EDUCATIONAL READING MATERIAL
a Naruto fanfic by the Eternal Lost Lurker
"Naruto" is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, ShoPro/VIZ Media,
and TV Tokyo. Used without permission.
LEMON/LIME WARNING: Some material in the following text is inappropriate for
minors or those easily offended by sexual content.
SPOILER WARNING: Minor spoilers for the second movie, the anime filler, and
part two of the manga.
============================================
Haruno Sakura stretched as she leaned against the railing of the bridge
where Team 7 traditionally met. Of course, with Naruto off somewhere on a
solo mission, and Sasuke...gone, and Kakashi doing S-rank missions almost
nonstop, such meetings were a thing of the past...
"Yo," a calm, cheerful voice greeted.
Sakura's head snapped up, her eyes wide in surprise. "Kakashi-sensei!"
The jounin smiled behind his mask, waving casually with one hand, while the
ever-present Icha Icha Paradise novel lay open in the other. "How's it been
going, Sakura-chan?" he asked.
Sakura shrugged. "Alright. I get the occasional mission, but mostly I spend
my time training alone or with Hokage-sama...and you?"
"Well, I've finally gotten a day or two off," Kakashi replied. "And just in
time, too, because the new Icha Icha Paradise just came out yesterday..."
Sakura blew at her bangs in irritation. "Ecchi," she grumbled.
"It's the consolation for the lonely life of an elite jounin," Kakashi
replied offhandedly, visible eye scanning the pages of his book as he
conversed. "Huh. Something's a bit different about this one."
"Whatever," Sakura muttered, shrugged. "Have you heard--"
"I've been helping the Sand clear the rest of Haido's forces out of Wind
Country," Kakashi cut across her. "So I haven't heard anything particularly
noteworthy except that Gaara has appointed himself Kazekage."
"Oh." The two ninja stood in awkward silence for a bit, Kakashi flipping
through his book, Sakura drumming her fingers on the bridge railing.
After a moment, the rustling of pages stopped, and Sakura glanced up to
notice Kakashi blinking rapidly at her, then glancing from the book to her
and back again. A flush tinted the visible part of his right cheek, and he
coughed pointedly, snapping his book shut and straightening up. "Ano...I
think I'm going to go...um...I promised Anko I'd buy her some dango when I
got back, um..."
Sakura's eyes narrowed. "Kakashi-sensei..."
"Seriously, Sakura-chan, it was good to catch up, but I have to be go--"
"What's in that perverted book that's got you so flustered?" Sakura asked in
a dangerous tone.
"Ah, nothing, nothing! It's just, you know..."
The book disappeared from his hand. "..."
"Sakura" disappeared from where she'd been standing, and Kakashi looked up
to see her standing on the arch at the other end of the bridge, Icha Icha
Paradise clenched firmly in her hands.
"It must be something REALLY bad if you were so flustered I snuck that
genjutsu right past you," Sakura said.
"Ah--matte, Sakura-chan!" It was too late; a kunai thrown hilt-first struck
him directly between the eyes, and the jounin sprawled out on the bridge,
unconscious.
"THIS is the legendary Sharingan Kakashi?" Sakura snorted. "Unbelievable."
Shaking her head, she opened the book and began to read...
============================================
"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune burst into the Hokage's office, waving a familiar
book with a black circle-and-slash emblem on its red cover. "We have a
problem!"
Tsunade raised an eyebrow at the younger kunoichi, then accepted the book
and began to flip through it. Her left eye began to twitch. After a few
minutes, she angrily tore the book in half. "JIRAIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....!!!!"
============================================
Haruko sat on the bed, clad only in lacy pink panties; her green
eyes glittered in the moonlight as she smiled at her lover. "Uzuki-
kun," she purred, "come on...I'm waiting..."
They made love, their cries of passion filling the night with the
sound of wild animals in heat. Every kiss, every caress, every thrust
made Haruko cry out louder and louder, begging for more and more from
her lover. Uzuki was only too happy to comply, burying himself as deep
inside her as he could; with the force of a mighty river, he came inside
her; she shuddered and rubbed her lithe body against him, urging him to
keep going...
