*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
              (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)


(The future isn't what it used to be....)


"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7"  (SEASON FIVE)

EPISODE 41: THE LIGHT OF MY HOPES PT. 4

(A Sailor Moon/Escaflowne/Gundam Wing/Card Captor Sakura/Fushigi
Yuugi/Dragon Ball Z Crossover MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7, Zoogz and Lynxara
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com) (lynxara@gmail.com )

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc.  Just covering
my own ass here folks....

"Light Of My Hopes" is the property of Tenshi Cat.  She has given me
permission to MST her work and I greatly appriciate it.  :)

*          *          *

(Door 6: It's a metal door with no knob.  Before you can do anything, it's
yanked off its hinges from the other side by a tow truck.)

(Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator.  Both sets of doors open for you
as you pass through.)

(Door 4: It's made of dominoes.  You tip the lead one over and watch as
the pile slowly lowers until it's half its original size and you step over it.)

(Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed toys.  You cuddle them for awhile
before proceeding.)

(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Ankh floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)

(Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing a
drawbridge that slowly lowers to the ground.  You cross it cautiously,
looking for moat monsters.)

(Door .7: It's a swirling blue vortex.  Suddenly a large hand reaches out
of its center and pulls you inside.)


     Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind.  Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.

THIS CHAPTER ID DEDICATED TO REBECCA-CHAN. THX
FOR E-MAILING ME ;)!!!!

THE LIGHTS OF MY HOPES: TRUTH ABOUT GALIXIA AND
CHIBI-CHIBI

Tom: Next time on 'A Current Affair'....

Sunlight peered through the window and hit Usagi directly in the eye,

Crow: <Usagi> EYAAAUGH!!

making her stir slowly. Her eyes opened as she groggily sat up. She
sighed loudly as she got up and took a shower.

The ancient book of cosmos shone as Usagi got out of the shower dressed
and picked it up.

Joel: Fanservice Underwhelming.

Crow: Those FCC dickweeds just don't know when to quit.

She then reached for the doorknob and twisted it open, only to find a
bouquet of red roses to be held in front of her.

Joel: <Usagi> Why Kunou-Sempai!  You too?  My, I'm getting
popular!

Tom: <Usagi> Just put them over there with the Rose of Versailles.

She blinked and looked up to see Trunks smirking at her with the
seductive sparkle in his eyes.

Crow: He's drawn in the DBZ art style.  How do you tell a seductive
sparkle from "I will destroy you, Kakarot?"

She frowned and said in an angry tone, "Trunks please, get serious
about this."

"I know. I just want to say sorry for yesterday," Trunks apologized
with a grin.

Tom: <Usagi> FTD isn't going to save your ass, pal.

Joel: Okay, he's either being seductively smug or mocking Usagi's
puny attack power...

Usagi glared at him from underneath her bangs and whispered, "Nice
try bastard. But I must admit I liked the flower effect." With that she
walked out of the dinning room in the glorious hotel.

Joel: You know it's a glorious hotel when they provide shower
facilities in the dining room....

Tom: Waiter!  There's some hair in my soup!  And my salad!  And my
coffee!

Trunks only smirked as thought, 'Damn, she's good... beautiful... and
absolutely sexy! I'll get her.' Not noticing Shinigami was watching
Trunks with, for some reason, fire raging inside him.

Crow: My devil said Mylanta.

~DINNING ROOM~

Tom: Oh!  The *dinning* room!  That's where Gwar practices
between tours, right?

Joel: Yeah, plus their meat sandwiches are to die for.

Usagi plumped down on her seat where Allen, Quartre and Hotohori
looked at her frowning face worriedly.

Quartre made the first move, "What's wrong?"

"Trunks," came the reply through clenched teeth.

Crow: <Quatre> You had no problem making out with Shinigami
earlier, why be offended now?

Joel: <Usagi> Would YOU reject a kiss from Duo Maxwell?

Crow: <Quatre> Uh, well, w-we're not talking about me right now!

