<SNIP>

 "Actually, he's our problem as well." Everyone turned
in shock at the sudden intrusion, to see a tiny form, shrouded
in some dark, heavy material.

   Everyone:  "COLOGNE!"
   Cologne:  "What is this, Cheers?"

@@ AHHHH! Yuppies! Quick, get the repellant!
@@@@

       I'm pretty sure there weren't any Yuppies at Cheers.  Barflies and 
blowhards and bumblers aplenty, but no Yuppies.  

 "Another of your friends?" Nabiki asked Ranma
tiredly, not able to cope with any more strangeness. Ukyou
stepped beside her and covered Nabiki's hand with one of his,
giving a silent squeeze of comfort.

   Nabiki:  My wierd-shit-o-meter has topped out for the day.  At this 
point, nothing phases me anymore.

@@LOL

   I must say, the Nabiki/Ukyou dynamic is proceeding nicely.  

@@Thank you. I was trying to keep several major characterizations/sub-plots
going simultaneously in this story. So far it seems to have worked. (Though
some readers have suggested that I spend rather too much time with
Ukyou/Nabiki and not enough with Ranma/Akane. 
@@@@

       Mmm... I disagree.  I'm finding the K/K and U/N relationships almost 
more interesting thatn A/R, and I'd actually like to see *more* of Ryouga.  
But then, I tend to see R.5 as more of an ensemble work.  

@@NABIKI: "What does he do?"
AKANE: "It's wonderful. He always puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. 
He doesn't drop wet towels on the floor. AND - -
ALL: "AND???"
AKANE: "He NEVER leaves the toilet seat up!"
KE LUN: "I MUST have this male for the Amazons!"
@@@@

       There's a story in that somewhere...

   After all, answering that question honestly would reveal he has the 
rudiments of a consience, and only rubes and suckers have those.
   Speaking of which... just where *did* that money in Ukyou's shoe, way 
back when, come from?  I've got a prime suspect right here...

@@Oh good. I was afraid I was too subtle with that one. OTOH, It had to be 
a little subtle to work. Yes, it was Ranma.'
@@@@

       Well, the moment Ukyou said it "must have been" his mother, I got 
suspicious.   I was wondering if there would be a payoff later, but then 
decided you were being sutble with us.  Now I just wonder if Ukyou's ever 
going to find out.  (Yeah, yeah, I know, read the next chapter.)

 "A few scars on her back from running the gauntlet,
which will heal. Some scars on her heart," Ranma flinched

>from the look on Akane's face as the Amazon spoke, "which

may keep her from such foolishness in the future. But, what
of your father?"

   This is an awfully complacent attitude for Cologne to take.  OTOH, 
after seeing how she handled the Russian Invasion (Immigration?) last 
chapter, it makes sense.

@@In the manga/anime the Amazon's were a lot rougher. Shampoo got turned
into a cat in canon. I'm basing this on several cultures. By running the 
gauntlet Shan P'u expiates her own guilt, the villagers purge their own 
anger. AND, it WAS Shan P'u's fault to an extent. She let her baser urges 
distract her from her duty.
@@@@

       Canon Cologne is a bit of a cipher.  It's never clear if she's 
*really* after Ranma (like she is in "Hearts of Ice," or merely hanging out 
in Nerima because she's enjoying the show, like in "Girl Days."  I find your 
pragmatic Cologne to be a reasonable variation.  

<SNIP>

 "There is still the matter of Genma." the Amazon
continued.

   Fatman, OTOH, is *toast.*

@@Chapter 29 posting in a few minutes. After 29 &30 I'll let you
tell me what you think about Genma's final fate. 
@@@@

       You tease.  Wait, did I already say that?

@@ Yep. Although it's been pointed out to me that I didn't build up to this 
partvery well. 
Yes, Nodoka is hearing it as well. But Nodoka is a simple soul. Anger isn't 
in her vocabulary.

       No sword, huh?

 A sense of dread closed around him as this gentle
featured woman took another step into the room. Soft
feathery curls framed her pleasantly plain features and her
eyes reflected a friendly trusting nature.

