo Destroyer: ...So you hate it too.

Dragonfly: Hell, yeah.

% That one went over my head, I confess.


A billy club bounced off her head, making her break eye contact with the
group as a dazed Dragonfly fluttered to the ground, her eyes reverting
back to their normal white.

�I guess I didn�t get it,� Daredevil bragged as his companions began
blinking back into the real world.

Daredevil: Each of us is here to fill in each other's weakness, apparently.

Captain Japan: Wow. Sounds deep.

% One dimensional raw power can be outmanevered (like DF's hypnotics), 
so a variety of abilities is frequently useful. in this case DD saved 
everyone's bacon.


�Don�t worry, I�ll help!� Captain Japan hurled his shield at the feline,
only to have a green blur cut into the path of the weapon, kicking it
out of midair. 

Midair! w00t! Finally! My quest to have that spelled sans hyphen is slowly
taking fruition!

% at least for one brief, shining moment, since i hyphenated it later.


�What do you know, a Frog guy that doesn�t completely suck,� Captain
Japan admitted. �Though they�ll be serving frog legs in prison before
the night is out.�

�We�ll see about that, humie!� Frog Man leapt at him again.

Heh. These 'muties' _are_ the new 'Friends of Humanity', but only in reverse; I
can't believe I've only picked up on this just now. That, and Ani-Men are the
X-Men in reverse... I guess. :P

% Well, the Ani Men were the new X Men's first 'official' villains 
(Kraktoa was sort of an informal villain and both teams took him on)

% As a side note, one of the best non-dark What If's was the What If the 
New X Men hadn't formed (Since the original team stayed together). It 
was amusing to watch a lower powered squad do a better job because they 
weren't dysfunctional and worked better as a team. The best was the way 
they tried building up the Phoenix storyline and ended it by having 
Polaris explain at the height of the 'who gets to be the sacrifice' 
arguement that no one needed to do it since she could control the ship 
from inside the safety area with her magnetic abilities.



the back of his neck to stand up. He turned toward the sound, only to
have a whirling dervish of feathers and claws rake at his eyes as Bird
Man attacked.


Ant Man: (suddenly has a growing disdain for Adult Swim and Boomerang)

% heheheh


�As though some deluded human has the right to judge one so vastly her
evolutionary superior,� Man Beast roared as he unleashed yet another
bolt of mental energy.

Tsk. I'm guessing (and I'll probably be wrong) that Thor's one of the
'Eternals' or whatever the Celestials created?

% No. She's Asgardian, who were totally different extra-dimensional 
beings. The Eternals were mistaken for the Olympian Pantheon due to 
their powers being similar to many of the Olympian gods.

% However the whole Celestial bit will make sense once the second half 
of Act IV gets underway. i think it'll fit in nicely with a different 
anime series.



versatility with weapons held off the superior warrior. Had he been
going for the kill the way Cat Man was, it might have been a different
story, but Daredevil had long ago decided that was no line he would
willingly cross.

Captain America: Your fanfic counterpart's a wuss.

Daredevil: (begrudgingly agrees) He needs a dose of Frank Miller.

% Nah. This augmented Cat Man really is tougher than this DD.


But as turned on as Cat Man was by the appearance of the seriously hot
female so similar to him, pain transformed that lust into rage. �Who the
hell are you?!�

�Nihao. Am Tigra, the Were Woman,� she purred, making a display of

Suggest: Were-Woman (since you'll be using the hyphenated 'Were-Woman' later on

% Good idea. I should look up the original spelling, though.


licking the blood from her claws.

I'm vaguely thinking this is Shampoo, but she's already Elektra, so... I got
nothing except Shampoo doing triple duty as Tigra, Elektra, and being herself.

% Hmm. I thought I had plenty of foreshadowing with this from the end of 
her appearance in Act II to the prologue to here. Unless this is the 
swerve from hell.


