Subject: [FFML] Re: [spamfic] [r.5] The Wandering Stranger
From: Zorknot
Date: 2/16/2004, 3:36 PM
To: ffml


--- Abdiel <gab_ab@edsamail.com.ph> wrote:

     It was a foreboding sight. Dark clouds loomed
ominously as only 
ominously-looking dark clouds could. Rain pelted
like silver bullets 
exploding impact after impact... over and over.

     Cold rain poured over The Wandering Stranger's
black, wet hat as 
cold rain tended to do that on a hat. 

Well, I'm replying to this spamfic, as I am wont to do
that on ocassion, and I am noting, as only someone
replying to a spamfic can, that you seem to running a
particular technique of humor into the ground, which
of course is what many "bad", which is to say "not
funny", spamfics do. Can you guess what that technique
is?^_^

Also "gratuitously" means basically "without need" or
"in an uncalled for action" and not "profusely" or "in
great abundance" as you seem to use it at the end of
this spamfic. "The man with OCD gratuitously locked
and unlocked his door. When Bill looked at the latest
issue of Penthouse, blood spurted out of his nose
profusely."

There are some definate good elements here. You
describe the character and scenery with concrete
images that do very well to give a visual impression
of what's going on, but the punchline is a little
lacking and the bit with the clouds and the hat at the
beginning had me groaning.

=====
http://www.geocities.com/zorukonotsu/fanfics.html
http://www.fanfiction.net/~zorknot

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