Hi there. Thanks for the smart input
(a very rare thing, I must stress).

 --- Denise Cameron <denisecameron@eastlink.ca> wrote: > 

REMARKS.
         ShinseikiEVANGELION is copyrighted by GAINAX, etc. etc. et
coetera, blah blah blah, iyada iyada iyada, end.

- And people think this sort of disclaimer is better then my absent one? ^-^
Anyway, moving on.

My point was to show how useless and annoying disclaimers are.

**************************** NIHIL OBSTAT ****************************

- Uhh...Nihil Obstat? Maybe I'm slow, but...sorry, I don't get it.

Brush up your Latin(and your knowledge on Christianism as well).

 

manner. In other words, the life of Katsuragi Misato was going to end
very soon. Besides, as they already knew that she had come to know

- Maybe get rid of the word "that", there, it sort of trips me. And put a
comma after "knew".

Gomen, just the way I write, just the way I think when I think in English,
which is not my mother tongue BTW.

ultimate decision about the future of mankind would be his and only
his. And she didn't care at all. A world without Kaji could ever be

- Should probably be "Could a world without Kaji ever be" etc

Same as above.

worth saving? A world that had been planned to contain no space for

- Again, "Could a world" etc

Idem.

 

With all her haesitations just overcome, Misato kissed Shinji in the

- hesitations.

Oh yeah, and it's wrong to write anaemia, gynaecology, Caesar, etc.
Don't presume that the dictionary writers know everything about etymology.

And 'on the', not 'in the', unless she's doing some sort of
modified french kiss...

You are right, she really did it.

 

he had never been 100% human, now there existed no one nor no thing

- Huh? He's never been 100% human? But...hmm. Not that I'm disbelieving
you outright, but do you have any proof of that?

*Analytical* evidence. Shinji, Asuka, Rei, Touji, etc., were genetically
modified people. Ordinary humans are unable to interact with an artificial Angel.

I'd be interested in seeing
it.
I've watched the whole thing (movies included) a few times, and I never
came to the conclusion that Shinji was not completely human.

Already answered.

of The King Of The Universe without being harmed lethally, Katsuragi
Misato died in piece.

- Err...peace, not piece ^-^ Glad to know I'm not the only one who does
typos like that.

Kuso! I didn�t notice it! Arigatou gozaimashita.

Part III.

This was the day on which Ikari Gendou screwed Ayanami Rei for the
last time. The Enlightenment of Ikari Shinji inevitably started the

- But it's Ritsuko that he...wait, unless this is something you've
purposefully
changed?

No. It should be quite evident that Gendou and Rei had always a "thing"
going on. And it also should be self-evident that it was because of jealousy
that Ritsuko destroyed the copies of Ayanami-chan.

Because he doesn't even try to do that

So sure? Because it does not appear on the screen, then
it never happened? Again, in this case too the evidences are not
direct, but are made clear by the careful analysis of ALL the *details*.

until after Rei starts to
merge with that Angel (or become possessed by it...however you see it.)

Part V.

On the morning after, the Mass-Production Models from Seele were
easily destroyed by the newborn supernatural powers of Asuka, Shinji
and Ayanami Rei. During the next nine days, the humans who had

- I'm still iffy about how Misato getting drunk, and making herself smell
of garlic and onion, then having sex with Shinji, gave him supernatural
powers. You're saying these powers were naturally in Shinji and could
only awaken once he's experienced the height of physical pleasure? Or
did it have to be a drunken, smelly Misato?

Both. And it had to be Misato _or_ any other woman who *really*
loved Shinji.
 

survived the so-called Second Impact were completely deleted by Eva
Unit-00, Eva Unit-01 and Eva Unit-02 with logic and efficiency. Having
the surface of the planet been conveniently purified, the new Age Of

- be, not been. Or maybe "After the surface of the planet was conveniently"
etc

Been ,not be. It seems you don't like the uncommon word-orders alright.
 

Gold finally began. According to what never ever would be mentioned by
the Dead Sea Scrolls, now Mother Earth belonged to the Children Of
Vishnu again. 'Twas yesterday once more.

- Interesting ending, though I admit that I am still confused. 

Wakarimasu. My good friend Patrick Drazen from Chicago, author of the
interesting book "Anime Explosion", wrote that unless one reads a lot of
good texts and surf a lot on the decent sides of the Internet, the anime fan
will keep seeing only a tiny fraction of ALL that is on the screen. But fear
not. He is 52 years old, and I am 40. You still have a whole lot of time
ahead =^.^=

You had some
good ideas in there, but perhaps if you did a bit more development and made
the parts longer and more explained, it would help. You have a good writing
style, too, actual plot events and action aside.

- Also, it's nice to see a fic from this anime, here. I had thought to do
one, but
it seems like such a task. How do you continue it? Rewriting, as you did, is
probably the only real way, considering how many million different ways
there
are to interpret the actual ending. Of course, that alone could make a
million
different fanfics that could be potentially good...^-^

Mata, doumo arigatou gozaimasu.

signed: G. von K.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::\\












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