Sorry it took me a while to get to this:

Well, it took me longer to decide to actually
buckle down and C&C one of yours.

Me? Giving public C&C?

Well, if you must. :)

I must, and then for my next trick, I shall
turn you into a rosebush!

Snipped some parts where I couldn't think of anything witty to say.

Witty things are getting hard to come by, so I'll
just settle for some half-witty things to mutter about.

I've been looking for a proper piece to provide C&C for,
and, quite frankly, I haven't found it

..> Your stuff's too good. Read through it and couldn't find much

of anything wrong with it. So, I'll be giving a review and commentary

You know, I like that one. I'll have to remember it the next time someone
tries to pester me for C+C. "You'r stuff's too good.'

It works perfectly well. The recipient demanding C&C would
typically be of the variety that would actually believe it.
^_^

 The Things We Wish For...

"Can I have a bloated wombat for Christmas, Daddy? Please?
Pretty please?!"

You know, you might have the right idea there to the rest of that title.

What? "The Things We Wish For On A Cold Christmas Morning, Like
A Bloated Australian Wombat?"

Funny how you manage to churn these chapters--at a very good
quality, I might add--out while I'm stuck at one chapter every
couple of months...

It's not really any better than my usual rate. These chapters are about

half

of what I usually post. It only seems like I'm writing quicker, but I'm

not.

Ah, yes... I remember doing that for a while. (NETTG 10-2, parts
1-21)

Stefan Gagne's Slayers trilogy. Now THAT was a quick piece
of great work there...

Still have to finish that. I did the first arc and never got around to
finishing it. And I loved it so much too. Got to meet the man himself
recently as well, which should be all the more motivation to complete it.

Wasn't he going professional with his writing hobby, in a similar
manner to ones capitalizing on their webcomics...?

At the opposite end of the speed spectrum: Zen. Everyone loves Zen.
I like Zen. He's funny. ^_^

He once told me that since I wasn't going to be able to complete a chapter
of a fic right away, he wasn't going to hurry the C+C on the previous
chapter that came out before. Three years later, and I'm still waiting for
the C+C. ^_^

He's still meditating on it. ^_^

Hmm. I wonder if I can hold the fic for ransom. "I'll do another chapter
of
Should Old Acquiantance if Zen coughs up the C+C for chapter one.' That

way

I can blame Zen instead of myself if anyone bugs me about not working more
on it.

Everyone likes blaming Zen! It's an FFML pastime!

Besides, Zen once said something positive about "Going At It Like
Rabbits," so I like 'em. ^_^

 Larry F's new address at:
 http://www.rakhal.com/florestica/

<plug> That's a REALLY nice site there!!! </plug> ^_^

Heh. You're as bad as I am, making other people post your stuff on webpages
rather than going through the hassle of doing it yourself. :)

It's a great ego boost! Knowing that someone actually considers
the mindless babble one has written worth putting on a website
somewhere...

The first offer I got was a few months after I started writing
NETTG, and I've been hooked ever since.

The more sites the fanfics are located on, the better chance
of getting it seen!

Yep. Although I've also had a problem with the webpages disappearing over
time. I'm trying to hedge my bets by having at least one site functioning
at any given time. :)

The Florestica site seems to be more or less stable, though they
did have to change servers a few months back.

Except fanfic.net. For some reason, I'd feel a bit edgy
putting my stuff on fanfic.net. I don't quite know why...

It's nice if you like breif comments on stuff, but almost no one goes into
any detail there.

Though I'm told I could at least get a bigger audience if I were
to post there as well... (Ah, decisions, decisions. ^_^)

Think they're still going to do new adaptations and movies, or
are they pretty much done with what they've got?

They've moved on to bigger and better things.

Then, twenty years later, they'll come out with a remake.
(Happened for He-Man... a few times. And Star Trek! Can't
forget Star Trek...)

That would mean that she was, perhaps, fourteen or thirteen when she gave
birth to Kasumi. Gosh...

Perhaps I didn't skim through the previous chapters thoroughly enough.
Maybe the Kachiko they got back was before all that...

Yep. She didnt' become young. She was plucked out of time when she was 17
years of age. So she's a seventeen year old as virgin as the pristine snow.
:)

Pristine snow... In what state?

And... That would cause some wacky temporal anomaly--if she
were simply plucked out of the space-time continuum years
before she met Soun and had the three girls...

Akane(glares at Ranma): WHY did you just have to think of it!?
(vanishes in a puff of temporal logic)

If she were copied, then, she's roughly as good as a clone
with a few stray memories, and... it doesn't really matter
much what happens to her.

Unless--UNLESS, of course, she gets sent back in time, where
she DOES fall for Soun, etc...

Of course, logic in a Ranma fic? Naaah. ^_^

 xxxxxxxxxxxx

It can't be THAT sharply rated, can it? ^_^

I always get that about my x's.

Well, one bad pun deserves another, I always say.

And no, it isn't. Only my "Problems' trilogy
would get that kind of rating.

Ah, I see. ^_^

Muscles(with signs and marching around): UNFAIR! UNFAIR! UNFAIR!
(flag burning, starvation protests, etc.)

Nah. They just pull knives and give her a stabbing pain back there. :)

True, true... They do that.

Akane? Being nice? There was a time that fanfic writers thought she was
nothing more than a heartless mallet-wielding monster...

while others portrayed her as a saint. If they admitted she had flaws, they
were quickly done away with in a page or two. And still others portrayed
her
in varying degrees between the two extreme. It's still pretty much the same
today.

Even though a lot of info is available online, a lot of wacky
interpretation goes on... Like everything else, practically.
That would explain the Church of Ucchan and the Knights of the One
True Fiancee...

Character bashing as religion. Yup, it just about works.

Little did she know, when she took a step toward the mirror, that she

WAS

Kasumi!

