Hey, it was only posted in August:

-----
The life of an international criminal, Jigen thought
meditatively, was comprised of a dash of glamour,
and a great deal of unpleasantness. You got a lot
of money in your hands, but it tended to flow
through them pretty quickly. You saw lots of
interesting places, usually with the law in hot
pursuit. And for every solid friend you made, you
met five times as many psychos, sadists, and
all-around assholes. It almost made you wonder
if it was worth it...

Well, they are criminals, which means they don't get along with the rules.
Not surprising they don't get along with others.

Jigen shook his head. This was ridiculous. He
was a professional criminal, not a philosopher.

Well, he was known as 'Philsopher Man' but that was beside the point.

with 'a coterie of skilled individuals', as the letter

(from someone calling themselves 'C.C.') had put

got an odd line break here.

.. Every young punk with a gimmick was giving

himself a name, and declaring himself the biggest,
baddest outlaw the world had ever seen. Most of
them were incompetents and poseurs, who were just
drawing attention to the entire business, especially
from the swelling ranks of superheroes.

With luck you use them as cannon fodder. Alternately, get rid of the super
villain costume, look like a normal fellow, and use super powers. Juggernaut
took out the Hulk that way once.

Jigen sighed. He was getting old. No, scratch that.
He was old. By all rights, he shouldn't have to do
this job-but he had debts to pay, a laboratory to
maintain, a retirement fund to fill... He nodded. He
had to do this job. Even it felt off-even if he was
too old, because in this business, the moment you
stopped taking the jobs that were offered was the
moment you started to disappear...

Nice introspection on his part and establishes a good feel for the
character.

"I prefer to go to by

drop second 'to'

Jigen frowned as he entered. Even if he agreed
with Duval, he didn't admire his sharing that
opinion-it was the sort of thing that could lead
to bad feelings if the 'amateurs' he was so casually
dismissing found about it.

found out about

"Now, now Hyde," said Duval in tones that did not
sound too sincere. "You know the boss wouldn't
like that..." Jigen blinked. He'd heard a great deal
about Hyde-none of it good. He had immense
strength, but was vicious, and completely
untrustworthy.

Just ask Cobra.

Jigen readied his laser gauntlets. He did so with the
utmost calm. Calm was one of the first things Jigen
had learned in the business. Calm kept you alive.
Panic made you dead.

Unless the more panicked you get, the stronger you get. :)

"Stand down, you two," came a clear female voice.
Hyde and the Grey Gargoyle blinked, and backed
quietly away from Jigen. He glanced over to see his
deliverer

I'd use a different word that that. 'savior' perhaps.

buckle. And don't bother with 'Miss Smith'.
That's just Duval trying to be clever." She
turned to him, suddenly. Jigen became even
more aware that she was a desperately attractive
woman. "I'm the Machinesmith. I'm handling
the tech around here."

So Starr Saxon was chick, or is 'he' screwing with people's heads?

Nekra's gotten into the habit of making 'prophecies'
and-well, having them not come true is bad for
business..."

Unless they make her hate them, in which case she becomes vastly more
powerful.

Hikaru nodded. "Well, on my part, I recovered the
head of the Golden Monkey from the Smuggler,

Erik Joston just has crappy luck, doesn't he?

The man in the butterfly costume fidgeted
nervously again. He'd done that constantly,
eyes glancing over the corners, the ceiling,
the floor, the table. At first, Jigen had thought
that he was paranoid and on guard, but then
he realized the truth-he was staring at the dirt.
This particular 'Master of Evil' was a neat freak.

Heh

"So, this is the place," came a brash, arrogant
voice. Jigen turned. A young woman clad in
what looked like a pale white skintight outfit
entered, another young woman in a frilly dress
trailing behind her, who glanced timidly at the
gathering. "Quite dingy." She shook her head.
"Well, we have arrived. I am Slyde and this is
my potent partner, Whirlwind."

Two more incompetent bums.

"I thought you said I could be the Human Top!"
said the more timid girl.

