The Great Art

A Ranma 1/2 spamfic

by:

The DragonBard

I do not own any of the characters represented in this work.  They are the 
creation of their respective owners.  In particular, Ranma 1/2 is owned by 
Rumiko Takahashi, and Viz Communications.  This is purely a work of fan 
fiction.  I make no money from this work, and have no intention of making 
any money from this.
******************************************************

     The crowd gathered to watch the latest of Ranma�s challenge fights.  
The usual faces were around;  Nabiki was plying her trade, gathering a few 
last minute bets, the fathers were stuffing their faces, and the fiancee�s 
watched confident in Ranma�s winning, while Akane and Kasumi looked on 
anxiously.  A few days ago, Ryouga had shown up with a challenge to Ranma, 
proclaiming how Ranma would be beatten by Ryouga�s new unstoppable 
technique.
     As usual, Ranma was publicly confident, secretly nervous about this new 
attack.  Every time Ryouga came up with a new one, Ranma was hard put to 
beat it.  Especially when Ryouga first used the Shishi Houkodan.
     It was then that Ranma had realized that he only came up with new 
attacks when someone else forced his hand, usually to counter someone else�s 
new attack or technique.  Ranma had then and their decided to develop his 
own techniques, just has his own father had many years ago.  But what to 
base them on?
     It was when Nabiki was watching some American cartoons on the TV that 
Ranma got his brainstorm.  He had quickly gone on a training mission, after 
all, it would be at least a week or two before Ryouga would find his way 
back to Nerima.
     It turned out to be a week and a half later that Ryouga had shown back 
up, just before Ranma had, for once.  Fortunately, Ranma was ready.
     The pair faced each other across the field.
     �This is where we first fought after you ran away from our fight Ranma, 
and this is where you will pay for everything you�ve done!�  Ryouga 
proclaimed.
     �Gods, you�re taking lessons from Kuno, haven�t you.�  Ranma  chuckled. 
  �Can�t you come up with anything better to do?  Like figure out how to 
leave a building without help?�
     Ryouga screamed in rage.
     �Die Ranma!�  He slammed his fist to the ground.  �Earth Trembles Under 
Heaven�s Rage Fist/Technique!�
     The ground trembled, and the assembled students covered their ears as 
pillars of fire like lightening appeared to link the heavens and earth 
between Ranma and Ryouga, each one unleashing a roar as if the world was 
ending.  Ranma didn�t even have time to blink before the final pillar 
appeared around him.  When the pillars vanished, and the rumbling stopped, 
all that remained, was a pile of ashes.
     �I�ve done it.  I finally beat Ranma!�  Ryouga said in a dazed voice.  
The technique was extremely draining, even more so than the Perfect Shishi 
Houkodan.  However, it was worth it.
     Finally.
     He had won.
     �Well, I wouldn�t say that, P-chan.�
     Two sapphire blue eyes looked out from the pile of chared ashes that 
had once been Ranma Saotome.
     The pile of ashes began to unzip itself, and out stepped Ranma, good as 
new.  Everyone was stunned when Ranma seemed to come back from the dead.  It 
wasn�t possible!  For a second, Akane thought that Ranma might have somehow 
picked up Saffron�s immortality ability when he defeated Saffron.  She 
dismissed it as ludicrous, however.
     �Now it�s my turn, Pig-boy.�  Ranma said.  He then stuck his thumb in 
his mouth, and blew.  His entire hand expanded like a balloon until it was 
almost the size of Ryouga�s upper body.  Ranma then punched Ryouga in the 
chest, sending him flying into the air.
     Ranma shook his hand, and it quickly returned to normal size.  He then 
raced over to where Ryouga had ploughed into the ground, and astoundingly, 
helped pick him up, and dust him off!
	Ryouga knocked Ranma�s hands away, growling at him.
	�I don�t know how you did it Ranma, but your new technique isn�t going to 
save you.�  Ryouga charged at Ranma.
	What followed after was to go down in the record books as the strangest 
fight in all of Nerima (and considering that one of those fights had 
involved tea ceremony, that�s saying something.)  Everytime that Ryouga 
attacked, some physical impossibility would foul him up, or harm him: anvils 
falling from the sky, holes somehow appearing in the ground to drop Ryouga 
into their depths, Ranma would transform into something else (though it was 
always a rather bad disguise, not his Jusenkyo curse working) and confuse 
Ryouga.
	The match finally ended when Ryouga charged at his foe, almost exhausted, 
and Ranma pulled out a poster covered by a picture of a landscape, and 
Ryouga actually ran right into the picture!  Ranma then promptly folded it, 
and slipped it into his pocket.
	Everyone crowded around Ranma, especially Genma who grabbed his son, 
yelling, �Where did you learn those techniques boy?�
	Ranma quitely pulled out a whole carrot, and started munching on it, as an 
anvil dropped on to Genma�s head.
	�It�s Warner-Fu, Pops.  My own invention.  What�cha think?�  He said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	I know that Metroanime wrote a fic somewhat similar to this, in one of his 
Omake chapters.  However, I came up with the idea some time before he 
released his fic.  Not to mention his is much better than mine is, but 
that�s to be expected from someone like him.  ^_^
	This is meant as a joke version of another fic I�m working on, where Ranma 
learns stuff from television and movies and such.  Originally I was planning 
on putting this out back in April, in time for April Fools, but problems 
with my muse prevented that.

C&C is appreciated.



>From the Pen of the DragonBard:
****************************************************
*"There are more things in Heaven and Earth . . .  *
*then are dreampt of in your philosiphy."          *
*Hamlet                                            *
*                                                  *
*Glendower: I can call spirits from the vasty deep!*
*                                                  *
*Hotspur: Why, so can I, or so can any man;        *
*But will they come when you do call for them?     *
*Henry IV                                          *
****************************************************

Yes I am crazy, I don't just act that way!


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