Pete Zaitcev wrote:

On Sun, 21 Aug 2005 21:37:35 -0400, DB Sommer <sommert@connecttime.net> wrote:

 

Kagura said, "You're on a new diet, aren't you?"

"Wow! How did you know?"

"Lucky guess."
   

I see how the joke is set up and I approve wholeheartedly. However,
it would be really nice to see what Chiyo did after that. Only how
to work it in...
 

% Since these are quick gags, I can't really dawdle and nothing came to 
me .

Chiyo said, "You forgot your lunch and are trying to mooch off ours, 
aren't you?"
   

That's something Tomo should be saying, methinks.
 

% Yeah, you and HK were right. Will change.

Tomo's arms went flying outward, sending the ball away as she fell 
backward, nearly unconscious.
   

Uncharacteristic determination in her features, she turned to the nearly 
unconscious Tomo and said, [...]
   

One of these "nearly unconscious" has to go, IMHO.
 

% I'll dump the first for something else.

Overall, you are getting slicker with these stories than I thought was
possible for a mere human. Hmm, wait a second...

-- Pete

P.S. What is the connection with a Bader Fan group? Inquiring minds want
to know.
 

% I used to post there and still do out of habit. I did forget to CC a 
copy of this to the Azumanga fanart-fic group, though, and will have to 
send another coopy there.

% Thanks for the help.

DB Sommer

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