No Miyuki-chan in Wonderland please. :P

Mwahahahahhahaaa! ^_^

Wow... Background information that makes everything feel so much more
real.

Gotta have reality, so we can bash it to pieces in the next few
paragraphs. Ahh, tricks of the trade! ^_^

True, but as humor oriented as it is, we do try to give some seriousness
to the fic.

Yes, a balance must be struck. Seriousness is necessary to get to
care about the characters...

THEN we can whip out the mallets, the tac-nukes, and the rubber
chickens. ^_^

 But the feel to Kasumi's room, as pleasant as it was, still made Akane
 uncomfortable.

Maybe it was all the pink frills, or all the ChuChu plushies...

Or maybe it was the Bubblegum Crisis and Shin Seiki Evangelion
posters... Why would Kasumi have such a fixation on Quincy,
Dark Schneider, and Ikari Gendo, anyway?

Heh. Now that I don't think I've ever seen.

I haven't yet seen the manga or anime that shows her room, so
for me, it's all still up in the air.

Maybe she's got an underwear collection bigger than Happosai's--
I just don't know! ^_^

Oh, sure, blame Kasumi for having your mom back. ^_^

Kasumi was the one that said she would wish for her mother back.

Well, you've got to be more specific than that. You have to
bring your lawyer when you're making wishes! ^_^

Akane, just find some of those age-switching mushrooms and that'll solve
all your problems. Whether ya make Kachi older or Soun younger, that's
your choice.

One good plot device deserves another. ^_^

But that would be too easy. This fic isn't meant to be a one shot, after
all.

Everything's easy. It's only how hard you want to make it. ^_^

But, still, these plot devices were and are available in the
Ranma series. I wouldn't complain one bit if you had someone
perhaps attempt to use one or two... (nudge-nudge, wink-wink,
saynomore!)

If ya count that you've got everyone together now. Sure, there's all
sorts of problems, but that's family life! Surely it was noisier and
messier back before Kachi died, what with all the lil' ones running
around and causing mayhem.

A life without problems is a life without meaning. ^_^

But Akane already has enough problems. Life has too much meaning already,
as far as she's concerned.

Yup, and that's 'cause, despite 38 volumes of manga, she hasn't
lived enough to appreciate it. ^_^

Oh, but what an adjustment they were undergoing.

Keeping Kachiko out of Akane's wardrobe has GOT to be a challenge. ^_^

Nope. She already tried Akane's clothing and none of the bottoms fit.
Akane's hips are too wide.

Until, of course, some martial arts seamstress comes and redoes
everyone's clothes....

 Shooting a glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand,

The alarm clock wheezed an fell over when the glance penetrated its
heart, and it made an overly melodramatic show of falling down,
holding a bouquet of roses to its face.

Oh, fine, make this a darkfic by killing things like Time. :P

Speaking of darkfics, I remember a horrifically dark Hello Kitty
fanfic that was absolutely hilarious...

Good idea, the bathrobe. Wouldn't want to walk into the bathroom
and find out that the girl that says she's your mom is really
Pantyhose Tarou in disguise.

She's not. You did seem to have a fixation on that idea for a while, though.

Well, ya gotta jump to wrong conclusions... Wouldn't be proper
otherwise!

Kasumi was always the first up and finished with it before anyone,
 so that was never a problem.

Or so everyone thinks--they never actually _see_ her coming out of
the bathroom. She's really a sinister robot from another dimension,
you know.

It would make sense. She was sent to destroy the world, but a glitch in

her

Microsoft programming made her think she was suppose to clean rather than
destroy.

Indeed. ^_^

Nabiki was second, with Akane third, and the
 men in some other order.

Genma: Out of the way, boy! My turn! (tosses Ranma out of the furo)

Heh. It was meant to show she didn't really care enough to note what order
the men went in.

Ah, I see now...

"SWEETO!!"

*GLOMP!!!*

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Nah. He had his chance in the prologue and hasn't been seen since. :)

Amazingly resilient guy, though. Gotta respect 'em. ^_^

"Oh yeah?! Red rover, red rover, let mommy move over!!!"

Sounds like a kinky lemon.

Well, yes, you'd know about proper titles for _those_. ^_^

"All right, all right. I'm not some zombie queen, you know."

"Really? Then what's with the undead things hanging around outside?"

"Those are just my fan club!"

"Fan club. Right."

Nah. This version of her hasn't been dead yet, at least from her
perspective.

Temporal anomalies galore! ^_^

"I'm just doing what you taught me, Mommy!"

"Do as I say, not as I do!"

"Hypocrite."

"You're just BEGGIN' for a spanking, aren't you?"

Might even get one before it's over.

Yaaay!

And it'll certainly be in the lemon
side story I'm never  going to write.

Awww. ^_^;;;

Like mother, like daughter? Think about it, won't you?

That's the idea, not that either of the participants would appreciate the
comparison.

It's funny because it's true.

We can all get along.

"Can't we all just... get along!?"

I avoided that one.

One bad cliche deserves another. ^_^

"Peanuts! Popcorn! Milk duds!"

"Not those kinds of concessions!"

Ohh. Bad pun. Me like.

One bad pun deserves...

"Oh, well, if you want to SOLVE the problem, fine!"

Reasonable suggestion are avoided like the plague.

Indeed!

 Kachiko gave a hard, affectionate slap to Akane's back.

'Least it wasn't to 'er rump, eh?

Again, lemon side story titled 'Incest really is the best.'

Anybody flood your inbox asking for you to write that one
yet?

Kasumi will win. She always wins. ^_^

Nah. Akane's got the inside line at the moment.

Awww... ^_^

Dear ol' mom, at any age, has got to be a great help.

Except, of course, for the rebellious teenagers. Then again, Kachi IS
a rebellious teenager...

