Subject: [FFML] Re: [FFML][BGC][Shortfic][Metropolitan Blues 01: CUT]
From: hkmiller
Date: 2/24/2004, 9:16 AM
To: HARIJUBAL@aol.com
CC: ffml@anifics.com


Nice little shortfic.  Is this preliminary to some longer work?  You've 
put some thought
into who these characters are; it would be a shame not to make use of 
that in a real
story.

HARIJUBAL@aol.com wrote:

   But, well, if I were totally honest, I'd have to say that Linna-that's 
Linna Yamazaki-is my, I dunno, best (?) friend.    Linna and I are around the same 
age, we've gone through a lot of the same things, so we have a lot of 
commonality to bond us even without this thing we do, but we're also different enough 
that it's not like talking to a copy of me.
 

A fairly orthodox Priss, but Priss almost has to be this way, since we 
know her
better than the others from the series.  Linna as best friend strikes me 
as true, too.

   My father was called Katsuhiko Stingray.  This was not the name he was 
born with.  I do not know what that was.

Intriguing point; a good starter into a longer fic.

   Our minds were made better.  Our nervous systems made faster.  Our bodies 
better.  Information is absorbed and processed faster.  Everything faster.  
Everything better.  Everything stranger.  Optimized humans.
 

"He could make us better than before.  Better, faster, stronger."  Cut 
to kaleidoscopic scenes
of Sylia running through a desert at 60 mph, see infrared in complete 
darkness, lifting one end
of a car with one hand.  :)

   The television not only fed my sickness, it also gave me dance.  I saw my 
first Hikaru Hiyama movie one day, one of her earliest works, "Downtown 
Cats."  

   Now I dance only in the street.
 

Might want to expand on this:  ", asserting my own existence with with 
every sidestep
which cuts off a boomer's arm, every whirl that cuts off a boomer's 
head."  Linna having
a self-image primarily as a dancer has always struck me as one of the 
best ways

NENE

   They call her Nene Romanova, the purple clad guardian of freedom and 
defender of justice!  Who, along with her daily life as a heroic A.D. Police 
officer, protects the citizens of Megatokyo from crime and fear!
 

Nene is Minako?  (blinks)  Or Natsumi Tsujimoto?

Seriously, this struck me as a bit OOC, though I'm not sure why; this 
just isn't how
I see Nene.

Have you heard how your older sister went to a third world nation and made it a paradise on Earth all by herself?  
 

Another interesting premise for further stories.

   (Come to think of it, I guess I have more in common with my uncle than 
anything.  He was a cop too and according to all the old family stories, a bit 
of rebel.  There have been cops before in our family, but none like him.  I 
really would have liked to have met him more times than I did.)
 

And who was this?  Goto?  For that matter, who were Linna's parents?




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