Subject: [FFML] [R.5/TM!/possibily others]Laid
From: Thryth
Date: 7/22/2002, 5:40 AM
To: FFML mailing list <ffml@anifics.com>, Ranma Fiction List <ranmafiction@yahoogroups.com>, Ranma 1/2 List <ranma1-2@yahoogroups.com>, Chorus of Ryouga and Ukyou Fan Fic List <newchorus@egroups.com>


	"Why, praytell, have you called me to this place?"
Ayeka demanded.  Kiyone glanced over at her and arched
an eyebrow.  "This place" was the apartment she shared
with Mihoshi.
	"You and I have to have a talk," Kiyone said,
collecting a tray of snacks and heading out to join
her friend in the living room.
	"About what?" Ayeka demanded.  "Make yourself plain?"
	"You and Ryoko have come to an arrangement, soon,"
Kiyone said.
	"What sort of arrangement should I come to with
that..." Ayeka paused, flicking her dress with
unnecessary force and straightening her back. 
"...monster woman."
	"Just mention her name and you get excited," Kiyone
said, shaking her head.
	"Excuse me!?!!" Ayeka gasped, standing straight up. 
"Are you suggesting that I...and
that....thing...have...a RELATIONSHIP?!!!"
	"For goodness sake, I just said 'excited!'" Kiyone
said irritably.  "Sit down and hear me out."
	"You had better begin to make sense, Officer Makibi,"
Ayeka said harshly.
	"Let me give you a rundown of a rather common
sequence of events," Kiyone said.  "Ryoko teases you,
you overreact and insult her, she insults you, there's
a fight, lots of fireworks.  I...I...I..." each repeat
of the word was more emphatic.  "Have to..." Kiyone
held up her hand and started ticking off fingers.  
	"Clean up the mess, deal with the locals, deal with
the MIB," she paused and started a small side rant. 
"Are you aware that aliens and supernatural beings
have been in Japan long enough that more than NINETY
percent of the population is IMMUNE to neuralization? 
This is a statistic that I am given roughly THREE
TIMES A WEEK!!!   It's almost as bad as San
Francisco!!  Or even ATLANTA!!!  Which brings up the
trigger happy cat-girl and her sisters that came by
yesteday.  Anyway...THEN I have to deal with my
superiors, and FINALLY deal with your parents!  This
has been happening nearly twice a week in the two or
three years since we came here.  To top it all off,
your fights attract more galatic criminals than I
anything else I can imagine, and that's  when TENCHI
gets involved."
	Kiyone's voice started to raise to levels she usually
reserved for Mihoshi, and Ayeka blinked as she leaned
back, slightly nervous.
	"I swear, being stationed near the three of you would
make being partnered with Mihoshi look like the
assignment from heaven if it weren't for the fact that
SHE'S here too!!!"
	"And what about Washu?" Ayeka asked faintly.
	"She works in a sub-dimension," Kiyone says. 
"Barring Mihoshi incidents she has less impact on the
world at large than a salami sandwich."  Actually that
made her nervous, she was certain Washu would
eventually get bored and try something big.
	"And why," Ayeka asked.  "Isn't Ryoko here?"
	"Because the problem isn't with her," Kiyone said. 
"The problem is with you."
	"And how is that?" Ayeka asked.  "Should I just
abandon my claim on Lord Tenchi and give her an open
passage?"
	"Tenchi," Kiyone said.  "Will have two wives once he
takes the throne, assuming he takes the throne.  So
there is no need to abandon your claim on him.  Tenchi
can't decide between you because he loves you both. 
Ryoko wouldn't mind sharing, would actually appreciate
it, but isn't about to give up."
	"How would Ryoko appreciate, 'sharing' as you put
it?" Ayeka asked.
	"You have her wrapped around your finger as surely as
Tenchi does," Kiyone said.  "And are just as aware of
it."
	"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ayeka
said, putting her nose in the air.
	"Exactly," Kiyone said.  "I can't count the number of
times I could swear you made a pass at her.  Then you
shoot her down when she responds.  And it's worse when
you're both drunk.  She gets emotional and you get
mean.  Do you even remember how many times you've
brought her to tears during those drinking binges in
the baths?"
	"Binge?" Ayeka protested, not answering the question.
 "I don't binge."
	"Right," Kiyone said.  "Now the way I see it, you
either truly have desire toward her at all," Kiyone
thought that doubtful.  "Or else you are so
uncomfortable with the thought that you'd rather
sabotage any conversation you have Ryoko than risk
proving it to yourself."
	"I am not attracted to Ryoko," Ayeka snapped.  "Or
any woman!  It is untoward in a Jurain princess."  At
that Kiyone fixed her with a look.
	"Your mother and Lady Funaho," Kiyone said simply.
	"How dare you suggest such a thing," Kiyone gasped.
	"Since they admitted it, and told me you walked in on
them once," Kiyone said.