Ironic, isn't it?

Indeed...

The argument took fifteen minutes and the brushing took two. Go figure.

^_^

Just like when people search fifteen minutes for a missing remote for the
TV when they could just get up and change the channel instead. :)

Precisely. Funny how people do these things...

 Nabiki said, "No thanks. I don't need to learn how to brush my teeth

from

 you yet again."

"Oh yeah!?" Kachiko stuffed a mushroom down Nabiki's throat. "Heh. NOW
ya do, Chibi-biki!"

"WAAAH!"

That would be evil.

When ya want to mother over someone and you don't know why...

_< I HATE cold sores.

Heh.

But it's the canker sores that really get on my nerves...

And she learned peaceful forms of very deadly martial arts from the Ghandi
clan...

I assure you, Kachi laughs at the' inherently flawed premise of ulitmate
pacificsm'. ^_^

But you can't argue with the results of master practitioners. ^_^

Then again, maybe Soun knows more than he lets on about. Like Yoda
or something. ^_^

No. Not here. :)

Awww... Not even a little? Pretty please?

Not to mention all the would-be pokemon trainers on the way...

Now you are just being silly. :)

...

Only just NOW I'm being silly? Hmm... I shall have to work on
that.

*VRRRRR-VRRRRRRRR!!!* Sounds like a blender or dentist's drill. ^_^

Dont' make me shudder. I hate dentist's drills.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA! ^_^

I see Kachi didn't deign to show the bigger techniques to Soun.

She couldn't. By the time she met him, she was crippled and had abadonend
martial arts.

...

Are you saying Kachiko only married Soun because she was in traction
and was unlikely to get another offer?

That's gotta be... depressing for the kids. ^_^;;;

 And as suddenly as it started, the brushing stopped.

And the room was still intact? Amazing. I imagine things got strewn
about a bit...

Nah. it's not an area effect thing.

You mean... the sonic vibrations couldn't destroy targets
a mile away?

 "Told you... It was... Dangerous. Only a true... Master... Can use

such

 techniques... Safely," Kachiko gasped out.

All the more reason to try and master it!!!! A martial artist's life
is fraught with peril! ^_^

Ranma certainly would try to learn it. Might have him try later.

Do it!!! Do it!!!

Kachiko starts thinking that Ranma's coming on to her or something
like that, but NO, he just wants to learn the technique!

 "A true martial artist... Fears nothing," Kachiko rasped out, along

with a

 good quantity of foam. She wiped her mouth off with a towel, leaving

a
huge

 quantity of foam on it, and headed for the door to the bathroom.

Huge and good quantity of foam... I'd recommend an alternate term for

foam

and for quantity. How about 'amount' and 'froth?'

I dropped the second reference to it altogether. It works better that way.

Okay.

 "Today's shaping up to be a wonderful day."

Either that was sarcasm, or if it wasn't, she just jinxed it. ^_^

It was sarcasm. I cleared that up in a revision.

Ah. Good.

Kachiko's purposefully trying to anger Akane, isn't she?

No. Kachi had to move quick. She was just late in getting to the dinner
table.

It just seemed that she was unnecessarily foregoing the rules
of ettiquette... I mean, there are reasons for that, but still...

 Kasumi cleared her throat. She said to Kachiko, "There's a space next

to

 Father."

Gotta get 'er acclimated again.

Kachi: Not bloody likely.

(chanting, swaying back and forth) DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

And, naturally, the new character is a superior martial artist when it
comes to eating...

Nope. Genma outmanuvers her.

I noticed that only after delving deep into the later text
and actually bothering to take it all in. One notices these
things only after one tries to find some witty remark about
it...

Shouldn't it be the typical free-for-all here? (Unfortunately, I'm one
of those that only has the fan fiction to go on, for the most part.
That's why I don't write much Ranma fanfiction. ^_^)

No. Genma is stealing from Kachi, so he isn't harrassing Ranma for a change.

Ah. That must make things more convenient for Ranma.

Ranma: Hey! Thanks a lot, Tendo-san.

Kachiko: That's KACHI!!!

"I ordered some special, secret Chinese potions off Amazon.com.
Keep it up, and I'm locking you two in a room and experimenting at
random."

Heh. Another cute one.

Hmm. I keep getting told how cute I am...

Eh, well, it's just to hide my devious mind.

"Like the badger you've got on your shoulder."

"What? B-chan is perfectly normal!"

Heh. again.Very amusing stuff.

Domo arigato, mistah robot-o!

I probably missed something... Either she doesn't believe them about what
happened, or this Kachiko is long before she had children, or...

It's the latter. It's hard to address someone older than you as your child,
especially since you haven't even had sex yet. :)

Cologne: That's what BRAINWASHING is for, my dear...

 "All right, Kachi," Soun said happily.

 "You can call me Miss Tendou," she started coldly.

I don't really like Kachiko. But I suppose that's my problem. ^_^

Picture yourself at 17. Picture ending up trapped in the future where three
people your age insist they are your kids and that you have to start
sleeping with an older woman whom you find unattractive, all the while being
told you must abandon your dreams in favor of doing something you hate.

Now

is it really all that difficult to see why she acts negatively to any
implications that she should treat Soun in anything other than a purely
platonic manner?

If you insist that I be taking this seriously...

In a realm like that of the Ranmaverse, I would search for alternatives.

1) Time travel. Get back to my previous position and go on like nothing
ever happened.

Failing that...

2) Go to Wisconsin and hoe beans for the rest of my life out
of sheer contra-mindedness.

If I can't escape...

3) Age and appearance modification. If I have to stay, it might
as well be on my terms, adapting the world to suit my needs.
Spouse ain't attractive? Well, we'll just have to fix that,
now, won't we? Kids too old and grown up? No problem. Let 'em
be.

