Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sat, 15 Mar 2003 23:48:08 -0500 DB Sommer <sommer@3rdm.net> wrote:
The race site looked like {identical to :} any other, save that it was taking
place in some sort of park that hadn't been there the day before. But racing
courses that sprang up overnight was hardly cause for concern, in Ranma's
opinion. He had seen weirder things, and it showed the people throwing the
race did indeed have access to magic. No misleading prizes, like the 'award'
for the take out race being a meeting with 'Mr. China'. That had been a real
fiasco. Not this time. Even Pantyhose knew these guys had the item they
claimed, since he was taking the competition so seriously. Soon, Ranma would
have the next best thing to a cure in hand, once the officials showed up.
I thought seeing China was the prize for the acting contest where Akane
played Juliette.
"I don't have any..." Ranma trailed off as he felt that not only had his
pig-{tails : tail} been undone, but that all of the hair at the back of his head had
indeed been retied into cornrows.
"I needed to prove a point. It's not like I walk around with bras," Jiminy
said, laughing so hard he doubled over. When he looked back up, he saw that
Akane was now in front of him, fist {raised back : raised : pulled back}.
"You pervert!" she exclaimed, punching him hard and sending him into a wall,
which collapsed around him from the impact and fell on top of him. When the
dust settled, all that was left was two yellow booted feet sticking up from
the rubble.
No ruby slippers?
"At any rate," Asmodeous continued, "You have gathered together today in
contest for the ultimate prize." He held his hands apart. Between them, a
swirling orb of pink energy shot through with motes of white light formed.
Within seconds it took on a shape, eventually solidifying until it formed a
golden scepter. It was nearly two feet tall, and ringed with a horde of
jewels {encrusted throughout : encrusting} its entire length.
While Tarou was in mid-bellow, something {impacted against : hit} his face,
exploding and dousing him in warm water that reverted him to his human form.
"Getting a few splinters is somewhat less risky than being doomed for
answering a few questions wrong." Akane made to walk that way again.
Okay, that was a perfectly rational answer. Who is she and where's
the real Akane?
Tarou's eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head. "This is the lamest
obstacle I have ever seen." Humoring the two girls, he leaped between the
ropes.
I'm a bit surprised he didn't bitch-slap them first. Even if they
aren't mimes.
The warrior said, "That counted as your first attack. Not the second. Not
the third. But the first. A single number, like one, which is indeed the
loneliest number that you shall ever-"
Oh! The Horror! It's fortunate Ranma interrupted him.
Kachiko hummed pleasantly to herself, enjoying her superiority. She was
barely out of sight of the board when the world went spinning as a sudden
pain shot through the very center of her being. It was unlike anything she
had felt, ever, a piercing thing that seemed to erupt from every portion of
her body. She cried out and doubled over in agony, curling into a fetal ball
and praying that the pain would go away. For a moment, the pain lessened,
but the decreasing pain was accompanied by a feeling of weightlessness, and
a lack of sensation from her surroundings.
Kachi definitely needs to find out what's causing those episodes.
Having one at a busy moment could be very bad.
Unable to resist the lure, Tarou leaped toward Ranma's pole. Rather than
remaining there for the attack, Ranma waited until Tarou was three quarters
of the way across and kicked off from the pole he was on. The unexpected
attack caught Tarou off-guard, and he was unable to react in time. A kick
landed solidly in {the : his} gut. The force of the blow sent him flying on a
different course towards the ground. Luckily his flight path took him within
arm's reach of a different pole. He kept himself from falling by clutching
the bamboo as though his life depended on it.
"Hurry!" Kachiko repeated, her voice all but acknowledging she was losing
the battle.
It does seem a bit uncharacteristic for Kachi to just try to stop
Tarou. If she was able to sneak up behind him she should have been
able to make a run for the finish line while he was distracted.
Tarou used the opening to turn tail and run straight for the finish line.
Kachiko tried to catch up, but stopped halfway when she realized that
between his longer stride and her effort to cover herself there was no way
she could prevent Tarou from winning. Instead, she turned, tying the
remnants of her shirt into a makeshift top that barely hid her breasts and
stalked in the opposite direction.
There is still the Rice O'Roni.
"So what?!" Kachiko screeched. "It's just a cat! Just some strange !#$% cat
no different from the thousands they put to sleep every year! You can't even
keep it because Ranma's terrified of them! Do you think you're great and
wonderful because you saved it?! There are millions of cats out there, but
only one ring. Which do you think is more important?""
Excellent point. It would also take more than a couple minutes for
the cat to die. Akane could have crossed the finish line and gone
back for it.
"Thorry, your motht Unworthy, but there are no more thin minths. How about a
thortbread cookie?"
"No, I don't like shortbread. Give me a Samoa."
Do Girl Scouts sell the same types of cookies outside the US?
"Oh, right." Asmodeous dispelled the ball and rummaged through his pockets
until he came up with the ring. "Here you go." He offered the item to
{Tarou.. : Tarou.}
Rather than speaking any further, Tarou rushed forward. Kachiko tried to
strike him, but he deflected both her attacks. He then grabbed her by the
face, brought it forward, and kissed her full on the lips.
Breaking off the kiss, Tarou said, "God, you seriously turn me on."
Somehow I'm reminded of when Kachi met Kuno.
That snapped Kachiko out of her stupor. "Don't be ridiculous! I could never
stomach someone like you! You're a maniacal, egotistical, ruthless asshole
who's so convinced he's the greatest thing around nothing could possibly
break through your delusions of adequacy!"
"I know you're hot for me too, babe."
A lot.
Tarou said blissfully, "From other women, my name sounds like fingernails
across a chalkboard. From you, it sounds like the sweet call of birds
chirping in the spring air." He sighed.
He's definitely in lust.
Unable to think of anything that would drive him off, or make him want to
kill her, Kachiko fell to her knees and began to cry. It was beginning to
look like throwing herself in front of a truck would be a good thing. At the
very least it would be less painful than having to deal with a total creep
like Pantyhose Tarou as a suitor.
"Why does everything have to happen to me?" she wailed.
Let me count the ways. In her prime, she seems to have been even more
of a chaos magnet than Ranma.
Yes, Kachiko coming down on Akane was exceptionally harsh, wasn't it? You'll
glean a little bit of the reasons for her almost irrational ire in the
interlude that's coming up next. Work on it has already started.
Perhaps exceptionally harsh, but I could see why even without any
extra baggage. Isn't the definition of a moral victory getting the
snot kicked out of you?