   No mention of how (or if) she resembles his girl form?

@@For those who've missed this in my other Ranma stories, IMO, to 'get
around' the problem of 'conservation of mass/energy' the only way to get a 
large boy -> small girl or even smaller piglet/duck (or girl ->cat or boy ->
 GIANT Minotaur) is to _swap_ bodies. The 'cursed' form exists in a 
different space or dimension. When splashed with cold water the original 
form 'rotates' out of existence and the 'cursed form' rotates into this 
reality. It's like changing into a new suite of clothes or changing the car 
you drive. The mind/soul or driver is the
same, just a new vehicle. Much tidier than actually morphing Ryouga into a 
pig with such a large difference in mass. SO . . .IMO it's a different 
body, no resemblance (except accidental) to his original male body. After 
all, no one ever asks if neko-Shan P'u resembles girl-Shan P'u or P-chan 
looks like Ryouga. 

There are problems no matter what you choose, but I think my assumption has
_fewer_ problems than most.
@@@@

       I can live with that.  Heck, there's enough wiggle-room concerning the 
"real" power of Jusenkyo for a legion of authors to write variants in.

   Ouch.  Are you sure you want Nodoka to echo Gollum, here?

@@I never even thought of LotR when I was doing this. ^_*
Thanks for the reminder. Nodoka as Gollum and Ranma as the One Ring?
Now there's a pretty picture.
@@@@

       Dark Lord Genma?  Tofu the Grey?  Kasumi'd make a good elf, but Nabiki 
would probably kill us for making her a dwarf.  Kuno as Boromir?  Hai and Dai 
and Pippin and Merry?  Happosai as Saruman?  
       "Seven Ranmas for the Amazons, in their mountains high,
       Three for the Kuonji Clan, beneath the Kansai sky.
       Nine for the Phoenix People, and the Musk who fly.
       And one... One Ranma to rule them all, one Ranma to fight them,
       One Ranma to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them
        In the dark Ward of Nerima, where the shadows lie."
       
       Or something like that.

 "Yeah?" Seeing Nabiki's grimace Ukyou began
working on a knotted muscle in Nabiki's back and was
rewarded with a sigh of pleasure.

   She's got him well-trained, doesn't she?
   Nabiki:  "Hey, for devotion like this, going lesbo is no big deal."
   Ukyou:  "What do you mean?  I'm a guy, dammit!"
   Nabiki:  .......

@@Hmmm . . .OK, now I know what to title chapter two of "I'm a guy" ^_*

Also, I keep the entire Ukyou/Nabiki relationship rather ambiguous. ANY
thoughts about their 'relationship' are entirely in the readers 
imagination. ^_+
@@@@

       Yeah.  Right.  Whatever you say.  Ukyou's obviously smitten, and 
Nabiki's running out of reasons to push him away.  

   It probably wouldn't fit here, but at some point I hope you address 
what Ukyou saw during this argument -- did he begin to see that Ranma was 

a 

victim as well, or is he still blinded by his own obsession?

@@Again, I'll let you tell me after 29 &30
@@@@

       Tease.

   Fought who?  The Yamabushi?  But he's *here*... 
   Oh, crap.  It actually took me a second to make the connection.  

@@Oh good. That one worked too. I wanted the reader to have a brief mental
bobble at this point.
@@@@

       Whiplash.  You'll be getting my chiropractor bill.

 "I called the hospital again," Akane said quietly, "The
ambulance will be here in a few minutes."

   So who was Kodachi talking to?  
   Interesting comment on their lives lately, that she says "again."

@@Kodachi was calling an ambulance for Sasuki. Akane called back to tell 
them they had another injured. They really need two teams, one for Sasuki, 
one for Ryouga.  But at least the ambulance crew will know what to expect 
and can be planning ahead. When i worked as an EMT, one would drive, the 
other would be in the back getting out drugs, fluids, etc. if we KNEW 
pretty much what kind of a call it was.
@@@@

       Okay, I gotcha.  




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