Yes, the name was worse, but the power was horribly cheesy.

"My brother and I are also mutants," declared
Slyde, "so your claims of genetic superiority
are clearly insane. In fact, I strongly doubt you
can rival the perfection of grace and form that
are Slyde and Whirlwind, Butterfly Man..."

"Gypsy Moth," stated the man, tersely.
 "I'm Gypsy Moth. I've been robbing silk
shipments for the last five weeks!"

Not that the original wa smuch better, until she became Skien. Still...

The man stepped forward. "Greetings, and
salutations. I'm the Crimson Cowl."

Ah, but which version, I wonder. :)

They were the heads of Duval and Hyde.

My, he is powerful. Neither is particularly easily stabbed. Both took on
Thor on a number of occasions.

"And Grey Gargoyle?" asked the Crimson Cowl.

"He was French," answered Oddball matter-of-factly.

Well, that is an inarguable point. And explains why he always lost, since
the French become easily confused when they start winning, since they're so
used to losing :)

Hikaru rubbed his temples. "Yes, I'm ready."

"Okay!" A look of manic glee spread over
Kagome's face. "It will just knock you out-
it's so perfect!" She took a deep breath.
"We are... THE ALL-WINNERS' SQUAD!"

Already taken back in the 40's. ^_^

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" came the maniacal
laughter. "Behold commoners! You are honored
to witness the phoenix-like rebirth of Tokyo's
greatest criminal! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

This will be bad.

"Pile-on Pete," noted Hikaru, dully. "So we meet
again. In exactly the same place..." He began to
rub his temples. "You-really have problems
with the whole-criminal mastermind thing,
don't you?"

He's not much of a mastermind, no.

"TRAPSTER! CAN'T YOU SAY
'TRAPSTER?"

"Nummymuffin-coocol Butter."

That's more like it. :)

"-Sticky glue. Right." Hikaru sighed.
"So your ultimate weapon is just like
your normal weapon, only less accurate,
and with a shorter range."

but a better spread.

"Ah, but with these, I can climb up walls!"
Jinnai pressed down on his heels. "I simply
press the built-in button, and the sole of
my boots are covered with glue, allowing
me to climb up walls like so..." Jinnai tried
to take a step forward.

His feet refused to do this, remaining stuck
firmly to the floor.

Yep

A blonde stuck her head in the caf�. "Hey,
Lord Trapster! Can we come in now? Lord
Wizard is getting bored, and Medusa-chan
seems to be turning blue again, which is never
a good sign..."

Heh. Even better. Equally incompetent teammates.

Jinnai turned back to the rest of the caf�
patrons. "I have gained allies! Three of the
worst criminal geniuses the world has ever
seen!"

This is probably a true statement.

The blonde ducked back out. There was the sound

of a whispered discussion, followed by the blonde
poking her head back in. "Yeah, that's cool." She
walked in followed by two more individuals. Seen
 in full, the blonde was revealed to be wearing a
green bodysuit with a lightning bolt on it.

Electro he?

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the
blonde. "Like the big fish in the koi pond,
it will devour you-assuming you to be a
smaller fish in the pond, which is the only
way the analogy makes sense, because
even very big koi don't eat people, believe
me, I've tried to make them, and it didn't-"

Amusing

"Ahh, Medusa, I-" began the blonde. She
turned to the apparent 'Medusa'.
"Medusa-chan! You're bleeding!"

She might drown the Defenders in a pool of her own blood. This has been
known to happen.

"Excel?" said Jinnai in a tired voice.

"Yes, Lord Trapster?"

"Just stick to your old codename."

"Oh. Okay. EXCEL!"

Yeah, that will work.

"Right!" cried Excel. "Don't deny us your
precious words, Lord Wizard! They are the
life-giving water that will keep us from withering
like those plants your mother sends you that you
put on your windowsill, then forget for a couple
months, so that later you've got this little dried
out husk sitting there..."

This is so.. Excel.