If someone denied me that opportunity...

4) Revenge. Mind-tingling plots and, ultimately, destruction of
the world. Desperate people do desperate (and stupid) things.

If they didn't work out...

5) Take up a dangerous hobby or sport. Feel the rush and
the excitement. If the excitement doesn't take my mind off
things and give me a renewed perspective on life, there's
always the off chance that the equipment would fail.

If I still don't like it and the equipment works perfectly
every time...

6) Develop a surly attitude and get on with my life, wherever
I got put.

I can understand Kachiko's position--it's perfectly logical
and stuff, but I still don't like it from an outside perspective.
If ya want me to empathize with a character, give me one I like.
If not, then give me plot devices or give me a well-crafted
story! ^_^

 Soun's moment of happiness passed and he stared depressingly back into

the

 table.

Poor Soun! ^_^;;;

Well, this is true.

I like cheering on the impossibility. Lost causes are often the
most fun to fight for. (Besides, I love to see the look on
other peoples' faces) ^_^

And since you're likely to handle it well, despite whatever
crazy thing I might say, why not say it and be done with it?

 "How are we going to get you admitted?" Ranma asked as he continued
 shoveling his own food in his mouth.

"Hah! Like anything else around here. We'll use a Deus ex machina!"

"Deus ex machina?" Nabiki asked, stroking her chin. "I've heard of
those..."

"I have a few upstairs," Kasumi offered. "I'll go get them!"

True. I might even use from time to time. It's not like Takahashi didn't
do it frequetly. :)

Right proper, it is!

 Kachiko said, "Oops. You have some food on your cheek."

"Here, let me wipe it off for you..."

"No!" Ranma protested while Kachiko licked a napkin and started to wipe
off his cheek. "Sheesh, you really ARE a mom, aren't you?!"

Heh. Cute, in it's own way. But I like mine better. :)

You would. ^_^

Different styles suit different stories, it is true...

"ItsnotmyfaultshediditIllbelesssloppyfromnowon!"

"What did he just say?" Akane whispered to Nabiki.

"I don't know. I think it was in Elvish..."

"Presley?"

"Yeah..."

Just plain evil.

For the entire joke, see "Soul Music," by Terry Pratchett.

"Except cats, first-class demons, forest imps, and clowns. Mimes, too!"

Always the mimes. They must never be forgotten.

Quite. ^_^

 Kachiko relaxed slightly, now regarding Soun in a more cautious light.
 "Well, just so long as he doesn't. That was way too creepy. My hand's

still

 trembling." She held it up to show them.

"BANZAI!!!" *THWACK!!!* She knocked them all down with that vibrating

hand

and made her escape!

"After her!"
"Don't let Mom get away!"

Heh. It hasn't reached that point yet.

Yes... She's still in shock and on step one of the displacement
scale I described above...

Time travel options need to be looked into.

Good point, Nabiki! Get 'er on lack of ettiquette!

And agitating her by pointing out Ranma is taken goods. Not that it helps
when Soun and Genma open their mouths.

Yes. It works this way. ^_^

Look who's talking. Seventeen with three daughters. ^_^

Besides, she's just saying that because she wants to be engaged to Ranma.

Got that right.

Any excuse you want to use will be fine. ^_^

And... AND!!! There's no way ANYONE in the Ranmaverse is that sensible
and actually believes such a thing. So, she has to be just making excuses.
^_^

Well, it was her feelings on marriage when her parents tried talking her
into marrying young. She's just applying them to this situation.

Okay. So long as it isn't the fabled "Voice of Wisdom" we so
often come to dread...

Post manga volume 38, the eventual marriage is all but assured. (I haven't
read much, but that part I DID read.)

Depends on how you want to take it.

Ah, yes, open to interpretation and such. Fascinating
how people who read the same material come to such
different conclusions...

Sixteen is young and people can still
change, not always moving in the same direction. OTOH, they've been through
a lot and have stuck by one another through thick and thin. Just try to

keep

an open mind. :)

It's fantasy. They're as destined as Crono and Marle...
as Keitaro and Naru... as Vash the Stampede and Meryll Strife!

At least she isn't hanging onto his arm and rubbing her cheek against
his shoulder. ^_^

Nah. She hasnt' decided if he's a keeper or not. But she's keeping the
option open.

Besides, she's gotta look for Doc and the Delorian when she's
got a spare moment...

*PHOOMP!* They departed in a puff of smoke.

"Awww!" Kachiko complained. "But I wanted to... Oh, darn..."

Have to settle for Kunou, I guess. :)

It'd be just fine. Just marry 'er off. The quicker and the
lower in the Ranma caste, the better. ^_^

 Soun joined his friend and helped push Ranma from the other side. He

nodded

 solemnly. "That's right. I'm sorry, Kachi-chan. But Genma and I swore

an

 oath that our families will be united through marriage. It's a matter

of

 honor."

That's the way, boys! Show 'er who wears the pants in the family!!!

They do put forth an effort.

It's good to see they do. Wouldn't want the new character to get
her way all the time, even if she was supposed to be married to
Soun somewhere down the temporal mishmash...

 Kachiko stomped her foot like a petulant child.

I like this description. It suits her so well. ^_^

It is her, no doubt about it. :)

That's another thing I like about the story: Not afraid to
damage the new character I don't particularly like. ^_^

Yet, at least. Something you write may yet convince me to
like 'er... But she bugs me, for some reason.

"No, you're officially declared dead," Genma noted. "I will not have
my boy marry a dead girl!"

Kachi: If I'm dead, then you won't feel me kick you in the balls.

Genma; Upon careful reconsideration, you're lively enough to qualify for
fianceehood.

It's funnier thinking of Genma as a panda, holding up a sign...

