Elsa Bibat wrote:

Blame the boys and girls over at the Drunkard's Walk Forums.

	Oh, sure, it's all OUR fault.  Pbbbbbbb!

Anyway, enjoy for awhile.

	Always.

Set in the Dances continuity, this is where the "And Beyond" part
of the .sig below comes in.

*************************************************

DANCES SET TO THE MUSIC OF TIME An Epic History of Humanity From
The Age of Silver To The Age of Crystal And Beyond

http://rakhal.com/florestica/elsa-bibat/index.html

Other fanfiction by the same author: 
http://rakhal.com/florestica/elsa-bibat/index.html

Kindly archived by Larry F and The Lost Library of Florestica: 
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ 
*************************************************

	Hark!  'tis the Bibat-signal!  Quickly, Boy Blunder, to the C&C Cave!

-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis -- -- File:
naruto1.txt

Chapter 1

Of Omens and Visitations

"It was the darkest time in the history of the Fire Country. The
Hidden Village of Wood had been destroyed by a combined attack of
the Rock and Lightning, the earth and the heavens felling the great
trees that were the village's backbone. Earth Country and Cloud
Country soldiers were already following in the wake of the shinobi
attack.

Kidame Yukishiro, the person who would be the Shodaime Hokage of

	"would become" perhaps?

the Leaf, fought a losing battle to keep what ninja he had. He and
Hino Tatsuya, Daimyo of the Fire Country were faced with total 
annihilation of their nation.

	"Country,"

At their greatest moment of need, like some divine spirit, came the
Heaven's Arrow. Streaking red across the skies and ripping the

	Maybe "Heaven's Arrow" (no 'the') or The Arrow Of Heaven?

ground in its passage, this falling heavenly body, then regarded as
 messenger from the sky realms, could not have come at a better

	"as a messenger"

time. As if guided by a friendly hand, it smashed into the greatest

	Maybe friendly<>benevolent?

concentration of enemy troops and cut a swathe through their supply
lines like a reaper at harvest.

	"MIKE!  How many times have I told you, that time machine is NOT A TOY!"
	(Well, waddaya know -- the Moon really *is* a Harsh Mistress)

This event turned the tide of the war and, more importantly,
changed the fate of the world."

	Providential, but not unprecedented.  There's the original Divine 
Wind that saved Japan from the Chinese(?) fleet, and the storm that 
saved England from the Spanish Armada.  And I'm sure there are more.

---- A History of the Leaf, published in the fifth year of the
Yondaime Hokage's reign.


Kidame Tsunade, Godaime Hokage stared up at the moon with a grim

	Hokage,

countenance on her beautiful face. Usually, she would have
appreciated the full moon greatly, having had it as her companion
on many a night's drinking. But this was no friendly, silver face
that shone from the heavens. The bright circle of the moon was the
color of blood. It had been that way since moonrise. The citizens

	Pretty much rules out a standard lunar eclipse, then.

of Konohagakure, and most likely a majority of the world's
populataion, were in a rather tense state. This was understandable
on the whole. Any unnatural event made the populace twitchy. But,
for the people of the Leaf, the crimson orb in the sky had an even
more sinister significance. The last time a red moon had risen, it
had heralded the arrival of the Nine-tailed Demon Fox. Tsunade was
a medic-nin by training, thus more exposed to logic and science
than most persons in the world, but even she was discomfited by the
sight of this particular lunar anomaly. Of course, her rational
mind went over the possible scenarios - volcanic explosions,
atmospheric disturbances and the natural weirdness of nature but,
in her heart, superstition reigned. She sighed. Thankfully, Naruto
had left over a year ago with Jiraiya for a planned three-year 
training trip. She'd probably have had a linch mob on her hands if

	SP:  lynch.  I suspect 'linch' got past your spellchecker because 
it's part of 'linch-pin' and other perfectly cromulent words.

he was still here. As it was, some of the more prominent clans had,
earlier that night, politely suggested an ANBU team sent out to 

	What, a team of fansubbers?  :)

check on the young ninja's progress. She had diplomatically told
them that they were all idiots and were acting like old hens. She

	Oh, to have been a fly on the wall...

sighed and turned away from the sight. Enough of this. Still more
paperwork to do and not even probably the world's end would save
her from it.