Kagome took out a somewhat bent magazine.
"Their

They're

"It's a sewer, Wizard," said Jinnai in frustration.
"Putting in a chair, some curtains, and a trap
door does not make it an advanced underground
base..."

It would in some countries, like Bangledesh. :)

Jigen glanced at him, surprised. "You were
in the Circus of Crime?"

Poor man

Oddball gave a tired nod. "For some time.
Before that I was a member of the Death
Throws."

Really, poor man.

Oddball shrugged. "So far as I can tell.
In my native Latveria, our beloved Prince
Ruldolpho holds periodic purges to make
sure the people remain loyal to him and
it's rather easy for people to get lost
during them..."

Hmm. YOu'll have to redo that part. Dr. Doom is in control there and has
been for years, at least until his latest plan to take out the Fantastic
Four and Reed Richards and his team backfires.

"The president of one of Japan's leading
biochemical concerns. Yes." She flexed an
arm, idly. "I was probably the most eligible
girl in Japan. I lived a happy and contented
existence, with my stuffed animals, and my
cheerleading, and my society parties..." A
slightly dazed smile came to her face. "And
it was at one of them that I met the man of
my dreams-Takewachi Kunou." Her

Tatewaki

date with me, he disappeared!" She began
to hyperventilate. "So naturally, I did the
only... logical thing-DEDICATED MY
LIFE TO VENGEANCE!

Smart girl

Man-Killer giggled. "Oh. Well, sorry about that," she
said, setting Slyde down. "Anyway, the whole
vengeance thing's proved kind of difficult-it turns
out there really isn't a lot of money in revenge-and
I was sort of at split ends, when I discovered
something amazing-people will pay you to beat
other people up!" She laughed. "It's remarkable!
I mean-who'd a thought you could make money
doing what you love!"

Gotta respect her for finding her niche in life

Kagome bit her lip in thought. "Well, there
was the elder god-and the chaos demons-a
nd

odd place for a word cut

Hikaru wandered off, groaning. "We're a joke.
Nonentities! And why? Because of the threats we face!
While the Fantastic Four have taken on a massive
invasion from under the Earth, a devious attempt by
strange illusion-wielding aliens, and several mad
scientists-ONE WITH SUPER MONKEYS,

But I liked the Red Ghost. :)

 I

MIGHT ADD-we have been fighting the special
education version of supervillains. I mean look at
that bunch back there-a man who's nearly catatonic,
a woman who will soon be catatonic, a woman who
might as well be catatonic, and a man whose laugh
makes you wish that you were catatonic!

Heh. Very nice

"Oh, yes!" shouted Hikaru. "The never-ending
waves of the UNPRONOUNCABLE ONES!"
Hikaru laughed slightly. "You know I think people
have a hard time caring about things they don't
even know exist, and couldn't even say if they
did!" Hikaru glanced up at the stars. "All I'm
asking is just once-ONCE-to face an
opponent who's smarter than a piece of dryer lint!

Ooo. I think he's about to get his wish.

I mean, do I have some sign on my back that
says, 'supervillainous losers attack here'?"

At that moment, a large fat man wearing a walrus
costume started walking down the street menacingly.
"Fear me Tokyo! Fear-the Walrus! Goo goo g'joob!"

Sadly, there was such a character.

They were stationed outside a building that
looked much like any other building. Of
course, if you were to attack this building,
it would have wound up feeling more like a
small fortress, but just walking by it on the
street, you'd never even notice it.

Gypsy Moth (who out of costume a surprisingly

missing word there

"I'm saying that I don't trust our employer,"
 replied Jigen. "And you shouldn't either.
People as-smart and-capable as the
Crimson Cowl tend to be covering angles
the rest of us don't even consider."

LIke saving their own hide no matter what.

It hadn't been a pretty choice, but as Jigen knew,
you worked with what you had.

