This is one of the oldest remaining in my folder:

Spiderwoman's voice was no longer tired as it drifted forth from the

speaker,

but alert and there was velvet wrapped steel in the enunciated words.

Reads awkward. Not a good way to start the chapter. Should have something to
grab the reader's attention better, though not so much as if it was the
first chapter.

"It's not something she likes to talk about, but Ami's mother Keiko was

mother, Keiko, was

 not

only a dedicated neurosurgeon, but a brilliant inventor.

She invented the coat hanger.

 Keiko's parents

supported her this,

her *in* this (perhaps?)

 even going so far as to erect a small shed in their

backyard where Keiko could work without disturbing them. It was while she

was

in college that Keiko began experimenting with robots, her goal being to

find

some way to make notetaking easier without relying on tape recorders.

Oh yes, Robots would be sooo much cheaper than a tape recorder.

Using the notes she left behind and materials more advanced then what was
available to her, I have refined Keiko's process, including a more

advanced

power source and a smaller container. As nanoifiber can do the work of all
but the most specialized electronics, I have been able to build in several
additions, including a phone, compass, and clock, the last two displayed

on

the lenses of my mask. Sadly, I could not make the phone component

cellular,

which means that I must connect to a land line. I have aqauired

acquired

"I have spent a great deal of time considering how to fulfill my purpose.

Going undercover as a prostitute, while being great for fan service,
ultimately is not practical.

Some will claim that criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot.

But that only applies to the dumb ones that get caught.

 I

disagree with this in principal, but it is best if they fear me from the
start. Therefore, I have used Keiko's process to fashion a costume for
myself, one that can be donned with the press of a button. It is a full

body

costume, leaving no skin exposed. Being difficult to damage, the

nano-fiber

also serves me as body armor. I have attempted to test its vulnerability,

but

my means for doing so are limited. Bunsen burner tests show that it does

not

ignite until two thousand Kelvin.

However, since it does nothing to prevent combustion of the material within,
I would melt long before that.

Sufficent for my purpose. My tests also

suggest that it will withstand small and medium weapons fire from ten feet

or

more.

I had Makoto strike me with a baseball bat. I believe that is the equivalent
for such.

 While useful, I have no intention of staying still long enough for

someone to shoot at me.

Keiko also formulated an adhesive with a tensile strength of nearly five
tons. Again, I have improved and refined her formula. My calculations show
that it will support close to ten tons. However, I have not been able to
remove its tendency to break down and dissolve after ninety-nine minutes
exposure to air.

Thought spidey's held for about an hour. Reason for the extension?

In any case, I have placed the formula into small containers under high
pressure. The nanofibers which cover my hands will also contain a simple
pressure valve triggered by an electrode in the palm. I simply need to

snap

the container to the valve and it's ready. As there is a high probability
that I will need to replace the cartridges more then

than

 once, I have fashioned a

comparmentized belt to carry additional, as well as spent cartridges.

spent, cartridges

 The

belt will also hold a few other things which I intend to aquire

acquire

 tonight and

is easily hidden under Ami's clothes or in her school bag. As are

bag, as

****
Usagi and Naru were standing side by side

side-by-side

at the Academy's front gate swaying

from side to side

side-to-side

Overuse of those sorts of stock phrases. I'd ditch one.

"I'm sorry for being so withdrawn, guys," Ami said. "I've been doing a lot

of

thinking since Gendo died. I've been going through life holding myself

back,

not really taking chances. I've been thinking that maybe that was wrong,

that

rather then holding myself back, I should be embracing life."

Ami: Want some hot lesbian sex?

She faced Usagi

and bowed deep. "I beg of you, oh learned one in the art of constructive
insanity, teach me."

Usagi: Never! For that means I would have to become the serious one.

"What do you think?" Usagi asked Naru, "should we?"

Naru. "Should

****
Word on the street was that if you needed something, you went to see

Hikaru

Kojiro. Kojiro ran a small all night pawn shop in Shinjuku. If he didn't

have

it or couldn't lay his hands on it within a week, it didn't exist. He was

a

short, balding man, with a large stomach, weak chin and watery eyes.

And secretly known as the weaponsmith of the underworld by the code name:
The Terrible Tinkerer.

Hey, someone supplies those villianous yokels who have high tech gadgets but
aren't geniuses somehow. :)

Tonight, he was counting the previous night's profits and congratulating
himself when an arm clad in blue dropped into his field of vision, grabbed
his shirt collar and yanked him up from his seat. Too surprised to yell,

he

found himself face to face

face-to-face

"Kojiro. It is said that it is a bad idea to upset the customer. If you
present me with inferior merchandise or attempt something equally foolish,
the customer will be upset."

Bah. If he's the man everyone goes to, then he sells quality.

"A talking cat?" Naru smirked. "Usagi old girl, I know we've collaborated

on

some whoppers, but pulling that off is beyond even our genius."

"No, she really talks. No joke. Come on Luna, say something."

The black cat looked up at Usagi with an innocent expression. "Meow."

Usagi

stared at the cat for a moment and then whipped a pillow off her bed and

hit

Luna with it. "What was that for?!" Luna yelled and then cringed.

Molly

Eh? Don't you mean Naru

"I've told you, Usagi," Luna said reprovingly. "You are not Sailor Moon
to..." she shuddered. "Kick ass. You're supposed to find the Moon

Princess.

She's the only one who can unlock the full power of Ginzihozu, the Moon
Crystal."

"So what else is new?" Molly

Naru

 said, waving a hand dismissivly. "Tell me the

good stuff. Who's the awesomely bishie hunk that your

you're

"Oh come on, would it really be that bad to wake up next to him every
morning? Besides, your

you're

"The rest of the outfit just seemed to go with it," Usagi said and lifted

up

one of her boots. "Check these out. Steel in the toes, heels, and soles. I
can kick my way through a wall with these. Website I got 'em at called 'em
'gonads go bye-bye.'"

"Which one?"

"No means no dot com."

Heh

"Call me while you're out man-hunting?"

"For sure. Later."

"Later." Naru let herself out. Sailor Moon went out the window.

Luna continued swearing.

I would too.

****
Sailor Moon crouched to as she landed on the adjoining rooftop. Above her,
the office building belched smoke and fire and she wiped some soot off her
cheek. Cubicle mazes were fun, but not when idiots were--something slammed
into from

into her

Now in Tuxedo Mask's defense, it should be pointed out that he is a

creature

of instinct.

Nah. Don't like the narrative voice here. I'd make it more neutral. Like the
Swiss.

"Three on three, actually," said a new voice. Off to one side was a tall
figure dressed in a purple costume. His skin was green, and he had yellow
eyes and a big smile. A brown satchel was slung over one shoulder. He

stood

on a bird shaped platform which hovered just inches above the rooftop. "I
have no name, I'm afraid, it seemed rather unessacary and I'm sure the

press

will give me something catchy." He reached into his satchel and took out

what

looked like a pumpkin. "In any case. Sailor Moon, you and I have bisnuess

mispelled business.

Nice work. Felt briefer than the others, but worked as a set up for Ami's
superhero phase.

DB Sommer



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