Allen looked at the angel of purity as he understood,

Joel: <Usagi> Hey, what're you looking at!  I'm over here!

"I know Usagi-hime, but please don't let him get to you."

Usagi then slammed the ancient book on the table and said frustrated,
"I know but he's a bastard."

Crow: <Allen> Sucks to be you.

Joel: <Usagi> I know, it's true.

Tom: Next week on "Bachelorette II"...

This surprised the boys, except Allen for he was laughing inside.

Tom: <Allen> Ha ha! Crazy kids and their infidelities, hearing
about it really takes me back....

Then Hotohori suggested, "Let's go get some new clothes later."

Usagi face beamed and gasped out, "Really?"

Joel: <Usagi> TAKE ME TO YOUR SHOES!!!

"Really. I'll cough out enough money for us all," Shinigami reassured
as he sat down beside the over dosed with happiness Bunny.

Tom: <Shinigami> And if you're real good, I'll hook you up with
some Nestle Quik, okay?

Crow: Duo seems awful eager to play dress-up with the guys....

"Oh thank you Duo!" she squealed with delight.

Duo smiled for his good work since he knew that every teenaged girl
just loved shopping.

Joel: He just hasn't been the same since Christmas.

Crow: So "good works" involve fake money for a no-strings-attached
shopping spree just to attempt to get girls in bed... maybe he really IS
Satan.

Joel: But a lot closer to caffeine-free diet Satan.

~HEAVEN~

"You what?" questioned God.

Selenity stood her ground, but inside her heart broke even more as she
replied, "I've sent Quartre, Allen, Hotohori and Trunks to protect
MY daughter."

Tom: <Richard> What happened to her guardian angel?

Crow: <Serenity> On break.

Tom: <Richard> And the Holy Ghost?

Crow: <Serenity> On strike.

Tom: <Richard> Jesus?

Crow: <Serenity> Died for their sins.

Tom: <Richard> Heh, that was one HELL of a joke, huh?

Richard's anger overflowed as Lina smoothly rubbed his back as she
said, "Why? She's not that important."

"Lina is right," stated Richard as tears stung Selenity's soul.

"I dare you to say that again Richard!" she yelled to defend her
daughter's pride.

Joel: <Richard> Uh, can I take 'truth' instead?

Tom: Normally I'd advise against double daring the Almighty but
since this is RICHARD we're talking about here....

God hesitated but said softly for he knew this would break his love's
heart, "She's not important."

Crow: Love is love but a good backrub is just SO hard to find these
days....

Lina smirked in triumph as she looked at Selenity.

All: Slap her!  Slap her!  Slap her!

Selenity bit her lower lip and said firmly, "You will regret those words,
Richard, and I'll make sure of that." She nodded in determination as
she proudly walked out of the room that belonged to her ex-love.

Tom: <Richard> Ooh, what'cha gonna do?  Get a divorce?  Ha,
my church won't recognize it!  I'm the god!  I'M THE GOD!!!

Joel: <Serenity> Satan... err, Duo seems much more fun anyhow.

"Don't worry about her. She's a witch," scowled Lina as she hugged
her husband.

Crow: <Richard> Ah, I'll just sick Senator McCarthy on her then.

Tom: <Richard> And you are...?

Joel: <Lina> I am a magic user.  Not a witch.  I swear.

~NON-EXISTENCE REALM~

"Can you believe that bitch!" screamed Jupiter as she saw Lina
hugging their king.

Crow: Ah, so being in the non-existence realm is just like watching an
episode of Jerry Springer.

"Yeah! Manipulating our king!" Mars spat out in disgust.

Tom: <Mars as Santa Claus> Oooh!  Look at that old busy-body!
She'll make God want to steal again!

"Guys, I don't think he'll be our king for long," Mercury notified.

Joel: <Mercury> Something BIG is going down on C-SPAN, guys....

"I agree the romance between them is swaying...badly," Venus agreed
with a frown.

Tom: Like Paula Abdul on American Idol.

Joel: Like my science teacher at about ten in the morning.