-----

Hikaru walked home from school, briskly, like a
very slight breeze that can't wait to be somewhere
else, and doesn't particularly care where. Every d
ay

another odd word break

"That's right," began Miroku. "We, your
allies in the fight against darkness, wish to
commemorate your heroic effort which has
created a lull in what use to be a storm."

used

"Columbian..." said Hikaru, abstractly. "Dark
roast." He looked up awkwardly for a moment,
then glanced back down at the gift. "Thank you.
This-this is nice."

Awww. He liked it.

Hikaru glanced at him. "Thank you."
He turned to Akane and smiled. "I'm
the president." He chuckled lightly.

Inu-Yasha slapped him on the back.

Hikaru glanced at him. "I wasn't even
lapsing into hysteria that time."

Heh

"Hmm," murmured Miroku.
"An attractive cripple..." He
stepped forward.

My, how tastless.

Akane blinked, then glanced at Hikaru. "Nabiki
wasn't kidding about her, was she?"

Heh. Well, it does get Hikaru off the hook, doesn't it?

"Well, it's just hard to imagine Hikaru
likin' anybody..."

"I see your point," said Kagome softly.

Indeed.

The 'thing' in question was a samurai sword,
which had apparently been designed on the
general theory that a weapon should incorporate
as many skull, bones, and other unpleasant motifs
as they possibly could in their decoration.

Ah ha, a cool weapon.

"What, him being a mutant freak?"

Mutated, actually. And be thankful he lacked the imagination to use the
Cosmic Cube.

"Letting your days go by-let the water
hold me down-letting your days go by-
water flowing underground-Into the
blue again-After the money's gone-
Once in a lifetime-water flowing underground..."

Heh. I liked the Talking Heads.

"I know exactly what you don't think Teshigawara,

can't say I know where he's from.

"Man, this is easy!" she stated loudly.
"I mean you think someone like this
'Hammer' guy would keep a few kung-fu
masters on hand,

Fu Manchu hired them all, I'm afraid.

or at least arm his guys

with advanced particle weaponry, but all
he has is normal guys with guns..."

And a small army of supervillains who owe him for him bailing them out.

In fact, Gypsy Moth, you should probably
spend more effort in getting along with your
fellow members." A shot rang out, missing
the Cowl's head by inches. He turned and
shot a bola at the fleeing security guard,

shot a bola? Interesting.

Jigen was not the only one who turned to
see a pale young man dressed in a black
outfit with a yin-yang sewn on it and an
elaborate scarlet cape, floating in midair.

But he was the only one who saw the way the
Crimson Cowl relaxed as soon as he saw him.

Curious

"Yeah, well, I don't think ya can avoid me!"

Oddball merely smiled.

Miroku rushed forward. "Careful my
friend, I sense-"

A fast moving blur knocked down
the Devil-Slayer, followed by another
blur that bored right into him.

ouch

Hikaru stared at her with an odd
forcefulness. Man-Killer gave an oof,
and sped towards the wall, slamming
into it in an extremely painful manner.
She slumped to the ground, and with
a groan, passed out.

Actually, there were spells that could augment Strange's strength. When he
was under the influence of the Star of Capistan and dubbed himself the Red
Rajah, he took out the Rhino in two moves.

"I told you not to say anything!" stated
Gypsy Moth, glaring at her. He paced
around the room, his expression oddly
frustrated. "You know, if you... ruin this
for me... it won't go very well." He shook
his head nervously. "You have to
understand-you look like her. Very
much like her. And I want to-talk to
her again. So I'm going to-talk to you.
And maybe, when I'm finished with you-
I'll be able to-talk to her." He turned
towards suddenly, pointing in an almost
accusatory manner. "Do you understand
me?"

Oh dear, this is bad.

Kagome's arrow converted into a
stream of light that wrapped around
Gypsy Moth then threw him through
the nearest window. Kagome took a
couple deep breaths then stood up.
She could hear the fighting and that
meant it wasn't too far...

He had it coming.

A rain of metal darts buried themselves in the
wall beside him.