============================================
Sakura twitched. "Ugh, what kind of hack writes this crap?"
It took a few moments for the names and details to register. "Wait a
minute..."
============================================
"MAKITO-NIICHAN! What are you doing with my Haruko?"
The confused young woman looked between the man she was straddling and
the identical blonde man standing in the doorway. Her eyes widened in
shock. "Uzuki...?"
The man making love to her grinned broadly. "Oi, Uzuki! Great chick
you got here. Hope you don't mind I borrowed her."
"The hell I don't mind, you...!"
"Calm down, little bro. Calm down. There's enough of her for both of
us, ne?"
Uzuki froze, blinking...then smiled. Haruko really didn't like the
look of that smile.
"Chotto...UzukEEEEEEEEEEEP! Aaaaaaaaah, no! Don't....mmmfph!"
============================================
Sakura began to twitch violently.
============================================
Haruko lay gasping and panting, covered in sweat and love juices,
flanked on either side by an identical, handsome blonde youth. "That..."
she breathed out. "You two...Uzuki...Makito..."
"You were right, niichan," Uzuki said between gasps for breath.
"I always am."
"What's going on here?!" a female voice shrieked. The three lovers
looked up to see a shocked, wide-eyed girl with long blonde hair and
bright blue eyes staring at the scene in horror and confusion.
"Who...?" Haruko asked.
Uzuki grinned. "Runa-chan! You haven't been around in a while!"
"Runa-chan?" Haruko asked, glaring at the new girl.
"That's our little sister," Makito said. Then, he grinned again.
"Ano...niichan..." Uzuki gulped. "You're NOT thinking..."
============================================
"Ah! Ah! Oniichan...no! Not there...ooooooh..."
"Uzuki...kun..."
"Nnnn...Haruko...."
"Runa-chan...."
"Oniichan...oooohhhh...."
============================================
The book fell to the bridge with a thump. Sakura stood frozen in place, left
eye twitching rapidly, veins throbbing in her forehead, hands forming claws
which flexed as though strangling someone.
"I'LL KILL HIM!!!"
============================================
Naruto shivered, huddling further into his orange jacket. "I just felt a
cold chill down my back," he muttered. Up ahead, the gates of Konoha loomed.
"It's good to be home...but why do I get this sudden feeling...?"
Tsunade suddenly appeared in front of him. "Naruto. Have you seen that
perverted old--"
"NAAAAARUUUUUUUUUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....!!" An extremely pissed-off
pink-haired kunoichi roared as she charged toward the gates with the force
of an entire stampeding herd of bulls, raising a ten meter tall dust cloud
in her wake.
The blonde genin yelped, turned tail, and ran. Tsunade angry--and boy did
she look angry--was bad enough, but the look of pure murderous rage on
Sakura's face was enough to make *ITACHI* shit himself.
"FORGOTSOMETHINGGOTTAGOBACKFORITBYEGOODTOSEEYOUSAKURACHAN!"
"GET! BACK! HERE! YOU! PERVERTED! LITTLE! ***FREAK!!!***"
Tsunade stared after them, blinking. "What...just happened...?"
"I wonder what he could've done to piss her off so badly," Shizune commented
from where she had just appeared next to Tsunade.
The older woman shook her head. "No idea. He hadn't even set foot back in
the village yet--that has to be a new record." Sighing, she turned and
headed back for the gate. "Dammit, and now I have no idea how to find that
bastard Jiraiya..." She clenched her fist. "He'll pay for that...book..."
She trailed off. "Wait a minute."
Shizune's eyes widened. "You don't think...?"
The two women looked at the cloud of dust disappearing over the horizon,
then as one:
"Naaaaah."
Crows flew overhead, cawing as the two kunoichi walked back into Konoha.
(End notes: The entire notion of this story revolves around episode 177 of
the anime, in which Naruto ghost-writes a manuscript for Jiraiya's Icha Icha
Paradise series of erotic novels.)
================================
This message brought to you by the
Bay Area Association of Liquor Pirates:
"We're Here, We're Queer, And We're
STEALIN' YER BEER!!"
~~*~~
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'