Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Mon, 01 Jul 2002 17:06:09 -0400 "L.S McGill" <lsmcgill@hotmail.com>
wrote:
This is the final version. While I welcome any and all C&C I think I'm
happy with this chapter finally, and do not plan on making any changes
beyond spelling/{grammer : grammar}. For those who've betaed for me, many, many thanks.
The figure casually balanced on a pole as her twin Tai Chi swords flashed
through a complicated form{, :} before she effortlessly moved through the air to
land on another pole. She stood motionless in the final stance, a sculpture
of leashed energy frozen in time, radiating an aura of vibrant life even in
her stillness.
Desperation had sent her to her grandfather to beg she be allowed to search
for a better husband, one who could at least compete with her in combat,
and could prove he loved her. He had smiled and asked if she had been
listening to the {wondering : wandering} storyteller too often and thought she was an
Amazon. But he had allowed her to search, had given her a chance to find,
if not happiness, at least a more tolerable husband. He had known her
requirements were more for show than what she was really expecting to find.
Yet she had failed. She had searched the entirety of China, fought hundreds
of opponents, and had found no-one who could pass both her tests. Some
could match her or best her, showing they were at least more worthy of
learning Clan Dragon's arts than Sung Li, but had demonstrated that they
were unworthy in other ways. A few had shown they might come to care for
her, but possessed none of the skills she sought. She had learned to her
sorrow most only saw her as a trophy, a beautiful possession, or a means to
aquire her {Clans : clan's} knowledge, which was no better than what she was hoping to
escape. She wanted someone to value her for herself, not her body or the
secrets of Clan Dragon. The very thought of either made her shiver. The
sole person she had found who could have passed both tests was...
unacceptable... much to her regret. She had learned much from their time
together, before duty had forced them to part.
Duty demanded she return home and accept her fate, to bear an heir and train
him. As the sole heir of Clan Dragon, she had to ensure the {Clans : clan's}
traditions were passed on, though it was likely Sung Li would squander what
little wealth the {Clan : clan} had left. At least his bloodline had some nobility,
whatever he personally lacked, and no... darker... ambitions beyond bedding
her. A mix of the right herbs in a tea, and she'd be too numb to notice
whatever he did.
She sighed as she let the ribbons settle. She might as well accept the fact
that she'd probably never get to exercise her skills ever again, either.
Sung Li was sure to forbid her to use her Arts after the way she had beaten
him so {throughly : thoroughly} when he had tried to meet her challenge.
{Distantly , : Distantly,} Zhu Shu heard the guide moaning. "Oh no! You fall in Spring of
Drowned Panda! Tragic legend, very tragic!" The rest faded as to Zhu Shu's
shock, a giant panda erupted from the pool straight at the young man. Too
stunned to move, she watched as it batted the young man right at her.
Stepping back, her foot found only air.
It took her nearly five minutes to find her swords among the rocks at the
{pools : pool's} bottom. As she came up for the final time, a low growl from behind
made her turn and freeze.
In shock, she raised one of her swords and looked in the long narrow mirror.
{ :}Her normally oval face was now more heart shaped, and her normally jade
green eyes were a luminous emerald with a more pronounced tilt. They
dominated her face and the slit pupils recalled the eyes of her guardian
deity. Ebon lashes swept out to frame those dragon eyes, and spun gold,
upswept eyebrows gave that face a nearly unearthly, exotic beauty that her
pointed, almost animalistic ears only accented. The pointed upper and lower
canines added to the wildness of her appearance. As she stood, she realized
she had gained nearly a foot in height and had filled out enormously. Her
expanded bust had ripped the ties free on her dress, and the skirt had
ridden up several inches. Strangely, her shoes were only a little tight.
They sparred most of the afternoon, Ranma learning quickly that Zhu Shu was
too fast not to take seriously, even though she had decided not to use any
of her {families : family's : clan's} secret techniques. A few good hard smacks had gotten him
over trying to hold back, without her having to resort to anything beyond
purely physical skills.
{ :}As it was, he'd managed to learn un-armed counters to almost all of her
sword techniques in a few hours. It was almost frightening how quickly he
picked up things her grandfather had spent years teaching her. All he
lacked was training in advanced chi techniques, though from the sheer levels
of barely disciplined energy she could feel flowing through him, once he
learned them, likely no-one she had ever met would match him. He had even
started matching her un-chi-augmented speed, which no-one she had fought had
done.
