Angus MacSpon wrote:

And to show that I am indeed still writing, though the rest of this
might be a little time coming. Anyway, here's the prolgue to the last
chapter to Act 2
   

And, to make up for certain snarky comments earlier, herewith some
comments... ^_^
 

% They were fun to read.

Commenting as I read, without having gone through the chapter first.
 

% The way I always do thinks. Multitasking, don't you know.

Prologue

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jonas Hale, Roxxon�s Oil and Gas operations chief, surveyed the sparse
   

If Roxxon decided to diversify into the porn industry, would they
name their daughter company Roxxoff?
 

% Heh.

 


Incidentally I note that you've got smart quotes enabled.  They seem to
be coming through okay, but just a heads-up.
 

% Odd. They should have been disabled. Now I have to see if I can turn 
them off again.

�Seal the door and load it on the transport.� Jonas ordered. As the
   

Comma after "transport".
 

% Used the grammar corrections, as always.

Jonas looked around to ascertain the two were indeed alone, then began.
�When the Challengers of the Fantastic and Fantastic Four defeated
Prester John, his weapon, the so-called �Evil Eye of Avalon� was
   

Info dump!  Info dump!  Seal all airtight doors!
Not a big Marvel reader, sorry, so I don't recognise most of the names.
(Apart from the F4, obviously.)
 

% Actually I did this for three reasons:

1: Purely like using the crossover elements and name dropping to show 
contiunity.
2: I wanted to show that other things happen outside of the Avengers 
sphere of influence, as well as identifying the device Roxxen is trying 
to uncover.
3: I wanted to show that the two teams work together from time to time. 
This is important as one of the weapons they captured from Psycho Man is 
going to be used in Act III.

Jonas pointed to the giant container. �That mobile vault is made of
adamantium. Not adamantium steel. Pure adamantium.� He watched as
someone applied a liquid to the seal. Within seconds it hardened. �And
now that the piece of the Eye is inside, the door itself is now sealed
with adamantium we had been keeping in its liquid state. Now that it�s
hardened, even we can�t open it. At least not here. The only way to open
it is with a molecular rearranger, and it�s not like you can pick one up
in your local department store.�
   

Obviously he does not shop at the right department stores.
 

% Molecular rearrangers are hideously expensive to the point even a 
moneybags like Tony Stark won't leave one around Avengers mansion to 
fight Ultron with.

The leader handed a number of documents to the guards that confronted
them, giving a maniacal laugh that chilled Yoshihiro to the bone.
   

 

But Jonas simply have a maniacal laugh in return, to be friendly.
 

% No. Jonas is early corporate slimeball.

% Ironically, Roxxen was a normal oil company until the Second Serpent 
Squad put the Serpent Crown on Hugh Jones head. The temporary connection 
with Set turned him into one of Marvel's early corporate bad guys.

�It�s Gibbon! Not Monkey Boy! Gibbon! Gibbon!� The little man began
dancing, resembling nothing so much as an irate monkey.
   

He's doing the Funky Gibbon?
 

% Gibbon is one of Marvel's now purely joke characters. Sadly, he was 
kind of taken seriously in his first appearance.

Crimson Commando looked at the man in confusion. Then he said, �Oh,
right. That�s Mr. Anonymous. He�s so plain, he tends to blend in to the
background. Don�t feel bad. I forget he�s on the team most of the time,
too.�

�Wait, there�re five of us?� Gibbon asked.

Mr. Anonymous� sigh was so passive, no one knew he had made it.
   

Heh.
 

% HIs real name is something that starts with an I. I don't remember 
because he faded into the background about two episodes after he showed up.

Jonas nodded. �Now that the introductions are out of the way, here�s
your mission.�

�Game plan,� Crimson Commando corrected.
   

Heh.
 

% I should note Himura is whacked out enough to make his football team 
into superheroes if he felt so inclined.

The one with the serpentine lower half spoke. �And I am Bushmaster. My
abilities are� self-explanatory.� His lower half lashed back and forth.
   

He ... masters bushes?
 

% I smell a porn plot coming up.

% All right, maybe not.

% Somewhere out there is a snake fetish site, though. *Shudder*

�They aren�t too tight, are they?� Super Sabre asked, concern in his voice.

Her writhing increased . �No, but I can�t move a muscle, and it�s really
turning me on.�
   

Heh.
 