Man Beast�s fury grew. �You think you�ve won? Well I�ve got news for
you, you�ll never take us alive! And you won�t make it out of here
either, since I have explosives wired at critical junctures of the
building. It�ll come down around all of our ears, and there�s nothing
you can do about it!�

Rugal Bernstein: I like your style. It's certainly better than repeatedly
falling off your own building.

Geese Howard: Silence, Popeye.

% Heh



�Good enough,� Captain Japan said. �You help with the evacuation, and
I�ll be keeping a close eye on you, just in case you develop a sudden
revelation about having more in common with those animal guys than us.�

Heh. This statement is funny to me for two reasons; one, Ranma's insight into
the world of superheroes and villains are hilarious, and two, seeing Ranma
being this responsible and proactive is, well, a nice magnification of canon
Ranma's usual hero complex when Akane's in danger. 

%Thanks. This is what his father trained him to do, and after Act I, he 
accepted the role.


The remaining bombs had been recovered before detonating and sent to
some other dimension courtesy of Thor�s hammer. 

Heh. Fandom in-joke. Ah, hammerspace.

% Actually Thor early on could pierce dimensions with the enchantments 
on the hammer.



the way things had ended. He couldn�t put his finger on it, but
something felt out of place. It was a pity they hadn�t kept at least one
of the explosives, but he agreed that it had been too dangerous took
keep the sophisticated devises around when one could go off at any time.

took keep --> to keep

Hmmm... (takes note) Vague foreshadowing to a hang nail plot point. Gotcha.

% Yeah. But it has to be done, else people will cry foul later.


Japan. �Am Tigra, the Were-Woman. Tigra helped Avengers because she
wants to join. Tigra can be valuable addition to the team, just like she
prove today.�

Oh yeah. I saw her in the most recent and ill-fated Avenger cartoon series that
was lacking of an A-team. 

% She worked best in the early days of the West Coast Avengers.

Ant Man: (incensed) We don't need no stinkin' A-team!

Riiight. _Those_ version of the Avengers wore lots of 'cybernetic armor' that
was all the rage during the late nineties, too. 

% Yeah. Annoying to the Nnth Degree.


Tigra gave a wide smile, showing off her fangs. �So, too tall Swede
afraid of being upstaged by Tigra? Is probably good fear.�

Hmmm. If this is Shampoo, then she's apparently going back to basics with her
more, um, cutesy Japanese baby-talk shtick.

% Since Elektra is a wanted assassin, and Ranma said point blank he'd be 
morally obligated to throw her in jail, it would be bad for peope to put 
two and two together.


DB Sommer: Member of the Fanfiction Mailing List since �97. Come on and
join the fun for some good C+C and stories. Just send an email to
with �subscribe ffml� in subject line and you�re in.

This tag is probably most effective when you're emailing in another anime
mailing list or anywhere outside the FFML;

% Yep. I'll forget putting it anywhere else, so I put it in here

As for the fic content itself: Well now. My diagnosis? It was a fun read.
Indeed, it was. We got a great straightforward narrative (barring car-wreck
sentences), superb present-arc villains, and a charismatic main baddy with a
penchant for words as well as a new character for future plot points to boot.
Everything was resolved in a nice and (not-so) neat manner. My catharsis has
been fulfilled.

% I am trying to rotate the types of villains. Man Beast was fun to 
write this way, with his two faces, so to speak.

You mentioned time and again that descriptive imagery was never a strength of
yours. Well, it's a good thing that this perceived lack on your part is
balanced by an innate ability to get into the minds of your characters such
that you can let them 'speak for themselves', then! Man Beast(Rhyno)'s video
speech is exceptional such that, so far, not many of your characters speak or
act anything like him and when Man Beast finally made his appearance, you rose
to the occasion and portrayed him a refreshingly unique and three-dimensional
character that works in stark contrast to the usual crazies that inhabit your
fic series. 

% Well, the usual crazies are fun to work with, too. Everyone has their 
reason for doing what they do. Sometimes I even get to show way.

