Michael P. Hopcroft wrote:

Given how wretched I was just told my writing, personality, and the very
fact that i continue to lvie are, i feel ill-qualified to comment. But
I'm not smart enough to not try.

I'd prefer you did try, if it's all the same to you.

The Cross Dressing Caper
An Azumanga Daioh Fic

"We can get our ahdns on the Sveen Treasures of the School!" tomo cired.

"Where are they?" Osaka asked.

"In the boy's lcoekr room. I have a cunning plan....."

Heh

And Yomi heaved an inward sigh, dreading the next three hours the way
she had dreaded her last root canal.

Root canals take way the pain you're suffering from though. I made the 
mistake of not getting one done for a year. Only ended up doing it because 
the tooth shattered, or I'd probably still be horsing around about it. Boy 
was I stupid for waiting.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tomo shook her head. "It's true. All they have to do is act macho and they 
get everything handed to them. It's disgusting!"

In this series, they don't even do that. You could be less unisex in an
all-girls school.

Heh

"Listen to me. That is not a new student. That's Tomo Tokino. The one 
you've been friends with for the last two years. She's only dressed up in 
a guy's uniform, and is not now nor ever has been a guy."

"Oh." A puzzled expression replaced Osaka's awe. "So asking Tomo out is a 
bad idea, huh?"

Yomi just let her head sink to the desk.

Osaka asking anyone out would be very amusing. In fact, seeing any of
the girls try to go out on a date would be very amusing. I imagine one
of the dares among the boys at the school is "I bet you can't get a date
with Chiyo Mihara", without telling the poor sap just who Chiyo is. It's
probably a hazing ritual that all the male transfer students have to go
through.

Who knows, perhaps I'll do a date story at some point. You know it'll end 
badly.

Toward the front of the class, Sakaki turned a shade of crimson reserved 
for ripe tomatoes while Tomo simply preened.

Poor Chihiro. I think you could do some interesting things with her as
the 'straight girl" against the zaniness that surrounds the core group.

Yomi kind of fills that role already, though.

Tomo's arm wrapped itself affectionately around Yomi's shoulder. "Yeah, 
this is the main squaw in my harem, if you know what I mean."

The weird thing is that, at least in her own mind, Tomo might well be
TELLING THE TRUTH. i have always had my own suspicions about the
Yomi/Tomo dynamic. The fact that Yomi even PUTS UP with Tomo's behavior
seems to imply that she has some sort of sesne of responsibility towards
the other girl. i can easily see their relationship extending into areas
they choose not to talk about in public.

I don't really do yuri with Azu myself. My mind just doesn't work along 
those lines.

"Maybe I was just looking for a good time too! Did you ever think of that, 
huh?!"

Then again, this is the first suggestion I've seen that Yomi might not
be a virgin (at least with boys).

Nah. She was just countering Tomo's argument, not meant to imply she has 
fooled around.

"No way. She couldn't have." Yomi said.

This is TOMO we're talking about. OF COURSE she could have.

And probably did so several times. :)

"Girls are not allowed in the boys' locker room!" Nyamo shouted at her as 
she released the hold on Tomo's arm.

"What about girls pretending to be guys?"

"Not them either."

ESPECIALLY not them. At least Naymo got Tomo otu before events could get
totally out of control, as on:

"OK, time for teack." said Nyamo.

"That's funny, where are all the guys?" Osaka asked.

"And I don't see Tomo either." Yomi added. Realziiation dawned. "She
couldn't be...."

"What could one girl do with fifteen guys?" Chiyo aksed.

"Nothing YOU need to hear aboiut...." Yomi answered with a huff. "I'm
goign to go get her."

"Should I telol Nyamo?" asked Osaka.

"No, I don't think so. That's spoil the fun."

Chiyo started after her. "I like to have fun too...."

'YOU are not going ANYWHERE!"

Heh. That would be evil.

"It happens in the movies all the time."

What movies does Tomo watch?

DON'T ANSWER THAT!

Heh

Osaka said, "I thought it was because he was born on a farm on the same 
day a mule was, and they named him after the animal."

"Yep. He was showing us pictures of the mule," Tomo said. "It even looks 
like him."

Perfect little note. The funniest double-entendres are the ones that
turn out to be completely innocent.

Yep, although the next one isn't innocent.

"Tomo!" Nyamo barked. "We don't talk like that in this locker room.

"OK, is there another locker room we can go to to talk about this?"

Heh

And the true worth of a man is measured by his heart, not how. big he is."

"Eh?" Tomo looked at her curiously. "That's not what you said at the 
beach. You said size is an important factor when looking for guys."

And now the rest of the class knows what happened at the beach house.

Nah. Assume this happens only within the group of girls.

"Yep, back in high school I knew someone that cross-dressed once, though 
it was for less noble reasons than yours. In fact, it was one of the most 
eventful incidents in the history of the school."

"Tell us," Tomo insisted. Almost against their will, the other girls 
nodded in agreement with Tomo.

Yukari began, "It's a tale of misunderstandings, debauchery, love 
triangles, and some serious bitch-slapping. I laughed for weeks and made 
fun of the idiot who did it for years."

And a tale I REALLY want to hear now.

Some things are best left to the reader's imagination, and the writer only 
need drop some vague hints with which to fuel them.

"What? This?" Tomo fingered her outfit. "Actually, I did come dressed as a 
guy again, but someone else was cross-dressing too and, as much as I hate 
to admit it, she looked better than me. I know when I'm outclassed, so I 
switched back to skirts, make-up, and tampons."

TMI, Tomo.TMI.

I've known women to talk like this amongst themselves, though

"Ch.Chiyo-chan," Yomi said.

"It's Chiyo-kun now." Chiyo tried grumbling in a tough guy tone, but her 
voice was so high-pitched it simply made her more endearing.

Where did thney find a boy's unfoirm in her size? Unless, of course, it
was a uniform that WASN'T in her size, which actually makes the joke
funnier. "Didn't you used to have hands, Chiyo-kun?"

She's rich. A rush order for her was all that was needed.

Yomi felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she softly intoned, "Cute" in a 
way that would have done Sakaki proud. Maybe there was something to be 
said about cross-dressing after all.

And Tomo flies into a jealous rage. "Hey, that's MY bitch!"

Heh

"That's funny. Yomi doesn't look like a dog at all."

Very funny story, with enough subtext to choke the Anaconda's girlfeiend.

Ha. Cute. Thanks for the comments.

DB Sommer

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