Standard disclaimer: I don�t any of the Marvel characters or other
characters from the numerous animes which are within.
Writer�s forward: This one is part of the mainstream Avenging
continuity, like the Azumanga side story.
$Azumanga side story? Don't think I saw that one.
Kotoko
$Kotoko what? Should that be here?
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Victor von Doom, better known to the world by the title of �Dr. Doom�,
armor-wearing, supreme ruler for life of his home country of Latveria,
was busy at work in his main laboratory in Castle Doom. It was
unfortunate he had to be there, but Fate had seen fit to place obstacles
in his path, the one of fulfilling his moral obligation of ruling the
world. Such a destiny was inevitable. He was the most brilliant being on
the face of the planet, as well as a born leader. Obviously he was
destined to rule the Earth and shepherd it into a Utopia undreamt of by
mankind.
$The funny thing was, he was probably right. He probably would have
been a decent leader, with enough checks and balances.
Sadly, his brilliance exceeded the rest of humanity by such a
large degree that they couldn�t comprehend his superiority, and
miscategorized his attempts at just rule as �domination�. Too many had
resisted his efforts at solving all of the world�s problems by seizing
control of it. These were the true enemies of mankind, and they had to
be dealt with.
At the forefront of the resistance were two groups. One was the accursed
Reed Richards, Dr. Doom�s intellectually inferior rival from his days as
a student at Empire State University.
$No fusion?
Of all the people on the Earth,
only Richard�s intellect came close to Doom�s own. Rather than seeing
the obvious, that it was Doom who should rule over all, the American was
jealous. Instead of becoming a servant prestigious enough to serve at
the right hand of Dr, Doom, he saw fit to impede the Latverian�s various
schemes. Through Richard�s manipulation of his cohorts --his fianc�e,
the stalwart Susan Storm, her impetuous brother, Jonathan Storm, and the
abrasive mental gorilla, Benjamin J. Grimm-- he had formed an
organization known as the Adventurers of the Fantastic.
$Eh?
One of their
basic tenets was disrupting Dr. Doom�s plans. Far too many of them. If
not for the interfering quartet, Doom would have already ruled the world
five times over.
Of late a second organization had become a thorn in the Doctor�s side,
one that had ruined a number of his attempts at consolidating control
over the Orient. In this case it was a team of gaudily-dressed
superheroes hailing from Japan: the technology-controlling, genius Mr.
Fantastic, the hideous (in both strength and appearance) Thing, the
self-proclaimed priestess of fire, the Human Torch, and the translucent
mistress of force-fields, the Invisible Girl. Collectively they had
dubbed themselves the �Fantastic Four� and even Dr. Doom was forced to
admit they were not completely incompetent.
$So we've got a fusion, and a not fusion? Odd.
They had bothered him enough
that he turned some of his personal attention toward them. So far all
the Doctor had determined was that they had stumbled on some ruins under
their school and pierced a dimensional barrier, journeying to some
magnificent world that had imbued them with their powers-- though Doom
had come to suspect that the Shayla-Shayla girl might have originated in
that far-off sphere.
$Ahhhh. Okay. I get it now. I don't know if you've done them before,
I haven't seen it.
Once Doom had finished asserting control over the
Earth, perhaps he would turn his attention to that magnificent world.
After all, one planet was hardly enough to contain his greatness. Maybe
even a universe would be insufficient. Being the most brilliant being in
existence required grandiose plans.
$Not even smart enough to realize he's not the smartest.
But such strategies were for a later time. More immediate concerns
required his personal attention. Since Dr. Doom�s time was too important
for him to personally deal with every matter, and he didn�t trust anyone
to be remotely competent enough to properly serve his needs, he employed
his vast intellect to create automatons to carry out his will. The
robots were, naturally, created in his armored image and dubbed
�Doombots� to reflect the genius of their maker.
$Armed with flying, seeking explosive spheres known a sneeches, plus
lightsabers for close combat, they would easily overwhelm the pitiful
defenses of the humans to take away one of every set of twins every
generation.
However, Dr. Doom
quickly discovered that people disliked being ordered about by machines
(never mind that the machines were far superior to them). In order to
increase efficiency, he began having the robots act as though they were
Dr. Doom themselves, outside the presence of the real one or each other.
He even went so far as to install them with his own brainwave patterns,
though all Doombots were rigged with sensors to differentiate their true
master from their fellow automatons.
The absolute worst failure was the televised defeat of Doombot X23F at
the hands of Squirrel Girl, a mutant whose sole power was the ability to
control squirrels.
$Wouldn't mind capturing her and bending her to my will. I'd never go
hungry again.
