Hi, my name's Troy. These are my comments, useful or not (the choice is yours). Anyway, take anything you like, except offense, as I mean none.

Disclaimer: I own none of these Characters. They belong to their respective 

Characters -> characters

creators and I use them in hopes of giving people some of the joy the 
characters themselves brought to me.

    The Importance of Rules
      By Taiteki Kagato


"Granddaughter, have you seen my warbling box anywhere?"
"Box in room? No, Shampoo no touch box. Maybe Mousse?"
"Perhaps.. I hope I simply misplaced it, rather than have him do anything

I think you mean,
rather than him have done anything

with it."
"Need help finding box, yes?"
"No, I'll ask Mousse, though I have the sinking suspicion he did something to
it."
"Okay, Grandmother."

Cologne hopped away on her walking stick, heading towards the blind boy
she knew was downstairs cleaning the floors. The Box... Why she'd brought
it with her, she didn't know, but the tribes-members that had watched her
take it had hidden their grateful looks behind good-byes, and "come home

good-byes -> goodbyes

soon's." If Mousse had messed with it, Nerima, if not Tokyo, was in danger.
But she wasn't worried. She was too old to worry; too experienced. 

Cologne hopped a little faster.

Mousse was, indeed scrubbing the floor, and, Cologne noted, doing a pretty
good job of taking off the scuff marks and dried ramen from the past day's
crowd. 

"Boy. Have you seen my Warbling Box?" She asked, carefully.

She asked -> she asked

Mousse stood, and turned in the direction of her voice.
"I don't think so. Where was it?"
Cologne frowned, and responded simply "It was in my room."
"Oh. No, then. The only thing I took from your room was the Garbage."

Garbage -> garbage

Cologne bristled, and smacked Mousse on the head with her walking stick,
managing to do so quickly enough to get it back under her before she began
to fall. 
"Foolish boy! Nothing in my room is garbage! What did you do with it?"
Mousse, rubbing his head, pointed outside, across the street at the dumpster.
Cologne sighed, and hopped out the door, her worry turning to dread. As she
approached, she spotted the box atop a pile of broken boards, the lid ajar.
She peeked inside, and frowned, finding nothing. Looking up at the stars,
she hoped the night would be peaceful, because soon, all-too-soon, she
knew that Nerima was in much danger, now.

she knew that Nerima was in much danger, now. -> because soon, all too soon, Nerima would be in much danger.

"I'm Home!" Ranma called, walking in the door of the Tendo Household.

Home -> home

"We're in here, Ranma." Called Kasumi, from the dining area. Ranma 

Ranma." Called -> Ranma," called

slipped out if his shoes, and made his way to the dining room, hoping to
see Akane there.

Akane, at the same time, was waiting for Ranma to round the corner. 
They'd parted ways after school that day, and she was wondering where
he'd been all day. As Ranma finally came into view, she noticed he 
looked kinda nervous. 
"Ahh... Akane? Can you come here for a moment? I have something I 
want to show you, but can't right here."
Nabiki quirked a brow at that, but said nothing. Akane opened her 

Start a new paragraph when you switch the character perspective.

mouth to protest, but shut it, before climbing to her feet and walking
over to Ranma. If he was planning something perverted, she decided,
let him make the first move. 

Following Ranma outside, she watched him walk over to a tree in the 
yard, and pull something out of the branches. Something small and white. 
"Here.. I wanted to give you something for.... Scaring away P-Chan." 
He said. She frowned a little as she thought she heard him say 
something more under his breath, but shrugged, and walked over to him. 
What is it, Ranma? It's a bit dark out here." She said, peering into the 

here." She said -> here," she said

night to see what it was Ranma held. 

It's a bit dark out here," she said

"I know, but somehow, this thing doesn't like the light. I was thinking it 
might be... umm.. a night-thing. Whatever those kinds of animals are; 
like Bats." He moved towards her, and held the small animal out to her, 

like Bats -> like bats

carefully. 

"Oh! It's so cute! Thanks Ranma!" Akane said loudly, reaching out to take
the little creature. It was cute, too. A small, bipedal creature with large 
hairless ears, and brown and white fur covering it's head and body. It's 
small beak-like mouth, as well as the small fingers and toes were 
hairless, like it's ears, and it's eyes were huge, and warm, staring at 
Akane with an almost childlike curiosity. 

Oh my! It can't be... Gizmo, can it? (Took me a moment, really. I'm not from the eighties, and I played video games through the nineties, so...)

"What is it, Ranma? Where'd you get it?" 

"I dunno. It was just wandering around, like it was looking for something. 
It looked harmless enough, so I figured you might like it. As for what it 
is.. It keeps saying something weird... 'Mog..' Mog-something."

As if understanding, the creature in Akane's arms looked at Ranma, and
gave a little smile, before saying, in a cute voice, "Mogwai."


AN: Another story started. Oh well. Hopefully this is original enough to gain 
some interest, and help me get back on the road to writing again. Tannim's 
been away so long, I haven't a clue when the next Chapter of Selves Inserted 
will come out, and Trials of the Heart has been put on Hold due to personal 
reasons. So I figured, 'why not this?'

Yeah, why not? The self-conscious, self-parodying world of the Gremlins meets the ironic, chaotic world of Ranma 1/2.

I do feel though this chapter was far too short, as though it doesn't have enough 'life' to it.

Also, was it important to show so many characters without taking anytime to actually meet them? We glimpse Cologne, Mousse, Akane, Ranma, and Gizmo, but everyone else shown has no real role. I suggest either cutting out Shampoo, Kasumi, and Nabiki or fleshing out their roles, so that they're actually part of the story. (I really would prefer the latter.)

Example, if the danger which escaped from the box was so great, wouldn't Cologne at least _try_ to stop it by sending Shampoo and Mousse out to look for the little Mogwai? She may know it to be futile, but she'd at least make her two charges make an effort to stop it.

Also, Ranma may invite just Akane to see what he has to show her, but I wouldn't doubt that if Nabiki and Kasumi were there that they wouldn't want to see it too. In fact, the whole family might butt in if they saw an oppurtunity to have Ranma and Akane get closer together.

I also really want to see more Gizmo! How'd he get out of the box? How'd Ranma find him? Were there any adventures in the process? (More than likely, as he's got the same luck as Ranma.)

In fact, you might want to start this when Akane and Ranma part ways at the school, and show how Ranma found the little critter.

Anyway, I _really_ hope to see more.

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