----- Original Message -----
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
To: "Ukyou Kuonji" <ucchans@Ameritech.Net>
Cc: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Monday, October 14, 2002 11:12 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [Azumanga] Physics 101
We'll get to a recent posting now:
Whoa, and you honor *me* by commenting on it so soon...
"Welcome to your third year of high school, kids!" Yukari-sensei beamed
at the assembled class 3-3. Everyone was there from last year, and in
the
same seating arrangement as back in 2-3; Yukari-sensei hated change.
Probably doesn't even like moving them up a grade. :)
You should see how she reacts to a kid acing a test, even. "Don't get so
goddam cocky, bucko..."
"I know I'm looking forward to it," Kasuga Ayumu murmured happily, eyes
forward dreamily.
There was a brief scuffling sound of a desk being turned to face her.
"Osaka? YOU're looking forward to this year?" Kagura was aghast. "You
barely do better than *I* do in class!"
'Osaka' slowly turned to look her fellow Blockhead in the eye. "I
suppose
that's true, but this year, we get to study...
==================
PHYSICS 101
You know, there was something in the delivery of that that makes my skin
crawl. Good job.
Gee, I didn't mean to scare y'all with that lead-in... it just kinda fell
into place.
==================
This did nothing to calm the class jock. "EEHHH?!" Osaka was into...
physics? Was her space cadet persona merely a mask behind which hid a
second Einstein?
Feh.
Yeah, you know it.
For her part, Osaka only responded by serenely turning back to face the
front of the classroom, while giving her classmate an enthusiastic nod.
"I
have something I really want to learn about."
"WHOOOAAH!!" Yomi dropped her bespectacled face into her hands as her
old
friend Tomoe sprang to her feet beside Osaka. The third Blockhead would
just *have* to throw in her own two yen.
I'm not familiar with the series, do they actually refer to themselves as
'The Blockheads? :)
Yes, although granted, it's only in one episode. Osaka-chan's the smartest
of the three Blockheads, judging from their test scores, but that's damning
her with faint praise.
By now, Osaka's face had been firmly planted into her desk,
Up to that point only her eyes were rolling. Might want to mention her
head
was being beaten down as well.
I figure it's a consequence of those slaps to the back. If it bends, her
neck's not gonna keep her head upright.
Now, for whatever reason, male teachers always have a sort of creepiness
about them. Some of them are pretty obvious, like Kimura-sensei's
open-mouthed gape, and his constant attempts to watch the girls' swim
classes and insistences that their gym shirts be firmly tucked into their
shorts. Others, like Takamatsu-sensei, are subtle, favoring little
Chiyo-chan even beyond what her academic prowess might account for;
obviously, the man had a Lolita complex.
Heh.
Hey, it's what the kids think.
The fellow that just walked in, however, might only be considered creepy
if one kept in mind that he taught physics. That, and the fact that his
height, his slightly cleft chin, and his muscular frame seemed vaguely
foreign. "Good morning, class! I'm Mr. Shimoi, and I'll be teaching you
physics this year! Please do your best in this class!"
"YES, SIR!" the class chorused as one. The guy was enthusiastic; it was
surprisingly contagious.
"Aaand, if any of you have any questions - anything at all - please,
don't
hesitate to ask. And remember, there are no stupid questions - just the
unasked ones."
Pity. I always prefer the, 'There are no stupid questions, just stupid
people that ask questions.' ^_^
This is a teacher, DB, and a reasonably dedicated one: he doesn't want to
discourage questions by saying something like *that*.
(Incidentally, he's partially based on a physics prof *I* had in high
school; his attitude of "Ask me questions... please!" took a LOT of getting
used to)
Nearly the entire class turned to look at Osaka as she raised her hand.
"Sensei...?"
"Well, a question already. This has got to be a new record. What can I
help you with, ah..." he paused as he looked down to study the seating
chart, "...Kasuga-san?"
Osaka smiled; someone actually called her by her given name! Well,
okay,
her surname, but it was just so tiresome to be called 'Osaka' all the
time.
Everyone expected her to talk with a thick accent, to do manzai comedy,
to
jaywalk - well, to be fair, she did do *that* - and it seemed like she
disappointed people by not acting like a stereotypical Osakan.