% The girl slept with Cobra. She has to have issues.

Coachwhip tried wiggling toward him. �Whip my ass! You know you want to!�

Super Sabre ran away from her in terror.
   

Hm.  Which of them does that count as a win for?  ^_^
 

% Draw

�Maybe superheroeing won�t get us killed after all,� Super Sabre said in
relief.
   

Not sure the third "e" belongs there in "superheroeing".
 

% I cut it, though I doubt there is such a word as superheroing period. :)

The villain clapped. �Bravo. Nice work. I sincerely thought those four
would do better with their audition.�

�Audition? What is this? Tryouts for �Super-villain Idol�?� Crimson
Commando snapped.
   

Well, dang.  I'd watch that program.
 

% Heh. I would too.

Super Sabre�s unconscious body skidded across the ground at a speed in
excess of one hundred kilometer an hour. He kicked up a dust cloud that
stretched for a full kilometer before friction and inertia forced him to
stop.
   

Aye, there's the rub ...
 

% It's classic as well when superspeedsters get taken out.

Crimson Commando knew it was over,
   

He's forgotten his last member, obviously.  Mr ... Mr ... ooh, it's right
on the tip of my tongue ...  ^_^
 

% Heh. Yeah, everyone forgot about him.

A lead pipe to the back of the head sent her to the ground.
   

Ayup.
 

% By this point it is possible the reader has forgotten about him.

Mr. Anonymous found himself set upon by over a dozen super villains, and
learned the hard way that sometimes anonymity was a blessing.
   

Uh-huh.
 

% Amen.

After beating the hero within an inch of his life, the serpents backed
away, though they double-checked the area to make sure no one else was
lurking in the background.
   

Like, for example, Jonas and Yoshihiro, last seen taking cover with their
guards?
 

% Nah. They ran for it when the guard were getting beaten.

Now certain the area was secure, Sidewinder walked over to the vault. A
beautiful woman in a skimpy skin tight black outfit, and adorned with a
trio of lifelike small snakes wrapped around her body, examined the vault.
   

Is there some kind of natural law (other than male hormones) that says
all female heroes or villains wear skin-tight outfits?
 

% Heh. I didn't get to Anaconda. She's one of the few Marvel females 
that's built like a linebacker. Definitely goes against the 'hot and 
sexy' mold.

What do they do about chafing?
 

% Luckily, unstable molecules don't cause chafing, though Asp's outfit 
isn't that tight, and Mamba looks like she's wearing a one piece 
swimsuit. (I'm thinking either her or Asp were exotic dancers before 
they became supervillains)

�Teleportation. Not much of an offensive power, but unparalleled in
obtaining hard to get merchandise.� Sidewinder held a peculiar device in
his hand. It almost appeared to be a holder for a torch, in approval.
   

"in approval" doesn't seem to go with the rest of the sentence.
 

% Yeah. I did a major revision there and forgot to cut that part.

Cottonmouth then showed his superhuman ability as his jaw literally
dropped a foot and a half, showing off a set of razor sharp teeth. He
lunged forward, his mouth widening to inhuman dimensions as he engulfed
Fer De Lance�s entire head. His jaws shut with an audible snap. There
was the sound of bone breaking as he drew his head back.

Fer De Lance�s headless corpse sprayed blood everywhere as the body fell
backward, spasming reflexively.
   

... Okay, that I didn't see coming ...
 

No one should have. Given the number of bad guys in the Serpent Society 
(oh yes, there are still a handful to introduce individually. (Anaconda, 
Diamondback, Cobra, and I think a couple of others), having one die and 
another quit only helps things.

Oh yeah, Boomslang and Slither (who was more Viper's personal flunky) 
are not in this grouping either.

this cozy little hideaway in Hawaii for our base of operations. No dark
dank fortresses in the middle of nowhere for us. It�ll be fun in the sun
and ocean waves lapping at our feet��
   

Goldfish shoals nibbling at their toes?
 

% Heh.

Okay, as a teaser this is ... teasing.  I don't recognise any of the
characters, so it'll be interesting to see where hey fit in.  Will look
forward to the complete chapter.
 

% I'll be sure to get to it eventually. In the meantime, thanks for the 
comments. They are greatly appreciated and helped a lot. I'm also sort 
of glad I did this part as a prologue because I knew it woudl last long.

% DB Sommer

Cheers,
Angus

 

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