ichael A Chase wrote:
Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Tue, 11 Feb 2003 14:09:47 -0800 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
wrote:
"You're one to talk," Motoko grumbled, as Ranma trembled, wide-eyed, in
fear of the mewling kitten.
Unusually rapid turnabout.
[FORESHADOWING]
Could be!
"Oooh, Ranmas like Motokos," Suu observed. "Now I can create a breeding
program!"
That would be delicious.
... well. Some people have suggested that, yes.
"Um... no, that would be a bad idea," Ranma insisted, shaking her head.
"A really bad one. Anyway, on with today's lesson."
I'm sure that *really* caught Suu's attention.
How could it not?
What of the bumps on her head that also speak of near permanance from
her continual fainting? :}b
Bah! Mutsumi has no flaws!
"Oh, of course not, that would be silly!" the young woman giggled.
"Just like a curse would be?" Ranma asked.
"Exactly."
That actually makes sense. Sort of.
It seemed to work, surprisingly.
She followed dutifully for the entire sixty-yard {treck : trek} to the base of
the stairs leading up to the inn. Keitaro and Naru -- along with the
other assembled tenants -- met them there, the entire gang skidding to
an awkward halt to stare in confusion.
Ah, that's just embarassing. >_<
Why didn't Ranma change into a girl again before returning to Hinata-Sou?
Construction crew has that day off. I think. Lemme check my notes.
Yeah. Looks like they had that day off.
"Turn the page," Ranma suggested.
Naturally Ranma would be especially aware of the need to read the
entire book.
I blew this, and had to have someone else mention it to me....
But it seems to have worked!
"Trick I picked up from my wife," he groaned. "Just after she taught me
how to track." He brushed a hand through his hair, tugging at his
{bandana : bandanna}, then opened one eye, and glanced across the table. "Wait. Did I
say that aloud? Damn, my head hurts."
Hmm. Appears both are valid....
But it appears that your suggestion is the originally accepted version.
"His synch rating is over four hundred percent!" Suu exclaimed, waving
a small hand-held computer in one hand, a white lab coat fitting loosely
about her shoulders as she dashed into the room. "He's gone berserk!"
Five yard penalty for gatuitous NGE reference.
Gah! Not a safety! >_<
Ranma's eyes widened slightly, and she backed away quickly. "Won't
happen again," she said swiftly, shaking her head.
"These aren't the droids we are looking for."
Heh! Of course. ^_^;
Thanks for the C&C -- anything I didn't mention was used. :p