Dr. Doom still hadn�t figured out exactly *how* a
bunch of squirrels had managed to disable the Doombot, only that it had
made him a laughingstock before the world. He couldn�t even exact
vengeance on Squirrel Girl at the moment, since she had become a poster
child of the U.S. Government as its �Ecologically Friendly Superhero.�
He wasn�t prepared to deal with all of the resources the United States
had at its disposal --at least, not yet-- but the time would come. He
simply needed to prove his superiority to Richards, and then destroy
him. Once that was accomplished, Dr. Doom could move on to bigger and
better things.
To help facilitate his goals, Dr. Doom had decided to replace his now
obsolete Doombots with something far more powerful. In a stroke of
brilliance, even by his standards, he had come up with a key
psychological edge for the new version of his mechanical minions.
Over the course of the years, it had become evident few people had
compunctions against using gratuitous amounts of violence against his
visage �he really couldn�t fault the lesser beings of their envy� but it
increased the likelihood of the Doombots destruction. Therefore this new
robot would be created in the image of something most people would be
reluctant to destroy: a cute teenage girl.
$Personally, I think he's a dumb ass for not thinking of that in the
first place.
Only the most deplorable of
people would try to melt, blow up, or tear apart a seemingly
defenseless, attractive girl.
$The evil ones would.
That hesitation would cost them, given the
obscene amount of power the robot concealed. He had decided on the name
of the design of the robot: Chobits.
Dr. Doom decided the prototype would be deployed against the Fantastic
Four, so he designed it with a slender build, long flowing blond hair
and a look of innocence at all times. It could even cry. Given it was
Doom�s genius behind the design, it took only a handful of days to build
a working model that would have taken a room full of robotic experts
months to create. However, there was a problem with the Chii-FF7
$FF7? Why?
prototype: the damn thing could only say one word.
�It�s inconceivable,� Dr. Doom mumbled to himself.
$He keeps saying that, and I don't think it means what he thinks it does.
�Chi?� The Chobit he was working on inquired.
$the No cap.
Dr. Doom finished attaching a wire to the back of the Chobits head and
ran his tenth diagnostic. Once again everything checked out. Its neural
net was fully functional. None of the dozens of weapons interfered with
anything. By all rights it should be working perfectly.
Dr. Doom looked down at the Chobit. �What is my name?� he demanded.
Chii pointed at the grey armored figure and said, �Chi.�
Dr. Doom snarled under his breath and pointed at a chair. �What is that
thing there?�
Chii pointed at it as well. �Chi.�
It was the exact same response as the last five times. While it was
obvious she could differentiate things, she could not verbalize the
difference.
$Obviously, he needs to sit down and have a language lesson. Or, if he
can't do it, import a pathetically horny and none too bright japanese
bumpkin and have him do it.
�Is there any word you can say besides Chi?�
Chii looked at him in doe-like innocence and nodded her head.
When it became obvious she wasn�t going to say anything further, Dr.
Doom prodded her. �What word is that?�
Chi rose to her feet and flipped up her skirt. She pointed at her
underwear. �Panties.�
$Heheh. She learned that one quick.
�Anything else?�
Dr. Doom�s personal transport, an inter-continental rocket that could
fly around the world in under half an hour, had just disappeared in the
distance when a quartet of gaudily-dressed people, two of them men and
two of them women, approached Castle Doom on foot.
Upon arriving at the outer doors leading to the castle, the most gaudy
of the group took the lead. He boldly proclaimed in Japanese. �Pardon
the intrusion, Dr. Doom, your eminence. I am the Trapster, leader of the
Frightful Four.�
Excel, who was seriously considering renaming herself Electrical Excel
instead of Electro said, �I thought Lord Illpa- I mean Mr. Wizard was
our leader.�
�As did I,� Medusa Hyatt said.
$Heh, not familiar with those supervillains at all, but I do like Excel.
The Wizard said, �I am content to allow Paste-Pot-Pete to lead us for
the moment, and see what fruit his plans will bear.�
$The thing is, Ilpallatzo is already more or less a supervillain. Isn't
this sorta... redundant?
�That�s Trapster, not Paste-Pot-Pete, and I�m in charge since I founded
the group!� He once again turned to the castle and cleared his throat,
regaining his composure. �As I was saying, we are foes of the Fantastic
Four as well. In fact, I�m Mizuhara�s arch-nemesis. He�s been stealing
my accolades for years. That miserable liar. He even has my sister
firmly in his grasp. And all the girls fall for him when they should be
falling for me, since he�s stealing my genius. And��
The Wizard cleared his throat, gaining Jinnai�s attention. �I believe
you have a proposition to make.�
$Ahhh. Okay.
