Kaydee...look...just because you have an idea, doesn't mean you should post 
it. You want to write. That's cool. We all do. But there's a little thing 
called qaulity over qauntity. You're throwing out chapter ones willy-nilly 
and moving onto another idea. You have talent, but you're spreading yourself 
too thin by throwing out chapters.

Still you have a good idea here, let's look at it:
(This is all my opinion, take it or leave it) 

Nabiki reading the paper. Good. Can't imagine her taking an interest in the 
Backstreet Boys, but hey, run with it. 

But right after that, the whole thing falls apart.

The villian. What's his name? How do the BB's stand in the way of his 
controlling the   world? And for that matter, what does he look like? Where's 
his lab?

Why did the potions vanish? Who sent them to the Tendou residence?

And then here's the other question: Ranma, Ryouga, and Mousse do not get 
along well enough for a spar. If you must have them together, then have Ranma 
fighting them. Say, they jumped him for their own reasons and it just 
happened to be at the same time. Then you can have Kasumi inturrupt them with 
drinks. Or, each potion is sent to them wherever they happen to be. Ryouga 
out on the road, Mousse at the Nekohaten, and so forth.

In short, this chapter needs more detail. Right now, it's about as exciting 
as my laundry list.

And I don't have a laundry list.



*******************
Nabiki was reading the paper that said the Backstreet Boys had
mysteriously disappeared into thin air at one of their concerts.

� � "I wonder if something magical happened to them.", she said. "It says
they dissappeared 3 days ago right on stage they just went poof."

~ 3 days ago ~

� � An old wizard was mixing up some potions.

� � 'Hah!', he thought. 'This will take care of those meddling Backstreet
Boys once and for all then they won't be able to stop me from taking over
the world! I'll finally take control of all Earth!'

� � The wizard looked at the potions and placed them in the ritual pentegram
and then chanted a chant and the bottles glowed.

~

� � At the concert the Backstreet Boys were giving they suddenly noticed
that they were glowing and thought, 'Cool special effects!' then they went
poof.

~

� � The old wizard looked at the bottles and the potion that was now glowing
yellow and thought, 'Yes! I have done it! I've trapped the Backstreet Boys'
souls in these potions!'

� � Then the potions started to glow even more and vanished.

� � 'No!', thought the old wizard looking frightened. 'They're gone now! If
anyone finds them and drinks them then the stupid kids will live again!'

~ Back To Present ~

� � Outside in the Tendo's yard Ranma, Ryoga, Mousse were sparing and
Hiroshi and Daisuke were watching them. They decided it was time to take a
break and get something to drink. They sat down


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