"DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net> writes:
Chiyo walked through the woods cautiously, keeping her gun pointed low to
prevent her arms from growing tired. She only wished she could put it back
in her pack, but she didn't dare, not with all the people out there ready to
kill her on sight.
The heat began to get to Chiyo. She sat on a tree stump, wiping the sweat
from her brow. The sound of a dead branch snapping behind her nearly made
her drop her pistol. She turned, trembling in fear as she wondered who had
gotten the drop on her.
Two students, a boy and girl, emerged from the woods. The boy had a .45
automatic in his hand, the girl a grenade. Her finger was through the pin,
ready to pull it and throw the explosive on a moment's notice.
She gets one grenade? No wonder she teamed up.
At any rate, this scene didn't work tremendously well for me. The
story is already a mockery of BR, but this was too direct a nod for my
taste. (And the other 5 people mentioned... they then never showed up
again. I'd suggest at least not mentioning them).
The other parts were amusing, in a somewhat gruesome way. Preferred
the nuclear ending; it was starting to run a little long, so getting
rid of everybody was fitting. :-)