"Bert Miller" wrote:

Nice story; I approve.  But not a great deal to say, as
it turned out.

Anything is better than nothing. 

Quoting DB Sommer <sommert@connecttime.net>:

Or at least dressed like a girl, since going for
normal was aiming a bit too high.

Heh.

It is, though

Yukari stared at Tomo. "Asking implies a level of
concern about you on my part that simply doesn't
exist."

Heh.  That's kind of articulate (at least in Japanese)
for Yukari, but it is funny.

And true, sadly enough.

Kaorin made a choking sound. "She is not. Sakaki is
the cutest girl in class."

This discussion reads kind of funny to me, given that
they're using "cutest".  How about "handsomest"?

It's the middle ground between man and woman in looks. 

Toward the front of the class, Sakaki turned a shade
of crimson reserved for ripe tomatoes

...Even if she's THIS red?

Sakaki's reaction would have to change if you used
"handsomest", though.

Yeah, another reason I like it as is.

Tomo's voice bellowed, "Hey there, Buddy, you'd
better be ready for the fight of your life when you
go hitting on another man's woman."

Heh.  Although one wonders what Tomo would have done if
Yuuto had accepted her challenge...

Gotten her head handed to her.

"It happens in the movies all the time."

Yes, both Ranma feature films.

And others. 

The girls gathered on one side of the track, 
preparing for a hundred meter dash. As Kagura
stretched out on the ground, Tomo walked over to her,
smirking.

No mention of which gym uniform Tomo's wearing?

Nah. Thought is safer that way.

 you bullshit as much as any guy."

Heh.

And she does too

...and made fun of the idiot who did it for years."

Sudden enlightenment on who she's talking about...

And more coming

"---definitely not in any way shape or form Minamo

"way, shape, or form"  (at least I'd write it that way)

Will change. Thanks for the help.

DB Sommer


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