Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 00:15:50 -0700 Steve Thesken <sthesken@earthlink.net>
wrote:

"I'm home," Ranma called out tiredly as he kicked off his shoes in the
entryway area, closing the front door behind him.  Even after being
treated by Dr.  Tofu and being assured that nothing was broken, he
still felt like he wanted to sleep for a week.  Luckily, the man was as
skilled as the ones that Ranma knew from those other lives.  {After
showing : When Nabiki and Ranma showed} up at the house he and Kasumi
lived in together and {explaining : explained} the situation, he had
let them in with a professional smile.

"Hmm?" said Genma, coming into the room.  "Something happen on your
date with Nabiki, boy?"

Yeah, she's a REAL wildcat.

"I don't really wanna talk about it," Ranma muttered, walking past them
both and {heading towards : continuing to} his room.

Genma nodded and grunted, and then he headed {off :} to Ranma's room.
He knocked once at the door and then walked in without waiting for any
response.  He saw Ranma in the midst of pulling his shirt off, and he
noted the bruises the boy had.  Shutting the door behind him, he said,
"So, what happened, Ranma?"

"Luckily, you've got me in your corner, {boy : Boy}.  It looks like
the first thing we need to work on is your conditioning.  It just won't
do to have you getting beaten up by your own fianc�e.  Don't you have
any pride at all?  What kind of a man loses to a woman?"

Genma should realize that anyone is most dangerous when cornered.

Kinnosuke sighed, his injuries still paining him a bit.  He knew he
needed some time away from this situation, time to heal and prepare.
Grandfather had suggested Whitehall, and it would be a simple enough
matter for him to transfer there.  Money and influence helped in such
things.

I could see him going off to an hot spring until the bruises go down, but
I can't see him leaving the Academy.  It would seem too much like a
retreat.

Even though it was raining, nothing seemed able to spoil her day now.

That's scary.

Turning the page, Nodoka felt her heart flutter at the sight of the
photo on the next page, of a roguishly handsome young man with a lithe
build, dressed in casual clothing.  He was perhaps sixteen or seventeen
years old, smiling at the camera as he held a naginata in a martial
pose.  He stood next to her younger self in the picture, who was posing
with a bokken in hand and looking both fierce and happy.  Tears swelled
within Nodoka's eyes as she gazed at the treasured photograph, and her
fingers gently brushed the edges of it.

Soun?

Ryoko's blush deepened.  This was not the sort of thing any teenaged
daughter wanted to hear from her mother.  "Nothing happened, Mom!  We
just did some sparring while we traveled together, and we talked a bit.
That's all!"

"You can't do that, you're my mother!"

"I've given it a lot of thought about who would be a good candidate for
you, and my best friend Nodoka has a boy who's only a little younger
than you."

And he's available, of course.

"Now, there are a few other girls already pursuing him, or so Nodoka
confided in me, and she's told me there aren't any formal arrangements
yet.  I'm confident that you could turn the boy's head, if you set your
mind to it."  She smiled proudly.  "Besides, nothing would please me
more than to see you marrying my oldest and dearest friend's only son,
uniting our two families together in an honorable marriage."

At least Ryoko knows about that going in.

Ryoko wasn't concerned, if it actually came to violence.  She had never
met a boy yet she couldn't beat into the ground in a fight.  It seemed
a good, workable plan, nicely simple and straightforward, practically
guaranteed to work.

What could possibly go wrong?

Turning around, Ryoga began wending his way through the enormous house,
while he thought about how he would help poor Ryoko.  Maybe he could
offer to pretend to be her boyfriend?

Now that would be a great help...  NOT!

"Argh!"  Ryoga stomped across the hallway and flung the door {open,
before : open.  Then} he quickly disappeared inside and shut it behind
him.