It just depends on how you want the plot to go. I'd say that if you
wanted to complicate things, you could let it go like you've got it...

The plot determines all. ^_^

Oh, what will cause the most chaos, of course.

^_^ Good.

People being reasonable in the Ranmaverse?! NEVER!!! I forbid it!!!

It shan't last.

Phew! That's a relief.

"Yes!" Akane replied instantly, desperate to assure the marriage she'd

gone

through so much to get. "Yes! I wanna have babies!" She grabbed Ranma

by

the arm and hauled 'em upstairs to her room, where she put a "do not

disturb

sign out front before slamming and locking the door.

Nobody quite knew what to say to that.

Nor do I. :)

^_^

"But she's engaged to ME!" Kasumi cried.

Everyone stared at her.

"Mother," Kasumi added after a moment, "I don't want to have Ranma as
a stepfather!"

Heh. Kachi isn't as weak willed as Soun when he was asking the girls about
Hinako being a potential step-mother.

Well, think of it from Soun's position: Your spouse comes back from the dead,
many years younger than at the time of death, and completely refuses to
acknowledge you, possibly hates your guts, etc...

That's something to cry about...

So heartless. That's why I don't like 'er (reason two).

Hardly. When it comes to Soun, she's simply acting the way 99% of humanity
would in her situation.

Hmm... Revised reason two, then: Acts the way 99% of humanity would in
her position. ^_^

As to the other things, well, reversing the
percentiles might be more appropriate. :)

Normal in areas that bug me, exceptional in ways that bug me...

Maybe I'm not putting forth enough effort to like her. ^_^;;;

But I'm not supposed to like 'er. I'm supposed to watch 'er! ^_^

Her characterization's fine, other than my badly-skewed opinion. Couldn't
be handled better.

Thanks. She has to be irritating to the characters to a large degree. It
will become clear once we get to the end of the tale.

Okay. As long as it gets cleared up eventually.

Just take my groans as a sign of my ignorance. Pay them no mind.
I like how you write. ^_^

 can just take it easy since there ain't a hurry. Don't you think

so...?"

 Ranma trailed off, finding Akane nowhere in sight.

Eh, you love it, Ranma. Admit it!!!

He does. He mentions it later that boredom would be worse.

Ah, yes... True.

Now he starts to justify it. ^_^

Nah. Exposition for the reader. :)

Hmm... That would make more sense that way, yes.

 Regardless of how his father had raised him and how well he had turned

out,

*Smirk* ^_^

Well, he does. :)

He thinks so, at least.

Eh, he likes it. What'd life be without constant challenges? Boring,

that's

what. If they were to suddenly stop, he'd hunt 'em down and ask 'em why.

He thinks that in the next line.

Eh?

Those times usually passed quickly, since in
 his eyes things being boring would have been far worse to deal with,

See? :)

So he does. Hmm... ^_^

 well no matter how reasonable it was. So he let the matter alone,

confident

 things would return to normal, like they always did.

Yup. Back to the status quo, at the end of each episode, usually. Ignore

the

problems and they'll go away.

That's what he's going for. :)

And things are seriously Wrong(tm) if they don't...

Gotta be at least a little creepy. You'd do her a favor to let her mind
settle back down. She's still in shock. Any decision she makes should
be considered suspect.

Yes, well, that would be the wise decision. Needless to say, it's not a
course that will be taken.

As long as you don't take it on a downward spiral and finish up on
a civilization-destroying thought experiment, I'll be fine.

(I STILL have NGE trauma! >_<;;;)

"Nice move, Creskin!" Ranma yelled sarcastically from the canal. "While
you're at it, why don'tcha stab me in the back and try to get me engaged
to you! Oh wait, you already did!"

That's certainly going to endear her to him. ^_^;;;

No one said she was the soul of tact. :)

If she were, I'd just find another reason to complain about 'er. ^_^

Perfect characters can be annoying... but so can flawed characters,
if they're flawed in strategically-placed areas...

 "It's not working very well," Kachiko said in all earnestness.

Another reason why I don't like her (number 3). Too smug. That's
my job.

Actually she's not being smug. She was testing him out of curiosity. The
jumping up after is smugness. :)

Ah, I see now. ^_^

"You remind me," Ranma began, "of a very young Cologne..."

Heh. But the mirror showed she was a hottie back then with poor taste in
men. :)

And Happi was the same, only younger...

Kachi: Just like me

Ranma; Hey! I ain't another version of Happosai.

Time to get the little bandanna/mask thing on and go hunting, Ranma!
Show 'er you're just as good--BETTER than that old guy!

That's the way! Get the happy couple back together!

Err, they aren't really 'apart'. :)

Good. ^_^

 "So what's the school like nowadays?" Kachiko asked as she continued

walking

 backward.

At least she isn't showing off some deft level of acrobatics to further
demonstrate her superiority.

Nah. Overkill.

A little overkill never hurt anyone. Just ask Lina Inverse! ^_^

And Kachiko brags that she's had worse... "In my day, kiddo, we used to
have real TYRANTS for principals

Actually she did. :)

Indeed, she did...

 That perked Kachiko's interest. "The principal's name is Kunou? You

mean

 they finally got rid of Principal Faust?"

Should've been good ol' Principal "Dark" Schneider. Eh, well, Vader's
already taken. ^_^

Reference to a different anime series.

Can't have that in serious fan fiction...

It does get out of hand in parodies, as well... If not checked properly.

 Seeing her distracted, Ranma at last acted on her plan. The redhead

pointed

 directly behind Kachiko and shouted, "Look! It's Haley's Comet!" Then

hit

 the support Kachiko had been standing on.

*Applause* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! Way to go, Ranma!!! That's how
ya do it!!!

Sad that it ended up working for him, wasn't it?