	"It is a dreadful lie," Ayeka said.  "I'll hear no
more of it."
	"Fine, fine," Kiyone said.  "Whatever.  In any case,
straight, bi, lesbian, whatever.  You don't have to
have sex with Ryoko for her to be the other wife."
Ayeka blinked as if she had never considered that
before.  "But telling her you have no interest would
at least be fair.  Not to mention stop leading her
on."
	"I am not leading her on," Ayeka protested again.
	"Whatever," Kiyone said waving that off. 
"Incidentally, I'd say she'd be a better First Empress
than Second."
	"And why is that?" Ayeka decided.
	"Take a moment to consider Ryoko's idea of covert,"
Kiyone said.  The image of a sevveral large explosions
came to mind.  "Do you really think she'd make a good
Head of Security?  Head of the Military should suit
her fine."
	"True," Ayeka admitted.  "She is much better at brute
force, isn't she."  Kiyone leaned forward.
	"That is at least concession in the right direction,"
Kiyone said.  "Now, on to my plan for the night."
	"Your plan?" Ayeka repeated.
	"Right," Kiyone said.  "Mihoshi is out on patrols,
I'm off duty, and Minagi is coming down to visit..."
	"Yes, two days from now," Ayeka said.  Kiyone smirked
and raised a finger.
	"That, is what she told everybody else," Kiyone said.
 Ayeka's mouth dropped open.
	"You said you weren't interested in women!" Ayeka
accused.
	"Did I?" Kiyone asked.  "I don't remember that."
	"You," Ayeka growled.  "But Minagi...?"  She looked
confused.
	"Looks like Ryoko, and isn't in love with you and
Tenchi," Kiyone said.  "And as easy as it is to play
with Ryoko's heart strings...I don't feel like
becoming the fourth of a quartet."
	"You're with Minagi because she looks like Ryoko?"
Ayeka said, narrowing her eyes.
	"Well, at first yeah," Kiyone admitted.  "But she's
got a lot of other great....and that's really not your
business so, now, on to my plan..."
	"I'm not interested," Ayeka said, putting her nose in
the air, and failing to push the vulnerability Kiyone
had displayed."
	"Then why aren't you leaving?" Kiyone asked.  Ayeka
flashed her eyes in Kiyone's direction.  "So, anyway,
I'm taking Minagi dancing tonight, in about thirty
minutes.  We're going to a club, and you're coming
with us.  At the very least, you can learn how to turn
down offers without insulting smeone's age, species,
intelligence, personality, parentage, strengths,
weaknesses, social status, children (not a favorite
one of mine either of late) or hair-color."  As Kiyone
ticked off points Ayeka winced.  "Did I catch them
all?"
	"Finances?" Ayeka said weakly.
	"Oh yes," Kiyone said.  "Financial status, another
no-no when politely turning someone down so that they
don't feel quite hurt and confused and decide to
retaliate starting a fight that destroys Tokyo Tower."
	"That was only our fault three times," Ayeka
protested.  She took a moment to catch her breath. 
"So you hope to teach me to treat that...."  Kiyone
gave her a look.  "Treat Ryoko a little more
politely."
	"At least," Kiyone said.  ~If I'm really lucky you'll
get laid, but how lucky am I ever.~  Speaking of
which, there was a flaw in her master plan here, she
knew it, but she couldn't quite lay hold of it.  Then
the doorbell rang, and Kiyone walked over to the door
and opened it to let Minagi in.
	The youngest Hakubi greeted Kiyone with a passionate
kiss driving her back into the apartment and shutting
the door behind them.  Until she caught sight of
Ayeka's disapproving face.
	"Oh don't stop now," Kiyone muttered as Minagi broke
off.
	"Uh, Kiyo-chan," Minagi asked faintly.
	"Hmmm?" Kiyone asked dreaminly, kissing at Minagi's
neck.
	"What's Aunty Ayeka doing here?" Minagi asked.
	"She's going dancing with us," Kiyone answered. 
"Sort of a lesson in tolerance for her."
	"Won't she tell Ryoko?" Minagi whispered, hopefully
low enough that Ayeka couldn't hear.  Kiyone froze. 
Yep, there was that flaw in the plan.  Kiyone glanced
over to Ayeka, where the princess was sitting with her
eyes averted.
	~Jsut have to make sure she stays too busy,~ Kiyone
thought, breaking fully away from Minagi who took a
sort of attention stance.  "Okay, we have to get ready
now.  Ayeka, you need to change clothes.  Something
more normal to Earth, I have some stuff that should
fit you in my room."
	"Obviously it has been your plan all along to see me
in revealing clothing," Ayeka accused the both of
them.  So saying she strolled defiantly into Kiyone's
room to change clothes.
	As soon as Ayeka was gone Minagi hit Kiyone upside
the head.  Kiyone flashed a what shrug in her
direction, and Minagi gestured irritably toward the
room Ayeka had just walked into.  This was followed by
the patented, "seemed like a good idea at the time"
shrug and the "great, now what" eye rolling.

