Aishuu Offers:
Lessons in How to Make a Bishounen Snap
~ A Hikaru no Go fanfiction ~
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Hotta and Obata wouldn't sue, right?
 
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PART THREE: Head Games, Social Secretaries and Rising
Stress Levels      
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Apparently they could do that.
 
Or so I found out. 
                                
When I went to see the administration, I immediately
asked to see Reiji. Kaidou was going to be
completely unreasonable, I knew, so the only other
option was to go over his head and get things
sorted out there.
 
I was in a foul mood, though I'm sure only those who
knew me best could have recognized it. My
expression was cool and collected, and even though I
was missing my first class, no one in the office
saw fit to question me.
 
It only took about half an hour to get in to see the
principal. Reiji was seated behind his desk, going
through the stack of papers, which had apparently not
shrunk at all since the last time I saw him. His
hands twitched in a slightly nervous motion, and I
could tell he had a pretty good idea why I was
there.
 
Watch the hands, my father had told me when I was very
young. Do they fiddle? Are they confident
or too slow? Do they hesitate? The hands will tell you
what the face won't. He had told me that
about Go, but it was true about life as well.
 
A lot of lessons about Go worked in life.
 
"Hello, Reiji-sensei," I said, bowing. "I wanted to
talk to you about the formation of a new club," I
told him, narrowed eyes on his face. I had used the
same look to make my opponents resign more
than once, and I knew that Reiji would probably crack
under it as well.
 
He was made of sterner stuff than I gave him credit
for. He gave me a decidedly bland smile. "I see
word has reached you about your fan club forming,
Touya-kun," he said. Pushing the papers aside,
he threaded his fingers together on his desk
 
"You could say that," I told him. "Is it standard
school practice to fund clubs that essential amount
to students stalking other students?" I asked. My
voice was soft, but the tone was sharp enough that
it could cut diamond. Ogata-sensei was the master of
the verbal spanking, and I had learned from
him.
 
It was with great satisfaction that I saw beads of
sweat begin to form at Reiji's brow. His eyebrow
twitched, and I knew I had him. "I wouldn't call it
THAT,  Touya-kun...."
 
"What would you call it?" I asked in a deceptively
neutral voice, taking a seat across from him
without invitation. Leaning forward, I stared at him
without saying anything else. Mentally I began
a countdown of how long he'd be able to endure my
scrutiny.
 
Five... four... three...
 
CRACK!
 
I could practically hear his will shatter under my
intensity.
 
He shook a bit, and his hands reached up to run
through his thinning hair. "I'd call it fostering an
interesting in Japanese culture," he said
hurriedly."We don't have a Go club, and your presence
here
is to our advantage."
 
I saw right through it. Someone higher up was
pressuring the principal to strengthen the school's
cultural offerings, and I made a convenient excuse. "I
don't see how authorizing a /fan club/ for me
is going to accomplish that!" I said coolly, even
though my face still wore a smile. It was all I could
do to keep from lunging forward and throttling him,
but being around Shindou had heightened my
patience with sheer stupidity.
 
"The advisor has arranged to conduct Go lessons once a
week and will use your games to show how
the professional Go world works," Reiji explained
 
Kaidou-sensei had officially made my life hell, I
thought. "Reiji-sensei, I am here to go to school.
My professional life is completely separate-"
 
"And difficult to maintain, isn't it?" Reiji inserted.
"Part of the club's duties will be to support you by
making sure you receive notes from the classes you
inevitably miss."
 
"I-" I began, feeling myself backed into a corner and
not liking the feeling. My smile fell away, and I
gave him what Shindou called my "scary face." 
 
He flinched slightly.
 
Good.
 
"Reiji-sensei, you're not going to listen to any of my
objections, are you?" I asked after another
moment.
 
He just looked back at me. "I don't believe you have
any reason to be opposed," he replied in a
tremulous voice.
 
I could think of about fifty, and they all wore school
fukus. "This isn't over," I warned him. "I will
see that club dissolved!"
 
I rose to my feet and stalked out, shutting the door
quietly behind me, resisting the childish impulse
to slam it. Thoughts of exactly what I'd like to do to
the school administration raced through my
head, but sadly I lacked the imagination to go much
beyond tar and feathering.
 
School that day was the worst it had been since I
started classes.
 
The guys in my class, who had been thawing towards me,
were now treating me like a social pariah,
but the girls were now staring at me openly. It was
all I could to ignore them... I felt like a mouse
being circled by vultures. 
 
I decided to just pay attention to lessons and figure
out what the heck to do after school. Ichikawa's
advice hadn't worked - I hadn't had time to use it
before the girls got ahead of me. It looked like I
would have to figure this out on my own.
 
Lunchtime came, after a morning of having my
classmates stare at me, though for some reason, no
girls tossed notes on my desk, which was a first. I
was a bit curious about that, but I thanked the
kami for one small blessing.
 
Still, even as I dug out the lunch my mother had made
for me, I felt the eyes of the entire female
population of the class on me. Raising my chopsticks,
I took the tamago and started to eat it,
ignoring the queasy feeling of nervousness. If I
ignored them, maybe they'd go away....
 
Just goes to prove I have no common sense, thinking
such a thing.
 
As one, the four girls rose from their seats, coming
over. Maaya, Chieko, and Risa were there, but
there was another girl I didn't know standing slightly
behind them. 
 
"Hi, Touya-kun!" Maaya said. "We have something we'd
like to talk to you about."
 
"Yes?" I asked cautiously.
 
"We're the officers of your new fanclub!" she
pronounced cheerfully.
 
