Hi!
*sigh* Yet another ranma fic...
The first 3k was something I came up with quite randomly, but only did anything with it after being further inspired a night or two ago.
Don't forget to insert a standard disclaimer... I did. ~_~
Anyhow, enjoy! Or else! ^_@
Ja ne,
-Alex Timiney
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
== == == == == ==
"Really?" Kuno asked. "I think you're fine just as you are. But if
you say so..."
Ranma was barely able to restrain her joy, as Tatewaki agreed and
drew his sword. Finally she would be cured!
"Wish Bringer... Bring the Pigtailed Girl bigger br..." Kuno was
interrupted before he could complete the command.
"That's not it!" Ranma chastised. This was going to be just a little
harder than expected. She was going to need to come straight out and
say something that Kuno would interpret the right way. Something that
was on his mind a lot.... The 'Pigtailed Girl'? His 'Tigress', Akane?
The 'Foul Sorcerer' Ranma Saotome?
Ranma Saotome, who had put the pigtailed girl under his spell, who
Kuno had spent most of the past year trying to release! Of course!
It's easy!
"Kuno, darling!" she said quickly, before the strange couple could
move on. "I need you to use the Wish Bringer to free me from Ranma's
control!" she blurted out, putting on a pained expression and
flinching away as if smote by some unseen power, just for extra
effect.
"Of course! Why did I not see it before!?" Kuno grieved. "Do not
fear, for I shall release you immediately!" Drawing forth the magical
sword once again, Kuno gave it it's final command as Ranma looked on
with hope filled eyes...
"Wish Bringer! Here is my final wish: Free the Pigtailed Girl from
the control of the Vile Sorcerer, Ranma Saotome!"
"Your Wish Is My Command," the sword responded in it's
inflectionless monotone. For a moment nothing seemed to happen, but
before Kuno could think to say a word, or for Ranma to check if he
was still a girl, the enchanted weapon began to hum and glow dull
white. The light and sound grew stronger and stronger, the light
becoming too intense to look at, and the sound turning into an ear
piercing screech.
Just when the two thought that they could bear no more, the activity
halted. The light faded away and the noises stopped. Kuno simply
stared at the sword, nonplussed, while Ranma's reaction was an angry
shout.
"Whadda hell was all that about?! I'm still a girl!"
To which the Wish Bringer responded: "TILT!" and promptly exploded.
= == == == == =
A Careless Wish
A Ranma 1/2 'What If' fanfic
By Alex Timiney <curator@dicordia.connectfree.co.uk>
Started 03/10/2002
Updated 22/10/2002
Thanks to Ranko < Omega_X@gmx.net> for critical review
A Chapter for Aviators
(Pilot Episode)
== == == == ==
Genma and Akane, having been nearby, following the 'action', rushed
onto the scene. A moderately sized crater held the slagged remains of
the Wish Bringer sword. Ranma and Kuno were sprawled on the ground,
unconscious, at either side where they had been thrown by the blast.
Despite being wrapped in the burnt and tattered remains of his
clothing, it was clear that Ranma was still female.
Genma hung back to further survey the scene, while Akane rushed to
Ranma's prone form, kneeling at her side.
"Ranma! Ranma, are you all right?" she asked, almost wailing.
Ranma groaned as she came round, propping herself up onto her hands
and knees and clutching her head.
"Uhh... what happened?" she asked, more to herself than anyone else.
She kept her eyes clamped shut as she tried to shake the ringing of
concussion from her head.
"You managed to get Kuno to wish for you curse to cured, that's
what," Akane told the other girl in an almost chiding tone, "but it
didn't work and it blew up."
Finally finding something of her centre, and dispelling the headache
and nausea, Ranma pushed back into a sitting position and opened her
eyes to look at Akane.
"Uh... do I know you?"
Akane resisted the urge to face-fault, and decided to get angry
instead. Ranma was obviously pulling a joke, just to annoy her. What
a jerk! And she was actually concerned about him! Scowling angrily,
she reached out for the nearest blunt object (the top of a park
table... which _had_ been nailed down) and swung it down, aiming for
Ranma's head.
"RANMA YOU JERK!"
The result was not the expected one. Ranma jumped to her feet and
lashed out with a foot, splitting the wooden table top in two.
"I don't know who you are, or how you know me, but I don't appreciate
being attacked for no reason!" she growled at Akane, a hint of fear
showing in her angry, distrustful eyes. The visage was enhanced by a
crack of thunder from the darkening weather.
"Ranma..." Akane's demeanour reverted to it's earlier concerned state
now that she recognised her innazuke's sincerity. Ranma really
couldn't remember her! Was he suffering from amnesia, she wondered,
or was this an effect of the wish, like Shampoo's memory wiping
technique? The fact that Ranma's coarse dialect had become less harsh
and more grammatically correct went unnoticed on a conscious level,
as was the use of feminine speech forms and pronouns.