It shows that you can take any sort of character and portray their
personalities as clear and lucid and possible care of dialogue as well as
action; a feat that more than makes up for your inability to choke the prose
purple. ^_^

Also, I'm kind of wondering if the 'humanity-eradicating' virus will present
itself as a Chekov's Gun for future plot points or is it just a throwaway

% Macguffin, as Kodachi and everyone really want it destroyed since it 
would kill them in its current state.

Homer: Mmmmm. MacGuffin... (munches on the plot point)

Hmmm. Guess I'll just have to read future fics to find out, then.

As for the 'comic part swallowing the anime part of the fic' theory I mentioned
at the start of the fic: Yeah, from what I've read, that's exactly what's
happening in the latest chapters. Ranma's more Captain America-ish than
Ranma-ish, insert-anime-character-here is acting more like
insert-comic-counterpart-here, and this fic is slowly becoming more and more
Marvel than Anime save the occasional namedrop and character mentions.

Well, y'know what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Whether this story is
anime-like or comic-like, this is still a very good story and a very good fic

% Actually, and this won't be real evident until the start of Act V, but 
this is world building to an eventual climax. As each Act passes, events 
around the Avengers will start to dictate what happens in the future 
plot line. Everything will tie together. Things right now are slowly 
building up, but I hope it'll all make sense by the end and the puzzle 
that's slowly being put together will be complete, and it'll be fun 
building it along the way.

...I don't want to comment on Tigra until later on. I can't make heads or tails
(jeez, will the puns never stop?) of her as of yet, sooo... Yeah. Nice
resolution and nice segue to the next (and supposedly final) arc.

% Of this Act. More in the next.

Keep on
writing and maintain your discipline over chapter length and the handling of
events; this restraint over making chapters balloon into monstrous novellas
adds a little something to the fic series overall, I reckon. You've proven that
coherency, focus, and plot _resolution_ is indeed the key to avoiding the 'wide
canvas' pitfall I mentioned in my last, last C&C. 

% Well, one of the avantages of 'monster of the week' is that there is a 
feeling of some accomplishment over time. I'm hoping by the fifth arc 
the seemingly unrelated pieces will start tying together. Heck, even 
seeming one shot villains, like Hornet and Steel Lily, from the second 
act, are instrumental to the final act.

Finally, as for Man Beast's hasty defeat: No, 'hasty' isn't the term I'm
looking for. Anticlimactic as it may seem to others, the buildup for that scene
was nonetheless superb. Man Beast was indeed a plot point antagonist, and as a
plot point antagonist he died a natural death. He wasn't needlessly dragged as
a recurring villain, and his brief stint with the Ani-Men was short and sweet,

% True Marvellites know: no body, probably not death. Actually, even a 
body doesn't mean a lot. Clones, robots, mind jumping, changing time, 
changing reality, all have ressurected many a dead bad guy.

But then again, I'm more of an
anticipation-is-more-than-the-event-itself kind of guy, so other opinions may
vary with mine concerning the ultimate handling of Man Beast and the Ani-Men.
As for me, I'm not really all that shocked that their plot point was resolved
in one chapter,

% I thought it was more a two parter with 3 and 4 together.

and I'm glad they went off with a literal bang. Man Beast's my
favorite villain so far in the series, and I'm glad that he delivered the goods
(Tigra, presumably) after all that buildup since the first chapter of this arc.
That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Man Beast: (snarls at the 'pig' comment, rips my throat out)

EDIT: I've read your spoiler email. Like with Tigra, I can't really comment on
it much up until the time you actually execute your little plot point in prose.
We'll see how well it goes by then. Keep on writing, and good luck with that.

% You should see it at the start of Act IV. Actually, people familiar 
with that character and various identites will figure it out right away, 
I think.

% Anyway, thanks for the lengthy C+C. It was very helpful and certainly 

DB Sommer


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