	Awkward construction.  Sug: "...to do, and probably not even..." or 
"to do, and not even the probable end of the world..."

A young blonde boy frowned at the bloody moon. It had been a year
since he had left the village of his birth and the travails of the

	birth,

road and training were noticeably taking effect. The growth spurt
that he was in the middle of helped a bit, too. Having grown a few
inches in height, he had discarded the orange jumpsuit that was his
trademark and shifted into the black shorts and orange jacket
ensemble he was currently wearing. His lanky frame was slowly
starting to fill out to a well-muscled form and it was noticeable.
Squinting his bright blue eyes at the scarlet heavenly body, he
muttered his discontent. "That really freaks me out." Jiraiya

	Sug:  'discontent:'

looked up from his little notebook and arched a white eyebrow. 
"Just dust in the air, Naruto. I heard from a friend of mine that
there's been a rather bad volcanic eruption in one of the Eastern
Isles. All the stuff got thrown out by the volcano's in the air and
it makes the moon look red." Giving the Toad Sannin a disbelieving

	Maybe add a paragraph break before 'Giving'.

look, he turned away from the red orb in the sky and sat down
beside the fire. "Just gives me the creeps. The guys after me _are_
named 'red moon', after all." The white-haired hermit snorted. "The

	And maybe here too, before "The white-haired'

Akatsuki's powerful, yes, but not _that_ powerful. They're not some
monster from the old tales like Gojira or the Beryl Queen. They're

	"The Beryl Queen"?  Haven't heard it put that way before.  Hm.

just bugfuck crazy shinobi with delusions of grandeur." "Bugfuck

	Change of speaker.  Suggest a paragraph break again.

crazy _powerful_ shinobi. Heck, if Sasuke's bro and that Kisame guy
are anything to go by, they're powerful enough." Throwing another
stick in the fire, Naruto squinted into the flames. Jiraiya
smirked. "Which is why we're on this training trip. You're a lot
better fighter now than a year ago, kid. Better _and_ smarter, if I
should say so myself." The young blonde nodded grudgingly. He was

	Blond.  Unless their training trip included Jusenkyo.
	(an aquatranssexual Naruto.  Or Sasuke, or Sakura.  Now *there's* a 
'fic possibility to boggle the mind...)

feeling the effects of the training already. His stamina and and
speed had increased by leaps and bounds the past few months. The
old pervert had also been sharpening his combat instincts to a
finer edge, seeking to teach the younger ninja the creativity in
battle that had been the hallmark of the victorious warrior since
time immemorial. The thought of showing Sasuke how creative he was

	Sug:  'how creative he had become'

the next time they met made his mouth stretch into a predatory
grin, though his heart still ached at his rival/friend's betrayal. 

	Oog.  That doesn't sound good.  I know very little Naruto, so I don't 
know if that's canon or not.

Still, times like these, he was feeling a bit homesick. Ichiraku's
ramen would have sure hit the spot better than trail food and he

	food,

would have appreciated a bit more company than just Jiraiya. Before
leaving Konoha a year ago, he had managed to gather a rather
impressive circle of friends. Well, impressive for someone who
didn't actually have any before Ninja Academy graduation. Naruto

	Sug:  'had never had any before'

sighed and he wondered what Sakura might be doing right now. 
Probably sleeping in a nice, soft bed, Naruto thought as he glanced
at the grass covered ground, strewn with soft leaves, that would be
his sleeping arrangement for the night. His reverie was interuppted
when he felt Jiraiya tense. Making no sudden movements, Naruto's
hand crept to his kunai holster, waiting a signal from Jiraiya to
move.

