Author's Note:

    This is a piece that I wrote a short while ago. It is a spoiler
 for anyone who has not yet gotten to the regrouping in Narshe,
 after the three seperate storylines that you can do in any
 order (it's hard to warn against spoilers without putting in 
spoilers in the process ^-^). Another way to say this is, if you
 have not been to the Solitary Island and don't know what that
 is, this would be a spoiler for you. There, that should be helpful
 while not spoiling anything

    Anyway, as the subject tags suggest, this is written from an
 alternate point of view. Enjoy, and I'd greatly appreciate any
 comments, as well as constructive criticisms. I wrote this fic 
about a year ago, now, and though I think my writing may have
evolved, I'm quite happy with this piece.

    Oh, on another note, this piece has 8 chapters, but I thought
that was a tad bulky for one email. So I will be sending it
in two parts, each with four chapters. The rest of it should
be arriving in your inbox not too long after this one.

------------------------------------------------------
Title: Beyond Pain
Game/Anime: Final Fantasy 3/6, by Squaresoft
Author: Denise Cameron aka Elena99 
------------------------------------------------------

Chapter One

The wisp of light shining through haystack thick clouds barely
illumined the small figure below. Running hastily. Scurrying to a
deeper shadow. Quick as a fox he dodged the light, running from tree
to tree, or rock to rock if the trees failed to meet his need for
cover. He finally stopped to slow down beside a bridge, and looked
over at the other side. Despite the fog and darkness, his dim grey
eyes made out the beacons of light that shone randomly around the
camp. The occasional tent, long but fat and ugly by daylight, was
still visible, but only if light shone nearby. The smell of blood and
ashes was in the air; campfires had been lit a while ago, perhaps they
were still even going. This made him hesitate, and his forehead
crinkled slightly.

"If you are so set on doing it...best to go now..." Said the boy. His
whisper, meant to stir his confidence, instead brought the tensity and
queasiness back to his stomach. A sour taste bit the back of his
throat, but he managed to grasp on the thin thread of confidence.
Holding his dark cloak closer to his shoulders, he walked forward,
half crutched over across the bridge.

The short span took him over a narrow, gurgling brook of rocks and
cold, cold water. The bridge was new though, not put there by his
people. He wanted to spit on it, but held his tongue; he had no time
for such childishness. He wasn't supposed to be out there to begin
with, let alone spitting on the Empires bridge as though pretending he
were spitting on the face of the Emperor himself. That would indeed be
a sight to lighten the hearts of his people; spitting on the bridge,
however, was not such a brave feat.

As his hard leather shoes met with the damp, uncomfortable sand of the
other side, he suddenly became more aware of his every movement. The
clinking of the three gold pieces still in his pocket from when he had
received pay two days ago; the swishing of his cloak against his shirt
and pants; the sound of his long, brown braid hitting his back when he
came to the abrupt stop. Sweat trickled down his back, cold as the
brook, and thoughts of turning back filled his mind. Then he forced
himself to step forward. One step, two steps, three steps...he was
going again now, he realized suddenly. He had overcome the fear, and
was now actually heading to the camp. For a moment, he considered
leaving the silly grin of pride on his face, then hardened it instead.
It was time to get down to work.

The closest tent was within a wolfs leap to his left. Crouching low,
he scanned the area, squinting his eyes. They had never been his best
attribute, his eyes. As a child, he had the worst trouble reading, and
barely managed to learn that as it was. Yet he trusted them tonight;
he had to, whether they could be or not. Walking closer to aid his
sight, he saw two barrels close by to the tent. It was barely shelter,
or a hiding place, yet it might do. Slowly, he crept up to them, his
hand ready to grasp the dagger hanging by his belt loop at a moments
notice. His older brothers dagger at that, but as good as his then.

Without another moments notice, everything went completely out of his
perception.

He hadn't even heard the dog sneaking up behind him. Even while being
bitten by the thing on his right shoulder, that was still his most
prominent thought. Where had that dog come from? His scream, he was
sure, was heard by all of the camp, but he didn't hear any of them
react. The dog was mauling his shoulder now, his paws tearing at his
arms and legs. Through pain so intense that it numbed him, he managed
to somehow take his dagger off of his belt, and stab the attacker.
Once in the dogs leg, and it howled, slashing him across the chest in
return. He realized then his already poor vision had turned to yellow;
everything was tinged yellow, including the night sky. An eerie dark
yellow, with golden stars.

Without realizing it, he finally managed to push the dog off. Somehow.
He wasn't quite clear on how, but somehow he was running back over the
bridge. Limping, unnoticed, unchased. He wondered if perhaps he had
killed the dog and they were tending to it now, but wouldn't some come
for him? But he didn't look back, couldn't look back. Barely noticing
the blood and pain anymore, he made his way all the way back to the
gates of the kingdom, and crawled in through the window he had tricked
open near the rear side of the doorway. There, once inside, he simply
collapsed.


