The Wandering Stranger
A Ranma 1/2 spamfic
By Chester Casta�eda
I just picked this one up from the FFML mini-archive.
I was quite the uniquely bad writer back then.
A few more notes before proceeding:
" " indicates character speech
< > indicates character thoughts
It was a foreboding sight. Dark clouds loomed ominously as only
ominously-looking dark clouds could. Rain pelted like silver bullets
exploding impact after impact... over and over.
Cold rain poured over The Wandering Stranger's black, wet hat as
cold rain tended to do that on a hat. Wearing a trench coat reminiscent
of a certain computer-inspired foreign film franchise, The Wandering
Stranger had the form reminiscent of a Jewish priest. He grinned his
toothy little grin right under his hat, hiding the eyes for the right
effect. His incredibly powerful Dai Mugen Ryu technique, a technique so
brutal only one man can be trusted with its full power, et cetera, et
cetera... could level the universe, parallel worlds and could get rid
of household lint in one brusque stroke, would do well in the
forthcoming events. Yes, a truly manly technique, Nodoka Saotome would
It was all-in-all good, since said Wandering Stranger was four
feet tall and had the build of an emancipated Gosunkugi... which, in
effect, was a redundant redundancy.
He kept on grinning, managing to look as frightening as only a
looming diminutive Jewish priest-like person could. He waited.
He waited still.
And still he waited amidst the screech of a stray cat.
<Damned cat.> Actually, 'Damned cat intestines,' but no matter...
His hour of reckoning... to regain his honor in the eyes of the Council
of Dai Mugen Ryu... beckoned him to move on, or rather stay put as the
case may be, amidst the numbing rain and a frog crawling from under his
A croaking sound and a sickening splatter soon followed.
All was well.
After two hours and a half, a splattered cat, dog, mice, frogs...
there was another one, just right below the left sock... and a horse,
<....> he finally arrived. With the grace and skillfulness of a swan
wearing Chinese shoes, the apparition descended from the rooftops
towards the top of a wall directly facing the Wandering Stranger.
So there he was... Ranma Saotome.
The diminutive Jewish Pri--Wandering Stranger merely grinned his
feral grin in acknowledgement of the boy, showing canines a hyena could
be proud off. He carefully studied the young specimen of manhood in his
decisively Chinese garb, his slim figure, his fiery-red hair, his wet
white shirt, his voluptuous chests... It would be a short fight for such
as one as skilled as a master of Dai Mugen Ryu....
There was something to be known about The Wandering Stranger...
He had killed countless in his wake, and soon his countenance
became absolute apathy. He was now truly dead, with no will nor regret.
He was a person trapped in a never-ending nightmare, cursed never to
wake up. He lost all consideration of life's significance as he consumed
vivacity like a cigarette, in slow puffs. He was as dead as he truly
thought he was, in mind and body.
And _that_ would have made for a nice back-story too... except he
wasn't at all anything like that, no.
The Wandering Stranger, A.K.A. Akira "chibi" Miki, who had been
studying the art of Dai Mugen Ryu for a long, long time... had certain
issues about himself. Actually, he had this self-esteem problem
regarding his being "chibi." It was hard for a four feet tall, frail
looking thing like himself to earn respect nowadays. But it was not even
about that. He was "chibi" in _every_ way possible. So without further elaboration, he had this issue with girls and such, making him super-shy
around any femmes just as any Ryoga Hibiki would. That was why he
learned the Dai Mugen Ryu. He would earn/beat the living crap out of
anyone who didn't give him due respect and deference. He would be a hit
with the girls... He'd show them that he could be big in other ways....
It was a hellish site indeed. As the rain poured, so did the blood.
There was a splattered pool of crimson, gratuitously pouring into the
pavement amidst the unforgiving deluge. It continued to slowly grow from
a steadily gushing source.
Ranma Saotome merely shrugged and went her way as the diminutive
Jewish Priest look-alike had a severe case of nosebleed.
Author's Notes: I was bored. I just finished Kenko's Girl Days.
Here's the end result. And that is my note.
If anybody cares, here's the deal... I've been editing a whole
chunk of my fics for grammar mistakes I've just recently
discovered... particularly the fics Shonen and Rurouni Yahiko.
Oh, and Youtou Shinnoken too. And as I began rummaging into
my files, lo and behold... I found this little 'jewel' of a
fic. I tweaked it a bit, and I posted it here again. The way I
figure it, it's been so long ago I doubt anybody'll remember
Anyhow... whatever. Enjoy if you could. If not, direct flames
at this address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 are not mine but the property of Rumiko
Takahashi and various other companies. The Wandering Stranger
is on his own, whether he likes it or not.
EDSAMAIL. Internet the way YOU WANT IT.
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