	He *has* gotten smarter.  I know enough Naruto to recognize *that.*

"Hello the fire!" A man's voice called to them as a figure waved to
them from the trail, several meters away. It held a staff in one
hand, while a bulky package seemed to be set on its back. "Yes?"

	Package?  Maybe, 'pack of some kind'?

Jiraiya responded while calmly gauging possible avenues of attack

	responded,

and escape. They had sheltered in a small clearing within sight of
the dirt road that was the primary travelling route for this part
of the Fire Country. A stream was not far away and had been the
source of their dinner for the night. The trees that surrounded
them were rather sparse, but provided shelter enough for the clear
summer evening. The trail itself was located on a higher incline
than their shelter so that the man had the higher ground if he
threatened them with violence. Making seal with one handed, Jiraiya

	'a seal'?

sent out his chakra in the manner that he did when he was doing his
'research', he sensed the immediate vicinity for further guests
while seeking to determine the nature of the man on the road with
his empowered senses, taking care to make his probing as
unnoticeable as possible. A calm sea of chakra met his probe. A

	Run-on sentence.  Sug: "...'research.'  He..."

normal human with a modicum of chakra training it seemed, though
the sea seemed to be an ocean for a moment. Perfectly normal since

	'Ocean' has a connotation larger than 'sea,' but 'sea' still seems 
pretty big for 'a modicum of chakra training.'  Maybe 'pool,' 'pond,' 
or 'lake'?

most of the wanderers on the road had learned a few tricks to
protect themselves; the cities might have protected the roads near
to them but distant travellers walked roads too far from
civilization to have a magistrate or a shinobi patrol maintain
them. No one else accompanied the man, though the Toad Sannin 
stretched his chakra radar to its limit to be sure. This  > perfunctory search took a few seconds in which the man responded to
his earlier query. "A fellow wanderer of the world, seeking a
little company on the road of life." Jiraiya perked up at that. The
phrase would have been a little flowery and eccentric, but no one
would have noticed the code hidden in it, except if they knew what

	Sug:  "...phrase would have seemd a little flowery and eccenrtic to 
most people,... unless they knew..."

they were looking for. One of the Order was here? It would have
explained why the man had approached him and Naruto. The Toad
Sannin may not have been a full member, but he was technically an
honorary one after that little adventure with the geisha in the
Earth Country daimyo's court a few years ago. That the Order had

	Oooh!  Backstory hints!  :)

taken a bit of interest in Naruto was a bit troubling, but they
were usually a good sort. Well, the good sort for a secret society

	Sug:  "...were usually good sorts."

who occasionally pulled the strings of the various countries on the
continent. They weren't angling for world domination or anything as
sinister as that. Just the continous run of prosperity and peace
that made the right sort of men rich. Which is why they hated the
Akatsuki and their rather disruptive actions with a vengeance, 
though there seemed to be another reason why the Order of the

	Sug:  "...although it seemed that was not the only reason..."

Crescent seemed to be wanting to take the missing nins down. 
Pushing away his suspicions for thge moment, Jiraiya responded with
the second half of the recognition code while giving Naruto the
stand-down signal. The enemy of your enemy is, at the very least,
not going to kill you today, after all. "Then come on down and

	Well, unless they signed a secret agreement to unite against *you,* 
and you haven't found out yet...

share with us our journey, till our paths!" The man laughed and he

	Um, 'till our paths' what?
	Drop the 'he'

shouldered something on his back as he descended the incline 
towards the fire. When he entered the circle of firelight, Jiraiya

	He already had a pack on his back -- maybe he just adjusted the way 
it was sitting on his shoulders?

noted that the man held a well-worn walking staff in his hand in a
grip which could easily shift into a staff-fighter's hold. The
hands themselves were smooth in a way that only a scholar's or a
weapon-user's could be. A young smiling bespectacled face greeted