Chapter Two

It was in the infirmary that he woke up again, unsure of how much time
had passed. Laying on a thin, covered mattress with his head on a
pillow, he opened his eyes before truly remembering what had happened.
Not a sound could be heard in the room. Sitting up slowly, he sat
there for a moment looking around. There was another bed, he was sure,
beyond the thick blue curtain to his right. In front of him was a
washbasin, at the stone wall in fact. To his left was a large wooden
door, and beside that hung a piece of paper.

Remembering the incident now, he scowled, and wondered why they had
been nice enough to tend to his wounds. It was miraculous really; he
barely felt the pain anymore. The numbness was there though. No doubt
the Doctor had given him an extra dose of herbs to knock him cold.
Looking down, he noticed that they had put him back into his normal
clothing as well. It was cleaner, as though washed, and he could not
smell even a wiff of blood. Noticing that the dagger, however, was
gone from his belt, he got off of the bed and walked towards the door.
He hoped his brother had taken back the dagger and that he had not
lost it to that damned mongrel. His eyes slitted as he thought of it,
making his face look angry. Yet within, there was a fear now. A
hollowness that ached over the attack. He knew he'd think twice before
trusting a dog again. But would that be enough to keep him from trying
to sneak to the camp once more?

Looking at the paper beside the door, he squinted to try and read it.
Such fine, delicately curving writing. It annoyed him to no end, all
the curves, the small lettering, one letter floating into the next.
Morphing rather then a clean break. 'Who came up with this ridiculous
system to begin with? Imagine, letters connecting to each other, so
you can't even see where one ends and the other begins! Senseless,
that's what I call it' He thought.

He thought he saw his name on the list, but he wasn't altogether sure.
The first letter looked like it could very well be a T. Or was it an
I? A P? But there appeared to be the appropriate number of e's within,
as well as the n and a p. Taepen. Taepen...what though? But the last
name didn't matter to him. There was only one other Taepen that he
knew of in the Kingdom anyway, and that was his father. If he had been
in the infirmary too...well, he'd know about it soon.

Before he could go to open the door, it was suddenly thrust open, and
a tall, plump woman in white and blue sauntered in, a tray in hand.
She didn't give Taepen a second look as she walked beyond the blue
curtains, talking softly to whoever was there. A small voice answered
her, in the affirmative and the negative when it seemed to suit, and
Taepen recognized the woman as the doctor. No doubt she'd come back
for him soon. Breaking into a cold sweat at the thought of more of
those herbs, he looked at the wide open door, and walked through it as
though he had perfect right. When unconscious, the doctor could use a
needle to get her drugs into your veins; but when awake, she quite
joyfully gave it in the form of a hot, sour drink with an aftertaste
to drive away Kefka himself if she had half a chance to try. Soon he
was practically jogging down the basement halls of what he realized
was actually the castle.

'They didn't take me to the civilian hospital?' He asked himself, now
slowing down. There weren't many people around, as he realized that it
must be rather early in the day. The few guards he saw in the halls,
in green and blue gear and holding their swords at their hips, were
yawning, and seemed as though they were still waiting for the morning
tea to kick in. He nodded respectfully to them as he passed, but
didn't take the time chat to any extent. He needed to get home to his
family now; no doubt they were worried sick about him. He flinched
visibly as he thought of the reaming his mother would no doubt give
him. And Candra...he hadn't even thought of her reaction. No doubt she
was also camped out at his house, waiting like his mother for him to
get home so she could hug him in one moment, and slap him for the
next. He felt his cheeks redden slightly at the thought. It would be
good to see her though, perhaps after she was done being mad at him.
As he walked out of the open archway into the early morning air - he
nodded, as he had guessed right at what time it was - he wondered how
long she would be mad at him.

He was walking on a sandy pathway now, though there was still stone
underneath. It was only sandy here on the ground level, before the
entrance, to help keep the rain from getting into the hall leading to
the military's infirmary so quickly. Why they didn't put a door up was
beyond him, but he had been told a few times that in this case, a door
would get in the way more then help them, especially if many people
had to be taken in and out at a time.

Down the lane, past a few small houses, he now was at the back of the
kingdom, behind the main castle. Into the town. It was still protected
though, and lucky for the inhabitants; if it wasn't for the large,
protective stone walls surrounding the entire kingdom, they would have
no doubt been attacked from behind long ago. His job, at the moment,
was in fact to guard one section of the wall. Perhaps not the most
exciting job, it was still honourable, and he tried to take it as
seriously as he could. Yet it grew boring sometimes. Standing there,
all by yourself, with nothing to do but sit and wait for hours while
nothing happened. In the daytime it would be fine, but he was on night
watch usually. Night watch, where he could stare up at the night sky
for hours on end, or whistle, or sing. At least, attempt to sing. He
had only tried that one night, and that was only because he thought it
might help pass the time. It didn't.

