A more complete reply to C&C later. In the meantime, I'll address what seems to be your more pressing concern:


If I told you what planet I'm from, I'd have to rotate your planet out of this time/space continum. Nothing personal. Regulations. 
Besides, it's only swamp-gas, anyway.

Translation of Aussie-speak:

That's certainly true, Yank, I knew a guy from Queensland that had an accident twenty kilometers ouside the end of nowhere (or off the edge of the world) because some ecological fanatic got upset over a man who had an emu ranch. The idiot opened the gate and they all took off like a shot. Stupid birds got stinking drunk on ergot(a toxic fungus, LSD like symptoms). Went absolute crazy and ran off in all directions into the wild until they ran across my friend. He was *using the outdoor toilet* and the birds bit off his *primary masuline gender characteristic* *quick, clean and close to the source*.  There's nothing worse than a drunk emu.



For anyone who wants to  use an Aussie in a story (or at least have their character sound like one):
http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html


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