"Ungrateful boy!" Genma called out. "Show your fianc�e some respect!"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ranma yelled back, her gaze
switching from the kneeling girl to the overweight man. "How the heck
can she be my fianc�e? Are you blind? We're both girls!"
"Ranma! You must have hit your head in the explosion and forgotten
who you are," Akane reasoned. "You're not really a girl - you're just
cursed to turn into one, when splashed with cold water!"
"Feh, that's ridiculous!" Ranma snorted. A flash of sheet lightning
and a closer thunderclap added extra punctuation. "Besides, I'm not
suffering from amnesia, 'cos I know who I am... and I've always been
a girl!"
"Akane is telling the truth, boy..." Genma began.
"Quit calling me boy, already!" Ranma interrupted, but she was
ignored.
"... If you are truly not suffering from amnesia, then you could tell
me where you've been living for the past year."
"Heh, of course I can! I've... I've, uh... damn." Ranma cursed,
glaring at the ground, having realised that she _couldn't_ actually
remember anything specific about her past, recent or distant. There
was one thing she was certain of though, "I can still remember who I
am, though! And I'm telling you, I'm _not_ a boy cursed to turn into
a girl! I don't even want to be a boy - they're all perverts!"
"Got that right," Akane muttered under her breath.
Finally, with one more peal of thunder, the ever nearing storm
arrived and disgorged it's watery precipitate onto the group. Before
Genma could say anything else, he was transformed into a panda,
removing his capacity for speech. Before Akane could say anything
else, Ranma transformed...
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" It would have been a perfectly girly,
shrilly scream, if not for the perfectly masculine, alto voice
producing it.
Akane and Genma-panda watched in shocked horror as Ranma-kun
perfectly executed a little known variant of the Saotome Secret
technique, and swooned.
* * *
Nabiki was lounging in the living room with her father when Akane
stormed in from the veranda. The middle Tendo looked up to her
younger sister from where she lay on the floor, taking in the sodden
clothing and distressed expression.
"So, how did Ranma's big date go?" she asked, a glint of humour in
her eyes as she tried to decode Akane's body language. By the looks
of it, either the date had been a resounding success and Ranma had
been cured, but perhaps at the expense of doing something ecchi with
Kuno. Or (much more likely) it had been a total failure, and Akane
was trying to hide her disappointment, lest someone work out that she
was actually concerned for the boy turned girl.
Akane just humphed and continued through to her bedroom, letting the
next figure appear answer Nabiki's question. Genma, wet fur sticking
to his body, entered the room. Over his shoulder in a fireman's carry
was Ranma. A clearly male Ranma, despite being as soggy as Akane and
his father.
Nabiki quirked an eyebrow, barely maintaining her Ice Queen fa�ade.
'There goes half my earnings from Kuno,' she thought glumly. Her
father's reaction was a little less restrained.
"Ranma, my boy! You're cured!" Soun exclaimed as he jumped up. "Now
the schools can be joined! We need to organise the wedding! I think
we can have it arranged for tomorrow... no, there's still time to do
it today!" he babbled away to himself about almost anything he could
think of related to marriage, all the while dancing a little a little
jig around the room, waving victory fans in the air. "Genma, my
friend, why the glum look?"
With his free hand, the panda held up a sign which read; [You'll see
in a moment...] He put the unconscious boy down on the floor, a quiet
groan indicating that he was about to come two, and waited for
Kasumi.
Right on cue, the eldest of the three Tendo daughters came into the
room from the kitchen, kettle in hand. She almost dropped it when she
saw that Ranma was still male, despite being wet. Her left hand moved
to her cheek for the obligatory, "Oh my," before smiling and saying
something more intelligent.
"I see Ranma's date went well, then?" she commented as she passed the
kettle to the Saotome patriarch.
A splash of hot water allowed Genma to reply without needing brush
and ink. "Not quite, I'm afraid." He demonstrated his point by
pouring the remaining fluid over his former son, turning him into a
her.
The unexpected transformation elicited a sincere "Oh my" from Kasumi.
Nabiki simply raised her other eyebrow, thanking the gods for
preserved revenue. Soun, on the other hand, bugged out, his jaw
dropping down, eyes bulging forward and the odd hair falling out of
place and sticking out at odd angles. He recovered his composure
somewhat, but rather than the expect explosion of tears, or retreat
into bed, he put on a brave front.
"Well, that's not too bad," he observed, patting Genma on the back,
good-naturedly. "At least it'll be easier for him to stay a man now,
right, Saotome, since hot water is much easier to avoid than cold!"
"I'm afraid it gets worse, Tendo," Genma told his friend, solemnly.