Few people greeted him on his way to the house, though really at this
time of the morning, greeting mostly consisted of nodding tiredly at
anything that moved. People were so cautious of being polite that they
were scared to forget to nod, and so some even nodded to cats, passing
horses, and once to a piece of paper flying in the wind. It would be
another half hour or so before most bothered to look up and check what
the corner of their eye had seen first.

Finally, he was back at the house. Small, yet comfortable, it stood in
between a larger stone house, and a wooden house of the same height.
His parents house was made of stone, and had a pretty stained glass
window near the top. It had been made by his mother, with help from
his father, a minister. It was a dove, with what to Taepen had always
looked like a piece of grass in it's beak. It stood at the top of the
house, centered with the door, and was the pride and joy of his
mother. Many complimented them on the effort, though some seemed to
think it wasted.

The door to his house was open, as was custom at this time of the day,
and he walked in cautiously. No one was right in the doorway, as he
had expected. No doubt his mother was at market, his father perhaps in
his study working on his sermon. Had Candra gone to market? Or was she
home? He found himself disappointed that she wasn't at the doorway,
waiting for him as though he were a hero coming back from a battle.
But he knew he was no hero. Despite however heroic his attempts had
been.

The sounds of light sobbing could be heard from the kitchen. Or was it
coughing? He couldn't tell, but walked slowly in that direction. He
walked down the hallway, underneath the small arch that separated it
from the hallway, and into the kitchen. There, at the table, sat the
two women he had been expecting. Quietly, head down, he walked into
the room. Sensing his presence, but not looking at him, the two women
stayed at the table, looking down.

"Oh, Taepen...why did you do it?" Candra asked suddenly. Her eyes
remained fixed to the table, and he stopped in his tracks. Fumbling
for the right words, he made a stuttering sound before starting.

"I...I'm sorry Candra, it was...it was a stupid thing to do." He said,
looking at her. She looked so pretty there, sitting in her cream
colored dress, her long auburn hair pulled back into a tail at the
nape of her neck. Her hands held onto each other on the table,
gripping tightly as though she were restraining herself.

"It was a stupid thing to do." She said. He nodded at the repeated
words, but she didn't look up at him still. The waiting was starting
to get at him; was he to be tortured first? Drawn out until he was a
pile of sweat and nerves? He took a step closer.

"I'm sure he had his reasons Candra. I'm...sure of it. He was always a
smart boy." Said his mother, speaking in a low voice. She too looked
at the table.

"Mother...now there's no need to talk about me as though I'm not in
the room." He said, the voice sounding as though it belonged to
himself perhaps ten years ago. She looked up sharply then, at him.
Through him. Her eyes were so full of pain, of hurt that he knew he
had caused. Guilt crushed him. He backed away by a step, then took it
back, stepping two steps closer to them now.

Candra looked up as well, but not at him. Her ears seemed to almost
prick up at something just beyond their range. Getting up, she walked
right past him, to the door that he had left open. She looked out it
for a moment, on the tips of her toes as though she thought that would
help. Soon, she came back in hurriedly, and he heard it as well. The
bell. The bell that only rang when there was an attack on the town.

"Mother, Candra, we'll talk about this later. I want both of you to go
into the shelter now! Please?" He had meant for it to be commanding,
but he was unsure of himself, and his position with these two
important women in his life at the moment. He almost sighed with
relief when his mother nodded.

"Come with me Candra. No doubt your mother's on her way to the shelter
right now, we'll join her." Taepen didn't wait another moment before
going upstairs to get his sword. He only hoped he was well enough now
to at least defend from inside the town.

Chapter Three

It was as he walked to his room that it suddenly hit him. His sword
was not there, it wasn't even in his house at the moment. That was the
reason he had taken the his brothers dagger in the first place. His
own weapon was at the smithy, being repaired and sharpened for just
such a situation as he was in now. If only he had thought to be so
prepared a few weeks ago, or even a few days. Frowning, he tried to
think of another possible weapon that could be used in the house. He
patted his own clothing up and down, as though seeing if he did in
fact have another knife on him. After that proved to be unsuccessful,
he wandered to his brothers room, empty of said brother at the moment.
His heart did a full loop in his chest when he saw what was on the
desk.

A dagger. No, not a dagger. The dagger. The Dagger. With an almost
gleeful leap, he was suddenly at the table, and picking it up. 'He
must have gotten it earlier, when I was in the infirmary,' he thought
to himself, checking the edge for sharpness. It didn't seem as though
it had been sharpened since he had used it himself, but it would do.
It would have to do.

