--- Mark MacKinnon <emmack@sympatico.ca> wrote:

I'm happy to see the story continued.

This is one of the best jobs I've seen building a fantasy world.
The various gods, factions, and supernatural beings seem rather
well balanced in the city in terms of position and power.  The
city reeks of happy decadence.

But a couple of comments.

1) While I agree that the senshi do seem to outpower him (at least
from what they've seen so far), and could almost certainly take him
down fairly quickly as a team even given Ranma using everything,
Rei should be more worried.  She is the one who saw him in her
vision.  Granted she's had other things on her mind, but she should
be trying to make sure that when Ranma accompanies the senshi, that
there are at least two of the senshi around.  Or similar
precautions.

Though given that she's finally coming to terms with Usagi and
Minako as well as raising a goddess, she might remain distracted
until after Baenesti (sp?).  While she might have thought the
Sisterhood was a nasty immediate threat, I don't think she would
forget Ranma's putative part in all of this.  She was, after all,
rather suspicious of him to begin with.  And now that she's had a
chance to see the look in his eyes as described in chapter 11, she
should be scared of him again.

2) Leave the level of description of the fights as is.  There are
sufficently more interesting things happening that I don't want to
be subject to a blow-by-blow description of the fights.  Also the
better tactical sense of the senshi allows a better shorthand and
gives the viewer more space to imagine the scene.

Looking forward to the next chapter, this was

Anand Chelian


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