Hiya,

I was stuck myself on what to say about this chapter fragment, but I think
Zorknot articulated my feelings very well. It's not that it was badly done,
just that it was all combat, and very DBZ style, too. "I'll give it my 
all!"
<fizzle> "Oh? You're still standing? Very well, THIS time, I'll REALLY give
it my all!" <fizzle> "Egads! This guy's a monster! I must grind my teeth 
and
angst about it!" ~_^

Uh oh, sounds like some of that Choices angst is bleeding over.  Nah, I know 
what you mean, and like I said in the the reply to Zorknot, I'll see what I 
can do to tweak it.  I'll proabably beef up the dialogue between the two, 
for one thing--after all, what's an anime-style fight without a long pause 
in which the villain drops important hints (while the hero grinds his teeth, 
of course). ;)  Actually, I like that... I'm going to find a way to slip in 
a teeth-grinding moment!

I also think that you've held off too long on the payoff, plot-wise- you're
several years into the story, here (in real time) and we're only just
starting to find out what's going on? That's a little long to wait for

Argh!  It hurts because it's true.  I do appologize for my attrocious 
writing speed.  The first five chapters came out pretty quickly, but the 
pause between 5 and 6 was absurdly long (I wrote the opening segment about a 
year before I picked it up again, even).  I wish I could promise that I'll 
speed along at a fair clip from here on in... I'll try, at least.  Being 
back in school seems to help... fanfiction is a great tool for 
procrastinating on assignments.

answers if you're a reader. If you were a faster writer (or had more free
time to devote to writing and releasing, anyway) delaying rvelations like
this might not be a bad thing, since the wait wouldn't be too tortuous, but
I've been reading and re-reading this story for about three years now, and
I'm starting to go squirrely. You've got my attention and my interest, now
hurry up and do something with it! :)

Heh... well, I'll take the compliment hidden in there (it's always good to 
hear that a story is worth rereading!), and I proimise that before the end 
of this chapter, some important plot stuff will be revealed.  Not all of it, 
of course... <grin>

Sorry I couldn't be more positive, either, but to repeat, it wasn't BAD,
just a bit of a let-down thanks to the wait. I really have been enjoying
this story, I'd just like to see it get someplace. ~_^

Hmm... I kind of feel like Star Wars Episode I (without the Jar Jar Binks, 
though if I bring Happosai back I guess he could fill the role).  I'll try 
and keep the wait shorter this time.  And hopefully where it goes won't 
disappoint.

And as always, thanks for the feedback!

-Mike

e-mail: noakes_m@hotmail.com
homepage: http://www.geocities.com/noakes_m
blog!: http://noakes.blogspot.com

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