Running down the stairs again, he found his mother and Candra already
gone. Following late in their footsteps, he sprang out of the house,
joining the riot of people that now filled the streets. Sounds of
shouts, cries for citizens to arm themselves, get the women and
children into the shelters, and protect the gates at all cost were
being made from everywhere at once. It was dizzying, the rush of noise
and people. He quickly conformed though, falling in to the edge of the
crowd, running alongside an older man that he half recognized. Both
were soon running fast and panting too hard for talk, but occasionally
screams would arise from even then in the crowds. To hurry, to save
the town, to beat those bloody Imperials so badly that they would not
come back again ever. Bold and brave were the battle cries, and the
rush filled his head now. A dizzying, drunken rush, the feeling of
heroes. At least, the feeling it was assumed heroes acquired. Taepen
wondered if perhaps it was less then what he had expected, but
nonetheless ran proudly forth, his dagger ready.

They were nearing the gates now; nearing bloodshed. A few Imperials
were standing high on top of the gate, one of them appearing to throw
something that looked like shrapnel at the crowd people. People dashed
away from it, crying out for people to get out of the way, or
screaming at being hit. Some of the younger, stronger men were picking
up large rocks and throwing them at the Imperials, in hopes of
knocking them off of the wall. A few fell. Others were simply climbing
up over the wall somehow, and coming down the other side ready to
fight.

That was not the first sight that met Taepens eyes though. First, it
was a dash of what looked to be brown and cream. Or was it auburn?
...hair? He squinted, maneuvering closer, being pushed one way and the
other by the others around him. He managed to get closer now, and saw
long hair dancing around a dress. Cream colored dress, one that
swirled around a pair of mens pants. His eyes were wide as saucers as
soon as he realized who this person was.

"Candra, no! Get out of here!" He yelled trying his best to get
closer. But she was so far away. Just barely out of his reach...

"And this is for Taepen! Damn you, filthy Imperials, you'll pay for
this if it means my life!" She cried out bravely, bitterly, her voice
raspy and full of held back tears. Candra was always a brave girl...so
brave, so headstrong, wanting to be like the boys. Like the men. He
had always understood that in her, and never tried to deny her spunk.
But not like this. He could not let her risk her life, all for...what?
For what? What exactly could she do, knock one, maybe two, out before
she died herself?

"Candra!" He called again, but to no avail. There was way too much
shouting going on, way too much screaming and crying, and agony. He
couldn't take it anymore, something was about to give in. Desperately,
he wanted nothing more then to gather up Candra in his arms, and hold
her. Carry his precious Candra away from all of this, and take her
back to the shelter. Take her back and assign both of their mothers
and half the shelter to guarding her, if the need be. But he wanted
her safe, away from the mess. Again, he attempted to move closer.

Just as he made the final dive at her though, time slowed down. A
piece of shrapnel from directly above her rained down, accompanied by
others. They hit her shoulder, the side of her face, her chest. They
knocked her down with force and pain, raining on her cruelly and
contemptuously. Taepen cried out just as he got to her; she fell
through his arms, and lay there for a moment, red faced and bleeding.
The blood, the blood...he tried to wipe it away, take away the cruel
pieces sticking into her. One at her neck and a few at her heart
seemed fatal, if they had not already succeeded.

He closed his eyes for a moment, only a moment, to hold back a sob.
When they were open once more though, she was sitting up, and he was
so surprised that it took him a moment to think to gather her up in
his arms. To hold her tightly, sobbing on her shoulder. But she
remained rigid. Was she still mad? Even now?

"Taepen?" She asked, pushing back away to look at him, "Taepen, is
it...really you?" She asked, looking at him in amazement. Yet when she
looked at him...he did not see blood on her. He saw pain, and fear,
and agony, but no blood. Not a drop.

"It's me Candra, it is, I swear." He said, kissing her cheek, then
nose, then looking at her again. "But what happened? You were hit, and
now..." He then realized that the rest of the world had gone quiet.
Not a sound interrupted them now, and he did nothing but stare at her,
and hold her.

"And now..I'm dead." She finished flatly. Yet it was the only
explanation. How else could it be...he shook his head, still
disbelieving.

"No, no you can't be..." A curious smile came upon her face though,
eerie in a sense, yet beautiful. He was drowning in her glow now, in
her eyes. In her

"But I am. And so must..." The curious smile left her face in the
blink of an eye. Literally. Before his eyes, and her amazed eyes as
well, she began to fade. It was more of a dulling then a fading
though. Dulling of colors, dulling of life. Dulling of the essence of
her.

"Taepen! I'm...what's happening?" She was truly confused now, looking
frantically around as she slowly lost substance.

"Candra!" He shouted, trying to grasp at her, trying to keep her with
him, keep her from fading.

"Taepen...!" It was meant to be a shout, he was sure. But it was low,
fading away into nothing. The final sound of the n collapsed as it
left her mouth. It broke away fast, like her now, and Taepen found
himself falling forward, looking straight at her corpse.




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