On Sun, 14 Nov 2004, W. Suika Roberts wrote:

	`Jin-Yung?' a female voice asks.

	He shakes off, arranges himself, zips down, `Hai?' he asks the air
quietly.

Why would a Korean soldier respond in Japanese?

Punchline was okay.



Generally, reading fics in present tense is somewhat annoying.  Since your
heading indicates that this is part 6 of some series, you may be using
present tense for effect.  If so, then that's fine, but otherwise, it may
be prudent to write it over in past tense.

Also, the vast amount of acronyms, jargon, and such quickly became
annoying.  They didn't add anything to the fic, and I ended up skimming
them.

-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner,
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I had been betrayed.  "Tell me,"
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao," he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'