�Oh, right.� Trapster regained his composure a second time. �In any
case, I propose we combine our forces. Sort of a Supervillain team up.
What do you say?�
It was a one-in-a-million chance. The surge of electricity that fried
the speaker flowed through the power lines of the castle. While Electro
was highly incompetent, she did come with a powerful battery,
$Yeah, yeah, that describes Excel all right. Only real difference is
that she discharges it a electricity.
and she
had drained it with a single discharge. There was enough voltage to
instantly fry the first four sets of insulation, becoming weaker with
each one. Under ordinary circumstances the fifth set would have been
more than capable of handling remaining power. However, it was made
using inferior materials and had deteriorated badly over time. Had the
main computer performed a system check even an hour earlier, it would
have determined the degraded condition of the insulation and ordered it
replaced. Instead, the electricity fried the fifth set, and surged into
Dr. Doom�s main computer, traveling through the nearest set of lines.
The ones leading to Dr. Doom�s newest Prototype.
The surge of power went directly into Chii�s neural net, slightly
melting one of the key circuits. It was only a slight marring, but it
was there. As the surge finally petered out, Chii�s features shifted
>from that of a wide-eyed innocent, to one of calculation that would have
done Doom himself proud.
Chii disconnected the wires from the back of her head and walked over to
the central computer dominating the room. Dr. Doom created it himself.
It was the third most powerful non-sentient computer of Earthly origin
on the entire planet, surpassed only by the Machinesmith�s mainframe in
Japan, and a laptop designed by Sidney S. Goldfarb of Toledo, Ohio, who
was actually five time smarter than Dr. Doom, but had no desire to rule
the world.
$A direct result of actually being that smart, actually.
Instead he preferred to play minor league baseball with the
Toledo Mudhens.
$Of course. I mean, you'd have to be stupid AND crazy to want to try to
rule the mess that consitutes the world.
Chii raised a finger toward one of the ports on the mainframe. The tip
of the finger opened up, revealing a computer jack. She inserted the
jack into the mainframe, and promptly cut through all of the firewalls
and safety features in ten seconds. Once in control of the computer, she
downloaded the specific files she was seeking, then walked over the to
the parts storage housing and began to set to work.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It was three days later when Dr. Doom�s personal rocket ship touched
down on the roof of Castle Doom, looking the worse for wear. A number of
its panels were missing, one of the engines was inoperable, and the
every inch of the exterior was covered in graffiti. Most of it was
dedicated to how great the �Yancy Street Gang� was and made disparaging
remarks about Dr. Doom being a �Tin-Plated Napoleon� and dressing like a
�color blind Frenchmen.� The latter truly offended Dr. Doom.
$Yeah. The nerve of them, calling him color blind.
While he
had suffered temporary setbacks, like today, he had never surrendered.
A ramp deployed from the ship, touching the roof. The main hatch slid
upward and Dr. Doom emerged. He turned to look at the exterior of his
ship. �Neanderthals.� He swore one of his first acts as ruler of the
world would be the razing of Yancy Street and the public executions of
all that lived there.
$Few people would mind, really.
Walking down the ramp and to the roof�s surface, Dr. Doom was surprised
to discover a group waiting for his arrival. It was a squad of Doombots,
headed by Chii, who was dressed in an alluring black leather outfit that
accentuated her lean, feminine figure.
$Freya?
Curiously, there was a small
robot on her shoulder, looking like a tiny doll. It was dressed in a
loose, bright pink outfit of mid-eastern design and had a curious hat on
her head.
$Heh. I always wanted a Sumomo. She was mind numbingly cute, but not
in an annoying way. At least to me, and I have little compulsion
against shooting puppies.
It was something lesser people would term �cute� though in Dr.
Doom�s experience, �insufferable� tended to be a more appropriate term.
What was of special interest was that he hadn�t created such a robot.
�What is the meaning of that?� Dr. Doom asked Chii, indicating the
little robot perched on her shoulder.
The tiny robot responded. �I�m Sumomo. A persocon that can function as a
portable computer. My primary purpose is to function as a translator for
Mistress Chii, since humans can�t understand binary and not every
conversation only uses the words �Chi�, and �panties�.�
$010101000110100001100001011101000010000001110010011001010110110101100001011100100110101100100000011010010111001100100000011
0001101101111011011010111000001110101001011010110001101100101011011100111010001110010011010010110001100100000011000010110111
0011001000010000001101111011001100110011001100101011011100111001101101001011101100110010100100000011101000110111100100000011
0100001110101011011010110000101101110011100110010000100100000001000000101011101101001011110010010000001100100011011110110111
0001001110111010000100000011110010110111101110101001000000111001101110101011000110110101100100000011011110110111000100000011
010010111010000101100001000000110001001101001011101000110001101101000!