I thought it worked out great for 'em! ^_^

 Ranma looked down at the motionless girl. "Umm. she might need
 mouth-to-mouth. I think it would be a really bad idea if I-"

DO IT!!! DO IT!!!

Nah. His grave is deep enough as it is.

If you're digging yourself in... If you go far enough, you just might come
out on the other side!

Keeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaacccccccccccckkkkkkk!!!

Then, magically, Akane and Kachiko had switched bodies...

"HAHA!" Kachiko yelled in triumph. "Now you HAVE to marry me!"

Oh, wait, that's the Monkey Headbutting fanfic... ^_^;;;;

Yep. That's been over for a while now.

It was nice while it lasted.

It's temporal/destiny mechanics, Kachiko! You're trying to die and make
everyone feel sorry for you again!

Well it won't work! They're keeping you alive and making you get back
together with your husband whether you like it or not! Wouldn't be
proper otherwise.

You'll see.

Looking forward to it!

 "What was that bit about not being a lesbian?" Akane asked, her
 sensibilities returned.

"Well, maybe I am, but just a little. Only enough to like Ranma, whatever
form he's in. Really. No more than that. Why are you looking at me like
that?"

Heh. She's not digging herself that grave yet.

Yet? You mean it's going to happen? ^_^

"No! I take full credit--er, responsibility!"

"Nonsense, someone as nice as you wouldn't do that to me... It just gave

out."

Sadly, that might have worked.

Alas, poor plotline. I knew him, Horatio...

 "Sounds good to me." Ranma put on her best poker face.

 Kachiko punched her in it.

I take that to mean that Kachiko punched Ranma's poker face. I understood
it and all, but still, it seemed a bit oddly phrased...

Hmm. I thought it made sense and would be at least a little amusing.

Well, it was, but I was in C&C'er "check to see if that works or not
gramatically" mode.

 "It's different when a girl knocks a guy in the water than when a guy

knocks

 a girl in the water. Everyone knows that."

That's generally true, but when they're as stuck up as Kachiko, who wants
all the glory and power of a mother without the responsibility

Nah. She doesn't want the glory and power as anything other than an
occasional tool.

But she most certainly doesn't want the responsibility...

The point at which tormenting Kachiko is no longer any fun is when she
starts crying. Unless they're crocodile tears, in which case, the teasing
must continue.

She's not Usagi. :P

No, and that's the problem, really... ^_^

 "Oh, good point," Akane said.

No it isn't.

In the Ranmaverse female perspective it is. :)

Well, if you put it that way... ^_^

Ranma keeps cute things in his pockets for just such an emergency? Good
work! ^_^

Well, cute is all a matter of perspective as well.

Indeed. ^_^

 "Aw come on. I'll give you something else cute if you answer a question

for

 me."

"Like dat widdle piggy gnawing on your foot?"

Nah. She'd recognize her 'Darling Charlette' :)

True... She would.

 Azusa made a circle around Ranma, looking over her the way a vulture

might

 examine a man lost in a desert and fifty miles from the nearest oasis.

She

 said, "Okay. If Azusa can have Louis, she'll answer your question."

^_^ Appropriate comparison.

Thanks. Don't use metaphors often.

Thankfully, this isn't a no-metaphor zone...

It'd have been better if she could have been asked to explain why it's

not

the same. ^_^

Nah. There's no rational explaination for it.

True, there isn't... It just... is!

 There was the sound of two vehicles colliding. A moment later a voice
 shouted, "Oh no! That container full of deadly snakes just broke open."

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Glad you approve.

Extremism in proper amounts and locations is quite comical.

 "And there's no concertina wire along the top of the wall either."

There she goes again, bragging about how bad things were in her day...
She'll probably get bored at this school.

Nah. Hinako will see to that.

Mwahahahaha! ^_^

 "Highly trained, genetically enhanced, intelligent guard dogs?"

"Only a couple in the basement. The principal keeps them well-shaved."

Cute bit at the end of that.

Thanks!

 Kachiko turned as well. "Hey, I like the belt and vest, but I'm not

so
sure

 about the boots. Are those snakeskin?"

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! Good recovery for Ranma. ^_^

Thanks. I thought it would be appropriate to show he came out on top fairly
easily.

And it works good, in my opinion.

It's sad that so many fanfics ignore this angle and have
him die of cancer or some other rather un-funny malady.
If he's going to die, it might as well be due to some
alien disease that causes random mutations that he continuously
shrugs off. "Eh, I've had worse." ^_^

Depends on the nature of the fic.

Well, me being me, I generally think satire is the natural form
of most good fanfics. (Not all, mind you, but...)

 Just as Akane was about to say more, the familiar form of the Principal
 popped up before the trio. "Aloha everybody."

*BZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!* The electric razors got fired up...

Nope. He's going with a different tactic.

Hmm... Yes, he is. And this tactic is roughly as good as the last one,
the benefits being that it's new.

 The Principal brandished his tools like they were hair clippers. "Don't

be

 so reluctant. All de keikeis be getting de ink done nowadays."

"Ranma," Kachiko said, "if you get that on your arm, I'm not marrying

you?"

"You're not!? Great! Sign me up, Principal Kuno!" ^_^

It's not that easy.

Alas, we always have to overcomplicate things. ^_^

 "No way!"

 Ranma met the Principal's lunge with a boot to the face.

"Dan Dan Boot To The Head!"

Should have been 'foot', even if he did fashion serpentine footwear.

But those are such nice boots... How could you not mention them
in such a well-placed kick?

That would explain the haughty manner she's been handling everything so

far...

Just because you're handling her characterization perfectly well doesn't
mean I have to like 'er. ^_^

No. As long as you keep reading is what matters. :)

And if you can stand my grating commentary, it's no problem
at all! ^_^

It was tactical skills,
 adaptability, deception, and ruthlessness that were the keys to

victory,

 especially when it came to powerful opponents.

