Hi Krista.  =)  I admit, I didn't expect a response from you because I know
you didn't care for the premise behind the original TOP.  Says something
about your artistic integrity when you can offer feedback on a story that
goes in a direction you don't necessarily agree with.

Of course, that could be because I'm a woman who flunked
out of high school co-ed swim class because I couldn't
bear dressing in a swimsuit after several guys made crude
comments about my breasts and groped me in the pool -- 
and then the girls told me I should be flattered rather than
upset about it.

Argh.  =(  Very sorry to hear that, Krista.  It goes to show how behavior on
both sides of the gender aisle can be very unpleasant.

You may think Ranma's behavior is over the top, but to me,
when I read it, I was amazed at how Richard could jump
the gender gap and actually get into the head of a female who
has been given more than enough reason to be paranoid about
what the guys are thinking, and what they might do to act on
those thoughts.

Thanks, Krista.  A large part of this came from observations from my sister,
who is moderately well-endowed and has had to live with people staring at
her chest all her life.  After she said that, I started looking at men
looking at women, and was actually pretty amazed at how often their gaze
stayed riveted below the neck of women.

Of course I can only imagine what that's like.  I'm glad I came reasonably
close in my characterization.

The only problem *I* had with the story was that I felt that
Ranma hooking up with her student at the end was waaay
too out of the blue.

Well, and to be honest that's my problem, too.  I meant to extrapolate on
this more during her summer break, but I just couldn't articulate it well.
It's supposed to be that her loneliness combined with her homophobia (thus
excluding any lesbian activities) eventually pushed her to give the
relationship with Kentaro a try.  But I couldn't just expound for any length
on her homophobia, because I hate homophobia myself.  And it's hard for me
to write a sympathetic viewpoint of someone who is homophobic.  So I tried
to find other ways around it - mostly with the mental imagery that she needs
to think of herself as a woman, including doing things like dating a guy.  I
agree it didn't come across so well, but I'm at a loss as to how to do it
better.  =(

If anyone has any ideas about this, I'd love to hear it.

Ranma hardly ever thinks about this guy, and he only shows
up in the story twice -- once when he watches her work out
and asks to become her student, and then when she shows up
at the track in a dress and kisses him.  Umm....  I remember
this working form his (whatever his name is) point of view,
but from Ranma's point of view, there's a whole thought
process about this guy that's missing from the story.

A valid criticism.  The first two stories in the TOP saga are written from
Kentaro's perspective, keeping Ranma's viewpoint strictly inferential.
Ranma isn't even named until halfway through the first story.  So I went
completely the other way on this story - Kentaro isn't named, and isn't
given much consideration in Ranma's internal dialogue.  This was a stylistic
choice, and I agree that the fic may have suffered from it, making Ranma's
decision to date him at the end seem unjustified.

I'll have to think it over.

And Richard, I'm absolutely thrilled that you're putting up
your website stories again.  I've missed your stories.  ^_^

Thanks, Krista.  =)

I'll refrain from asking the usual question - you know what it is.  =)  Just
so you know, I regularly check your website too.

-Richard

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