Then there was their sparring match. Zhu Shu had treated him as neither a
competitor nor an incompetent like his dad did. She had simply shown him he
actually had to take her style seriously, or take hits. She was totally
dependant on her weapon forms, which he {veiwed : viewed} as her biggest weakness, but
in her specialization he had been hard pressed to match her. He had enjoyed
the challenge, since it had forced him to push his endurance for moving at
speed, and he found he had enjoyed the way Zhu Shu treated him.
Ranma started to say something, then stopped. He shook her head and
laughed. "You're right. It could be worse. Very well Zhu-{Sensei : sensei}. Teach
me."
The Elder raised an eyebrow, "The girl who defeated Shan Pu? Do you seek a
Husband or a Sister-Wife? Explain yourself, {child : Child}."
In the end, she sighed. "My quest has not yet been fulfilled, Revered
Warleader. I am Ranma's friend. I claim no other ties. I am aware of
Amazon Law, and I seek no challenge for his hand. He is for Shan Pu to take
as {Husband : husband}. And yet...."
"Yes, {child : Child}?" Ke Lun asked gently.
"As I would see Shan Pu happy." Ke Lun looked thoughtful. "Happy or
unhappy, he will be her {Husband : husband}; there is no choice in Amazon Law in this.
Shan Pu must marry Ranma, but I fear they shall both require much
cultivation. She must learn not only how to love him, but how to make him
love her. That will not be easy." Ke Lun looked at Zhu Shu in appeal.
"Would you aid me in achieving this end?"
Zhu Shu stood and bowed deeply. "I am honored beyond words at the request.
I will{: ,} Revered Elder."
"Shan Pu. Bring water." Ke Lun commanded. The violet haired Amazon came
in a moment later with a bucket. "Dinner is ready, {Great Grandmother : Great-grandmother}."
"Thank you." Ke Lun handed the bucket to Zhu Shu, and {rasied : raised} an eyebrow
after she had changed. She seemed almost about to say something in
surprise, then shook her head and chuckled. "Forgive a foolish old woman
her worries, Child. You are correct. So long as you practice in your
cursed form as well, you should face no great disadvantage if you get wet in
a fight. Alas, Shan Pu is not quite so fortunate."
Shan Pu growled for a second, then {batted : butted} Zhu Shu's hand with her head in a
demand for more scratching. Zhu Shu giggled.
Ke Lun nodded. "I see. Your grandfather has trained you well. How well we
shall see {tommorrow : tomorrow}." She smiled as Shan Pu came out of the kitchen with
several plates. "For now, we get to enjoy my great-granddaughter's cooking.
{ :}And be sure to rest well tonight. You shall leave after tomorrow's
practice...."
Green fire flickered along the blades as they sliced through the shafts of
her {bonburi : bon buri} like they were air. Shan Pu turned her crouch into a drop down
the side of the pole, catching it just long enough to halt her momentum and
brace her feet for a leap past another pole.
Zhu Shu's ribbons flashed around her in a globe and pebbles flew in all
directions. Her descent slowed until she almost seemed to be floating as
she dropped down lightly on a pole top in the middle of the training ground.
{ :}Shan Pu waited, catching her breath as Zhu Shu closed her eyes. Warily,
the Amazon prepared to defend.
Shan Pu rolled through the pile of practice weapons at the edge of the
practice grounds with a clatter, rolling to her feet as Ke Lun called a
halt. She released her chi, the world resuming it�s normal flow as she
walked forward to meet Zhu Shu at the centre of the {Amazon's : Amazons'} training
ground. Ke Lun hopped over on her stick.
Zhu Shu's emerald green eyes met hers. "I have never had a sister, Shan Pu.
{ :}I hope I will prove worthy of the honor."
Zhu Shu smiled shyly. "No, Honored Warleader. I will accept Shan Pu as my
{Blood-Sister : blood-sister}." she replied formally.
"She is wise in many ways, but still a child. I'm hoping her friendship
with Shan Pu will temper my {great grand-daughter's : great-granddaughter's} impetuousness." She sat
down. "Primarily, I am relieved to have found that Clan Dragon yet
survives."
Ke Lun nodded, old memories playing behind her eyes. "No. She is the Heir.
{ :}Of that, I have no doubt."