Heh
You know, I had the devil's own time looking up her real name... ^_^;;
Shimoi-sensei bit his lip to keep from chuckling. "Ah, Kasuga-san...
you
still watch Doraemon, eh? Wonderful show. But this isn't anime, this is
the real world, and propeller beanies simply don't work. For one,
helicopter blades are much longer than beanie propellers. For another,
even
if it *did* work, either the hat would fly off a person's head, or, if
they
decided to strap it to their head, it would wind up choking them to death
trying to get off the ground."
Or rip their hair of their skull, depending on how it was fastened.
Hadn't thought about that: all that occured to me was the chin strap. Of
course, if you're gonna glue the thing onto the top of your head, you gotta
*expect* problems.
"Well, what if it was someone really light, like, say... Chiyo-chan!
And
what if, instead of a hat... it was her pigtails!"
Hmm. I wonder if this will work.
"Kaishira! Kaishira!"
No, wait... that's a completely different anime. Stop giving me weird
crossover ideas, DB!
Once again, Yomi buried her face in her hands. "She's gotta be the only
girl who's actually eager to tell the world she's heavier than she looks.
Dammit..."
Depends on how skinny she is. :)
Or in this case, tiny.
Shimoi-sensei's expression was one of bemusement. "Well, even less so,
then. What I'm saying is that, light as Chiyo-chan is, she's not capable
of
going airborne of her own power."
Osaka's eyes turned toward the ceiling as she pondered this for a
moment.
The teacher sensed that a reply was forthcoming, and he was already
wondering if his open-door policy toward questions was such a good idea.
"Yes, Kasuga-san?"
"Well..." She stood up, and walked up to Chiyo-chan's desk.
"Helicopters
don't fly, either, unless their motor is running. Suppose she had some
kind
of motor..." She reached for the nearest of Chiyo-chan's pigtails, and
began to wind it in an anticlockwise motion. The other pigtail rose and
wound up in tandem with the one being twisted in Osaka's fingers
Hehehe
I'm sure you saw it coming...
"Just once more, Sensei... ah!" And with that, she let go, and
Chiyo-chan's pigtails spun backwards with a rhythmic flapping, lifting
the
little girl, yelping, out of her desk. Gently and randomly, Chiyo-chan
began to fly around the classroom like a helium balloon with a slow leak.
Shimoi-sensei and the rest of the class watched, slackjawed and silent,
as
Chiyo-chan buzzed about the room.
Sensai: Miss Chiyo, I'm afraid breaking the laws of physics is the same as
breaking class rules. To the principal with you.
Sensei: And I want you to *walk* there. On the *ground*.
Osaka finally broke the silence: "And that's what I wanted to ask you
about, Sensei... How does Chiyo-chan do that?
Heh. Good punchline.
>
"Ne, Osaka," Kagura hissed as the teacher turned his back on them to
return to his desk, "didn't you have a question or two to ask
Shimoi-sensei
about flying?"
Heh. Cute.
Well, yes, she is, but that's beside the point.
Osaka slowly turned to look at Kasuga, and after a moment of quietly
staring at her, replied, "I think they'll have to wait..." Her
expression
was grave as she returned to facing forward, both at the teacher and at
Chiyo-chan's pigtails. "Maybe once we start doing experiments..."
Heheheh
Actually, this probably makes her sound more like a mad scientist than it
should...
Thanks to the guys in FFIRC during the One-Hour Challenge, and special
thanks to Latin D for a thorough going-over of this fic before final
release. I don't usually solicit pre-readers, but the first Azumanga
Daioh
fic requires a little something extra, after all. Hope y'all like it,
even
if it is a bit derivative.
Since I'm not familiar with the source, I can't talk about how closely and
IC the fic is, but it certainly works from a humor standpoint and its easy
to understand. I liked it. Will have to read the source material one of
these days.
D.B. Sommer
I do recommend it, DB. It's a charming and funny series, and I probably
didn't do it justice. But someone had to write something like this, after
all.
Anyway, thank you so much for giving it your time, even if the source
material is unfamiliar. I'd like to hope that may change someday: maybe you
can give these six, seven girls and their teachers the treatment they
deserve.... waitaminnit, that didn't come out right...
Itsu mo,
Ucchan ^_^
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