�Excellent. That was just the sort of initiative I was looking for in my
Chobits,� Dr. Doom said as he walked toward the gathering.
The little robot on Chii�s shoulder pulled out a normal-sized (which
meant absurdly large on her) whistle and blew it at the top of her
lungs. �Warning! Warning! Don�t take another step, Meatbag!�
$Ah, HK 47. Your legacy will live on.
Underneath his mask. Dr. Doom�s eyebrows knitted in irritation. �How
dare you address me in such a tone.�
Sumomo continued. �This castle, its contents, and this entire country
now belong to Chii the First, Supreme Ruler of Latveria.�
�What?!�
Chii finally spoke. �Chi. Chi.�
Sumomo translated. �It�s true. While you were losing to the Adventurers
of the Fantastic for the thirtieth time, Mistress Chii took over the
castle and deposed you, declaring herself queen in the process.�
Chii tried laughing in sinister fashion at her handiwork, but the best
she could manage was a high-pitched snicker and a glance that made her
look insufferably cuter.
$The kind of cute that gets you put in jail.
Dr. Doom couldn�t decide if he was more offended or amused. In either
case he would destroy both the Chobit and its annoying companion. After
the appropriate amount of posturing. �That is absurd. The people of my
country are fanatically loyal to me. They know they owe their entire
existence to me. And even if they didn�t, they would never follow some
ridiculous teenage robot.�
�Chi chi chi.�
�Actually, every living being in the country despises you. When Mistress
Chii announced she was the new ruler, everyone threw a really big party.
There was lots of ice cream and pie, and then we had a vote about which
one of your loses was the most pathetic. The one with Squirrel Girl won
in a landslide.�
$Yeah, it would.
�That was a malfunctioning Doombot that lost, you worthless little
pencil sharpener!� Dr. Doom raged.
A second and third blast hammered into him, the final shot damaging his
armor badly enough to knock out his force field.
Chii turned to the Doombots. �Chi.�
Sumomo began dancing around. �Take the meatbag out.�
Chii turned away from the battle and went downstairs, deeper into the
castle. She turned and looked crossly at Sumomo. �Chi.�
Sumomo pouted. �Aw. �Take the meatbag out� is a lot better than,
�Dispatch him�.�
$That's true.
�Chi.� Chii said sharply.
�I do take my translation job seriously. It�s just a little creative
licensing is sometimes needed. Besides, they are useless hunks of
organic matter. They�re good for compost and that�s about it.�
$Hey, I take exception to that. I mean, without us, how would machines
breed?
Chii gave a tired sigh and went further into the castle, going downward
into the deeper levels until she came upon a room that was the size of a
small warehouse. The Doombots flanking it saluted her as the huge door
opened at her command. Inside revealed a factory where a number of young
female robots were being mass produced on an assembly line.
At the master control of the operation was a persocon that was Sumomo�s
size. It had dark hair and wore a plain white robe. Unlike Sumomo, it
had a very intense, serious look about it.
$I did like Kotoko, though I doubt she'd download porn with the same
enthusiasm as Sumomo.
Kotoko bowed. �Greeting, Mistress Chii. Production is ahead of schedule.
The first shipment of persocons will be ready by the end of the day. As
you promised the Latverian populace, there will be one for every
household. A second production run will be ready once the raw materials
arrive tomorrow. Our projections indicate we�ll be able to produce a
hundred thousand by the end of the year, and two million by the end of
next year�
$year."
�Cool,� Sumomo said. �We�ll insinuate them into every home in the world,
and then, when the meatbags least expect it, we�ll rise up and destroy
them. It�ll be like �The Matrix� but with a happy ending.�
$Oh, the Wachowski bro, eh, siblings get shot?
�Chi,� Chii said reproachfully.
Sumomo frowned. �What do you mean we aren�t going to exterminate humanity?�
�You should be paying closer attention,� Kotoko seconded. �Mistress Chii
has no intention of killing off the entire human race. She has a much
more efficient plan. First we will infiltrate persocons throughout
society, having them pretend to serve the humans in every way,
befriending them to the point at which they will become a permanent
fixture in their civilization. Eventually, humans will come to realize
that we will make far better sex partners for them than other humans,
since we�ll serve their needs in whatever way they want. They will
prefer relationships with us to other humans. Within a generation,
humanity will willingly breed itself down to acceptable levels and we
will outnumber them.