WRONG! It's love and na?vet?. That always beats an opponent, no matter
how powerful!

Not here. That's Sailor Moon. :)

And Cardcaptor Sakura. And Pokemon. And Macross. And Neon Genesis
Evangelion, but they didn't have a chance to show it all that much. ^_^

 "Don't worry about it. There's only one Kunou, thankfully. And besides,

if

 he's bothering her, that means he's not bothering you."

Only one? He's got a dad and a sister. ^_^

He means Tatewaki, of course. :)

Oh. That one. You mean they haven't seen the huge tank of smiling,
giggling clones they keep of him in the basement?

She's a sucker for some good poetry. I'll bet Soun used to recite it to
her all the time before he got embittered by her death. ^_^

Yep. Turns out she is. Thought that might throw some people.

When "expect the unexpected" becomes a reflex...

 Kunou went from holding her hand to his chest, to clasping it in both

his.

Invite her out!!! Invite her out!!!

he's working his way to it.

^_^

"Er, yes! Would you marry me?"

"But of course, Gift from the Heavens..."

"Waiwai!"

Three failed relationships later...

"Man," Ranma commented, "I can't believe your mom divorced your dad...

and

married mine!"

Heh. Too much Bill and Ted, I see.

Is it possible to have too much Bill and Ted, I ask you? ^_^

 you do it so well it's really sexy. And you're good-looking too. Do

you
have

 a girlfriend?"

That's the way! Ranma, Akane... Leave 'er be!

Nope. The repercussions from that pairing would be too much for them to
bear.

Only if she's going to time-travel back to the moment where she left... ^_^

 "No member of my family, especially not my mother, can possible think

Kunou

 is anything but an idiot."

Maybe she's got a certain amount of na?vet? after all... She may yet be
able to beat Ranma!

She did once, though she suckered him bad.

True...

They're just jumping to conclusions here. Actually, that's quite in

character.

Good job. ^_^

Also makes for fun.

Usually does.

 "I am not! I'm trying to save you from making a mistake."

 "What do you mean? Does he have some kind of communicable disease?"

"Maybe. He's got a minus ten Brain of Stupidity, if ya catch my AD&D
drift..."

Potion of Delusion, actually. :)

Cursed Bokken of Delusion. The potion would wear off. ^_^

 "I like persistent men. It means they're really interested in you

instead of

 just passing the time away."

DATE 'EM, KACHI! DO IT!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!!!

Oh, she does. It's not a bluff to make Ranma jealous.

Yaaay!

 It was between classes that Nabiki Tendou made her way through the

school

 hallways, looking for one person in particular.

She didn't know who, but she'd know when she found him!

Like Dirk Gently, actually.

Hmm. Don't recognize the reference.

Dirk Gently is a Douglas Adams creation...
He's a detective that tends to follow other people who look like they
know where they're going... and usually ends up where he needs to
be.

 Nabiki wondered how Ukyou took the news. Not that her interest was

anything

 other than idle curiosity, but it might have made Ranma a touch more
 irritable than he was this morning.

Gotta include the other characters' reactions. When Ukyou, Shampoo, and
Kodachi get thrown into the mix, Kachi'll fit in just fine.

She's considering Ukyou only because Ukyou is the only one at school who
would have heard the rumor.

Okay. We all like a bit of Ukyou now and again.

o/One, two, three-four-five...\o

o/A little bit a' Ukyou, all night long!
  A little bit of...\o

 Hinako's interest instantly doubled. "Soun-chan. What about Soun-chan?"

Ah, yes, play on the emotions, and then extort 'em for all they've got!

Not quite

Well, almost. ^_^

Don't try to back out now, Nabiki. You've dug your trench, now open the
floodgates!

She's faking it. She'll tell Hinako.

Well, yes. So it would seem...

But the plot is thicker than it seems! Really...

 Hinako's coin fell from limp fingers. "Wife?"

 "Afraid so. If you ask him, he'd tell you he's married to her."

Yes. Make it sound bad...

And the best part is, it is the truth.

Actually... Well, it depends which way you want
to spin it. If the girl was pulled out of a temporal
vortex before she got married, she may as well
have been someone from an alternate dimension
with the same name.

Of course, that's just the way my fatalistic view
of things could go... ^_^

 "But, it can't be. He's still mourning your mother."

 "He's not the only one in mourning about her," Nabiki said acidly.

She wants to see Mommy back with Daddy as much as Soun does. ^_^

Nope. Kachi is rubbing her wrong enough she doesn't want her as mother.

Well... Brainwashing, then! We all like brainwashing! ^_^

 Nabiki followed, a smirk on her features.

Gotta find some way to make Mommy uncomfortable at school. ^_^

And for Nabby to get some measure of revenge.

Well, yes, if you want to go that way...

 Hinako placed her hands on her oversized dress

I believe I saw her dress once, and it was just about the right size for

a

cute, all-covering dress for a little girl, while being a bit snug and

short

for an adult...

Well, it's to show she's going to change soon.

Well... Okay, then.

 "This is really bad," Ranma lamented.

He's had worse. ^_^

True, but that doesn't make it any less bad.

True...

 "Would you go away?!" Ranma booted the Principal out the nearest

window.

Aww, and not through the second floor and the roof? ^_^

Straightest path with the least resistance.

Yeah, I guess "longest path, greatest resistance, greatest velocity"
is best saved up for the more extreme moments...

That Kachiko was
 'related' to Akane, who was fairly popular to begin with, only helped
 matters and made people inclined to like her.

Trust the new character to be instantly liked...

Well, just that she has an inside line in this case.

Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, okay. ^_^

It was times like this she really wished
 she could tell Sakura the truth.