Yumi casually picked up her battle spatula from underneath the bar and
whacked him over the head {wit : with} it.  "Calm down, Hibiki-kun,"
she said in a mild tone as he stood there, looking a bit stunned.
While her battle was looking a little dented, at least the blow seemed
to calm him a bit.  To the shocked girl she said, "Ukyo isn't here
right now, Ryoko, but I know where he is.  Both of you make yourselves
useful and help me clean up, and I'll tell you where you could find him
when you're done.  Ukyo's not too far."

A very witty comeback by Yumi.

Kenseiko sprang to her feet, grabbing Nodoka roughly by the front of
her kimono.  "This is exactly the sort of underhanded surprise you used
to pull on me when we were younger, whenever I managed to obtain any
kind of advantage over you!"

Nodoka got pregnant then too?  :}b

"I know what you mean."  Nodoka dabbed at her face with a handkerchief,
grimacing when it came away bloody.  "After getting married and having
our own families, we both turned into our mothers, didn't we?"

Which makes me still wonder what kind of hell-raisers their mothers were
when they were young.

Whoa!  He's fast!  Even though he knew he wasn't in his best shape at
the moment, after what had happened last night and this morning, he
couldn't stand by and let Ryoga beat Ukyo to a pulp.  But he had been
caught offguard by Ryoga's speed, and the umbrella slammed him in a
solid blow across his midsection.  His trajectory carried him towards
the new opening in the wall, but he came to an abrupt stop when he
suddenly impacted headfirst into Ryoko's chest, burying his face in
between her breasts.  The sheer force of the collision stunned him and
actually knocked her back half a step.

At least that runs true to form.

"Ranma?"  Ryoko glanced once at Nabiki and then back to the pigtailed
boy she was holding.  "Are you Ranma Saotome?"

Now that they've been introduced it should be all right.  Right?

Ryoko absently released Ranma, and he decided to get out of the way and
let Nabiki handle this one herself.

He's learned a little wisdom it seems.

Meanwhile, Ukyo managed to catch Ryoga in a solid blow across his chest
with a roundhouse kick, and he flew towards the window, blasting aside
a few desks in his path and narrowly missing Ranma.  Ryoga {impacted :
slammed} hard into Ryoko, and the pair went sailing out the window.
She took that opportunity to leap out the door, intent on retrieving
her spatula from her locker.

Ryoga stood on a street corner somewhere in the Nerima area and looked
around for some sign that was even vaguely familiar.  {Passerbys :
Passers-by} eyed him, and his rage just seemed to intensify at the
interest they paid him.  With a growl, after putting his fist through a
nearby stone wall, he began stomping down the street, certain that the
campus was around here somewhere.

Toga idly lolled his head to look in the direction of the only other
occupant of the chamber.  He was a gaijin, English, specifically.  Dry
and wrinkled, as befitted his ninety years, he looked like a piece of
leather than had been left out in the sun {to : too} long.  Still he
retained a full head of immaculately groomed hair, and stood with
posture so stiff Toga wagered one could have set a greased rubber ball
atop his head and it wouldn't move a millimeter.  His tailored suit was
fitting that of his position in the Kiryu household: Butler.  Not a
post used often in the Empire, it was seen as too foreign and there
were other jobs that filled the same requirements and whose names were
native to the land.  But that was the title Laughlin insisted upon when
he was introduced to others.  It had been the name of the job when he
had been hired; it would remain so until the day he died.  And despite
the man's advanced years, Toga would not be surprised if the wizened
butler outlived at least another generation of {Kiryus' : Kiryus}.

He put Laughlin in the back of his mind and decided to personally
acquire the Tendo's measurements.  Toga was the future, and while he
was not wont for emotional decisions, too many failures would result in
demotion and possible firing.  The task would be simple enough, and it
would be a break from his cover of being a simple stockboy.  It would
be a simple enough matter to sneak into the school and go through the
medical files on her.  He had just the right costume.  No one ever
questioned a janitor, after all.

That should be easy, in and out quickly with the numbers.  Why am I
wondering whether the Academy will be left standing or not?

--
Mac :})
Give a hobbit a fish and he eats fish for a day.
Give a hobbit a ring and he eats fish for an age.


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