	???  While I lack direct experience, IIRC weapon users who practice 
enough to get really good develop calluses that accomodate their grip 
on said weapon.  Of course, while he has the staff in-hand, those 
calluses might not be openly *visible.*  On that hand, at least.

them. The Order operative seemed to be a little too young for this
sort of work but he radiated a rather serene aura that Jiraiya
instantly liked. The man's brown hair was tied in a short ponytail
and he was wearing a black tradesman's gi and hakama. The package
on his back was a large wooden box that the Toad Sannin recognized
as a travelling medicine salesman's carrying case. The trade was

	...hold on.  No, it can't be Saito, his hair is black, and I don't 
recall him wearing it in a ponytail....

still a profitable one, even with the advent of doctor's clinics in

	Maybe 'medical'<>'doctor's'?

the cities; smaller towns depended on the wandering medicine men as
impromptu healers since most of the towns were too small to support
a practicing doctor while those of the medical profession

	doctor,

themselves often had to resort to these merchants to keep them
supplied with the herbs that were often the primary pharmaceuticals
of the Five Countries, some of the more advanced medicinal items
being too expensive except for the subsidized government
institutions of the larger cities and Hidden villages. This made

	..whew!  That's a loooong sentence.  Needs a bit of breaking up, maybe.

them rather welcome in most places, making them also the perfect
spies for the Order. "Thank you for the hospitality, friend! I saw

	Hm... the way that sentence is constructed, it sounds like the Order 
is hiring travelling pharmecists to be their spies.  But I suspect 
it's more that the Order trains their people so that they can use that 
role as a cover.
	In which case, Sug:  "...places, which also made it the perfect cover 
for the Order's spies."

the smoke from your fire down the way and hoped for a little
company on the road. With the moon like this, better to be safe
than sorry." The young man set the staff down in an obvious gesture

	Plus, Saito didn't carry a staff -- he hid a zatoichi down his spine.

that emphasized that he was no threat. He shrugged off the case and
set it down with the company mark of his particular trading house
facing Jiraiya. Jiraiya smiled thinly as he noticed the crescent
mark on the medicine case which confirmed his deductions. He was
going to have to ask Master Frog how he managed to locate them the
next time he dropped by the capital. Turning his smile to a grin,

	Now, Jiraiya's the one who wears his forehead protector slanted over 
one eye, and always has everything below his visible eye covered, 
right?  If he's still wearing his headgear that way, it's gonna be 
hard for anyone to see his facial expressions.

he stood up and offered his hand. "No problems, young man. Me and
the kid would appreciate the company. My name's Jiraiya, while the
blonde brat's Naruto. What's your name, friend?" Eyes twinkling

	blond.

with humor behind his spectacles, the Order operative smiled as he
shook the Toad Hermit's hand. For a moment, those eyes seemed to
Jiraiya be older than they looked. "Hojo's the name. Kamiya Hojo,
travelling medicine man, at your service!"  As the moon bathed the

	Huh.  There needs to be a break, here, but I'm not sure if it's on 
your end, or if Thunderbird re-wrapped things oddly on mine.  <checks 
original>  Ah, my bad -- it looks like Thunderbird removed your 
blank-line breaks when I had it re-wrap.  For some reason, when I hit 
"REPLY," Tbird lets the quoted materials spread to several words wider 
than my window.  It's a pain...

outer walls of Konoha in crimson light, a small black shadow 
slipped through the vigilance of the Leaf Shinobi standing guard.
That young man may be excused of missing the interloper. No ninja

	Sug:  'may' <> 'might'/'could'

could have suspected such a small form could be a threat. Not to 

	They've never meet Happousai.

mention that the intruder was several centuries older than the
sentry. Experience always beat out youth, after all. Thus, this

	...until now, maybe?  Wait, no, Ranma isn't in the Xover header.

small piece of the night, silent and sleek, moved with feline grace
as it entered the Hidden Village of the Leaf.

	Cliffhanger!  Waaaaaah!




             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'