*****

	At the Club Luna, a green haired woman approached the
bar and asked for the phone.  The bartender politely
pointed to the end of the bar and the young woman
strode for it purposefully.  She was a rather small,
elf-like woman with an odd, almost masculine stride. 
As if that stride were her true habit and it the
feminine glide she'd been using was an act that was
falling apart as she grew more irritated.
	She was dressed in a green mini-skirt and a tight
green-leather blouse with no sleeves and thin
shoulderstraps.  It reminded the wearer of a less
expansive version of that Xina chick's armor on TV. 
She was actually fairly glad there were no guys around
to look at her, because the outfit left little to
imagine about her assetts.
	She was wearing a pair of high heels, a form of
footware she had long ago decided was the bane of her
existance.  And above them a pair of lower-leg
wrappings, in green, with cute little cloth balls
hanging from small white ropes on the side.
	The woman grabbed the phone and dialed a number.

*****

	Across town, in a rather large home for the area, a
phone rang.
	"Tendo residence," a woman said, picking up the
phone.  "Nabiki speaking."

*****

	"There's nothing but women here, Nabiki," the
green-haired woman said, almost growlling.

*****

	"What was that?" Nabiki asked with a smirk.  "I
couldn't hear you."

*****

	"I SAID," the woman on the phone shouted.  "There's
NOTHING but WOMEN here!!"  She glanced around at the
eyes staring at her.  "Sorry..."

*****

	"Ranma," Nabiki said with a mock question.  "Is that
you?"

*****

	"Of course it's me," Ranma muttered.  "Who'd you
think it was, Amaterasu's grand child?"

*****

	"For all we know you could be," Nabiki said.  "Oh
don't start Ranma, in the past two years, we've heard
of ancestors of yours that were dragons, vampires,
succubi, demons, angels, gods, aliens, werecreatures
and I think even the snow-woman once.  You are quite
possibly the most crossed being on the planet.  We've
gotten to the point that we don't know what you are,
so please don't make statements like that again, we
really don't want to invite trouble."

*****

	"Right, right," Ranma said.  "But what's goin' on
here, Nabiki.  You didn't think I had enough women
trouble so you sent me to a place with no guys?"  A
couple of her carefully not listening listeners perked
up on hearing this.

*****

	"Would you rather I sent you to place with ALL guys
the way YOU'RE dressed?" Nabiki asked.
	"If you sent him to a place with all guys," Kasumi
said as she passed by.  "He'd probably have no problem
at all the way he's dressed."  Nabiki covered the
phone and shushed her sister with an amused, if rather
strained, look on her face.
	"You are under orders to spend the night relaxing,
Saotome," Nabiki said.  "So relax.  Talk to some of
the women, go dancing, eat some ice cream, drink some
beer.  Blow off some steam before you blow
up...again."

*****

	"Ahh, he had it coming!" Ranma said.

*****

	"Ranma," Nabiki said.  "It was a rat, not a wererat,
not a rat demon, not even a jusenkyo cursed martial
artist, just a rat.  And you hit it with a chi blast
large enough to dig a new tunnel in that hill."