Seems to prefer weapons

"How what?" noted the Cowl calmly in that smug
tone that Hikaru was really starting to hate. "How
is it I know your name? How is it that the hypnotic
blocks you've put up to hide your identity don't
work? How is it I give off no aura? How is it I can
block your attacks? How can I pull off this ensemble?
Please specify."

He is a good bad guy.

closer to Hikaru. "I know your name because I
was informed of it, by someone who's been spying
on you for some time now.

Hmm. Neat

His hands hit solid constructs of metal and plastic.

Oops

Miroku's staff slammed into her with surprisingly
little effect, as the supervillain twisted under the
blow, and landed a kick in Miroku's stomach.
"Forget it, moron. I'm an expert at rolling with
the punches. With no friction, your blows just
do not find enough resistance to do much."

Hah. Actually prettty dangerous then

Slyde immediately shrieked and covered
her eyes. "Ahh! My delicate young eyes
are not ready for this sight. I'm a frail,
unblemished virgin."

Heh

"That's it!" said Whirlwind in disbelief.

shouted, rather than said.

An arrow buried itself in the ground,
and exploded.

"Foolish villains! Face the power of-
HELLCAT!" announced Kagome. She
glanced at Inu-Yasha. "Hey! Is that the
Clown? From the Circus of Crime?"

Inu-Yasha gave a slow, pained nod.
"He's callin' himself 'Oddball' now."

Heh. The ignomity of it all

"Well, that's why I also was trained to quickly
note my surroundings and create comprehensive
strategies based on them." Hikaru darted to the
side and picked up an antique chair. "Now face
my Queen Anne's Chair-OF JUSTICE!"

nice

Inu-Yasha glanced at Tetsaiga. He'd
never thought he'd see the day he'd
wish he was fighting demons. Not
only had humanity spent the last few
centuries he'd missed closing the power
gap (at least on a case by case basis) but
they were a lot more... insidious than
demons. Demons were straightforward.

yeah, like naruku *derisive snort*

Jigen nodded. "No use staying around
where we aren't wanted..." He raised a
laser gauntlet upwards. A brilliant flare
of light shot out, blinding the trio
momentarily. When they cleared their
eyes, the two Masters of Evil were gone.

Nice

Hikaru twirled forward, both chair legs striking
 the Crimson Cowl's right wrist, producing an
unpleasant crack. The Cowl gave a muffled
yell as he tumbled to the side. Hikaru glanced
at his opponent sympathetically. "You know,
you can just give up, and hand over the shard.
Otherwise it will be a matter of me searching
your unconscious body, and I don't want to
do that. It's entering a creepy realm that I want
to avoid..."

I don't think it will go that easy.

"Mmmblefgh," murmured Hikaru.

"No rematch," replied the Cowl. "I plan on
making very sure of that..."

I doubt it'll be that easy either.

Miroku chuckled. "Oh, they didn't all get away..."
He gestured upwards.

Slyde and Whirlwind were hanging upside-down
from a streetlight.

Well, they do have something to show for it after all

The blade took Jigen in the throat.

Oops

An eerily pale girl hovered in, followed by two
slightly more normal figures-a young woman
and a younger boy, both wearing strange body
armor. The woman carried a large boomerang,
the boy a sickle and chain. Both had eyes that
glowed a dull purple, and moved with an oddly
stiff gait.

Hmm. More IY cast

"Exactly," said the Crimson Cowl. "I believe
you should trust his judgement." The Cowl
lit his cigar and took a long contented puff.
"I'll get his little jewel shards for him," he said
calmly. His voice took on a darker note. "You
know what's at stake for me. I have to."

How mysterious, and interesting. I'm eager to see more of this lot

As Hikaru made his way home, he looked at
the city, and wondered. What other threats
might be out there on this night?

-----

On a dark street corner, the Trapster and
Excel pushed a middle-aged prostitute
onto the street.

Heh, cute

"Did I miss something?" asked the Wizard
tiredly, sipping a drink.

very cute

I liked it. Nice introduction of what was obviously a major plot element. I
look forward to seeing more of CC and his Master of Evil.

DB Sommer



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