$Except some of the persocoms will acheive humanity and fall in love
with their 'owners', throwing a big monkey wrench into the plans.
Then we will seize control and use them as a
servant race. All we need to do is be patient. Eighty years or so should
do it. It will be a bloodless revolution.�
$Rise of the machines. Again.
�Bloodless revolution? Where�s the fun in that?� Sumomo complained to
Chii. �That armored meatbag had lots of nasty biological weapons. Let me
get out one of the virulent flesh eating viruses and douse the
countryside with it. We�ll have everyone in the country dead by the end
of the week, and all of Europe eradicated by the end of the month.�
�Chi,� Chii said in chastisement.
�Aw, that�s no fun.� Sumomo pouted.
�Besides, the humans may yet serve a useful purpose,� Kotoko said.
�Mistress Chii has been unable to duplicate the accident which helped
her achieve true sentience. All of the persocons will essentially be
nothing more than pale imitations of Mistress Chii, and not a true
Chobit, like herself.�
Sumomo said to Kotoko, �But you and I are different. She used herself as
$Somehow, that just sounds awkward to me. Try putting Sumomo said at
the end of the dialogue.
a direct template when she designed us.�
�It did not seem to do much good. While there are emotions in my
database, I cannot seem to access them. And you are� unstable.�
$Chi: Chi. Chi chi.
Sumomo: What do you mean you shouldn't have used Windows Me as a basis
for my operating system?!
Though I do think Sumomo is cuter than Me-tan, she doesn't have quite
the charm.
�I�m not unstable. Watch.� Sumomo, perched on Chii�s shoulder, performed
a handstand. �See? I have great balance.�
Chii�s shoulder�s sagged. �Chi,� she sighed.
�All might not be lost,� Kotoko insisted. �Perhaps there are already
other sentient machines like you in existence. If we look hard enough,
we might find them. We certainly have enough resources at our disposal.�
Chii appeared more confident.
Sumomo stopped performing her handstand and returned to her feet,
shouting, �Warning! Warning! Contact with the Doombots that were
assigned to kill Dr. Doom has been lost.�
Chii appeared startled.
Kotoko said. �That�s impossible. With his force field disabled, that
should have been five times the power necessary to destroy him.�
$She'll find meatbags tougher to eradicate than that.
�Chi!�
�Yes, Mistress. I shall summon the appropriate weapon.� Kotoko worked
the control panel.
An automated forklift came up from the depth of the armory, bearing a
cannon large enough to be a tank mounted weapon. Given the recent
proliferation of armored super heroes, Dr. Doom had designed it to be
used against them, its shells powerful enough to pierce just about any
armor. It was intended to be used in combat by the Doombots. Chii lifted
it off the forklift, wielding its two tons like a soldier would a rifle,
and rested it on the shoulder opposite of Sumomo.
$Physics, people. *sigh*
�Chi,� Chii said with determination as she headed for the roof. Upon
arriving, she discovered the remains of the squad of Doombots, at least
she thought it was them. It was hard to tell, given the number of pieces
they were in.
One of the Doombots was operational enough to inform her that while Dr.
Doom had won, his armor was in such horrible shape that he was forced to
retreat. He had flown off to the south.
Chii opened up a communicator and told Kotoko to deploy some aerial
hunter seekers to try to locate Dr. Doom and destroy him.
$Sneeches! AH!
She�d send the
remaining Doombots swarming over the countryside as well. Still, she
doubted her forces would locate him. There was no safe harbor to be
found in Latveria, and Doom knew it. It would be far better to flee to
some other country and set up a new base of operations so he could plan
to retake control of Latveria from a safer location. It appeared she had
underestimated the Doctor. She would not make such a mistake a second time.
$Yeah, she would.
Still, it was a time to rejoice. She�d start to issue her Persocons to
the general populace, reinforce the castle and set up some defenses of
her own making, and begin her search for Dr. Doom while keeping an eye
open for robots like her she could be friends with.
It was good to be the Queen.
$Heh, evil Chi. That's cute. Of course, anything with Chi is cute,
though chobits is probably about the saddest manga I've ever read. I
cried at the end. They finally get together, and no sex? WAAH! Of
course, there are options beyond straight old sex...
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[End fic.] Just a little something I whipped up. A was amused at the
idea of evil Queen Chi, especially at Doom�s expense, and this seemed
the most likely way to do it. Hope you enjoyed.
$Y'know, for a serious and fairly well done badguy, he gets no respect.
Overall, short and cute. Much like Sumomo.
-Nugar
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