My eyes automatically darted around quickly searching
for an escape route. "Um," I said, trying to
keep from screaming out loud in frustration.
Sanctioned stalkers would have been more like it. "I
really don't have time for a fan club..." I said
finally. "I can't be helping girls out or anything -
I'm
very busy."
 
Maaya smiled at me. "Don't worry! We'll take care of
it!" She handed me a sheet of paper, and it
took all of my training to keep an impassive
expression.
 
Kami-sama save me, was my first thought. There, typed
out neatly, was the rest of my school life. I
stared at the black letters, unwilling to process the
information.
 
"We know your time is valuable, so your fan club has
taken it upon itself to make your life easier,"
Chieko explained. "We've assigned someone to keep
notes for when you have games, and Risa, as
club secretary, is going to schedule girls during an
hour each month to give love confessions and
offer love letters face to face. We know you don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a girl still likes to
do
it. We were thinking the second Friday... since you
won't usually be around Saturdays."
 
"Notes...?" I echoed. 
 
"Well, our job is to support you!" Maaya said. "I'm
the president, Chieko is my V.P., Risa is
secretary/treasurer...."
 
The girls laughed before turning to the girl I didn't
recognize. She was tall, taller than I was, and
built along sturdy lines. She was hardly the kind of
girl I would have anticipated going for the fan
club business, but there was something soft in her
face that made me realize she was deadly serious.
 
"Who are you?" I asked hesitantly.
 
"Isumi Emi," she replied shortly. "I'm  your
bodyguard."
 
BODYGUARD?
 
The chopsticks I had been holding slipped into my
lunch box, but no one noticed. "Do you think
that's necessary?" I asked politely, even though
inside I was screaming.
 
"Have you seen what fangirls /do/?" Chieko asked. "Emi
volunteered to accompany you to festivals
and other public events. Her cousin is a professional
Go player, so she knows enough to follow
along."
 
Images of fangirls clawing at my clothes flashed
before my eyes, one which I quickly suppressed. It
was just too horrible to think on. "I'm a Go player,
not an athlete! I'm not an idol," I told them.
They were going too far with this!
 
Starting the club was going too far, as far as I was
concerned.
 
"Isn't Go a sport?" Risa asked, speaking for the first
time. She was the quietest of the Dread Trio.
 
I sighed. "Yes, but...."
 
"So you're an  athlete!" she pronounced happily. "And
you're very famous, so you need a
bodyguard!"
 
I stared at them, realizing they weren't going to back
down.
 
Just peachy, I thought. I'd just acquired a
babysitter. From the way Emi was looking at me, I was
wagering that I would have a very hard time getting
away from her.
 
Inside my head, a voice that sounded suspiciously like
Shindou's was nearly dying of laughter at the
whole situation.
 
At least it couldn't get any worse, I consoled 
myself.
 
****

Of course, thinking that was just asking for trouble.
Murphy's law is like that, and it seemed I'd
been a victim to it ever since I had entered Toriyama.
 
It was Kaidou's math class where it went down. I was
studying logic proofs, something I was very
good at. I was good at math, but that didn't really
seem to matter to Kaidou-sensei. He kept inviting
me to spend time on games, and wanted to discuss them
He wasn't a bad player, but I felt like I was
being taken advantage of, so I kept making excuses. He
kept trying, though.
 
"Before we get to work, I'd like your class
representatives to come to the front of the room,"
Kaidoh-sensei said. He motioned to two students I only
knew by name, Fujita Eiri and Murisaki
Hitomi.
 
Fujita looked at Murisaki, and they spread out a pile
of papers on the desk. "We should have done
this earlier, but we only got the paperwork from the
council meeting we had at lunch," he told us.
"Our school is having a cultural festival in two
weeks, and we need to do something."
 
I paid polite attention, but I really wasn't that
interested. Whatever the others decided would be fine
by me. In two weeks... I didn't have a game scheduled,
but a tutoring session might come up.
 
"We're looking for suggestions, if anyone has
anything," Murisaki said.
 
"We can do an onigiri stand!" one of the girls piped
up. "I'm really good at making cute ones!"
 
"Food is going to be provided by most of the clubs, so
we were thinking more about some kind of
activity," Fujita said. "Is anyone any good at 
telling fortunes?"
 
"How about a play?" Another girl piped up.
 
"No time!" a boy countered.
 
"A games room!" a boy suggested.
 
"Too common!"
 
I listened as they bounced ideas back and forth,
amused. Some of them started squabbling of
possible decorations, and reminding others it was a
cultural festival.
 
"You're overlooking the obvious," Kaidoh-sensei said
from where he was observing. "Your class
has a valuable asset that none of the other classes
can compete with."
 
I shut my eyes. Oh, no.... He didn't mean....
 
I heard Maaya's enthusiastic voice as she suddenly
realized what the teacher was getting at. "That
would be perfect!" she squealed.
 
"Huh? What are you talking about, Wakahara-san?"
someone asked Maaya.
 
"It's perfect! We'll turn our classroom into a Go
salon, and Touya-sama can tutor!" she said
gleefully.

It was then I recognized that I really was starting to
develop a violent side. It was all I could do not
to get up and strangle her right there.
 
END PART THREE
 
 
No, this is not a yaoi story. This is Aishuu killing
stress.

Credit to tenshihanafubuki for the edit!
 
Part 4: Enter the Meijin's study group. Really, don't
you love "the voice of experience?" Sadly, what
do you do when it doesn't HAVE experience and seems
determined to laugh its ass off at you?
 


=====
Down, down, down, would the fall never come to an end?
Wonder how many miles I've fallen?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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