"I say that she should go to hell!" yelled Endymion.

"SHUT UP!" yelled Galixia as she slapped the earthen prince.

Crow: <Endymion> D-Don't hit... or yell....

Tom: <Mars> Ooh!  My turn!  My turn!

The other four senshis silenced for they've never heard Galixia scream
before.

"You ok?" Venus asked carefully to make sure that she wouldn't tick
the golden senshi more.

"Hai, I'm just sick and tired of people not realizing Usagi-hime's pain,"
Galixia replied sadly.

Joel: <Rei> HER pain?  She's living the high life with an idiot Satan
and four angels, getting wined, dined, roses... and we're stuck in
purgatory with Tux-boy!

Crow:  <Galaxia, high whiny voice> Well, shopping with four angels
and a devil is, like, REALLY REALLY HARD, y'know?

Mercury nodded and commented, "Then we'll try harder in trying to
figure out a plan."

The others agreed, except for the nose bleeding Endymion.

Tom: <Mercury> Oops, my bra strap...

Crow: <Jupiter> Uh oh, Mercury's on the jazz again....

~MALL~

"Sugoi! This is so incredible!" gasped the cheerful angel of purity with
the ancient book clutched in a tight hug.

Joel: <ancient book> Aww, I love you too.

Crow: Book of Cosmos, meet Antique Road Show!

Trunks went into the mall and agreed with Usagi. 'God, the mall is
huge,' he thought as the angels and Shinigami stood behind Usagi
and observed the area just in case.

Usagi then turned around and announced, "Let's get a move on it."

The guys looked at her then nodded as they walked into a clothing store.

Joel: If they're in there to purchase Victoria's Secret Angel bras, I'm
gonna scream.

Tom: People were surprised to see Satan with bags from Gumballs,
Abercrombie & Fitch, and Gap.

Usagi was the one who actually walked around observing the clothes
as the other three wandered aimlessly, checking the perimeter as
Quartre stayed close to Usagi.

Joel: <Trunks> I'm bored.  Wanna go braid the ties?

Tom: <Duo> Sure.

(Note: I'm not describing what clothes they're wearing. Sorry, but you
can imagine it, right?)

Crow: Okay.  I see Usagi in... white.  With... red boots.  And a short
skirt... gee, why hasn't she worn THAT even once through this whole
fanfic?!

Tom: This really has precious little to do with canon at this point...

Joel: Or common sense.

After, like two hours of torture for the boys Usagi was satisfied with
her new clothing as she walked out of the store, holding the book.

Joel: <Quatre> I've never seen anybody take so long to buy a pair of
socks.

Tom: <Duo> Ah, torture.  I missed it so.

"So where are we going now Usagi-hime?" Hotohori asked.

Crow: <Usagi> Cinnabon!

Usagi froze as she said, "Please people don't call me Usagi-hime just
call me Usagi."

It was the angel's turn to freeze, except Trunks, as Allen explained,
"But Usagi-hime...er..um... Usagi it's only formal."

"But guys it's weird to people if you call me that," Usagi said, "Besides,
we're friends right?"

Those words stung Hotohori, 'Friends? She only thinks of us as her
friends?' then he said, "Of course, Usagi, we're friends."

Joel: <Hotohori> Only friends... not your loyal harem or anything... *sob*

Crow: But where's Monica and Rachel?

Tom: B-movie hell if there's any justice.

Usagi nodded happily as they walked into a restaurant.

Crow: <Usagi> Mmmm, devil dogs.

~NON-EXISTENCE REALM~

"Have you guys figured it out yet?" Jupiter asked in a frustrated voice.

"Not yet," Mercury sighed as she shook her head.

Tom: <Jupiter> Where the HELL is Waldo?  Wait wait, we have 'till
the rest of time to get this right...

"I got it," Galixia whispered as the other senshis turned their attention
towards her.

Joel: <Galaxia> It was Miss White in the Library with the Candlestick!

"Well?" Mars asked in desperation.

