Subject: [FFML] Re: God/Goddess of Children - AMG!/Ranma ½ Self Insert - Pro loge **FIRST FANFIC ALERT**
From: "the DragonBard" <dragonbard@hotmail.com>
Date: 5/8/2002, 9:00 PM
To: sanjiyan@blueyonder.co.uk, ffml@anifics.com



Not bad, however fair warning.  When a person does an SI, especially one 
where they get superhuman abilities, they tend to get in a lot of trouble 
with critics.

One problem I 'did' have with it, is that you're giving 'way' too much info 
during the conversations.  Don't mention the mecha until later.  Heck, don't 
mention it, let your character find out when he goes the visit the temple.

Also, why would Urd tell a complete stranger about her family problems, just 
like that?

Good start, just be careful.

>From the Pen of the DragonBard:
****************************************************
*"There are more things in Heaven and Earth . . .  *
*then are dreampt of in your philosiphy."          *
*Hamlet                                            *
*                                                  *
*Glendower: I can call spirits from the vasty deep!*
*                                                  *
*Hotspur: Why, so can I, or so can any man;        *
*But will they come when you do call for them?     *
*Henry IV                                          *
****************************************************

Yes I am crazy, I don't just act that way!


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