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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
-- File: touga.txt
-- Desc: touga.txt


Revolutionary Girl Utena
But a Habit is Stronger...






I hate showing weakness, and giving up any measure of my hard-won 
independance is nothing but.

A long time ago (when I was still a child), my father told me,
"Son, there are only three kinds of people in the world: takers,
fakers, and makers." On that morning, I resolved to fit squarely
into the first category, and on the whole I think I've managed to
succeed.

The weak are only to be used by the strong, and most of the time
I feel surrounded by weakness; which is why I'm so fascinated at
times with certain... people... who show but one chink in their 
rose-colored armor...

But doing this seemed like a betrayal of all that I hold dear.

I pause, about to knock on the door, about to turn away in 
disgust, when suddenly the choice is taken out of my hands and
the door opens, revealing Arisagawa's haughty face framed by her
trademark curls. Her eyes widen slightly at the shock of seeing 
me, but she makes no move to tighten further the bathrobe that
seems to be all she's wearing. "Can I help you, Council-
President?" she murmurs cautiously.

Despite all my efforts not to, I chuckle slightly. "Yes, that's
about what I'm wondering as well..." I notice the sudden look 
in her eyes, and wonder how in the hell I managed to miss the
double entredre in my last comment. "You needn't worry; I have
no designs upon your admittedly fair body." 

Now she does tighten her robe a bit, but her comment is light,
almost joking. "If you try, I'll skewer you." Well, I DID say
almost, right..?

I wave one hand airily. "No, nothing like that at all. I need 
your help on... a class assignment." 

She looks very surprised again, then she laughs. "You know, in
the middle of all this craziness, there are times that I even
FORGET that we're still in school..."

I frown. "It's too bad that Mitsuhari-sensei doesn't forget as 
well..."

She winces. "Ouch. Drama assignment?"

"Yes. We're supposed to give a monologue tomorrow, and I was 
hoping to practice it on you before going in front of a 
class and embarrassing myself."

At this, Arisagawa raises one finely-shaped eyebrow. "Why don't
you get one of your horde of fangirls to practice on?"

"Because I need your acid tongue and razor wit to find any
flaws before they become bad marks on a report card."

At this, she shrugs and nods, accepting the description without
a word of complaint. "Come on in."

It surprises me how... well... feminine her room is. It doesn't
seem to match her fire, her inner being; it would be as shocking
to find that Tenjou is a skilled chef... 

I motion for her to sit in one of the overstuffed easy-chairs, 
and she complies with a slight grin. I clear my throat, 
force down the nervousness that always threatens you on the
stage whether you're in front of your family or a thousand
strangers, and begin.

    "When I was a young man, and very well thought of,
     I couldn't ask aught that the ladies denied.
     I nibbled their hearts like a handful of raisins,
     And I never spoke love, but I knew that I lied.

    "But I said to myself, 'Ah, they none of them know
     The secret I shelter and savor and save.
     I wait for the one who will see through my seeming,
     and I'll know when I love by the way I behave.'"

At this, Arisagawa looks at me quite strangely at first,
then nods slowly and smiles.

    "The years drifted over like clouds on the heavens,
     The ladies went by me like snow on the wind.
     I charmed and I cheated, decieved and dissembled,
     And I sinned, and I sinned, and I sinned, and I sinned."

    "But I said to myself, "Ah, they none of them see
     There's part of me pure as the whisk of a wave.
     My lady is late, but she'll find I've been faithful,
     And I'll know when I love by the way I behave.'"

I suddenly slow down and say in my most solemn, serious
tones,

    "At last came a lady, both knowing and tender,
     saying, 'You're not quite all they take you to be...'"

I lower my head for a moment in silence, then raise it and 
say in the jauntiest way possible,

    "I betrayed her before she quite finished speaking,
     and she swallowed cold poison and jumped in the sea."

    "And I say to myself (when there's time for a word),
     As I gracefully grow more debauched and depraved,
     'Ah! Love may be strong... but a habit is stronger,
     And I knew when I loved by the way I behaved.'"

For a moment, I watch Arisagawa's face switch from extreme
to extreme, then she says softly, "I don't know whether to 
admire you for knowing yourself so well or be sick all over
my rug."

I said, bowing, "That good, you think?"




AUTHOR'S BIT
Against the protests of a prereader of mine, I'm standing
by my slight ooc-ness of Juri in this; after all, what's 
fanfic without some?


Shojo Kakumei Utena belongs to the Be-papas and Chiho Saito.


The poem is from The Last Unicorn and belongs to Peter S. 
Beagle. 

What do you think, sirs?

Aaron Bergman
http://www.rakhal.com/florestica/aaron-bergman/index.html
iamfanboy@uymail.com
"The only difference between genius and
 stupidity is that genius has limits."
 -Albert Einstein


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