Galixia nodded and explained, "I'll get Chibi-Chibi to go into the world
and complete the ancient book."

Tom: <Venus> Can she write?

Crow: <Galaxia> Are you kidding?  She did a great job with
Act III, Scene V of 'Macbeth'!

Joel: <Mercury> ....

"But I thought she was a part of you. So shouldn't she be dead?"
Jupiter asked.

Galixia shook her head, "Ile, Chibi-Chibi is the star seed of light which
decided to live in me for a while for she was weak and needed someone
to hide her from the darkness and hatred of humans. But then Chaos
raged into life and I was forced in setting Chibi-Chibi free from my body."

Joel: <Jupiter> So... you named your tapeworm?!

Crow: This gives all new meaning to "hollow her out and live in her"...

Tom: <singing> I don't know why she swallowed that fly... perhaps
she'll die?

"I see. So you and Chibi-Chibi are two people?" Mercury asked as
Galixia nodded.

"Then where the hell is your star seed?" Endymion asked.

Crow: <Galaxia> I could ask the same as you, O brave noble and
forthright Prince of Earth.

Joel: <Galaxia> Mine's buried in my time capsule.  But we can't
dig it up for another 100 years or so.

"Lost in the loop of space for I was a former guardian of Cosmos,
herself. I could only stay alive because of my will in finding my friend
and former queen," Galixia sighed.

Tom: Ah, this is the author's way of saying "I don't care about Galaxia's
backstory one damn bit."

"You're an ancient senshi? One of the very original?" Venus asked.

"Hai," came the simple answer.

Joel: She's just waiting for Aeris to join her in death and the cycle will
be complete.

Crow: She must've had more plastic surgery than a thousand Joan
Rivers combined!

~OUTTER MANSION~

"Minna!" shouted Hotaru as Hakura and Michiru turned to her and
asked, "Yes?"

"We HAVE to stay alive," the brave Firefly stated.

"Of course, to save the world," Michiru said.

Tom: <Hotaru> Better yet... to revolutionize the world!

All: Kashira, kashira, gozonji kashira....

"No, I mean seriously we HAVE to stay alive," Hotaru said desperately.

Crow: ... what, is this something Hotaru jokes about a lot?

"What are you getting at, Hotaru?" Hakura asked worriedly.

Crow: <Hotaru> I had... a vision.  A vision of purgatory... with bickering
Senshi.  It... was horrible!!

Tom: <Sakurakouji> Earth... sky... canon continuity... all are
crying out to be rescued....

"One phrase, Cosmos is coming," she replied as the senshis of both
wind and sea gasped in realization.

Joel: <Hotaru> We have to stop him before he has every man in the
universe wearing support garments and smelling like the beach!

~TIME GATE~

"All is piecing together like a puzzle," Setsuna whispered.

"What should I do?" Selenity asked her dear friend of time.

Crow: <Setsuna> See about an annulment.

Tom: <Setsuna> Hand me that tower over there and we can finally
cap Westminster Abbey.  Then we can start working on the Taj Mahal....

"Selenity-sama, don't worry the planets won't let this fail again,"
reassured Setsuna.

"But the war..." Selenity whispered in horror.

"It won't happen this time. I'm sure of it," stated Setsuna firmly.

Crow: <Setsuna> Well, not unless Tomino directs....

"I hope so. Dear god I hope so," Selenity said as Setsuna glowed
dark red.

Tom: <Setsuna> Self-destruct sequence activated.

Joel: <Serenity> W-Whoa!  Don't go pulling a Big Cheese on me now?!

"Almost time," she told her queen.

"The planets will line up and eventually choose. And choose they will
for it's time when they get their queen back," Selenity repeated the last
line of a certain book.

Crow: Of course, the planets had to send a pawn to the back row.

Tom: Ladies and cosmic deities! Welcome to the 2004 Planet's Choice
Awards!!

~NON-EXSISTENCE REALM~

"Ok. We got that settled. Another question, how can Chibi-Chibi finish
the book?" Mars asked.

Joel: Holy Ghost writer.