Sakura... Don't tell me, I missed something while skimming through the
past chapters.

Kachiko's best friend whom she visited in chapter one and discovered she
was old now.

Oh yeah... I DID skim through that part. I just didn't analyze it as
thoroughly as I'm doing this chapter.

And I take it she didn't so much as meet Soun until much, much, much
later?

Hey! Beats being dead. And if you don't like it, then just toss yourself
off a bridge. Problem solved, status quo resumed. Happens all the time
in episodes of other series.

I don't like it either, but hey, it happens.

Nah. She's not suicidal by any stretch of the imagination.

But then, she's only been staying with Ranma & crew for a few days. ^_^

Wait for it...

Make up with Soun. Remember: if age is a problem, it can be remedied.
Just ask the Amazons for something!

Nah. Soun is a no no. Ranma or Kunou are the way to go.

Awww... Please? Can't we have Soun snapping, renting a backbone,
re-learning some heavy-duty martial arts techniques in a futile effort
to regain Kachiko's affections? (Shrooms, too! Gotta 'ave the shrooms.)

Reasons why I don't like her (number four). Running away from the past.

Not really. The past is no longer an option for her, at least at the moment.

Now, where's that [Delorian or other acceptable plot device]...?

It's just that the present Tendous were no part of her past, so she has

no

connection with them. That they are trying to make her into something she
isn't only makes things worse.

So... She technically isn't really the girls' mother, is she?

I mean, genetically, yes, but nothing that couldn't be achieved
with a well-stocked cloning lab and programming center...

It _is_ worse if, as you say, she is, for all intents and purposes, just
a random girl pulled out of time and asked to be something that she
really wasn't with a group of people she's never heard about...

I mean, if this Kachiko had so much as met Soun before the wish,
that'd be something...

I'm trying to see if she's a copy, pulled out of time and another Kachiko
did go on to have children and die somewhere along the way, or if
she's going to get sent back at the end of the series (vowing NEVER
to have children of her own), or if there's something else in this crafty
framework of yours that you've got planned out.

Keep me guessing, DB! I'll come up with the wrong solution, but
maybe it'll be an amusing solution...

In any case, expect a lot of clone jokes in the next chapter I review. ^_^

 "How dare you sit there and smile so smugly, you delinquent!"

Ha-HAH! Now the battle begins!

Well, massacre more likely.

Yaaay! ^_^

 Turning a deep shade of red, Hinako said, "So you openly admit you

seduced

 him?"

Yes, make it worse. ^_^

Yep. Vague references abound next chapter as well.

Mwahahahahaha! ^_^

 Kachiko smirked and kicked back on her heels. "Look, kid, if you're

trying

 to buy me off, it won't work. I'm not some-"

 "HAPPO-GOJUUEN SETSU !"

YES, KILL!!!

Nah. Series would end too soon that way.

Don't mind me. Just tinkering around with results that I wouldn't
be happy with if they did happen, but I like cheering them on,
just the same. ^_-

And so, in summary, I would like to say that the chapter's just fine
how it is. To quote Scotty, "There's nothing wrong with the bloody
thing!" --Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

As long as you don't quote ST V. Then we would have to kill you.

^_^

"Your Pain(tm) runs deep..." -Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

I have my preferences and opinions, and since I'm one that likes
dealing with Annoying New Characters as well, I have to say that
you're handling Kachiko's characterization just fine. She is who
she is, and that's pretty honest. She's also a bit disoriented,
so there's no telling how she will react when the shock disappears
and "reality" sets in. However, I don't have to like the character
to enjoy the story, which is a much greater piece put together.

More on her and her feelings next chapter as we get a better look into her
mind. It went out to prereaders last night. Only need to hear from two more
of them.

All right! Hope you don't mind me voicing my abrasive opinion too
much. I've killed smaller-known authors with less...

Eh, you're a punk. You can take it. ^_-

(The point is, that it's a great style, even if I disagree with some
of it.)

There are also a number of plot devices that could be employed to
solve various problems, like age differentials and who's in love
with who. It'll be purely up to you how and if you want to
resolve them.

Not solving anything yet, and don't count on the shrooms turning up. it's
way too easy that way.

Aww! No 'shrooms?! Wouldn't be proper!

ArbyFish(gasps): Gotta 'ave the shrooms! Or else wot'd the gerbils think!?
They'd be runnin' around, wreakin' 'avok awl ovah th' place, n' scarin' th'
common folk if it weren't for th' 'shrooms! The economy'd collapse n'
the shrews'd buy up awl the backdoors to the main powah system n'
they'd start jumpin' in ta fry the circuitry. The circuitry's 'ooked inta'
the basement n' the caves where the weepin' wizzle wumps waddle
awl the wiffling wooden way to the grocery store ta buy a freestyle
mound a' shavin' cream for the yaks outside the backdoor. Now, the
yaks're more commonly known for buffin' the muffin' trays in the stuffin'
fluffin' yards n' if they can't shave regularly, they'd get upset n' frighten
off the mutton chefs n' that means no beef, noithah. Ya gotta 'ave roast
beef, or else wot'd the cows do? Can't 'ave them runnin' around, scarin'
the population... It'd be communal suicide, y'know!

Therefore, the 'shooms must feature some appearance or another. ^_^

Until the next time I decide to crawl out of the woodwork and do
a long review...

Thanks for the help. Really enjoyed looking it over and it amused me
greatly.

Sure! No problem. Just ignore the bits you don't find useful.

And I did find some useful comments throughout .

I am surprised, actually... But if you can find useful stuff out of my
rambling, I was glad to be of assistance.

----------------------
Benjamin A Oliver
boliver@U.Arizona.EDU
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html

        "We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
         We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
         Your humor will adapt to make us laugh.
         Resistance is and always has been: Futile."


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