*****

	Ranma grumbled silently as she pondered that.
	"You might have a point," Ranma muttered.  "You're
sure, Akane's not going to hear about this?  Before I
thought you meant, nobody is going to find out where
you are.  Not nobody is going to find out you spent
three days at a club-hotel full of women!!!!  Are you
CRAZY sending me here?"

*****

	"Nobody is going to hear about this," Nabiki assured
him.  "I set it up after all, and if this gets out my
head's on the platter right next to yours.  Though I
could probably talk my way out of any repercussions,
the point is I'd rather not need to, so...no one will
find out."

*****

	"Your concern for my safety is overwhelming," Ranma
muttered.

*****

	"Have you been reading the dictionary Ranma?" Nabiki
asked.  "I wasn't aware you knew words like
'overwhelming.'"

*****

	"Ha, ha," Ranma muttered.  "So just why is there
nothing but women here?"

*****

	"It's a specialized club.  I'm sure someone there can
explain it to you," Nabiki said.  Then she continued
in a sing-song voice.  "I'm hanging up now Ranma."

*****

	"Wait, Nabiki!" Ranma shouted.  "Don't...don't hang
up...you're absolutely sure...That Akane won't hear
about this."

*****

	"Ranma, just forget about Akane for three days,"
Nabiki said soberly.  "Just...forget about
her...alright?"

*****

	"But if she..." Ranma started.

*****

	"Forget about her for now," Nabiki said.  "That's an
order."  She quickly hung up the phone before Ranma
could answer.

*****

	"You couldn't think of anything better than sending
him uninformed into a lesbian dance club?" Kasumi
asked wearily.
	"It's also a hotel," Nabiki said smiling.
	"Nabiki," Kasumi tsked at her older sister.
	"Kasumi," Nabiki said, seriously.  "I could have sent
him to the most obscure and tiny tropical island, and
at least one of the lot would have followed him.  I
don't think any of them would look for him there."
	"The potential consequences," Kasumi said.
	"He promised he wouldn't try anything until he saw me
again," Nabiki said.  "As for the other, he could
laid.  He could run away.  He could even fall in love
and never come back here.  Hell, with Ranma there's
always the chance he could come back bearing the child
of an alien princess.  But I could care less about
that, I want him to forget about Akane.  At least
until she acts her age."
	"She wasn't herself when that happened, Nabiki,"
Kasumi said.
	"It's not the stuff she did while possessed that I'm
angry about," Nabiki said.  "It's the fact that she
refuses to admit that any of it was a 'big deal.'  She
acts like she doesn't care about what did or could've
happened."
	"It's an act," Kasumi started.  "She's scared."
	"There's more people involved than just her," Nabiki
snapped.  "So she can take her act and stuff it. 
After Ranma finally gets rid of Happosai's fetish
demon, her first act of free will is to hit Ranma up
side the head and berate the lot of us for not telling
her about her little pet pig being Ryouga.  And not
one word on the matter since.  Akane is NOT high on my
list of people right now."
	Nabiki stalked off, leaving Kasumi behind shaking her
head.  She supposed it was lucky that nothing truly
permanent had happened all the physical changes had
been reversed when the demon had been banished, and
Akane hadn't gotten around to doing more than changing
people yet.  No worse hentai behavior, but it had been
close.


((Notes: Got bored...so, yes, did something stupid and
started another idea...mostly comedic but starting on
a slightly dark note...as for Kiyone...she may be a
highly intelligent tactician, strategist and
investigator, but if something has been bothering for
a long time she has tendency to get hasty, slipshod,
and downright stupid in her attempts to fix it...hence
that "Get Ayeka laid." plan...and the relationship...I
just think it's fun to put Kiyone in such awkward
situations...oh yeah...even if I go with the implied
prediction in Nabiki's rant, most likely this will not
be a Ranma/Ayeka match up beyond a one or two night
stand...I really don't know where I'll end up with
this one...if I follow it at all...as for my
imaginings of Akane as possessed by a fetish
demon...check out www.bastianmage.com and go to
Sebestians adult galleries...lots of furry, rubber,
bondage and other strange fetishes....what can I
say....I was running on fumes when I wrote this
idea....))



=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" - 
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my brother

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html

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