Crow: Oh, once she gets her hands on it, it'll be finished all right.

"Cause Chibi-Chibi is one of the guardians who protected Sailor Cosmos
too. Since we are separate she's the one actually alive for she was
damaged in the Great War and needed me. I agreed for I am her friend,"
Galixia announced.

The other senshis nodded understandingly.

Tom: While the MSTers shook their heads bewilderedly.

Crow: If it helps any, my head is in my hands...

Joel: Well, with THIS much build up, it's gotta have a huge payoff, right?

END OF CHAPTER FOUR!

Joel: <sighs> No, I guess that was too much to hope for....

Tom: About &$%#* time.

Crow: The author Just Didn't Care.

I KNOW SHORTER THAN THE OTHER ONES, BUT I WANTED
TO GIVE YOU A CLIFFFY.

Tom: Funny, I though a cliffy would've been someone explaining about
how the US Postal Service would deliver only three envelopes a
day to Amsterhaul, Montana... or how it's a little known fact that
honeybees are not native to North America.  Or...

Joel: This was more like *Woody* writing a Cliffy really.

Crow: Pity it wasn't a Normy.  Considering what they've been through,
every senshi in this fic deserves a beer or three....

PLEASE R/R!
TENSHI CAT

Tom: <singing> There's one more feline in heaven....

Joel: <shaking his head> Wow... I mean... wow.  What else can I say?
Such a goofy story....

Crow: You ain't kidding, bub.  Here we have Sailor Moon, who is really
just Usagi for the whole danged fic.  A truck does the work that Beryl,
Metallia, Ann and Ail, and numerous others couldn't...

Tom: She goes to some sort of Heaven, featuring Richard da God and
his many "happy" wives... and after a run-in with the most demonic angel
this side of Shamshiel, she's sent to Hell... featuring Duo da Devil and his
happy harpies....

Joel: Yeah, then she somehow tricks Satan... err, Duo to give her second
life without a messy soul transaction or anything... goes through a ton of
weird exposition based on some council of stars with their seeds...while
Shamshiel starts slaughtering Children... err, I mean Senshi...

Tom: We find that the rest of the Inner Senshi are condemned to purgatory
with the wuss that started the ball rolling in the first place while the Outer
Senshi... <starts singing> ...still haven't found... what they're looking for...

Crow: Then it suddenly turns into 'The 5th Wheel' with Usagi being fussed,
fawned and fought over while she shops for socks... and God... err, Richard
acts more and more like Louis XIV until we get a "cliffy" consisting of one
lone pugatory-ed Sailor sending her tapeworm forth to do celestial battle!

Joel: You know, guys... I think 'Spawn' had much more continuity
and was much more believable overall.

Tom: Heh, I'll take your word for it, Joel.

Crow: I still liked it better than 'Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey' myself....

(Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater)


*            *            *

DEEP 13

     Dr. Forrester stood before the altar of Richard, his hands clenched
into fists and his voice trembling with anger.

     "They are fools!  Fools, all of them!  They will regret their mocking of
you, oh mighty Richard!  And now that the fanfic has weakened them, it
is time for you to unleash your full wrath... upon...."  Dr. Forrester trailed
off as he heard Torgo's theme music approaching, only it seemed to be
overlapping itself now.  Then he realized why as Torgo and Frank slowly
shambled into Deep 13.

     While Torgo looked the same as always, Frank was now identically
dressed like him, right down to the hideously large knees that were
obviously some cantaloupes stuffed down his pants.

     "Frank, I sent you two out to find converts hours ago!  Where the
hell have you been!?  I can't summon the wrath of Richard by myself!
And why are you both out of uniform!?" Dr. Forrester growled
menacingly.

     "I'm sorry, Steve... but Torgo has shown me a new light of hope... I
now serve... The Master."  Frank replied solemnly.

     "WHAT!?  Frank, how could you let this idiot talk you into... what
am I saying... that's how I got you away from 'Arbys' in the first place...."
Dr. Forrester muttered to himself while rubbing his temples.  "Look,
Frank...."

