Subject: [FFML] Re: [Azumanga] The Cross Dressing Caper
From: "Michael P. Hopcroft" <michael@mphpress.com>
Date: 5/12/2005, 8:50 PM
To: ffml@anifics.com


Given how wretched I was just told my writing, personality, and the very
fact that i continue to lvie are, i feel ill-qualified to comment. But
I'm not smart enough to not try.

DB Sommer wrote:

The Cross Dressing Caper
An Azumanga Daioh Fic
 

"We can get our ahdns on the Sveen Treasures of the School!" tomo cired.

"Where are they?" Osaka asked.

"In the boy's lcoekr room. I have a cunning plan....."

And Yomi heaved an inward sigh, dreading the next three hours the way
she had dreaded her last root canal.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tomo shook her head. "It's true. All they have to do is act macho and they get everything handed to them. It's disgusting!"

 

In this series, they don't even do that. You could be less unisex in an
all-girls school.

"Listen to me. That is not a new student. That's Tomo Tokino. The one you've been friends with for the last two years. She's only dressed up in a guy's uniform, and is not now nor ever has been a guy."

"Oh." A puzzled expression replaced Osaka's awe. "So asking Tomo out is a bad idea, huh?"

Yomi just let her head sink to the desk.

 

Osaka asking anyone out would be very amusing. In fact, seeing any of
the girls try to go out on a date would be very amusing. I imagine one
of the dares among the boys at the school is "I bet you can't get a date
with Chiyo Mihara", without telling the poor sap just who Chiyo is. It's
probably a hazing ritual that all the male transfer students have to go
through.

But I dirgess.

"Sakaki!"

"Tomo!"

"Sakaki!"

"Tomo!"

Toward the front of the class, Sakaki turned a shade of crimson reserved for ripe tomatoes while Tomo simply preened.

 

Poor Chihiro. I think you could do some interesting things with her as
the 'straight girl" against the zaniness that surrounds the core group.

Tomo's arm wrapped itself affectionately around Yomi's shoulder. "Yeah, this is the main squaw in my harem, if you know what I mean."

 

The weird thing is that, at least in her own mind, Tomo might well be
TELLING THE TRUTH. i have always had my own suspicions about the
Yomi/Tomo dynamic. The fact that Yomi even PUTS UP with Tomo's behavior
seems to imply that she has some sort of sesne of responsibility towards
the other girl. i can easily see their relationship extending into areas
they choose not to talk about in public.


"Maybe I was just looking for a good time too! Did you ever think of that, huh?!"

 

Then again, this is the first suggestion I've seen that Yomi might not
be a virgin (at least with boys).

"No way. She couldn't have." Yomi said.

 

This is TOMO we're talking about. OF COURSE she could have.

"Girls are not allowed in the boys' locker room!" Nyamo shouted at her as she released the hold on Tomo's arm.

"What about girls pretending to be guys?"

"Not them either."

 

ESPECIALLY not them. At least Naymo got Tomo otu before events could get
totally out of control, as on:

"OK, time for teack." said Nyamo.

"That's funny, where are all the guys?" Osaka asked.

"And I don't see Tomo either." Yomi added. Realziiation dawned. "She
couldn't be...."

"What could one girl do with fifteen guys?" Chiyo aksed.

"Nothing YOU need to hear aboiut...." Yomi answered with a huff. "I'm
goign to go get her."

"Should I telol Nyamo?" asked Osaka.

"No, I don't think so. That's spoil the fun."

Chiyo started after her. "I like to have fun too...."

'YOU are not going ANYWHERE!"


"It happens in the movies all the time."

 

What movies does Tomo watch?

DON'T ANSWER THAT!

Osaka said, "I thought it was because he was born on a farm on the same day a mule was, and they named him after the animal."

"Yep. He was showing us pictures of the mule," Tomo said. "It even looks like him."

 

Perfect little note. The funniest double-entendres are the ones that
turn out to be completely innocent.

"Tomo!" Nyamo barked. "We don't talk like that in this locker room. 

"OK, is there another locker room we can go to to talk about this?"

And the true worth of a man is measured by his heart, not how. big he is."

"Eh?" Tomo looked at her curiously. "That's not what you said at the beach. You said size is an important factor when looking for guys."

 

And now the rest of the class knows what happened at the beach house.
One would think Nyamo would have sworn the entire roon to secrecy,
followed up with numerous substantial bribes. that is, assuming Yuraki
could ever let such a juciy piece of blackmail material go unexploited
-- which, since this is Yukari we're talking about, is even unliklier
than the most unlikely thing you can imagine.

"Yep, back in high school I knew someone that cross-dressed once, though it was for less noble reasons than yours. In fact, it was one of the most eventful incidents in the history of the school."

"Tell us," Tomo insisted. Almost against their will, the other girls nodded in agreement with Tomo.

Yukari began, "It's a tale of misunderstandings, debauchery, love triangles, and some serious bitch-slapping. I laughed for weeks and made fun of the idiot who did it for years."

 

And a tale I REALLY want to hear now.

"Who was it?" Tomo asked.

"Well, for your information, the misguided fool at the center of the sordid mess was." Yukari stopped as she saw all of the girls suddenly turn into versions of Chiyo, their terrified looks identical to when the prodigy stepped out of Yukari's car. At the exact same moment, Yukari felt as if someone was walking on her grave. Someone in the form of a pack of overweight sumos. And they were dancing a mambo.

Right behind her.

"---definitely not in any way shape or form Minamo Kurosawa and don't let anyone tell you otherwise," Yukari added. The feeling of her own mortality peering over her shoulder suddenly lessened, as though it were moving away down the hall and into Nyamo's homeroom.

"I'd rather not know," Tomo said as she and the girls backed away fearfully.

 

I WANT TO KNOW! And does this mean that this weekend Yukari is the one
that gets tied down? (I am even more susypicious of Nyamo/Yukari than I
am of Yomi/Tomo. I wonder if there actually is something Yuakri is good
at that she can't show off to the class for obvious reasons....)

"Yeah, I guess the story isn't so funny after all," Yukari shuddered.

 

I STILL WANT TO HEAR IT!

"What? This?" Tomo fingered her outfit. "Actually, I did come dressed as a guy again, but someone else was cross-dressing too and, as much as I hate to admit it, she looked better than me. I know when I'm outclassed, so I switched back to skirts, make-up, and tampons."

 

TMI, Tomo.TMI.

"Ch.Chiyo-chan," Yomi said.

"It's Chiyo-kun now." Chiyo tried grumbling in a tough guy tone, but her voice was so high-pitched it simply made her more endearing.

 

Where did thney find a boy's unfoirm in her size? Unless, of course, it
was a uniform that WASN'T in her size, which actually makes the joke
funnier. "Didn't you used to have hands, Chiyo-kun?"

Yomi felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she softly intoned, "Cute" in a way that would have done Sakaki proud. Maybe there was something to be said about cross-dressing after all.
 

And Tomo flies into a jealous rage. "Hey, that's MY bitch!"

"That's funny. Yomi doesn't look like a dog at all."

Very funny story, with enough subtext to choke the Anaconda's girlfeiend.


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