As if purely to corroborate her father's point, Ranma started to come
round. The first thing she did was put a hand to her chest, checking
for the presence of her impressive bust. Without opening her eyes she
said with a sigh, "Thank god... I'm not a guy!"
It wasn't possible for Nabiki's eyebrows to get any higher. They
tried to disappear into her hairline, anyway. She reached for her
Dictaphone, pressed record, and angled the microphone in Ranma's
direction. Kasumi's reaction didn't even get past "Oh...". Soun
grinned grimly, standing over the rousing girl, his angry distress
barely concealed.
"Now, son, what's all this nonsense about not wanting to be man?" he
asked. Even as he spoke, his demonic visage started to manifest.
putting a fatherly arm around the girl's shoulders as Ranma opened
her eyes and propped herself up on her arms.
"Whu?" Ranma muttered unintelligently, as she opened her eyes and
propped herself up on her arms, trying to take in her new
surroundings. As Soun's words sunk in, she gathered herself to her
feet, scowling the new man. "Hey, what is it with the people around
here? Why does everyone keep calling me a boy? I'm a girl, damn it,
can't you see that?"
That was not what the Tendo elder was wanting to hear, and so he lost
control of his temper (and, some might argue, his sanity). "Does this
mean you don't want to marry my baby daughter?!" he hissed, distorted
head growing in its grotesque proportions.
Ranma took a few steps back, recoiling from the unexpected
apparition, a tinge of fear appearing in her face. "What, are you
crazy? I'm a girl! Girls don't marry girls, let alone babies! That's
just sick!" She wasn't quite prepared Soun's next reaction.
The angry man's demon head withered away, being replaced by a cascade
of tears as he bawled his eyes out. "Bwaaa!! My son in law thinks
he's a girl!" he managed to get out between wet sobs. "Now the
schools will never be joined!"
Ranma inched back, wondering at the sight of a grown man weeping. She
hadn't meant to make him cry! What was wrong with the man? Despite
the off-putting howling, she continued her own rant non the less,
though with a softer, hesitant voice. "Just 'cos boys are perverts,
it doesn't mean I'm gay... Whose schools? Just who are you anyway?"
"You mean, you don't remember?" Kasumi asked, a concerned frown
crossing her face. Her interruption seemed to calm her distraught
father, somewhat, and the tears died down.
"Well, you kinda look familiar," Ranma admitted. "Kinda like I
might've known you in a past life, or something."
There was a moment of uneasy silence at the possible implications of
the analogy. Was Ranma really dead, replaced by a girl who was so
much like him? Wanting some time to think and find herself, Ranma
took the hiatus as an opportunity to leave.
"Look, if it's all the same with you guys, I'm just gonna go home and
forget any of this happened..." she said, making her way over to the
shoji door. She stopped dead in her tracks, though, and before anyone
could comment she made an unpleasant realisation. "Oh, yeah, that's
right. I can't remember where I live."
"Why, you've been living here since last autumn, Ranma-chan," Kasumi
told the girl. Being much more intelligent than accredited, she had
deliberately used the -chan honorific to test Ranma's response - in
the past he had always twitched or winced at the effeminate suffix...
but not this time. Unless he was using the soul of ice technique
learnt from Cologne, Kasumi was sure that Ranma definitely though of
herself as a girl. She decided, then, to treat her as such. With a
glance to the two fathers, her expression sternly indicating that
they should let her handle this, she continued.
"Wouldn't you like to get out of those tattered clothes and have a
nice hot bath?" she suggested with an endearing smile, placing a hand
on the other girl's elbow, subtly leading her towards the furo. "I
can explain you all you need to know while the tub fills."
Ranma looked up to the elder girl and tentatively smiled. "Thank
you," she said quietly as she allowed Kasumi to take her out of the
room. "I'm glad someone around here is taking me for who I am..."
Soun and Genma watched the boy-turned-girl-turned-girl-turned-boy
leave the room. As she left, Soun lit up a cigarette and turned to
Genma. With a puff of smoke, the demon head returned in all it's
glory.
"Now tell me, Saotome, just what happened on that date of Ranma's?"
he hissed, the words dropping out of his mouth like stone slabs,
pushing Genma away.
Genma shuffled away, presenting warding signs and putting on a
fearful smile in an attempt to appease his temperamental friend.
"Now, there's no need to over react, Tendo. This is just a slight set
back to our plans..."
"A _slight_ setback?!" The dialogue became difficult to hear, as the
two men exited the house into the garden.
Nabiki 'tsk'ed and muttered something about pathetic fathers before
rising to her feet and following, recorder in hand, hoping to catch
the story (however distorted it may be, coming from Genma's mouth) on
tape.
= == == == =
C&C to curator@discordia.connectfree.co.uk
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