     "There is no Frank.  Not anymore.  My new name is... is... say Torgo,
what's my cool new cult name?"  Frank whispered excitedly.

     "yOu dON't nEeD oNe, tV's FRaNk... ThE maSTeR oNLy rEQuiREs
aBSoLutE oBdiENcE... aNd fiFTy cENtS a wEeK FoR dUEs...." Torgo
replied.

     "Fifty cents?"  Dr. Forrester echoed, confused.

     "DoN't aSk mE wHerE iT gOEs... I nEVeR sEE a DiMe...."  Torgo
sighed.

     "All right, enough of this crap!  Torgo, OUT!  Frank, looks like I'm
gonna have to deprogram you again.  Now then, where'd I put that
Beethoven album and cattle prod.....?"  Dr. Forrester mused as he knelt
down to look underneath the console.

     Meanwhile, Frank briefly glanced over at Torgo who gave him a shaky
but affirmative nod in return.  Frank made sure Dr. Forrester wasn't
watching him while simultaneously reaching into his pants and pulling out
a spare cattle prod.  Then, never taking his eyes off the distracted mad
scientist, Frank quietly snuck up behind him and firmly held the prod
against his back while nudging the switch forward....

     "YARRRRGHHHH!!!"

     Dr. Forrester jumped up with a start, banging his head underneath the
console before crawling out, disoriented.  Then he noticed Frank twitching
on the floor, one hand still clutching the wrong end of the cattle prod.

     "Frank, how many times have I told you not to start without me!"  Dr.
Forrester chided while Torgo slowly made his way to the door, muttering
to himself....

     "I DiDN't WaNT tO sHArE tHe mAStEr's wIVeS wITh HiM,
aNYwAy...."


...AND THE MSTINGS
            CONTINUE...


I hope you enjoyed this and comments are very welcome.
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com) (lynxara@gmail.com )

Author's Notes: Whew, it's finally done!  I wanted the fifth season to
open with a bang and I think this is some of the best work we've turned
out in some time.  It was a blast as always to work with Zoogz and
Alicia and this story was a true pleasure to MST from beginning to end.
The editing, on the other hand... well, let's just say we got through it.  ;P

I've been MSTing for over seven years now and I want to thank each
and every person who's send me words of support and encouragement
and who have helped me with my MSTs over the years.  I treasure
every piece of fan mail I receive and I consider it a great honor that
some people have dedicated their MSTings to me and tell me that I
helped encourage them to start MSTing.  To all of you, thank you from
the bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue to inspire and make
you laugh for a long time to come.  :)

I'd like to give personal thanks to Zoogz, who helped me with some
in-depth C&C and suggested riffs for this MSTing....

- Zoogz's 'Mystery Science Cinema' series can be found at
http://www.nabiki.com/mst/zoogz/mst/ including his latest MSTings
'Moon Honey Flash' and 'From Weird to Weirder'.  The editing of the
FFIRC MSTing 'Battle Royale' is also complete and all of these can
be found in the 'Recently Completed Projects' section of 'A MSTing
For All Seasons'.  Since this MST is finished, Zoogz is currently
between projects but should have a new MSTing on the horizon before
too long.

I'd also like to give personal thanks to Lynxara, who was nice enough to
critique this work more than once as well as suggest riffs and
improvements....

- Be sure to check out Lynxara's webcomic at http://www.fantasywars.org!

- Also, check out Lynxara's MWT3K MSTings at
http://rotnluk.com/lynxaradex.html as well as her numerous other bodies
of work which can be found at
http://www.polarcom.com/~damienk/Lynxara/lynx.htm


***All of Zoogz and my MSTings and the MSTings we've contributed
to can be found in the various categories at:***

'A MSTing for All Seasons'
http://www.nabiki.com/mst

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://www.svamcentral.org/svam/

"SHUT UP!!!!!" God yelled, everyone was in total shock from this
girl's whole talk.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 2004 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.


Keep Circulating the Fanfics....


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