At 11:46 PM -0800 3/1/03, "Christopher J. "McFarland wrote:
On Fri, 2003-02-28 at 13:25, Angus MacSpon wrote:
<snip>
>>
>> "You win?" Shampoo asked as she entered the door. Her
> > cousin was still sick, too sick to go outside, but that didn't
>> dampen her enthusiasm. Shampoo had been the odds on
> > favorite; if Mifa won, Shampoo would still be considered the
>> best of the young fighters, considering the general opinion
>> towards Mifa.
>>
>> "I won," Mifa said, smiling. "But an outsider girl ate my prize. I
>> let her kick me off the challenge log to settle the score."
>>
>> Shampoo's eyes widened and she cooed. "My cousin is a
>> sneaky one! You did that just so you could give her the kiss of
>> death?"
>>
>> Mifa smiled as she walked past Shampoo. "Yes, something like
>> that."
>>
>> ** * * * * * * * * * * * * **
>
>This scene is /entirely/ unnecessary. Why is it even included? Were
>this a movie and I a producer, this would be the first thing on the
>cutting room floor.
Definitely disagree here. If for no other reason than that Mifa is one
of the two central characters of this story, and her sending-off is
important enough to be included. But I think that the scene stands on its
own well enough in any case. It doesn't contribute a lot, story-wise.
But it is important, character-wise.
Er...why? Here's how I look at this scene: Mifa is a rebel, she's
related to Shampoo, she's (for whatever reason) decided to follow up on
the Kiss of Death ritual, which came about as a result of the village
contest. All this has been shown in other scenes before hand, and
further, this scene only slows down the advancement of the plot.
Nh. Let me think this through more carefully.
There is, I think, a difference between character-central and plot-central
storytelling. In plot-central storytelling -- and bear in mind that these
are generalities; there is always going to be a mixture of both in any
story -- the main imperative is to drive the story along. If every point
in a scene can be implied by points in other scenes, there's likely no need
to include the (first) scene at all. If that makes sense!
In character-driven storytelling, you can often pause the plot completely
to explore characters and their relationships. (Remember, again, that
these are generalities. As often as not, it's better to imply character
points rather than spell them out. Show, not tell, in other words. But
there are sometimes good reasons to tell, not show.)
So, to the point: The scene in question is a character one. It doesn't
add a lot to the plot -- though it does imply some important things! --
but it does show us how Cologne, Mifa and Shampoo interact; and that's
not an unimportant thing, since the whole obeying-amazon-law thing is
obviously going to be important to this story. It shows us for the first
time that Shampoo and Mifa are friends. And it implies some interesting
things about Mifa's "rebel"-hood; her reply to Cologne that she "knows
what is required of her" suggests that she's not a rebel at all, so much
as someone who's going to get her own way while following the exact
letter of the law ... possibly interpreting said law in novel ways, of
course. :)
None of this is unimportant. All of it could have been accomplished in
other ways; and in fact some of the points _are_ implied in other scenes
as well. But they're all here, tied up in a fairly neat bundle that also
gives one of the main characters of this story a send-off from her home
village.
In the end, of course, it's the author's decision as to what he thinks
works or not. But I'd call this scene a keeper.
Cheers,
Angus